Enigma
My fingers drummed angrily against the wall behind me as I stared up at my ceiling. It was almost ten now and I had yet to leave my bed. A part of me was being lazy while another part of me was fearful that if I put my feet on the ground a vampire would attack my heels from under the bed. Vampire. Yes, the word was rolling off of my thoughts easily now. The dream had been so real and while it was just a figment of my imagination, it had confirmed what I'd wanted to believe all along. Alice was a vampire.
Show me the way to the loony bin. "Urgh," I groaned aloud, throwing myself upright so quickly that it made me dizzy. I knew it was stupid. I knew it was farfetched. But it was the only thing that was making sense, the only thing that was connecting all of the tricky dots Alice possessed. My mind had been swirling between encounters with the girl and Jacob's legend trying to make sure that I wasn't forgetting anything. Of course, Jacob had given me the abridged version of the legend so I didn't have much to go on except my vague memory of the Underworld films. I closed my eyes for a moment, listening downstairs for any movement. There was none which led me to believe that Charlie had already left for the Reservation. For a brief moment I contemplated heading down there as well and asking for more information on these 'cold ones.' But soon after that I disregarded it. That seemed a little bit too forward for me after just having been there last night.
Well, no matter what I decided to do I was going to have to get out of bed sooner or later. Childish as it was, I threw my upper half over the side of the bed and cautiously lifted up the dust ruffle. There was nothing there. Of course there wasn't. Alice was too cool to hide under a bed. She was more the type to hide right behind me. The idea sent chills down my back. As quickly as I could muster I turned around. She wasn't there either. I glanced at the closed closet door for just a brief moment before looking away and shaking my head. I groaned. I was getting pretty tired of these games. Most likely Alice was not here but back in her coffin sleeping.
I grimaced at that joke and took it back in my mind. Even though she had some stalker issues, I was getting a little rude. I chuckled. She could stalk me, but I couldn't make jokes about her. Looney bin again, I ask? It's not like it mattered all that much. Nothing made much sense these days. Briefly I thought of my home in Phoenix. Things seemed so much easier there in that big, hot city. Everything moved at its own pace and just flowed together well. I never really recalled worrying much about things. Now, in this lonely little town I didn't know fiction from non and friends from bloodsuckers. My back was getting stiff from lying in bed so I sat up and dared my feet to touch the carpet. Nothing happened just as I predicted. After stretching a bit I stood and walked around, feeling the bones in my feet pop as they were worked out.
I wanted to dig some dirt today. Not literally of course but I wanted to find more information on vampires and the legends of the Quileute's. I glanced over at the decrepit computer in the corner of my room. Charlie had mentioned having one a long time ago but by the looks of the thing I didn't have too much faith in it. Being a generation Y teen, I didn't think I could handle the dial-up internet so I threw that plan out the window. If it was Saturday then the local library was probably open. Yes, the library! And they must have at least one computer. Finally, a plan that might work. Smiling to myself I headed for the door. As I passed the closet I gave it one final look.
"If you're in there, Alice, come down and join me for breakfast," I half joked. Then I headed down the steps without waiting for a response from the door. Breakfast was plain again but also nice. It felt good to sit in the silent kitchen and just mull things over for a bit. I thought about the group of friends that I'd blown off over the course of the week. It was pretty rude of me. I wasn't really in a position to lose the new and only friends I had. I'd come up with an excuse for Monday and hope they believed me. I thought about Rosalie and the strange expression she held while talking about Alice. Being an only child, I obviously knew nothing about having a sister. But the look she possessed didn't seem all that much like sisterly concern. It was just…I couldn't place it. And what the hell was with that Edward guy? I did absolutely nothing to him. I reminisced of the rude way he grabbed my arms and suddenly became angry. I wouldn't call myself a feminist but I wasn't going to be an ignorant moron. In fact, I wasn't going to waste my time thinking about him.
Dropping Edward brought me to my last major thought: Alice's complete 180. That just seemed off. And she didn't even have very good reasoning for it. Sure, being a vampire thirsting after my blood was a good reason but honestly…. I shut my eyes, taking a bite of cereal. I was really trying my hardest to dismiss the vampire theory. It was nothing but an immature waste of time…no matter how much it made sense. Well, whatever was wrong with her, I sure wasn't going to find out sitting in the kitchen in my pajamas. So I stood and put my dishes in the sink before heading back upstairs. I passed the shower on the way to my room and stopped in front of it, deciding if I needed a shower today. Slowly, I passed my hand over my backside. It was still pretty tender although the backs of my knees hadn't been giving me trouble. I ran my hand slowly through my hair and discovered that it wasn't greasy and sniffed my arm. It still had the faintest hint of Irish Springs. I didn't need a shower today, thank god. Truth be told I was still a little wary of the damn thing. But it was no matter now.
