We pick up with Ratchet at Optimus' door knocking at 0700. Disclaimer, I don't own any of the characters from the movie or the cartoon, they belong to Hasbro, DreamWorks and Paramount Pictures. I do however own the funny and personal plot of this story. sorry it took so long for me to update, enjoy though!!! Okay I know I would include some talk Ratchet had with Bee but, as you read on my amusement got the better of me and before the day was up just about everyone was on the beach by sundown enjoying a good time, even Ratchet!


I got up early and made my way into my office to look up my list of patients scheduled for today. I have of course Optimus at his quarters at 0700 hrs, Ironhide and Chromia at 0715 hrs. Then later this morning Sideswipe at 1100 hrs, that's if I find him but, he doesn't give me such a hard time any more. Lately though, he and his brother actually been good well, since the bad stunt they pull on the minor twins and Prowls punishment he gave them that they are still under. Well, then I have Preceptor around 1430 hrs who will either talk your audio receptors off about something he figured out and tell you why and how he came to that conclusion or not say a word cause he is thinking. He never is a problem in fact he is one of many very intelligent scientists we had from our world and he is the most intrigued Autobot I know that is the most interested about earth and its solar system. I catch on to a lot of interesting tidbits of earth and the scientific aspects of medicine and research studies from him. I am hoping to catch Bumblebee today and speak further with him. He has shared with me more lately of things in his life including the incident at Hoover Dam. The other things Bumblebee has shared with me is like how he's into the social thing with humans and their entertainment much like Jazz was but, from a distance though he very smart for his age. He pretty much stays with or in touch with Sam and or Mikalea. Optimus enjoys the history and geography studies of the planet. As I look over the rest of the list and sending some reports to my data pad for easy reference, I get up and go pour me a cup of energon from my dispenser. I look at the clock and see that it is now 0615hrs. With that I get up and take my cup with me as I walk into the med bay area to set up for the day. I then walk over to my work bench and opened the drawer and pick up the shot I was to give Optimus last night. I placed it again in my sub-pocket and head out to catch him before he thinks of leaving early this morning and forgets and goes to his office or over to the ops hanger we share with the human side of the N.E.S.T. team.


It was about 0658hrs when I made it to their quarters and I push the chime button once. I stood there for a few minutes and then called Optimus over the comm-link.

"Ratchet to Optimus," I said.

He was either ignoring me or still asleep. "Optimus this is Ratchet I am at your door," I said over the comm-link again, I knew he was there cause I scan the room but, scanning again tells me he is in fact in deep recharge. I did not hesitated to ring the bell once again but, then I heard large and loud footsteps getting closer. He's up! The door came open with Optimus standing there in his proto-form or as humans might think, naked. I knew he always slept that way it was easier and more comfortable. We really all tend to in private sleep that way; with the battle armor on it's bulky and awkward so we retract it at night and thus you see us in our 'birth skin' for lack of better words to explain it.

"What," he growled at me.

"Don't you growl at me youngling, you know why I am here or have you forgot?" I snapped back at him as I stood there with my hands on my hips.

He rolled he's optics and took a step back, "I'll be back in a minute, come in." he said and as he walked away.

"This will only take a minute and I'll patients arriving in fifteen minutes," I remarked as he stopped and turn to me.

"Look Hatchet, I got straight out of bed and came straight to the door for your pesky shot. I will go the head first unless you rather clean it up for me," he snapped off angrily as he went on down the hallway.

"Oh," I softy said as I sat down on the sofa in their front room; damn, me and my big mouth. A second or two later I heard the bathroom door close a little louder than I am sure he want to.

"Oh, man damn," I heard him saying. I got up and started to walk down the hall, I could hear him in the bathroom as Elita came stumping out of their bedroom.

"Optimus!" she yelled as she saw the door jarred off of it's hinge again.

"What Hatchet, what ?" she snapped at me. I just stood there a moment then decided to answer her seeing that she was pissed about being awaking rudely.

