Discovery

Bella tucked a lock of hair behind her ear, her teeth biting into the soft flesh of her lip. Edward caught his breath. I want you. She regarded her test with a pained resignation, tapping her pencil against her palm as she considered the answer to question 8. Edward was long finished filling in the answers on his own test. He'd even tried to write slowly. Now he watched Bella surreptitiously from the cover of his lashes. Her skin glowed with honey warmth in the pale light from the window. Her hair was touched with long streaks of light, shining and soft. Edward's fingers itched to touch it. Touch her. God above, I want you, Bella.

Bella leaned forward, erasing her answer and rewriting it. She nodded to herself and closed her test booklet, blowing out a slow breath. She peeked over at Edward and smiled when she saw him watching her, averting her eyes quickly so as not to alert the teacher. Her heartbeat sped and Edward knew he couldn't wait much longer. Her scent assaulted him, her warmth and softness beckoning like a sunny day. Bella's cheeks flushed. What are you thinking? he lamented. As always her silent mind drove him crazy.

Bella shifted, crossing her legs and turning in her chair so she could see him without turning her head. A faint smile played on her lips. Those lips... The familiar gleam in her eyes told Edward that her thoughts were aligned with his. But we're at school. We can't, not here. He sighed, wholly frustrated, his stone body aching. He could feel Bella's excitement, her body shifting from warm to fevered, her pulse hammering in her slender neck. Edward clenched his teeth, trying to get a hold of himself. Ever since we started all this 'practicing' I can't think about anything else. I want her so much.

After what seemed like an eternity, the bell finally rang their freedom. Bella scooped up her bag and her test and stood, reaching for Edward's hand. Oh, god, he thought, shivering, as her heat invaded him. He followed her, helpless, blind with desire as she walked to the teacher's desk, deposited her test and turned for the door. Only belatedly did Edward remember to turn in his own test. He followed Bella out of the class room, pulled by her inescapable scent and the icy shivers that raced under his skin. It was lunch hour, thank god, and Bella strode calmly out of the school and into the parking lot, making for Edward's car. Strictly speaking, they weren't allowed to leave the school during lunch, but Edward suspected that Bella didn't particularly care about that at the moment.

He drove them, a little too fast, out of town and into the surrounding forest, down a little road on the outskirts of town that no one was likely to use at that time of day. Edward pulled off the road and parked, hiding the car in the trees. He shut off the engine and sat without moving for a moment, trying to control himself. For once it wasn't the monster that threatened to overwhelm him, it was the man. It was his overpowering need to touch her, to kiss and taste every inch of her ivory skin, to give himself to her. He wanted to lose himself in her succulence, lose the monster and the man.

Edward closed his eyes and exhaled slowly as Bella's hand touched his icy cheek, her heat intoxicating. She caressed him, his neck, his throat, finally tangling in the hair at the nape of his neck. She leaned in close, kissing his skin, her lips like a blessed fire on him. A ragged breath escaped his lips and Bella sighed, her breath warm against his skin. She flung her leg over him, straddling him, her lips a balm of soft heat on his throat. Edward fumbled with the lever, pushing the seat back as far as it would go to give her room. She pushed against him regardless, her body hot and demanding.

"Bella," Edward whispered. "Love." At a loss, he merely tipped his head back and savored her attentions, his hands winding up her thighs, squeezing her hard against him. Oh, Bella. Yes! Please, don't stop. His breathing spiked as Bella licked and kissed his skin, her teeth nibbling him softly. Her body pulsed with desire, her scent so sweet and sharp, her mouth irresistible. Edward wrapped his arms around her, tangling in her fragrant dark hair, pulling her warmth into him. His mouth found hers, devouring, and he let himself drown in her softness, drinking in her sweetness. Bella returned his kiss with urgent lips, her hands finding the buttons on his shirt. Oh, god!

"Edward," she whimpered into his lips. "I want," she hesitated. "To taste you." Her tongue drew a fiery line across his sealed lips, probing. No, I can't. Edward had never allowed himself to open his mouth when he kissed Bella. He couldn't let her in. He was too afraid of the damage his lethal teeth would do to her. He moaned softly, pulling his lips away from hers with considerable effort.

"Bella, we can't," he said miserably. "I'll cut you." He drew one chill finger across her lower lip, enjoying the fullness as he spoke. Bella shivered, leaning into him again, her body encouraging his. Ah, please.