I went into my room and changed my clothes, deciding to keep wearing my favorite shirt as it still had the smallest sample of Alice on it. Not to mention that it was proving to be quite the talisman or whatever against nightly visitors. Perhaps it was my lucky shirt as well. I finished getting ready and ran a brush through my hair before I thought I looked well enough to head out into public. On the way to the truck I was hit with the realization that I didn't really know where the library was. I knew that they had one because my father used to take me there when I visited long ago. Oh well, this town had about six blocks in its entirety; I'm sure I could find it.
And I did. It sat just a few blocks behind the high school. It was a short but long building that took up about half of a block. The buildings next to it were actually homes. It was a strange design that this town had. They seemed to just improvise everything. I frowned at the size of the building. It looked much bigger when I was five but now I was beginning to wonder whether they would have any of the information I was looking for or even a computer. But, it was worth a shot. I hopped out of the truck and slipped on the concrete. Luckily, the only damage that was done was to my pride as I caught myself on my beast of a truck. Shaking it off, I headed inside.
Two double doors led the way into the library and as I entered I saw that the information desk was straight ahead while the library broke out on either side of it. To the right looked like the children's section and I smiled as I remembered sitting on the little chairs, looking at pictures of books and trying desperately to read the words. To the left was the more adult section and as I walked closer I saw about six computers arranged against the wall. Victory! There didn't appear to be anyone at the information desk so I headed over to the sign in sheets on the computer. In fact, there didn't seem to be anyone here at all. For a minute I wondered if I'd just walked into a closed library. That seemed a bit farfetched given that the doors did open for me. But being in a library all alone, closed or not gave me an uncomfortable feeling of aloneness. After some precarious leaning, however, I finally noted a few library patrons and didn't feel so alone.
I grimaced at my handwriting as I wrote my name and the date down. It hadn't gotten any better since I berated it after seeing Alice's. Not that I'd been trying all that hard to perfect it. Sighing, I headed over to a computer and shook the mouse, turning it on. I pulled up the most convenient search engine and typed in 'vampire characteristics.' I blushed as the page loaded and looked over my shoulder. It felt awkward to be searching something so…preteen. I felt like one of those sad little gothic kids that had to believe in vampires simply to feel loved or something. But, hell, I already believed that there was an entire family of them at school so why not let the world know that Bella Swan was an epic douche bag with a vampire fetish. Yeah, that sounded catchy. The page loaded mere seconds later and after a brief contemplation, I forced myself to forget about my pride.
All of the pages I searched at the same generic characteristics of vampires. Pale, cold, hard, no reflection, fangs…it all seemed so unbelievable. Who was I kidding? It was unbelievable. I laughed softly to myself. Clearly this humidity had gotten to my head. And yet, I still hadn't convinced myself to turn away. I thought for sure the humidity comment would have sent me packing but no. No, I had yet to look up Jacob's legend. Looking behind me one last time, I searched the Quileute legend. Surprisingly, there were hardly any results. Most of the links were to some books I could buy on the topic. Five pages into the topics the search engine had brought up and I still had no luck on the legend. All I had was the stupid book. So much for the internet. Still hopeful, I wrote down the name of the book and the author on my hand. Even though I was going to ask, I knew already by the size of this library that they weren't going to have this book. That would be too easy, right? Perhaps I could convince Charlie to allow me on a trip to Port Angeles by myself. Not quite as satisfied as I hoped to be, I signed off of the computer and headed to the information desk.
There still wasn't a soul behind it as I reached the desk but I did notice one of those little attention getting bells. I dinged it softly, blushing when the noise rang loudly in the quiet room. Not four seconds later, someone came out of a door that led to an office or something. It was Angela. "Hi, Bella," she said politely, though I could tell by her stance she was a bit wary of me. I couldn't say I could blame her; I'd been acting like a total freak lately.
"Hey, Angela, how are you?"
"I'm fine, thanks. Bored. How are you feeling? You seemed…not well on Friday."
