AN Hi everyone! It has really been too long since I updated! Unfortunately exams have been taking up my entire life!

Oh well, here is another chapter! Yay!

I have taken on board peoples comments about whether or not I should include a Teddy POV of 'that day'. I finally decided to do a little snipit of a flashback because I couldn't help myself...hope everyone thinks it works...

so on with the story...

Disclaimer: uh I clearly don't own Harry Potter...:)


Chapter six

'I am either completely oblivious or everyone is determined to tell me nothing'


...Teddy...

Waking up - normal, everyday activity.

Naked- not so normal but not unheard of.

Last year that would've meant that the previous night I'd had a good fuck. Now... It meant lying flat on my back on the damp earth staring up at trees, my body foreign and filthy - obviously not normal.

For me, this part was always the worst part of the transformation. Because at this moment I'd never felt less human. I gritted my teeth in anger.

Merlin I hated this.

I hated the unnaturalness and I hated my self-depreciation and I hated the loneliness. "I wish you were here dad." I whispered, "I wish you were here to help me...I wish…someone, I wish there was someone I could talk to." I spoke out-loud, as if he were actually listening. I sounded fucking pathetic, but I didn't give a shit, this was the time when I moped. I think I earned that right. With all the pain and suffering this curse caused me I think I deserved a few minutes to just be depressed about life.

After a short while though, I forced myself to stand up. I didn't have a clue how far from the forest boundary I was, but instinct pointed me in the direction I should take. The leaf littered, uneven ground hurt my bare feet, but I welcomed the pain as each step made me more me, more Teddy.

Surprisingly it wasn't long until the undergrowth thinned, indicating I was approaching the edge of the forbidden forest and then it was only a few more minutes until I spotted Hagrid's hut through the limited gaps in the wide trunks. Slowing my pace, I listened carefully for any sign that he was up. The misty Dawn light suggested that no one in their right minds should be alive and moving at this time, but you never know with Hagrid.

Shuffling along the boundary, I almost smiled when I saw the familiar back-pack hiked up in the branches of my chosen tree.

It looked higher in this light - or more accurately this frame of mind. Gauging the height I frowned. Crap. It had definitely been easier getting it up there that it would be getting it down.

Biting my lip I decided to just get the fuck along with it. I reached for a roughened bump that protruded from the trunk with my right arm, placing one of my feet on a rock near the base.

Then I climbed.

Fuck it wasn't easy, the rough bark scraped at my skin and exhaustion strained my muscled every time I moved, but I was successful in retrieving the bag. The plus side was pulling the soft cotton of the clothes over my raw skin was by far the best reward I could have asked for.

Aware of the limited time I had left, I hurriedly made my way back to the castle, my feet heavy with tiredness, my body aching everywhere. I was running on auto pilot now:

Shower.

Caffeine.

School.

Sleep.

Do not think about Victoire under any circumstance.

So far I was succeeding on the final point. I didn't count on that to last long though.

Arriving back at my dorm I snuck past my snoring roommates to the adjoining bathroom and turned on the shower, my skin practically tingling with the promise of a clean.

It was heaven, laving the soap and watching most of the evidence of last night's events swirl down the drain.

But now that I was clean my tiredness became impossible to ignore. I'd literally just flopped down on the bed next to - ugh - Pluie, who gazed at me with a creepy 'I know where you have been' look, when the twin's owl started to squawk.

They'd gotten the owl in third year, and had apparently spent that summer teaching it to act like an alarm clock. It had been a hard year for them—their father died in a car crash and since their dad had always been the early riser and assigned waker-upper and so they had decided it was necessary to fill the position.

Right now, I hated the goddamn bird.

Groaning, I pulled a pillow over my head in an attempt to block put the noise. "Make it stop!" I pleaded.

Someone—Kevin—stumbled from bed and the sound muted.

"Thank fuck." I muttered.

"Hey we'd never be on time otherwise." Kevin said.

"Ha! Yeah right, the bird is always either early or late, he's never on time. Besides it's Sunday, who needs a wake-up call on Sunday?" Wood commented from his bed.

"Well I'd like to see you do better Wood! When was the last time you trained an owl or any animal actually?" Dan retorted defensively, still buried beneath his duvet.

It was becoming apparent I was not going to get any sleep.

Stretching out, I sat up and rolled my shoulders, narrowing my eyes at the fat cat that leapt onto the still warm pillow I'd tossed aside. "Devil cat." I muttered, receiving a hiss in return. "I feel the same way about you." I snapped.