"I am sorry and I didn't make him slam the door Elita," I said as I quickly turned around and went to set back down on the sofa.

I could for the next few minutes hear her bitching about the door and the noise then the next thing I hear her say was, " go you big lugnut and get the shot over with, damn. Then we can get ready to leave sooner now cause I am now wide awake!" she yelled at him.

I sat there looking down at my hands as I heard him walking rather briskly down the hallway and into the front room. Just as he did I looked up and saw the look in his optics that only Megatron receives or a poor soul who really pissed him off. He is not one for being woke up before he is ready as of lately unless we are under attack. He snapped off at Galloway two weeks ago for having the 'balls' as the humans say to knock at his door at two in the morning over a missed report and a party he actually attend for two hours talking with Lennox and the team. Needless to say, Galloway and Optimus have a better understand as of lately. He was the one who yesterday sent me a letter of concern and best wishes to the 'big Buddha', as the guys from Lennox team call him.

"Hello earth to Ratchet! let's just get this lovely morning shot over with shall we?" Optimus said with a twinge of disgust as I looked up immediately.

He leaned over the side of the sofa and I went to pull out the needle and was just about to give him the shot, he looked up to see Elita walking in the room giggling. He jerk up just as I was inserting the needle, oh shit. I jerked the needle out and threw it over my shoulder and I saw it fall behind the fake tall planet setting near the front door.

"OOOOOWWWWWWW! For the love of Primus! He yelled at the top of his voice as I tried to soothe the pain away by rubbing he's sore spot. Which only won me a free flight across the room and into the wall, "ouch!" I mumbled softly as I decided to stay upside down against the wall.

"Femme, what was so funny huh!" he sort of cried out as he tried himself to rub the pain out.

"Optimus, calm down am I sorry your face; I couldn't help it you squinted your face up so tight like you were waiting to be punched in the face or something," she said as she was caressing him trying to get him to calm down and in a good mood.

I decided to get up and as I saw him turn around and head down the hallway.

"Oh Ratchet! I am sorry, are you okay?" Elita turn and saw me still setting on the floor.

"Yea, I think I'll leave now," I said and got up as she walked over and reached out to me and grabbed my hand.

"I am sorry I was laughing at what he did to the door too. I think this time it's broke for good. He as you know can't wake up and not first go,, that's usually what wakes him up in the morning in the first places unless I playful tease him awake and even then I know to let him get out of bed then. I would count yourself lucky he made it though," Elita whispered.

I could hear Optimus banging on the door frame trying to reattach it as the door chime rang.

"Oh primus, I get the door on my way out Elita," I said as I was about to reach the pad and push the open switch.

But just as I was about to I heard Optimus coming down the hallway, "don't answer that." He walked over to the door with a hammer in his hand and punched the door open, "Good morning, all is well here but my head. I ran into the bathroom door again," he said as he shut the door. The bathroom doorway was a little low and he often did hit his head or bump his antennas on the top ledge.

"Optimus, open up," came Magnus and Prowl's voices from the other side. He stopped half way across the room and looked at me. I stayed put on the floor, he walked over and offer a hand up in which I took. He then nodded and mumbled something as he went on back to the bathroom door. Elita had answered the door and Magnus walked in first.

"I have patients waiting, I will be back or send Optimus around 1300hrs to the med bay alone," I said to Elita and left out. I had after all others now waiting on me as it was already 0750hrs.


I got back to the med bay to find Chormia setting in a chair in the front room as I walked in.

"Where is Ironhide?" I asked her annoyed that I walked faster than normal to get back here for nothing.

"Grumpy as usual huh Ratchet? What happen, basically the whole base was wakened and Ironhide is at or on his way from ops to Optimus quarters," Chroima said as she hopped upon the examining table.

I just stood there, no this is not going to be a good day I thought to myself.

"It's a long story and one I am truly sorry I could not in my defense for see and or prevent," I said as I went about with running my scans for her check up. Her scans show some energon deficiency but nothing abnormal I assume she's been worried for Elita as Ironhide has been for Optimus.