"You won't. We'll be careful." She was so lovely, her warm eyes pleading, burning with desire. I want to but… He leaned his forehead against hers and sighed.

"Bella, love, you aren't really so good at careful when we're, um... together," he said softly. Bella lifted her head and looked at Edward. At first he could see her irritation. Then that shifted into fierce determination and he sighed again, closing his eyes. Please, let's not fight.

"I can be good. I will be good. I promise." She said it with a conviction he hadn't seen in her before. He knew she was selfless, good, putting others before herself, but this strength was new. I love you so much. Maybe I can do it. Edward reached up and slowly cupped her face, searching her eyes. She didn't flinch from his gaze, didn't hide from him. He found no trace of fear in her, though he hadn't expected to. My Bella… Edward braced himself. Alright.

"Hold still, please," he pleaded. Slowly, so slowly, he brought his lips to hers, kissing her softly. All the urgency from before was gone now, only careful sweetness remained. Bella held very still, resting her hands on his stony chest. It felt warm and good, soothing. Her lips moved with his, slowly, softly. At last, Edward parted his lips, gently pushing his cold tongue into her mouth. Oh, god! He shuddered. Her mouth was so hot and soft, velvety, and she tasted divine; spicy and delicious. He kissed her harder, without thinking, pulling her into him, drinking her in. Bella wrapped her arms around his neck, returning his kiss with growing passion, pushing her tongue past his, into his mouth, probing him. He let her, savoring the incredible feeling of her warm spice invading his mouth, his body. His breath came faster, his hands insistent and too tight on her curves as he hugged her to him. Stop! I have to stop! I can't let myself hurt you.

Still, he couldn't tear himself away. Bella took him, her mouth demanding, her body, warm and soft and unbearably sweet, moving against him, pressed into his cold planes, thawing him. Melting him. Dissolving his control. She drew him into her, and he wanted nothing more than to give himself over to her entirely.

You smell so good, he thought, his mind muddled, throat burning with insatiable thirst. Too good. It would be so easy to nick the fragile flesh of her lip, her mouth, taste just a few precious drops of her sweet, sweet blood. The fire in his throat surged, eroding his control even further. No! God, no! Still, he couldn't stop himself.

As the venom started to fill his mouth and his body readied for attack he flinched away, pulling Bella from him and clamping his mouth into a hard line. He didn't breath, didn't dare. He was frozen, his mind a blank expanse of panic and fear. Edward stared at Bella without seeing her. Through the haze he knew only one thing: I have to get away from here.

In one swift movement Edward shifted Bella back into her seat and fled the car, running as fast as he could, putting as much distance between himself and Bella as possible. After 20 miles or so he let himself breath again, the clean air clearing his mind. The burn in his throat eased as Bella's scent faded. Oh god, Edward thought, disgusted. What have I done? I should never have let that happen. I'm so weak, he berated himself. But, I want her so much. It isn't fair.

Edward slowed, halting in a small grove, dropping to his haunches. He sat back on his heels, raising his hands and scrubbing at his face. Why can't she just smell like any other human to me? He wondered. He remembered that first time he'd scented her in Biology, when he'd almost killed her, destroyed everything he and his family had worked for. He remembered with painful accuracy just how much she had appealed to him.

Remembered, and then looked up with a start.

She does smell like any other human to me, Edward realized, astounded. He compared his recollection of that first time with what he'd just experienced in the car, just to be sure. There was no doubt.

Amazing. Fantastic!

Edward thought it through, elated, fully examining all his memories of how Bella smelled to him from before he'd left up to now. It was true. She really didn't have the same allure as before. Ever since he'd come back from that unfathomable blackness of believing that she was dead, her scent had had no more impact on him than any other human's, he'd only thought it had. He'd never really thought about it, expecting it to be the same. Edward laughed out loud.

Of course, Bella was still human and her scent was still tempting. To be fair, it was probably more tempting than some random human's would be. He was in love with her. That made her all the more desirable to him, blood and all. Still, it was a comfort to know. He could resist simple thirst, he had lots of practice with that. And with this new realization it would be easier to resist. Easier to be around her. To have her. Bella…

Edward trembled as desire came flooding back. Then he stopped, chilled. Poor Bella, I just left her! She must feel terrible. Why am I so selfish? He was running almost before he realized it.

When he reached the car a few moments later Bella was still sitting in the passenger seat. When she saw him, she wiped her eyes and tried to act like she hadn't just been crying. Ah, no… Edward opened her door and scooped her into his arms, holding her close as he stood.

