Chapter 7 Struggle
"Dreaming dove shed its tears,
Strangled cries reaching empty ears,
The moon shined on the battered soul
Fighting the changing tide taking toll."
- MThompson
Hermione was fiercely pacing back and in forth in front of Severus in the lab he watched as she rolled her shoulders and rubbed at her temples. He briefly wondered that if she was in her cat form it would be hilarious to watch but decided that perhaps now was not the time to share this idea with her.
"I cannot do it. I just cannot. How could have ever thought… it's impossible… Way to go Hermione… had to be all responsible and use your brain…"
"NeeNee." Severus called
"What was I thinking… it's impossible…? I cannot…" She continued ranting mindlessly but when one of her outburst resulted in her almost knocking over a steaming cauldron Severus got up.
"NeeNee…" He stilled her pacing and the action directed her attention solely to him.
"You and I both know that that big soft heart of yours is what got you into all of this. Your optimism, you. I would question you more if you hadn't." He spoke gently to her.
Hermione looked at his gaze for one more second before tearing away. She took a couple deep breaths facing away from him.
"Yea, well I was just plain stupid Rus. Gryffindor through and through." She has sobbed burying her face in her hands.
Severus slowly made his way towards her, gently lifting her face to meet his gaze.
" Stupid is not a word I would ever use for someone so brilliant that she outshines anyone in the room. NeeNee, you do not see the light in your eyes nor do you notice the difference you make in any of our lives. I would never trade this Gryffindor for anything. This Gryffindor saved this worthless Snake from the pits of hell." She pulled away not wanting to believe his words, he was just trying to make her feel better and dammit she wanted to sob. Severus was relentless in his task and even as she transformed he picked her up preventing her from running away. She meowed in protest as he lifted her into his arms. "You…" Severus continued as he stroked her soothingly, "my wonderful little lioness saved this soul because of who you are, or don't you remember the bat of the dungeons." As he tapered off his speech, which even to his ears sounded particularly desperate, memories flooded him.
It was thankfully warm in the Gryffindor common room. The cozy fire illuminated the celebrations of the recent Quidditch win of Ravenclaw versus Gryffindor. There were bottles and bottles of butterbeer passed around, cheers and reenactments by the most dedicated of fans, making the rest laugh until they could not breathe properly. Hermione who had been reading for transfiguration, had been inelegantly dragged over to the center of the lively celebration after Harry had grabbed the book she had been focusing on and thrown it somewhere behind him. Before she could lecture him on how he should respect books and treat them properly, Ron had managed to lift her in a fireman's hold, making her shriek and parade her around in excitement telling her she needed to be having fun and forget study for once. Putting her down, she attempted to look strict but at the sight of the sheepish grin coming from her two best friends she laughed and decided it was time for a break, at least for a little while.
Severus slipped in the mud again, only making his anger bubble more viciously as he made his way, abashedly clumsily, to the castle. It was a slow pace as his muscles would not permit anything else and the worse was still to come. The pouring rain chilled him to the bones and the walk up to the castle seemed to never shorten as he trekked his way there.
Hermione starred at the fire not slowly dying in the hearth. The night's festivities now over after most had trekked their ways to bed, she smiled sadly. Sighing she lifted herself from the comfort of the worn armchair she had claimed, in order to make her way to bed. Before she could make her way upstairs she saw her book near the third step and bent down with a rolling of her eyes remembering Harry's earlier antics. She stared at the cover for a while. There was nothing specific but just the plain detail fascinated her. The leather had a delicate patterns embossed, that dramatically changed from complex to simple haphazardly all around it. She was pulled away from her musing at sound of a meow and found that Crookshanks, the great orange fur ball that he was, was perched at the top of the stars starring back at her. It seemed he wanted to go to bed like everyone else. She found though that as she approached a window a few steps further up that a movement outside caught her eye. She almost dismissed it as just a flying owl but as she focused her sight more she saw a black mas moving quite slowly towards the castle. Then as if the castle knew, which some part of her assumed it did actually, the window grew larger. She watched as the mass stubled but just as she decided to alert the headmaster light flooded the figure as the doors of the Great Hall opened as she watched said headmaster, Professor McGonagall and Hagrid race towards it. She was shocked when instead of spells being cast back and forth Hagrid immediately lifted the man into his hold and raced back to the castle. In that moment she knew exactly who it was and she rushed from her perch on the window and ran to the hospital wing.
"Professor!" Hermione exclaimed as she watched her Potion's professor writhed on the bed even against Hagrid's firm hold which later she would think was doing more harm than good.
"Miss Granger!" McGonagall protested. " what in the world are you doing up at this hour and in the corridors!"
Hermione thought of apologizing, but the drive in her to help was winning the battle.
"I want to help Professor." McGonagall was about to protest further when Professor Dumbledore interceded," Minerva let her, if she so wishes." Professor McGonagall made a pinched face but remained silent. Professor Snape was still writhing around but no matter what Madame Pomfrey did nothing seemed to change. Hermione braced herself for what she was about to do. This man would not take kindly to what she was about to do. Stepping closer she brought her wand and cast her spell. Then all went black.
Hermione woke up to shouts that were making her head pound. She groaned as she turned her form to rest on its back before slowly opening her eyes to the brightness of the room.
"Well Miss Granger has decided to grace us with her presence once more" Snapped Professor Snape from the bed next to hers. She flinched at his biting tone and hesitantly brought her gaze to the people now surrounding her bed.
"Miss Granger!" Madame Pomfrey exclaimed, " you are never to use that spell again, what did you think you would solve child by giving me two patients to look after instead of one. Honestly!" Professor McGonagall sniffed as insulted and left and the Headmaster graced her with a gentle smile before departing. Although grateful of being spared further lecturing, when she heard a throat clear next to hear she thought maybe this particular fate was worse.
"You are never to do what you did again, is that understood." He bit at her harshly.
Hermione ignored his comment as she tied her shoes and began t leave. She stopped just after a few steps as he questioned curiously, "why?"
She turned back starring at the man before answering, "you."
It was not the last time she used the spell. In fact every time she could figure out that he was in the hospital writhing or injured she snuck in and every morning he asked why, the answer never changed. It frustrated him immensely. It had taken a couple years but she had wormed her way into his life quite completely and now , he could not picture his life without her. It had been her Gryffindor heart but sometimes he wondered if it was just plainly Hermione. She was so brave and strong the tears now disconcerted him more than anything. Something had to change, but what.
