Chapter 7: Emptiness
A/N: I am really excited about how this story is coming along. I see that there have been well over 700 hits, and people have added it as an alert and as a favorite. Thank you guys so much! And for those that reviewed, thank you. I have read a majority of yall's stories and it really means a lot that you think that this story is good. Well you know the drill. Read and Review!
A/N: I'm being dragged to Austin this weekend with my boyfriend for his quad race, so I might not be able to update. I have 10 chapters written and I have been wanting to only put up one a day so that you don't have to wait forever while I write new chapters. But if you want me to put up Chapter's 8 and 9 today, REVIEW! :)
I was officially lost. My roommate was being coddled by Pogue and Caleb, and then she freaked out by the fact that they wanted her to see Reid and Tyler. I had never heard of her. What the hell is going on? She dated Tyler? Why were they so upset when she left? I don't remember her. I watched as she walked away with Skylar, and she turned back to wink at me. The boys continued to watch her as she decided to change the direction toward the woods. Well, I wonder what they are going to do. I still had so many unanswered questions. After she was out of earshot, I couldn't hold it in anymore.
"So what the hell was THAT?" I yelled motioning toward Elizabeth my eyes moving from Pogue, Caleb, then to Kate. Sarah nodded in agreement, wanting to know what just happened.
We got our drinks and walked over to a secluded area and sat down on the beach in front of the water.
Caleb sighed, bringing Sarah close into his side. Pogue sat behind Kate hugging her closely as she sat in front of him. I was off to the side, ready to hit someone for not talking.
"Her name is Elizabeth Worthington, and she was born and raised here along with our families." Pogue began trailing off somewhat as if he really didn't want to rehash the situation.
Caleb decided to take over, "She was the one girl that we could tell anything to, kind of like you, Bailey." He looked at me. "But THAT girl, the one that we met tonight, that apparently is very open about her sexuality and carefree, was not the girl that left here." He paused as if trying to take it all in, "Don't get me wrong, she is still her, but she has changed dramatically. She used to be shorter with less curves. She had naturally platinum blonde hair. She was pale, kind of like Reid, and actually you could have thought of them as twins for their physical similarities. She used to be self-conscious and reserved, but we loved her. The summer before our freshman year, she and Tyler started dating. He was really in love with her. That January, her parents told her that they were getting a divorce, and she was leaving with her mom to go to Texas."
Caleb finally took a breath and continued, "The week before she left, she kind of stopped talking to anyone except Tyler. She wouldn't answer any of our phone calls. She shut all three of us out, but she had grown distant from Tyler, too. The night before she left, Tyler called me crying and told me of the huge fight that they had where she apparently wanted to take their relationship to the next level, and when he said he wasn't ready she went off on him and told him to get the hell out, and she was never going to see him again, and there was no point in pretending that they were going to be together forever when he didn't want her physically then." My heart felt for Tyler, but also for Elizabeth. Tyler was a great guy and he had the right to refuse, to try and be a gentleman like always, but all she wanted was to consummate their love and being a girl, I understand how it feels to be rejected.
"She didn't say anything to anyone when she left. She and Reid were really close. When her parents fought, she always stayed with him. He was her main best friend. I think that he had feelings for her though, now that I think about it, but she chose Tyler, and I think that is what killed him. He was a wreck when she left, and that's when he began the whole playboy thing; he quit dating girls and just began using them. I think something else went down though, but he never said anything about it. When I bring it up, he threatens to kick my ass!" Pogue finished. Well that explains a lot.
"So I take it that is why she doesn't want you to say anything to Reid and Tyler about her being my new roommate?" I asked, raising an eyebrow.
"Yeah, I think so." Caleb replied hanging his head, "But they are going to find out eventually, and I think it would be best coming from her than any of us, you know?"
"I understand." I replied nodding my head, "Poor girl, she had to give up everything she had known because of her parents: Her boyfriend, her friends…"
Kate and Sarah nodded as well.
"Well they are going to probably figure it out at the party she's throwing at her house tomorrow," Kate said staring out at the ocean, "I think we have already invited a majority of the people here." For the rest of the time, we were silent.
I don't get why she ran away from me. It was like she was scared of something. What's wrong with me, why the hell do I care? I walked around with the bottle of tequila I had snatched from an underclassman drinking my way into oblivion. I saw that Amanda and Tyler were talking, getting a little cozy. Big surprise. He's such a pussy when it comes to sticking up for himself.