"Bella, I'm so sorry, love. I'm so sorry," he cooed to her, rocking her as she sniffed into his chest.

"You left. I..." Bella trailed off, wiping her eyes again. Edward flinched at the hurt in her voice.

"I know. I'm sorry, love, truly. Please, forgive me." Please. He wanted to explain his realization, but the time wasn't right. He had to make up for hurting her. Again. Bella nodded.

"I'm sorry too," she whispered. Edward was surprised.

"What could you possibly have to be sorry for, love?" he wondered.

"I broke my promise to be good." Bella huddled against him, tucking her chin in, though she didn't cry anymore. Edward breathed a little easier. In one corner of his mind he analyzed Bella's scent as he breathed her in, gaging his reaction, his thirst. It was definitely less than it had been in the beginning.

"No, love. It was my fault. I was weak. I broke my promise, too." Edward set her on the hood of his car so he could lift her chin. "I promised myself I'd never hurt you again and I have. I'm so sorry, Bella." He saw the echo of pain in her eyes, in her face, the way she held herself, and it pierced his heart. How could I have done this? I'm so loathsome. "I know," he said softly, sadly. "That whenever I leave, even to hunt, it feels like it did when I went away. It does for me too. But I'm here, Bella. I'm here and I will never leave you again. I swear." Edward paused. "Unless you ask me to go," he whispered.

"Never." Bella's answering whisper was fervent, her eyes downcast. Edward pulled her closer, nuzzling her hair.

"I love you, Bella," he said simply. He pulled away slightly to cup her face, not moving until she looked at him. Her eyes shone with tears, a deep sadness there. Ah, Bella. Please don't hurt. I can't bear to see you hurt. He leaned in and kissed her softly, slowly. It was a sacrament, intimate and intense. Slow and lingering. When Edward finally pulled away he was breathless. Not from a torrent of hot desire, but from the stunning enormity of their love. Bella smiled up at him, but her eyes were still troubled, a little crease between her them.

"What is it, love?" Edward asked, his hands still curled around her face, his thumb tracing her cheekbone. Her skin was so soft. Bella swallowed but didn't answer right away. She looked down again and her lip caught between her teeth. Want. He dropped his hands to her shoulders, waiting.

"It's silly." she whispered, embarrassed. "Sometimes it feels," she took a deep breath, steadying herself. "Like maybe you don't want me... that way. Like, you're sort of just going through the motions. For me." She didn't meet his eyes as she spoke, but Edward could hear the hurt in her voice, the shame. Edward was appalled. How can you think that?

"Bella." His voice was hard, stern. Edward tried to modulate it. "That's completely ridiculous!" Bella flinched and Edward wanted to kick himself. This isn't helping. He softened his voice even further, lifting her chin with one finger, forcing her to meet his gaze. "Of course I want you that way," he said softly. You beautiful, silly thing. "I want you so much it hurts." He crushed his mouth to hers again, showing her his need, his hands pressing her soft frame into his stone body, lifting her off the car. Bella responded eagerly, her urgency suddenly as great as his own, her hands tangling in his hair, pulling him down to her, her legs closing around his hips, ankles locked. She moaned as Edward opened his mouth again, letting their tongues dance together. Edward knew he could do this now, knew he was safe. He could resist her scent. It was almost easy.

Secure in that knowledge, Edward let himself go, losing himself in her softness, her heat infusing him. He turned, sitting down where Bella had been and drew his hands down her back, cupping her curves and pulling her against his aching body. His breath caught as icy fire raced through his veins and concentrated; a throbbing swell in his jeans. Oh, yes, Bella, I want you. Badly.

"Bella!" he cried, panting. She arched her back, her breasts soft and supple against his chest. Bella moaned, dropping her head to the side, exposing her neck to him. Edward luxuriated in her, his lips traveling down her jaw, her neck, tasting the sweet honey of her skin. He sighed deeply, enjoying the intoxicating bouquet of her scent, his tongue tingling as it trailed over her silken skin. She was divine.

Edward let himself touch her, hands eager on her small frame as he caressed her. He slid his hands down the outside of her thighs, slowly, then back up the inside, as far as he dared. Oh, Bella, I want your flower. I want to be inside you, he thought desperately. I need to be inside you. He brought his hands up her sides again, playing in her hair, his cold lips never leaving her skin. Bella shivered fiercely, breathing hard against him, her nails raking down his back. The fire of her touch was like nothing else. It blinded him to everything but her, her softness, her heat. The smell of her arousal, the insistent, aching bulge she was pressed up against.

