Author's note:
Here is another chapter! Hopefully you will enjoy!
As per usual, thank you very much to my friend MaliceUnchained for reviewing, and generally supporting this whole process of writing!
"Two glasses of water, cool." Jidzi watched the drinks materialize in the replicator, before she grabbed them, moving back towards the couch. Eilis was watching her, her eyes still reddened and swollen from the crying. She offered the captain a smile, before setting one of the glasses on the table in front of the woman, and sitting down next to her.
"Thank you, Jidzi." Eilis said, returning the smile. She picked up the glass and brought it to her lips, taking a few sips. The coolness of the water was a refreshing sensation, and she let out a satisfied sigh as she finished drinking, setting the glass back on the table. "I really needed that."
"I can imagine." Jidzi's smile widened and turned slightly mischievous. "You did leave quite a lot of water on my shoulder." She grinned as she tapped the wet spot on her uniform.
Eilis huffed in amusement, unable to stop her smile from growing wider. "Sorry about that."
"Don't be." Jidzi chuckled, leaning back in her seat. "I hope it helped."
Eilis nodded. "It did. I suppose all of those emotions I kept bottled up through the years need a way out." Her smile faded slightly.
"We can go over the science of it later." Jidzi said, placing her hand on the captain's. "For now just do whatever feels right."
Eilis looked up at her, and they locked eyes. A few moments later she broke the connection, looking down at the floor, the space between them. "I'm sorry you have to be on the receiving end of this Jidzi. You shouldn't have to…" She paused, when she felt a touch on her cheek and chin, as Jidzi gently guided her head back up to look at her.
"Hey…" She said gently. "That's what friends are for. Don't even try to think I'd rather be anywhere else right now, when you need me." A small, soft smile formed on her lips, as she moved her hand slightly, using her thumb to soak up a tear that once again started running down Eilis's cheek. It pained her to see her friend in such a vulnerable state, so emotionally unstable, but she pushed those thoughts down, focusing on the need she felt to help her. "You have spent your entire career making sacrifices for others. Fighting for them. Caring for them. So don't ever doubt you deserve the same." Eilis's chin shook, as she tried to open her mouth and speak, but Jidzi stopped her by gently placing her thumb on the captain's lips. "Shh. I know you will try to object, and I don't want to hear it. You are a remarkable person, Eilis. Maybe you'd be able to face this problem on your own. But I'm not about to let you. So how about you stop thinking about it, and stop feeling guilty about receiving my help. I'm here for you, just like I've always been, and how you've always been there for me. So let's just focus on getting you better. Talk about how you feel." She run her thumb across the captain's cheek again collecting a few more tears. "And don't hold back, I can take it." She smiled. "Even if you admit you really hated my cooking all this time, alright?"
Her last sentence brought a small smile to Eilis's face. "Alright." She said quietly, not trusting her voice not to break with emotions again. Instead, she adjusted her position and leaned forward, giving the Trill woman a hug, that seemed almost desperate. But it was a gesture that Jidzi gladly returned, and once again they just enjoyed each other's company, in the quiet room.
"Incoming transmission from the U.S.S. Relentless." The computer's female voice broke the silence, almost startling the women with its suddenness.
Eilis reluctantly let go of Jidzi, having almost fallen asleep in her arms from psychological exhaustion, enjoying the warmth and closeness of the other woman more than she cared to admit. Jidzi gave her an almost apologetic smile, as she started to get up. "You look tired." She said, her voice filled with care. "How about you go get some rest, and I'll take it in the cockpit?"
"Thank you." Eilis responded, rubbing her eyes with her fingers.
Jidzi smiled. "I'm sure Admiral Quinn would be happy you'll finally make proper use of this ship." She paused at the door. "Let me know if you need anything, alright?" After receiving a confirming nod from the captain, she quickly made her way through the ship into the forward section. Sitting down at the comm console, she tapped a few buttons, and the small monitor in front of her lit up, showing Tala in the ship's ready room. Jidzi smiled. "Tala, it's good to see you're in one piece."
"Likewise." The Andorian nodded with a smile.
"What's your status." Jidzi asked, leaning back in her chair.
"We've managed to defeat the Borg fleet that threatened the system, and have not detected any more ships for now. It was tough going but we had help." Tala reported.
"Oh?" Jidzi responded, curiosity filling her voice. "Anyone interesting?"
Tala's smile widened. "Admiral Tenahbi and Captain Kh'osh."
"Kh'osh?" Jidzi couldn't help but chuckle. "Is that old fool still trying to get Tenahbi into his bed?"
