You know, each and every time I hear a dwarf, I wonder 'why do they speak as if they were always gritting their teeth?'. Or, I guess, I should say 'I wondered', till the very day when auntie Jessie explained it to me. Of course, being a wee bit deaf, she asked why did I think that even such creatures like dwarves would greet their teeth. When I specified what I ment, my poor old auntie was delighted I asked such a question. 'My little Jan - she said - I am delighted you ask such a question. You see, long ago, when the Gods created Faerun out of The Giant Turnip, or maybe a few eras later (and I didn't doubt Auntie remembered that, too) there was this horrible iron shortage. Not that one they were complaining about on the North, no, this was the first iron shortage in the world, and no one knew what to do, because it was the first time it happened, and when something happens for the first time, people usually all go like 'what the hell I'm dying help help' or something. This time was no different. The dwarves, who were speaking normally before all these things happened, made a great offering to Clangeddin (it's not hard to find dwarfish virgins, you see) and all came to his temple to seek advice. Unfortunately... I mean, unfortunately for my uncle, who was a thief and was stealing gold from this so called holy place. As they entered, he hid himself behind the greatest of sculptures - he was quite fat by then, you know, and a slim column just wouldn't do - and waited for the dwarves to leave. Well, those little fellows wouldn't do that, and after their priest once again asked Clangeddin for guidance, they just stood there, waiting for anything to happen. Well, my uncle didn't want them to be unhappy and disappointed - most of all, he didn't want them to be THERE while he was doing his grand heist - so he said as loud as he could 'KEEP IRON IN YER MOUTH AND NO ONE WILL STEAL, POISON, OR DESTROY IT!' The dwarves obeyed, and they do till this very day. This lot rarely questions anything, if it's not false gold. So, my uncle is the reason why the dwarves speak the way they speak. Try to speak differently with all those pieces of iron in your mouth!'
That is, my friend, what my Auntie said to me. But why do they say 'slainte' when drinking, even she did not know. My granny