I felt someone's hands grab onto mine pulling me against them, dancing on me. I looked down to see Cecilia, a sophomore I fucked about two weeks ago. She grinned up at me, batting her lashes, trying to be cute. She wasn't good enough for a repeat. I gazed around, continuing to dance with the girl when I saw the raven haired girl leave the group with Skylar. They were walking towards us, but she looked towards the woods and stopped, tugging on his arm. I guess he's getting lucky tonight. It should have been me.
I saw the group grab drinks and walk closer to the water and sit down. They all had this look of astonishment. I saw that they were talking, and Bailey was really paying attention. Man, she's beautiful. I decided to get closer to see what they were talking about.
They were talking about Elizabeth. I had not heard them say anything about her for almost a year. The last time Pogue said her name, I punched him in the jaw. That bitch! I cannot believe that she just left without saying anything.
Pogue discussed how I am the way that I am with girls because of her. That's bullshit. I am the way I am because I choose to be.
"So I take it that is why she doesn't want you to say anything to Reid and Tyler about her being my new roommate?" Bailey asked. Wait…WHAT? Elizabeth is Bailey's roommate? No it's not, it can't be, that girl doesn't look anything like Elizabeth except…her eyes. My heart sank. I was filled with so many emotions that I couldn't differentiate them. I knew one really well though: anger. I looked back toward the trees at where she took Skylar. I had to see for myself.
I walked quietly in the direction they headed into the trees. I heard loud whimpers and groans. Hiding by some brush, I watched as Bailey's roommate was giving Skylar the ride of his life. I couldn't take my eyes off her; the way she sounded, her movements, the sweat beading off her forehead, the way her small petite hands grabbed at everything and her lips kissed at everything. That couldn't be Elizabeth, she did not look like that. And then I heard it. "Oh, God," she breathed. "Don't stop, please, don't stop." She moaned his name heavily almost choking, "Sky-Sky-lar!"
"Reid, please, don't stop!" I remembered the memory like it was happening all over again at that moment and the way she sounded when she said it. It was her.
I felt dirty. I couldn't take my eyes from her, even if they were still at it. Eventually, she slid down and they dressed. The moonlight seemed to reflect off her eyes, they seemed somewhat sad. I saw something white out of the corner of my eye in stark contrast with the green and brown of the grass and fallen leaves. They started walking off. I bent over to pick up the object, it was her underwear. I smiled and put them into my pocket, following them out.
I continued to observe the couple throughout the night. She was drinking too much. She began to sway and stagger when she wasn't attached to Skylar's chest. She walked away from Skylar and Aaron's pack and headed to the bar grabbing another drink. Instead of going back; however, she looked as if she were sneaking off, going to where the cars were parked. I followed her not too closely to make sure that she wasn't going to try and drive. She downed her drink tossing the cup to the side as she staggered to a bad ass RX8. She bent over and picked up something from the top of her tire. Probably the keys. She pressed the unlock button and her lights flashed. I have had enough. I got closer, ready to run when I heard the engine turn.
I was getting tired of all the unwanted attention at the moment. Skylar continued to parade me around as if I were his girlfriend or something. Aaron and his guy friends leered at me while the girls, Kira included, glared, not knowing who I was. I ran out of my drink and decided it was time for another. Skylar offered to go with me, but I insisted that I was a big girl, I could handle myself. I glanced around after renewing my drink at the small groups of people. I saw Caleb and everyone sitting away from the fire on the beach. Another guy and girl joined them, and I figured it was Reid, but his hair was dark. Tyler. I blinked the tears back and decided now was the time to get the hell out of here.
I knew I was drunk, but I didn't care at the moment. The way his hands were on her just made my skin crawl. What am I saying? I just had sex with a guy. I'm going home. Now where did I park my car? I wonder if Bailey will be okay to ride with someone else. I got to my car and finished my drink, tossing it to the side. I reached on the top of the back tire and grabbed my keys. I pressed the unlock button and opened the door to slide into the seat. I reached for my cell phone in the cup holder and saw that I had 8 new text messages and 3 missed calls. Well shit! I text messaged Bailey to let her know I was leaving and to see if she had a ride. Then I skimmed through all the ones that I had received. Three were from Bailey asking if I was okay and that she couldn't find me. Annabel let me know what she was doing right at that moment with Beau. I laughed. Grace sent a text saying that she missed me. Collin sent one and Jason two that stated that we needed to talk. I wonder what about?