"Ironhide to Ratchet," I hear him calling.

"Ratchet here and where are you?" I replied.

"With Optimus, I'll be there later, tell Chromia to meet me here at Optimus and Elita's quarters when she is though, Ironhide out," he said hurriedly.

I look over at the last scans being up loaded to my data pad as she sat there on the examining table where she was setting after I came in.

"Well," I said out loud then ran the same scan again.

"What?" Chromia asked.

"Well, it seems we can now take our species off the endangered list. You are expecting a baby boy in about, four in a half earth months," I said as I handed the results to her.

She slowly grabbed the data pad and looked at it with a phrase that would best be describe as 'bug eyed'.

Our infestation period for femmes is about six earth months. Time here on earth is much slower than it was on Cybertron.

"Oh Ratchet, I, I don't know what to say," Chromia said completely flabbergasted.

"Well, you could say it's about time Primus gave you both a sparkling, go on you can leave and it would be great news for both you and Ironhide oh, it wouldn't hurt to tell Optimus and Elita you know they both would be delighted," I told her but, before I was even done with saying that she was getting up took me by surprise with a big hug and a kiss on the chick then took off out of the med bay. I could help but smile, they all been wanting a sparkling since all but a few survived the war and destruction of our home planet.


1200hrs alone with the med bay doors lock for lunch break

I sit here typing some more of my Journal alone with some peace and quiet, with the doors lock, my comm-link turned off and with a nasty note taped to the front doors. The rest of the morning went along slow as hell and everyone came by and asked me what the pit happen. I told them all find out for your self cause I am now tired of explaining it. Sideswipe, of course found out some how and just had to rub it in. I came so close to cleaning his clock, as the humans refer to as one getting an aft whipping. But I instead just gave him a very uncomfortable check up and flushing. Which left him to walk out of here less than regal. I made him give me a sample of both, an extraction of some of his energon fluid via a needle to which he hates worse than Optimus did at that age to which I needed my assistant to aid in holding him down. Mainly to keep him from biting me. Optimus never bit just yelled, ran and or hide from me and freaked out even seeing someone else get shots A.K.A. Bumblebee. He hate it when I need him to help me get Bee to hold still long enough to administer his booster shoots when he was a sparkling shortly after Optimus and Elita found him. Bumblebee only trusted and came to Optimus or Elita if they called him. But, there was times Optimus had to hunt Bee down just as I did him and I rib Optimus still to this day for that. Oh, yea and when Bee would get pissed off at you he would either blow a raspberry at you, farted in your presence or worse leave a nasty puddle of lubricate in a can and leave it in your quarters. That sneaky little spit pawn, that stuff stinks just like human piss too! Agent Simmons got it hard Bee just leaked lubricate all over him cause, he really pissed Bee off. I could go on and on he I swear picked up on some nasty habits Optimus had when he was younger. Optimus, oh! He was not as regal and calm then as he is now. He was known as the king prankster, he and Magnus both. He too would have that nasty fart and burping contests and Ironhide was and is the one that still would get bored and start a fight with what ever he could find and start pounding someone with it. Last month it was a whole crate of frozen cherry and apple pies that was for the holiday dinners for the humans that started that next week. I must confess though I for one got in on it too it was about the most fun we all had in I don't remember when. We all were covered in either cherry, apple or both! Hell Ironhide got Lennox first who then got Optimus who was recharging in the back of the hanger in his alt-mode setting in the sun. Whew, was he ever pissed and I laughed seeing him quickly transform and locate a pie case out of the crate Ironhide drugged out. Then give chase across the field like a bat out of hell after him. Nailing him square in the chest knocking him completely back a good oh, hundred or so feet with a loud thump!

I guess I needed to finally write this down. I remember so much laughter after all and yet sadness too. I look up to see that it is about 1325hrs and I have sat here alone for an hour and a half thinking and writing this stuff down. I have not heard one knock or noise outside in the hallways but, I need to get off here and go see about finding Optimus safely!