"Um Ted are you talking to that cat?" Dan asked, sitting up as well.

"Actually, arguing would probably be my description." I corrected him, rolling my neck with a groan. Fuck, the change was a killer for my muscles.

"I dunno the cat obviously has some love for you, otherwise it wouldn't be here." Kevin said as he passed my bed heading for the bathroom as Wood began getting dressed.

"Whatever." I answered, standing up and stretching my arms above my head.

"Shit, what the hell happened to you?" Dan asked wide-eyed from his bed directly opposite mine.

"Huh?"

"You look half dead." he elaborated.

"Oh." I frowned; I'd been hoping that hiding this shit would involve a hell of a lot less lying than it actually was.

"Bet it was the chick from last night. Bit of a bash in the broom closet eh?" Wood chuckled, "You were gone ages!"

I jumped at the excuse, playing the sex angle again. Fuck I was coming across as a right horny bastard, "Yeah, it was wild." I boasted, turning back to my belongings and gathering my stuff together for the day.

Dan rolled his eyes and got out of bed his voice taunting when he started speaking, "Unbelievable, the guy had spattergroit and he's still the first one to get laid."

"Actually, I think we all know that I was the first one." Wood interrupted.

"Never proven!" Kevin shouted from the bathroom.

Wood turned his head in the direction of the bathroom, "yeah, Christmas, fifth year, when we all stayed in school." he argued.

"You did not!" shouted Kevin, walking back into the dorm, "I carried you up to the dorm completely hammered that year."

Wood grumbled out a 'whatever' and stomped off to the bathroom whilst Dan and Kevin fist bumped. I couldn't help but crack a smile.

This familiar banter between us, the competition, the...ease of it all, I'd missed this.

But even here in the middle of this everyday life, the shit from last night was still very much present in my mind.

My skin ached, my head was foggy and those stupid blue irises were still flashing behind my eyelids.

No.

Don't think about it.

Don't think about the fact that last night you wanted to fuck her senseless.

Or that you were so angry (and still are) that she had been out in the forbidden forest, after curfew, with Stevenson – what the fuck?

Or that when she'd spoken, the wolf had listened, and obeyed her.

Or that when she was scared she'd called out for you.

My name. That scream of panic. It was echoing around my head over and over: "TEDDY!" "TEDDY!" "TEDDY!"

Why me? Why the fuck had Victoire Weasley—who had hated me since we were kids—called to me for help, even when she knew I couldn't hear her?

"Ted, you ready to go?" I jumped as Wood came over and slapped my shoulder.

"Um...yeah." I said, shaking away the memory.

The walk down to breakfast was pretty much silent. I was lost in my thoughts and my guess was the rest of the guys were focused on food. We plodded in to the great hall amongst the throng of other students and quietly took some seats, just like any other day. Nobody even remotely aware that last night, I could have killed them and not thought twice about it. Keeping my head low and buttering some toast whilst yawning like crazy, I was attempting to not look for a certain Weasley...I was definitely not prepared for Dominique to plop down next to me, her eyes narrowed.

"What do you want?" I asked, willing myself not to snarl.

"You have never made sense to me Teddy. But recently? I really, really don't get you." she began, her voice cutting.

"Well thanks for that enlightenment, you done?" I returned, not seeing the point of this conversation.

"Imbecile!" the French accent made the word sound strangely less insulting. But she clamped her hand around my arm and yanked me to my feet, forcibly dragging me after her and out of the hall.

I could have stopped her but to be honest I couldn't find it in me to be remotely bothered, I was more annoyed that my toast was going cold.

Stopping suddenly, she swivelled to pin me with the Weasley-Veela glare. I raised my eyebrow and waited, knowing it would be some rant. "Don't you give me that look Teddy Lupin! You bastard! What's wrong with you?" she yelled and I could almost reach out and touch her anger.

"It's a bloody long list." I muttered sarcastically.

She threw her arms up in the air in a dramatic gesture and I rolled my eyes as she stated to speak again, "Merlin I'll never know what girls see in you." growling she looked me in the eyes, "Listen to me. You and Vic? Sure I get the whole love to hate one another thing, I mean she never fully told me what really went down between you that day, but it must have been one hell of a shitty mess." I refused to show her how much the mention of mine and Victoire's past bothered me, particularly after last night. It clearly worked because she didn't stop her speech, "I didn't push though, because you both seemed so set on hating one another that I figured you were both on the same page, so why get involved? You'd get over it eventually. Only you never did. You're both too full of pride to admit you were stupid and actually you need one another." I gave her a 'you must be kidding look', but she just rolled her eyes and continued in her superior tone, "It's why you can't just stop talking, you need some kind of interaction even if it hurts."

