A/N: My new Literati fic takes place after Season 4 episode 12 - A Family Matter. But I changed few things. Jess came back in Stars Hollow after year of absence. He and Rory met again in the night when he spent in his car before his uncle diner. In my fic Lorelai is single and Rory just started her first year in the college. What would happen if they actually had a chance to fix things between them? What choices Rory would make if Jess was a factor in her life? What if Jess hadn't ran? Read and you'll see.
As a special note I would add – my first language is not English. Please excuse my grammar here and there. Review if you like and please – enjoy the story. I really hope my Literati muse came back. I missed writing for these two.
Yours,
ArinnaVal
Chapter 7 Go back home, Rory
A week passed. Then another one.
He couldn't wake up.
The doctors told her that everything is fine. They assured her that there is no problem and Jess had to wake up any moment now. However, he couldn't. Rory was spending her every free moment there. She was beside his bed. She skipped classes and her mother was getting nervous about it. Lorelai thought that Yale is better than wasting her time with someone who had hurt her so much. Rory could understand that, but somehow that didn't matter right now. Nothing mattered when Jess was like this. Even Luke gave up hope already. He hardly even visited Jess. He told Rory that he couldn't see Jess like this. Rory could understand that too, but the thing she couldn't understand was why everybody thought that their life was better without Jess on it. Maybe she was somehow a masochist to think like that. Maybe it was her love, buried deep in her heart. Maybe she just didn't want to give up. She wasn't a quitter. Never was. Never would be. Lorelai had taught her well. She would never give up hope; even if that means that she was the last one standing.
It was the beginning of the second week and Rory had stopped by to visit Jess again. It was her first job after classes. However, this time she wasn't alone. She had just opened a book to read to Jess. It was Ayn Rand. She knew how much Jess hated that author and maybe if he could hear her, that could provoke him to wake up. Rory was ready to use everything to make him react somehow. Just then, the door opened and she heard her mother.
"Life goes on even without Jess, Rory!" Lorelai spoke quietly.
"I can't leave him" Rory closed the book with annoyance.
"Why?"
"Because he means something to me."
"He hurt you."
"He did."
"Then why? I don't understand."
"Because. He. Means. Something. To. Me." Rory repeated every word slowly.
"I heard that."
"Then don't ask more, please?"
"You're…"
"You know… mom." Rory interrupted her. "I know what you think, but I really need to do this."
"You what?"
"I need…"
"It's what I've heard. Need?"
"Yeah."
"Rory…" Lorelai sighed and looked at her daughter as if she had lost her mind. "He wouldn't do that for you."
"How would you know?"
"Hello? Jess Mariano." Lorelai scoffed. "The boy who broke your heart."
"I didn't love him that much." Rory looked away.
"It made you miserable for a little over an year."
"I wasn't…"
"Please remember I'm your mother and I know what you're thinking, Rory."
"Gee! Since when you can read minds?"
"That's a mother's thing." Lorelai rolled her eyes. "An inhuman power!"
"Mom…" Rory just shook her head. "You know I wasn't that bad."
"You cut your hair." Lorelai dragged a chair close to Rory.
"I wanted a change." Rory ran her fingers through her short hair.
"You felt depressed."
"I wasn't."
"You cried on Dean's wedding!"
"Who-who told you?" Rory's eyes widen.
"Hey, mind reader over here!" Lorelai pointed to herself.
"Can you please be serious for once?" Her daughter frowned.
"Not a chance."
Rory just sighed and looked back at Jess. The scars on his face were barely noticeable now. His doctors had reassured her that they would be gone soon. Rory couldn't help, but to slide her palm over a side of his face. He was sleeping. Right now, no one knew what was wrong with him.
"I have to stay here, mom."
"I thought you have your reasons to come and visit him after the crash, but honey… It's been a week and you aren't even his girlfriend."
"I've been told." Rory hissed and looked back at her mother. "Can you please go now?"
"This have to stop, Rory." Lorelai touched her daughter's shoulder. "You've been only torturing yourself."
"Please, go." Rory said softly, but basically because she could understand her mother's reasons. However, she wouldn't accept them. She wanted to stay and nothing could change her mind.
"Rory…"
"He told me he loved me."
"What?" Lorelai looked absolutely amused.
"Right before the crash and then we kissed."
"Who kissed who?" Lorelai frowned.
"We both kissed each other." Rory furrowed her brow. "Whoa! Talk about déjà vu, huh? Haven't we talked about this before?"
"I'm asking you right now."
"I'm going to stay!"
"You have your own life, Rory." Lorelai lowered her voice. "Don't ruin it over someone who doesn't deserve you! I know you think you love him, honey… but Jess is no good for you. He brings the trouble wherever he goes. Look what he did to you!"
"Maybe I want that trouble in my life!" Rory said all of a sudden.
"What?"
"Maybe I missed that trouble all the time. You know what mom, after he left I felt empty." She placed her hand over her heart. "I felt like he stole this from me. He stole my heart and I've never gotten it back. You know how it feels? It hurt! It hurts so bad that's almost physical! So I put the smiley mask on my face. I put it on and moved on to the next period of my life. However, my heart wasn't there. He had taken it with him."
"Sweets…" Lorelai reached out and hugged her. Rory just lay her head on her mother's shoulder, kept talking.
"I want my heart back on its place, mom. I want him back!" She sobbed lightly, finally dropping her mask down. "I want him back! Back!"
"Shh-shh…" Lorelai just rubbed Rory's back and looked at the sleeping Jess. Her forehead crooked into a frown. She knew about Rory's silent suffering, but she didn't know it was that strong. "If this is really what you want…"
"I don't want to suffer anymore." Rory said after sometime and pulled back. "I don't want to live in a lie. I want to be me."
"But you have to make sure he feels the same, right?"
"He told me he loved me!"
"And then ran away… again." Lorelai shrugged. "Or at least he tried."
"Mom!"
"Don't yell at me! We're in a hospital!"
"What do you want me to do then?" Rory lowered her voice. "Just…"
"…go home, Rory…" Jess' voice surprised her to the point she almost fell off the chair.
"Jess!" She got off her place quickly and placed her hand over his forehead. "You're awake?"
"Ror…" He coughed when he tried to talk again and she reached out for a small glass of water, left on his nightstand.
"Here." Rory helped him to drink carefully and then looked at him. Her face was transparent. She didn't even bother to hide her true feelings. "Don't worry, Jess… I'm gonna call your doctors now."
"Go… home…" He said quietly instead, but she just shook her head.
"No!"