"Oh yes." Tala confirmed. "Even offered her some of his finest bloodwine."
"I'm sure the admiral was ecstatic." Jidzi grinned, amused by the situation.
"I don't think I've ever heard her change a subject so quickly. And you know how she is." The Andorian commented, her smile still wide on her lips.
"All too well." Jidzi agreed. A few moments later she turned more serious, getting back to the matter at hand. "What about the colony?"
"The evacuation is still ongoing. More of their transports will arrive soon. Hopefully they will be out of here before the Borg decide to try again." Tala reported, picking up a PADD and looking through its contents.
"Casualties and damage?" Jidzi asked carefully, dreading the answer.
"Twenty-three dead, sir. The wounded are being treated as we speak." Tala answered calmly, the difficulty of loss covered over by years of practice and war.
Jidzi felt her shoulders slump. "Twenty-three." She mouthed, shaking her head lightly. More brave souls that perished in the seemingly never ending conflict, that chased them even out here, on their mission of exploration. She sighed, looking back up at the monitor. "Send me the report. What about the ship?"
"Three hull breaches, and several more microfractures. One of our phaser banks got knocked offline. The slipstream drive also took a pretty big hit, and Thelan is unsure how long it will get to fix." Tala sighed. "It's a complex piece of tech, and we're focusing on getting our defensive and offensive capabilities restored, just in case."
Jidzi nodded in understanding. "As you should. Keep me posted. And don't worry about the drive, the Envoy is more than capable of accommodating us for a bit longer."
The Andorian seemed unconvinced. "You are in the middle of unknown territory, in a ship that is not meant for deep space operations."
"We'll be fine, Tala." Jidzi responded, reassuringly. "We haven't detected any ship nearby, and we are concealed by a nebula. Besides, if anyone would attack us, I'll let you know. I'm sure we can convince captain Kh'osh to come to our aid. He isn't one to back away from a potentially glorious battle."
"I suppose so." Tala nodded with a smirk. "Alright, I need to get back to work. Do let me know if you need any assistance. Keep the captain safe."
"I will." Jidzi responded with a reassuring smile, and the call was cut. She exhaled, leaning back in her chair, feeling her shoulders slump. "Twenty-three." She repeated. She wondered who was lost, a report that she was not looking forward to reading. She run a hand through her hair, slowly getting up from the chair, and moving towards the front of the cockpit, looking through the window into the shimmering, blue nebula. The lazy currents, moving its gasses around, forming gently shifting patterns were a stark contrast to Jidzi's thoughts. The situation she found herself in, now had a higher chance of turning grim. The prolonged stay away from the ship, in the middle of mostly uncharted territory could become dangerous very quickly. And if the captain lost control like before…
She shook her head, banishing the dark thoughts from her mind. She had taken the precautions she could, and would deal with the situations as they arose, as a Starfleet officer, and a friend to Eilis. She sighed, crossing her arms in front of her chest, as she stared out the window, focusing on the good sides of her predicament.
Not that she could think of many, besides the fact she would get to spend more time with Eilis, as friends. Throughout the years they managed to keep a close relationship, but perhaps not as close as Jidzi would have liked. There was still a lot she didn't know about her friend, and although their last few conversations had been enlightening, she felt guilty, that she didn't push for this information sooner. That perhaps if she had, they wouldn't have been in this situation now.
Once again she shook her head, exhaling a long sigh, banishing those thoughts from her mind. There was no reason to think that, it didn't help in the slightest. She instead focused her thoughts on finding a way to get the captain through this situation. Her mind started to analyze the previous days, moving through them bit by bit, trying to formulate a strategy.
She concluded that what worked best was keeping Eilis occupied, keeping her talking and her mind focused. That way, the pent up emotions had an outlet, pouring out of the woman in a somewhat controlled, constant stream, instead of volatile, dangerous outbursts.
She was consumed by her thoughts, barely registering the sound of the cockpit doors opening, the first footsteps inside finally snapping her attention. She turned to see Eilis there, looking somehow even more tired, and thoroughly disheveled. Her uniform jacket was missing, leaving only the red undershirt, tightly hugging her form. Jidzi immediately stepped forward, just in case, as the captain looked like she was about to fall over from exhaustion. "Eilis, you should be resting." The Trill spoke, her voice soft and filled with concern.
"I can't sleep." The captain retorted, her voice hushed and laced with tiredness, as she continued to waddle forward.
Jidzi took her arm gently, twisting her around and starting to guide her towards the back of the ship. Eilis didn't offer any resistance, presumably too tired to fully comprehend what was going on around her. "Have you even tried?" Jidzi said with a soft smile. "You look like you could fall asleep while standing."