I blushed, scratching the side of my neck. What was I supposed to really tell her? Well, honestly, I didn't have to tell her anything. It's not like she could understand that I was being stalked by Alice Cullen much less believe it. But I could apologize. I was good at that. "Yeah, I'm sorry about that, Angela. I was just…out of sorts all week. You know…all week…of the month." Her eyes widened for a brief moment before she nodded understandingly.
"Oh, I see. It's no problem. We were just concerned is all. And for the record, Jessica's much worse on hers. Just be thankful you haven't seen it yet." She smiled and I couldn't help but return it. Normal, pedestrian…normalcy was really what I needed right now. Thank god for Angela if I haven't already. Apparently I'd been pondering for too long because Angela looked around a bit for shaking the mouse on her own computer. "Is there something you were looking for?" she asked.
"Oh, right," I answered, shaking my head just a bit. "I was wondering if you had this book, Quileute Legends of the Northwest by this guy whose name I can't pronounce?" I tilted my hand so that Angela could read the name. She tried for a few moments to pronounce before we both laughed and dropped it. She entered it into the computer and tapped her fingers. Apparently there system was slow or at least down.
"From what our slow system is bringing up it looks fairly new. I don't think we're going to have it but I can search and see if any other places have it for you."
"Thanks,"
"Yep, just like I thought, we don't have it. However it does look like the branch in Port Angeles does. Do you want the address?"
"Yeah that'd be great. Thanks."
Angela smiled, nodding her head as she wrote the address down on a sticky note for me. "You know," she said as she handed it to me, "Jessica and I are heading out to Port Angeles tomorrow. All of the dress stores stay open Sunday just for the Forks teens to look at prom dresses. You're welcome to come with us."
"Isn't prom, like, at the end of the year?"
Angela smiled. "We're a small town, Bella. Don't squash our moments."
I laughed before making a nervous expression. "Would Jessica be okay with me coming?" Angela laughed again before waving her hand.
"Don't worry about Jessica. She likes you, she does. She just sees you as a threat."
"A threat to what?"
"Bella, come on. You're new and not a nerd or ugly. Think about it." Even Angela's tone hinted at jealously though it wasn't as obvious as Jessica's. I blushed and looked down. I'd never been the most wanted girl…ever. And I couldn't imagine why anyone would want to be. It didn't make me feel hot or anything of the sort. Rather, I felt like a slut. I didn't like it. "Eric's pretty fond of you," Angela mentioned after a short pause. I couldn't help it, I smiled. Cute and normal little Angela was crushing on Eric. Quite the 'aw' moment if I did say so myself. However, I refrained from awing and instead shook my head.
"Eric's not my type, Angela. In fact, I'm perfectly content with being single. So, if you see Jessica before I do, tell her not to worry, okay?" Angela studied my face for a moment as if to see if I was telling the truth or not. But eventually she smiled again and nodded. Just as I was about to engage in some friendly conversation, something to my right caught my eye. I glanced over and noticed a pale, short woman. Alice, of course. Angela was watching her too. Judging from her expression it would appear that Alice didn't come here often if at all. Her back was turned to us and Angela and I both looked at each other quizzically.
"It would appear that the Cullens have taken an interest in you," Angela whispered, still looking at Alice. "Everyone was noticing that you'd spoken to practically all of them already. Most of us haven't even managed a word."
"Well, let's see if I can manage more than a word today," I said before heading over to her. I was like a woman on a mission. In an instant I'd forgotten all about Angela, Port Angeles or even the book. All I cared about now was Alice, and getting her to talk to me. She noticed me when I was about three feet away and she gave me a fleeting glance before heading deeper into the aisle of books. I followed her almost on her heels. It wasn't until we'd gone into the farthest corner of the library that she stopped. It was so sudden that I almost ran into her. Thankfully I didn't, though I almost toppled backwards at the sudden action. She turned around and grasped me firmly on the shoulder, steadying me.
"You are the clumsiest thing," she said wistfully, almost as if she'd forgotten I was here. She stared at her hand on my shoulder for a moment, her grip slowly loosening. It wasn't until she'd completely let go of me and let her hand fall to the side that she rubbed her eyes and looked at me. "Rosalie gave you the message, I assume?" she said so quickly that it threw me off.
"Huh? I-uh- I mean, yeah she gave me the message. I just—
"And was there something unclear about it?"
"No, I just-
"Then why are you here?"
