Maureen Johnson, age two, is finger painting with her babysitter. Susan opens a pot of gold sparkles. Thrilled, Maureen dumps it over her head.

Maureen, age four, dons a red cape and runs around her kindergarten class singing 'Do-Re-Mi' from The Sound of Music. She tries to force the other children to join her, but she is disappointed when none of them know the song.

Maureen, age seven, plays the part of a bully's victim in her class play. When it comes time to perform in front of the entire school, Maureen strays from the script. She hates being the powerless character. She throws a hard punch and suddenly she's classified as a 'problem child'.

Maureen, age nine, starts taking drama classes at a real theatre school. After only one lesson, the teacher shakes her head and tells Maureen that she should be the one teaching the class.

Maureen, age twelve, belts out 'Nothing' from A Chorus Line at the school talent show. She gets in trouble for singing the word 'bullshit'.

Maureen, age thirteen, goes out with a boy for the first time.

Maureen, age fourteen, cheats on a boy for the first time.

Maureen, age sixteen, takes a vacation with her parents. She manages to chat up the pool boy into getting her a margarita, even though she's still too young.

Maureen, age eighteen, is voted Most Scandalous by her graduating class. She takes it as a compliment and hangs the certificate on her dorm room wall at NYU.

Maureen, age twenty-two, plays Musetta in a community center production of La Boheme. She loves the role as if she were born to play it.

Maureen, age twenty-three, moves in with her new boyfriend. Although he's sweet, honest, artistic and cute-in-a-dorky-way, Maureen can't help but compare him to her childhood dog.

Maureen, age twenty-four, is done with puppies and moves on to pussies.


The thing I like best about Maureen's life (in this portrayal) is that some of the events are modeled after my life: Age four, my musical theatre debut was running around in a cape, singing from The Sound of Music. Age seven (though I' never actually punched anyone) and age twelve are also based on me.

Seven down, one to go! Reviews get it up faster *hint hint*.