"No." Eilis said, shaking her head vehemently. "I couldn't. I can't."
"Come on, let's get you to the bedroom and we'll see." As she lead the captain down the corridor, they paused at the bulkhead, Jidzi trying to gently guide them through the doorstep they had to step over, before Eilis suddenly dug her heels into the floor, refusing to go any further.
"No." The captain repeated, suddenly seeming more awake. "I'll stay awake until the Relentless comes back. Last time I slept I…" Her voice got stuck in her throat, as memories of having her fingers around Jidzi's neck came flooding back. She took a step back, almost tripping, but managing to keep herself upright with Jidzi's help, and by leaning on the wall. "I can't risk losing control again." She shook her head vigorously, both accentuating her point, and desperately trying to stay awake.
She felt a delicate touch on her cheek, as Jidzi gently cupped her face, and slowly guided her to look at the woman. The Trill smiled softly, her other hand grasping and squeezing Eilis's palm reassuringly. "Eilis, the Relentless was damaged, and they may not be here for a while." The captain felt her heart drop, tendrils of fear starting to crawl their way deeper through her mind. She tried to look away, and back off, but Jidzi's gentle touch kept her rooted in place. The woman repeated the gesture of turning Eilis's face towards her, and run her thumb affectionately over the captain's cheek. "But it will be fine. I know you can stay in control."
"What if I can't?" Eilis responded quietly, her voice weak. "What if…"
"Shhh." Jidzi hushed her, pulling her into an embrace. "You can. And nothing bad will happen. We will make it through this, together." She pulled away after a moment, a wide, reassuring smile on her face, as she looked the captain right in the eyes. "Now, you need to rest. So let's get you to bed, okay?"
"Okay." Eilis responded, barely a tone above a whisper. She let herself be led by Jidzi deeper into the ship, the words of comfort the Trill woman was saying, barely registering, and yet still having a deeply soothing effect on her.
And so another kind of emotions started to bubble towards the surface. Feelings of attraction and care that transcended friendship, always there, but never acknowledged. Those that almost broke free during their Academy days, but then were pushed down again through conflicts. In time of war that kind of bond threatened with even deeper pain, although whenever Eilis's mind went back to those, way too numerous, moments, when either of them were badly wounded, she was left with the lingering feeling that it would have been the unsaid that would haunt her. But there was never the time, never the place, to nurture those feelings into something more substantial. Now that peace was dawning over the galaxy, Eilis had ample time to look over her feelings. Too much time, and too many feelings, as it turned out.
And yet, amongst the turmoil that was going on in her head, there was a peaceful, calm oasis. It surrounded the person now walking next to her, guiding her gently, whispering soothing words, that helped calm the storm. The seemingly only supporting pillar, that stopped Eilis's mind from falling into the abyss below.
"...kay, Eilis?" The sound of her name, combined with the flow of calming words coming to a stop, being replaced by ones filled with concern, snapped the captain out of her trance. She blinked, trying to get her mind back into gear, back in the present.
"What?" She asked, clearly disoriented. Looking around, she noticed that they arrived in the main cabin, and were now standing in front of her bedroom's door.
"I asked if you were okay, you seemed very out of it." Jidzi said, her voice filled with genuine concern, and Eilis felt a pleasant tinge as the Trill's hand found its way to her shoulder, in a supportive gesture.
"Ah, yes." She gave the woman a small smile. "I was just thinking."
Jidzi returned the smile, and gave the captain's shoulder a reassuring squeeze. "Try to focus those thoughts on sleeping, hmm?"
Eilis couldn't help but let out a small chuckle. "I'll do my best."
They entered the bedroom, and Jidzi waited, as Eilis lazily got herself under the covers. "Alright, I'm going to head to the crew quarters. Wake me if you need anything, okay?" She said in a calm, caring tone.
"Okay." Eilis replied quietly, already starting to drift off to sleep, her mind now focused on the more pleasant thoughts.
Jidzi smiled at the reaction, retreating from the bedroom. She paused at the door, looking back at the still form of the captain. "Sweet dreams, Eilis." She said quietly. "Computer, lights."
As the door closed behind her, and the room was plunged into darkness, Eilis was already on the brink of consciousness. And for some reason, the last image that flashed before her mind as she drifted off to sleep, was one of Jidzi she saw earlier, the woman staring out of the cockpit windows, the shimmering light of the nebula making her beauty shine like the brightest of stars. A smile crept onto Eilis's face, as she let herself fall into the realm of dreams, that looked to be surprisingly pleasant.