"If you would let me finish, I might have an answer for you," I snapped, surprised at my own confidence. Alice gave a short nod, refusing to meet my eyes. She looked…tired. Not that she didn't always look tired but today it appeared to really be taking a toll on her. I took a deep breath. I didn't actually think I'd get this far with Alice today. I thought that as soon as she saw me she'd sprint out the door. There were tons of things that I wanted to say. Why she was stalking me, why she took my shirt, why she was distancing herself from me. Why the hell she was doing all of this to me. But as I looked up at her, it just didn't seem like the right time to bring all of it up. She looked so tired and…sad. "I just…wanted to make sure that you were okay. Rosalie mentioned you had problems of some sort and while she assured me that you were fine…. I just wanted to hear it from you." I blushed, looking down at my feet. I could hear Alice sigh and forced myself to look up.
"I'm fine," she answered, though she appeared to be looking strained. "Thanks for your…concern."
I nodded and her eyes met mind for the first time. And I realized as she looked at me that I'd missed her. It had just been two and a half days, and yet I missed her. I sounded like a mega freak and I knew it but for the time being I just didn't care. She shifted from one foot to the other and looked towards the door. She was planning to make an escape. I didn't want her to. I couldn't. "Hey, a few friends are going up to Port Angeles tomorrow to look for prom dresses. Want to come?"
Her brow furrowed for a moment. "Are you…asking me to prom?"
"What? No!" I blushed again, shaking my head. "I'm asking you to Port Angeles."
In spite of the tense mood, Alice relaxed a bit and let out an embarrassed laugh. "Sorry, Bella, I misheard." Then her face fell again and she looked away. She was really forcing the negativity. I could tell it was hard for her not to engage with me. So why didn't she? This wasn't some cruel 'hard to get' thing was it? If it was…it was working. But I didn't like it.
"I'm sorry, Bella. I just can't. In fact, I need to go. Nice talking to you."
Before I could form some sort of response, she brushed past me and quickened pace out of the aisles. It was stupid to follow her, so I waited until I heard the doors open and shut before I walked out. It felt like the walk of shame. Even Angela was looking at me sympathetically as I came over to her. "How'd that go?" she asked as I stepped in front of the desk.
"Not well," I answered honestly. But at least I gave it a shot, right? Angela smiled and nodded.
"You've got guts, Bella, to talk to a Cullen. That's for sure." We laughed at that and after exchanging some information on the trip and some more small talk I headed back to the truck.
Angela had mentioned that Newton's Sporting Goods was hiring. I would have preferred a job at the library but they weren't hiring, as it was never busy enough to have more than three staff members. But a job was a job and boy did I need one. I found it easily after following Angela's directions. It wasn't very big but had a big, flashy sign that looked a little out of place in the quaint town. The woman at the front counter, while very nice, kept giving me strange looks. After a brief conversation I realized that apparently this was Mike Newton's mother and also apparently, he'd been talking about me. I couldn't help but feel just a bit smug about this one. At least I had a job nipped in the bud. Even though Ms. Newton (she gave me her first name but I didn't remember it) assured me that I had the job, I was still required to fill out an application. Deciding to give it to her tomorrow, I took it with me, vowing to do an excellent job on it so as not to seem to lackadaisical with getting a job.
From there I headed to the grocery store. We'd run low on food again and I ended up making the mistake of heading to the market with an empty stomach. It took all of the money Renee had given me but now I could stock the cabinets, refrigerator and pantry properly and we wouldn't run out in two days. By the time we'd have to go back, Charlie could either front the bill or I'd have my first paycheck so everything seemed to be working out. I headed home after that, eager to look at a fully stocked kitchen. Domestic goddess, huh?
It was about two and a half hours after I stocked the kitchen that Charlie returned. He was a bit dirty and the bottoms of his pants were soaking wet but the smile on his face was undeniable. "Hey, Bella! How was your day?" he asked excitedly, taking off his rain boots and putting up his things.
"It was fine," I answered, throwing the book I was reading on the coffee table and standing up to greet him. "It looks like you had fun." I gestured toward his smile and he nodded.
"I have a surprise for you, Bella. I'm cooking dinner tonight. You do like fish, don't you?"
"Yeah, of course. I went to the store today so you should have all the fixings."
"Oh you shouldn't have done that, Bells. I can do the grocery shopping. Did you spend your own money?"
"Yeah, but it was no problem."
"I'll pay you back then. But look at what I caught today!" He gestured towards his cooler and opened it, lifting quite a large fish from inside. I didn't know fish lingo but it looked to be a little over a foot and a half long and healthy looking and that worked for me; even though it was kind of gross to look at and I couldn't help but notice it was dripping on the floor.