2300hrs later that night back in my office very tired but happy to write this down too before going to bed for the night.

I unlocked the main doors to the med bay and headed out down the hall with another shot for Optimus and hopefully not another disaster.

"Ratchet to Optimus," I called out to him after turning on my comm-link.

I heard nothing or saw anyone around and as I made it outside and headed to our private hanger there was humans traveling to and forth but, I do not detect any Autobot signals. That's funny I thought to myself, where in the pit has everyone gone to.

"Okay anyone this is Ratchet where is everyone, ha, ha on me. Can a bot get a hour and a half to himself to think or what?" I yelled over the comm-link on all channels.

I kept on walking across to our hanger and walked in headed for the rect room. As I walked in no one was there uhumm, I thought so I left and headed to Optimus quarters figuring he order complete silence across the hanger. He has done so when he been sick about two months before Elita made it to earth, the poor thing couldn't hold nothing down for days and that's with some medicine I gave via his anal cavity. I came to his door just the other side of Ironhide's quarters and rang the bell to his quarters. I scanned the room to only find out no one was there either, shit what tha! I started to walk on to back to my hanger complete with my own room and saw Robert Epps driving up to our hanger.

"Hatchet!" he hollered as I passed on by pissed off and was going to call the rest of the day off.

"What!" I snapped. To which he got out of the jeep and started to walk towards me.

"Optimus sent me to get you," that's all he said then turned around and ran back to the jeep jump in and drove off. I took it as a serious situation and transform and took off behind him. I drove following him as he headed for the beach and I then detected everyone. I approached the beach and came to a sudden stop, transformed and everyone scatters in different directions running on foot.

"Okay what the frag is going on here? Optimus you want it here or back home in bed?" Everyone settled down and Optimus froze just then cause he knew I was pissed.

"I' am playing around out here with some of the others and some left and will be back later with BBQ pits for the humans and food and drinks. Hey cool off would ya," he said as he slowly walked toward me. I got real smart and started to back off but, shit he was way to fast and he grabbed a hold of me faster than I could turn around and run and he threw me up and several ways into the surf!

"OPTIMUS , you damn fragger!" I screamed as I flew through the air and at least landed feet first instead of a belly flop into the ocean. I came up a few seconds later and looked toward the beach were he was on all fours laughing his ass off . I quickly swim for shore and as I got to my feet and walked the rest of the way he was standing there with his hands crossed over his chest. I just flipped him the bird and yelled, "Twice to ya, you evil spit spawn," and stormed off.

"Oh come on Ratchet, it's what two-thirty in the afternoon come on I meet you back at base," he said as I heard him transforming and he took off passing me by blowing he's air horn.

"Damn you, that's my fragging audios," I yelled and transformed and give chase while hearing those behind me whistling and cutting up at Optimus obvious revenge at me.

We got back to base and I gave him his shot in the med bay but he said, " I promise not to move."

"You better not and I have to give to you on you left side cause you got a big bruise on your right chick," I said snickering at him.

"Shut -up hatchet and just do it, GENTLY!" he begged.

I gave him the shot and he softly yelped a little. I then left out of the room and came back a few minutes later to give him some pills that I made up earlier to stop the shots and for him to be able to take when he left out tomorrow morning. I then gave him then the data pad with their plans I made for them in California for all of next week. He looked at me with that puzzled face, "What is this?" He asked exquisitely.

"Your vacation that ensures your recovery and you both deserve. Now how about we head back to the beach," I said to him. He just smiled a little then yelled, "last one there gets dunk, again!" he said as he flew out of the bay and I was right on his aft.

"Oh, the pit you say," I yelled at him as he quickly took off, damn that youngling is still faster than me. But I am glad to see him happy for a change and the others to even if it don't last forever, nothing really does though.


Next chapter Optimus and Elita take off for California!