I scrolled through my missed calls, all three from Jason. Well it must be really important. I pressed the send button and held it up to my ear, not caring that it was probably past one in the morning. I knew he was awake; it was Friday night after all. It rang twice before I heard an answer. "It's about damn time!"
"Sorry, Jason, I left the phone in the car, I was at a party just got back to it."
"Excuses, excuses." He joked.
"Oh, shut the hell up. Now would you mind telling me what was so urgent that you felt that you needed to blast up my phone?" I teased.
"Well, um-" He started and paused.
"Jason, just talk already!" As you may have noticed, I am somewhat impatient.
"I want to ask out Grace."
"Well that's great, Sugar, you just better treat her right." I sternly told him.
"She wanted me to ask your permission, first, before she would tell me anything though."
"Why? I mean sure we used to fuck all the time, but it wasn't like we were officially dating or anything. You had other girls, I was with other guys, and Grace knew that."
"We had a relationship, we cared about each other, and I loved you, so we both just felt it right that we ask is all." I was quiet for a moment taking it all in, "I miss you so much, and if I can't have you, I have to move on, you know?"
I finally caught my breath, "Wait, did you just say that you love me?" I managed to choke out.
"Please, like you couldn't figure that out, E." He scoffed.
"Well I'm glad that you want to be with Grace. She's an amazing girl, and she will be a much better person for you to fall in love with than me, believe me."
He let out a sigh, "Thank you, E, and I don't think I will ever meet a girl that is better than you."
"Whatever, J, just take care of her. You're welcome. Goodnight." I slurred and hung up the phone without giving him a chance to respond and tossed it across the car.
I lay my head on the steering wheel banging it a few times, keeping the tears from falling. Why is it that they have to say that? I brought my head back up and fumbled with the keys trying to put it in the ignition.
A hand came into view snatching the keys from my hand. It took a moment to realize what had just happened until I heard the same voice from earlier. "What the fuck are you doing? Are you trying to kill yourself or what?"
I gazed upward to see "Reid?"
"Elizabeth?" He bent down to become eyelevel with me, his voice softened, "What are you thinking, drinking as much as you did and about to drive?"
My eyes glazed over with fresh tears and I finally let them fall. I ducked my head into my hands. He nudged me, "Scoot over."
He climbed into the driver's seat as I took passenger's, wrapping my seatbelt around me. I stayed quiet. He turned on the ignition, putting the car into drive and maneuvering around the other vehicles onto the road. "Where are you going tonight?"
"My house." I answered slowly and quietly.
The car was quiet the entire ride. He pulled my car into the driveway. I tried to open the door, but he locked it. I turned to him, "We need to talk," he simply stated, not looking at me but directly ahead.
"Come inside." I surprised myself that I could actually speak. I was shaking all over, nervous, knowing that this would come eventually. He turned off the ignition, grabbed my cell phone off the ground in front of me, and opened his door, unlocking mine.
I pushed my door open and tried to stand, but I was finding a difficulty in doing so. I guess I did drink more than enough tonight. Once I tottered to the door, I saw that Reid had already opened it with my key, and he stood in the doorway, his hand reaching for mine.
He pulled me into him, and the next thing I knew I felt a strong arm under my knees as I was lifted up, being carried up the stairs I probably wouldn't have succeeded in climbing. My eyes closed. I heard my door open and his voice, "Damn, girl, what the hell happened to your room?"
My eyes opened again glancing around a little dazed, "Bailey, Sarah, and Kate got ready over here tonight before we went to the Dells." My scratchy throat spoke out. I sounded like shit.
Reid carefully brought me down to my feet as he pulled back the covers. He leaned down unstrapping my heels as I braced myself with his shoulders, first one, then the other. "Where are your pajamas?" he inquired softly.
"I don't wear any." I replied nonchalantly.
He looked up from his position kneeling on the floor. I shrugged and pulled my top off then shimmied out of my skirt, realizing then that I did not have any panties on when the cool air reached the metal. Reid held an amused expression eying my new accessories. I stumbled over to the dresser to pull out some more and slid on some black lace boy shorts, then stumbled back toward the bed falling not so gracefully into it.
I heard shoes being tossed to the floor. I opened my eyes halfway to see Reid yanking his dark hoodie and undershirt over his head to reveal his rippled features. He unbuckled the belt holding up his dark, ripped jeans and unbuttoned them pulling them down. He wore navy checkered boxers underneath. His body was magnificent, a lot different than the last time I had seen him. My, had he grown up. He crawled over me to the other side of the bed, inching under the comforter then pulling it up over me too. He pulled my body to rotate it toward him. I felt the coarseness of his gloves. Well that's new. We sat there face to face, our blue eyes fixated on each other.