"Wow, Dad that is a huge fish." His smile grew wider as he nodded approvingly at it.
"Yeah, and it's already gutted and everything. I'll fry it up for us. It won't be as good as Billy's but you know it can't be as good as Billy's."
I laughed, remembering the fish fry from the evening before. Charlie laughed as well and invited me into the kitchen to help on deciding and making a side dish or two. I chose a salad and potatoes after finding this nifty packet for mashed potatoes that only requires water at the store. While that was in the microwave I worked on cutting some vegetables for a salad. Charlie had breaded the fish, dusted them with a few seasonings he wouldn't tell me about and was now frying them in a pan. We made dinner silently and yet it was really pleasant. My father seemed so excited about his fish and it was just nice to see him so focused on it. It was nice to just see him.
Small talk finally formed around dinner after I told Charlie that his fish fry was better than Billy's. He denied it adamantly and we argued humorously for awhile. When he was almost finished I thought it best to bring up Port Angeles. "Hey, Dad, you know Angela Weber?"
"I know of her, yeah."
"Well, she invited me to Port Angeles with her tomorrow for the day. I was wondering if I could go?"
"When are you leaving?"
"At around ten I think. We're planning on having dinner there and I need to stop at the library."
"The library…have you tried the one we have here?"
"Yeah I went there today but they didn't have the book I'm looking for. Quileute Legends of the Northwest is the book. Have you heard of it?"
"No, I can't say I have. Well, I guess that's fine. And what time do you think you'll be home?"
"Angela said nine or ten at the latest."
"Sure, Bells, go and have a good time."
"Thanks, Dad! Cleanup is on me," I said as I rose from my chair to hug him again. He patted my arm and I took his plate to wash the dishes in complacency. For some reason, I thought that this book was going to have all of the answers. I thought that something in it would tell me exactly what Alice was, how to win her back as a friend and how to generally stop all of this mystery and drama. It wasn't my forte and I wanted to keep it that way. Thinking of this book with seemingly all of the answers was really calming my mind. I was so calm, in fact, that when I went to bed that night, I didn't bother locking my windows.
The first thing I noticed when I woke up was that I woke up to the alarm. I didn't wake up in the middle of the night nor did I wake up from a dream. I just woke up. Awesome! I smiled to myself as I bolted out of bed and headed to my closet. I felt like a woman reborn and I loved it. I wasn't paranoid or nervous or anything. I was just girl going on a road trip with my normal friends. It was…nice.
I got ready quickly, even working up enough confidence to take a shower, and headed downstairs for breakfast. Charlie was sitting in the kitchen as I entered, eating the leftover fish. I bid him good morning and he did the same. He was in the middle of a bite but appeared to be working it down quickly to say something. I poured myself a glass of milk and waited for him to speak. Finally he got it down and he stood, reaching into his wallet. "How much was the bill for the groceries yesterday, Bella?" I blushed, shaking my head.
"Oh, don't worry about it, Dad, I got it covered."
"How much was the bill?"
"Dad, really –
"Bells, the bill?" He was giving me a fatherly look, one that I hadn't seen yet. But even though I hadn't seen it before, I knew it was telling me to stop pushing it.
"About $175.00," I answered shortly, looking down. Charlie nodded and opened his wallet. I held out my hand as he offered it to me and saw that he'd given me two one hundred dollar bills. "Thanks, Dad," I said again, blushing. He nodded and gave me a soft smile.
"I know all about Port Angeles on Sundays. I hope that'll help you pick out a real pretty dress."
I smiled and hugged him. He returned it and I felt him jump as he pulled away, as if he remembered something. "Say, what was the title of that book you mentioned yesterday?" I told him and he smiled. "I've got another surprise then for you." He headed out into the living room and motioned for me to follow. He led me to an old bookshelf that sat kind of off to the side in the room. He picked up a brand new looking book and handed it to me. It was the novel I'd been searching for. I looked up at Charlie and he shrugged.
"I just saw it sitting there this morning when I was watching the weather. I guessed Jacob or Billy left it over here. They bring books over sometimes about legends. It's so I can tell good stories to the kids." He smiled and I returned it.
"Thanks, Dad! This saves me a trip to the library and money."
"Thought you'd like it, Bells. Now, go in there and get some breakfast before your friends get here."
I nodded and followed my father back into the kitchen. I was eager for breakfast, eager for this road trip, (even if it was dress shopping) and I was eager to finally solve this enigma that was Alice Cullen.