"Ah! Bella!" Edward gasped, his voice ragged, strained. "I want you," he whimpered, his lips against hers, "I need you." Bella sighed, her breathing uneven.

"You know I want you," she breathed, her hands fumbling with his shirt buttons. One by one, she freed his marble skin. Edward yanked the shirt off, letting Bella's warm hands scorch him.

"Oh, god. Bella, please…" He squirmed under the unbearable sweetness of her touch, her nails carving tiny lines into the marble of his chest. Edward was losing control and he liked it. He loved Bella's hands on him, eager and warm. He loved how well they fit together, how she was pressed into him, her own fiery center pressed into his. Edward bit down on his own lip, savoring the sharp line of his teeth, the small pain sharpening his pleasure.

Yet, there was a small corner of his mind that kept telling him to stop. That there was a reason to stop. A good reason.

I don't want to hurt you, it whispered. I can't hurt you. I can't let that happen. Edward knew he needed to stop, that he wouldn't be able to if he let this go on much longer. He knew the need in his fingers would grip her too hard, crush her fragile bones. Still, it was nearly impossible to pull himself away from her. In light of their recent conversation, he knew he needed to be sensitive about his retreat.

Breathing hard, using the lightest pressure he could, Edward pressed Bella's warm, delicious body away from him. An inch. Two inches. Her hands were warm on his chest, tracing the lines of his muscles, sending aching tremors through his body. Ah, Bella... Edward cupped Bella's face again, gently, and kissed her tenderly, keeping the distance between them. It was hard not to crush her to him. Hard to use a gentle pressure as he held her. Maddening.

Slowly, the fire dimmed, the fierce rush of desire subsiding into a comfortable warmth. Bella's breathing slowed, her lips soft under his, relaxed and languid when he finally ended their kiss. He kept his hand on her cheek and gazed into her shining eyes, she into his. He didn't know what she found in his. A monster? A man? Her eyes were boundless, deep. Full of love. In her eyes he found acceptance, he found his humanity; his soul. He thought, in time, if she would let him, he might even find his salvation. Edward wrapped his arms around her again, holding her close, bowing his head over hers. He held her for several long minutes before he was able to let her go.

"We should probably get back," he said at last. Though I really don't want to. Bella sighed her assent and he lifted her down from her perch, steadying her.

As they drove back to school, hand in hand, Bella was quiet. Edward wondered for the millionth time what she was thinking. He waited, hoping. Finally, as they pulled into a parking space, Bella sighed, looking over at him.

"Ok. I believe you," she admitted. Edward couldn't contain his huge smile.

"Finally! You're the only thing I want, Bella. You're everything to me. Everything." He hadn't really meant to be so vehement, but he needed her to know, to understand. His feelings were so strong.

"Then why do you always pull away?" Her lip pushed out in a little pout. Sinful. Delightful.

"Bella," he turned her hand over his his, gently tracing the fine network of veins latticing her thin skin. "I don't want to hurt you. See, when I get, um, excited," he said uncomfortably, "I lose control. I can't manage my strength as well. I could crush you so easily." The last part came out in a pained whisper. He closed his eyes against the thought. It hurt to even ponder it.

After a moment, a warm finger soothed the crease between his eyes, caressed his cheek. Bella leaned against his shoulder, her head pressed to his neck.

"I'm sorry, Edward. I didn't realize it was like that. I should have, I guess. That's how I feel too. Like I can't really control myself." She paused. "It's kind of miraculous, actually." She added wistfully. Edward chuckled in spite of himself, remembering the freedom of abandon.

"It is, isn't it?" he agreed with a smile. It's really quite miraculous. Bella took a breath and blew it out hard, frowning.

"To class?" she asked, wholly unenthused.

"To class," Edward replied, grinning, resigned.

As they walked, Edward thought about everything they'd discovered about each other. Insecurities, fears, delusions. He smiled. We can do this, he thought confidently. He could feel her small, warm body walking beside him. So precious. So vital to his existence. My Bella. He stopped her in the hall, a hand curved around her hip. When she turned to him, a question in her eyes, he stopped her mouth with a quick kiss.

"I love you. I want you," he said under his breath. "Never forget." He traced the line of her cheek softly, slowly, then dropped his hand and steered her to class.