I felt his hand caress my face, and I began to cry all over again. I thought that he would be angry, but now he was just quiet. I knew that he had a lot of questions, but he didn't try to force them on me from the get go. Finally, he asked the one question that I had been dreading to answer for almost three years. "Why did you leave me?" He whispered.
"I had to go; my mom was making me move to Texas with her." I tried to answer the question, but not the exact one he wanted answered.
"You know what I meant, Elizabeth." His thumb rubbed over my tears, wiping them away. I only began to cry harder.
"I still felt empty…" I looked away from him, "I still feel empty." I choked out.
"You didn't feel anything for me, did you? Not like you did with Tyler?" His voice began to show his emotions, it felt as if was about to shed tears of his own.
"I never felt anything for anyone, Reid." I let out a heavy sigh looking back into his glazed eyes, "I care about you, you were my best friend, and the one I always could count on, but I didn't want to deal with the awkwardness of the next morning, knowing that I would be leaving anyway. It was my first time; I didn't know what to do." I exasperated.
He moved so that he was on his back, staring at the ceiling, "It was my first time, too, you know." My head snapped to look at him. What? "And you didn't even think it right to say 'goodbye' knowing that we probably would never see each other again."
"It was wrong of me, I know…" I began.
Reid cut me off, "Wrong? Wrong?" He choked, "It killed me, Elizabeth. I loved you my entire life, and then Tyler gets you before I do, and then when I do get you, you leave me without a word. Every girl I meet, I compare to you. Every girl I … fuck…I can't help but see your face, your eyes…It's like I'm cursed or something…" He let out all of his emotions to me as I listened. I knew that I had caused him pain, but it hurt even more for him to say it.
When he finally finished, I was quiet. "I'm cursed, too, Reid." I plainly declared.
His gaze turned back toward mine. "What do you mean?" He asked interested. He turned his body toward mine and propped his head on his hand.
"I can't really come up with the words to describe it right now, Reid." I sighed deeply, slurring my words, ready to pass out.
"Well can you answer two simple questions for me then before you pass out?" He looked at me hopefully.
"Shoot." I answered, closing my eyes.
"Who is Jason? Was he your boyfriend in Texas?"
My eyes shot open, "How do you know about-"
"I was watching you to make sure that you didn't drive off." He explained.
"He was some guy I was fucking; I haven't had a boyfriend since Tyler." I stated simply.
"Why are you back?"
I really didn't know how to answer this question. I huffed loudly, "I got into a lot of trouble, and my mom got tired of me jeopardizing my step-brothers job by using him to get me off. We were at a party at my friend Grace's house and Collin showed up. He was a cop that worked with my step-brother, David, and we kind of had a history. Grace needed me to keep him occupied so that he wouldn't bust people like Jason who had drugs and everything on them. After we…you know…I handcuffed him to the bed and stole his car keys, and we kind of took a joyride. Then once David caught up with us, we went on a car chase. No one got hurt or anything. I was just playing around, but I was coked out and drunk." I paused, "And it wasn't the first time. They decided to ship me off, and well, here I am." I looked pleadingly into Reid's eyes to see his reaction.
He looked to be in deep thought. Several minutes passed by before he said anything, "How many guys have you been with?"
"Well, how many girls have you been with?" I retaliated.
"Too many." He looked back to the ceiling.
"Me, too," I answered pulling the covers closer to my face.
All was quiet for about five minutes, and I heard Reid take a sharp intake of breath, "Do you ever feel anything?"
"You mean aside from my orgasm?" I joked.
"Yeah," he chuckled, "like do you ever feel anything for the person?"
"Well there were some that I cared about like you, Collin, and Jason, but none that I didn't feel the emptiness with. What about you?"
"Well…there was this one girl…" He trailed off. His arm wrapped around my waist pulling me to conform to his body like old times. "It was you." He breathed in my hair. A couple more moments passed. "You look so different." It was more of a question than a statement.
"Time does that too you." I replied.
I felt him kiss my head and snuggle into me. I fell asleep. It was one of the best night's sleeps that I've had in years.
Well it seems that Reid end Elizabeth are repairing their relationship...for the time being. We'll see how I feel when I write the next chapter. Give me your thoughts!