Not giving her the satisfaction of seeing that she was having any effect on me I gave her a bitter retort, "Well thanks for psycho analysing my life."

"Listen!" she screamed and the seriousness of her tone made me freeze. "I don't make the same mistake twice, and I'll be damned if I don't say something now. I let the thing with you two go. I let you play enemies for years but now something's changed. I can't say I'm surprised I mean after what happened with Vic and Stevenson last year, you were bound to react to that, and I knew Wood would tell you which explains your infamous head to heads with him and-"

"What the fuck are you on about?" She'd lost me when she'd stated on Tor and Stevenson.

She stopped still and stared at me with that unnerving focus. "Shit. You still don't know what happened. Well good on Wood."

"Why? What did happen?" If that son of a bitch hurt Tor I'd rip his throat out.

"I can't tell you. You'll have to ask Vic."

"Ha yeah right-"

"Don't give me that, come on Teddy. Why do you think Stevenson is acting like he is? Why do you think the whole school was so shocked when you and him fought, because as far as they know you and Vic always hated each other? Something between you and Vic has changed. First I thought it was because you'd found out, now? Well...you tell me."

"Nothing's changed" I said stubbornly.

"Uh huh, how did she really end up in the hospital Wing Ted? And why did she show up in the Ravenclaw common room last night half crying half bloody furious? And then again this morning crying about that day, that she's never spoken to anyone about since it happened? And why is Stevenson in the hospital wing this morning? You really want to say nothing's changed? You two have had some major run in's in the past few years but this is ridiculous! And the fact either of you even mentioned that day just proves something is different, you normally act as if it never happened."

"Why don't you ask her? Why the fuck is it always my fault? I wasn't here last year, I have no idea what went down with her and Stevenson but I'm being dragged into it anyway! As for last night, yeah me and Tor fought, so what? But I don't know how Stevenson ended up in the hospital wing." Technically none of that was a lie. I didn't know how Stevenson got to the hospital wing, but I knew he'd have needed to go after the injuries I'd given him.

"Whatever, keep deluding yourself. But when it comes to you and Vic, we both know there is too much there for it to be ignored and sooner or later you're going to have to deal. But that's not why I'm here, like I said, I've missed my chance to get involved with that. I'm here because Molly is my cousin and my friend."

My insides grew cold; arguing about Tor was nothing new between me and Dom, but Molly...why would she want to talk about Molly? Then it all came back to me, running into her last night, the conversation, the kiss.

Crap. Shit. Fuck. "I-"

"Don't. Just don't Teddy. Look, Molly isn't like me and Vic, she's far more...innocent. She sees the good in everything and is sweet and kind and destined to be head girl. She doesn't know the you that me - well, that Vic knows, because I only know it through her. She is not a chew toy and I won't let you hurt her because unlike with Victoire she won't fight back. You will break her." She emphasised her eyes full of protective fury, odd considering she was younger than Molly.

"I have no intention of hurting Molly. Last night... I was ill last night and I didn't read into what we were talking about and what she might think until it was too late and then she kissed me and I didn't have time to tell her-"

"Didn't have time? That's a crap excuse! What was more important than stopping her from thinking that you felt something for her, she spent half the night with most of the population of female Ravenclaws dissecting your every word convincing herself you were into her. I tried to talk her out if it but damn she's just too, well she's...look I couldn't fight those big earnest eyes. So you have to say something."

"I will I'm not that much of a prick." I defended myself.

"Good, I'll hold you to it...and if you really want to prove you're not a prick to me, you can go talk to Vic as well." I could feel my face harden. "Yeah, didn't think so." she started walking away, only to hesitate and turn back. "Molly may never know you and I certainly don't get you but Vic...it's something I'll never comprehend but even when you two hate one another, you still...you two understand each other on a level nobody else can." And with that she walked back into the great hall leaving me with what felt like several kicks to the gut. Not to mention shed just sent my brain into overload with the shit load of information she'd given me. Standing completely stunned I sorted it into an order I could deal with:

One. Molly had a crush on me, and I had to sort it before she got too delusional.

Two. Whatever went down with Tor and Stevenson had ended with something to do with me.

Three. My friends knew about it, and they hadn't told me.

Four. More than just me had noticed the change between me and Tor.

Five. She was thinking about that day, and us, just as much as I was.

Fuck.

Life just got way too complicated.

I shuffled slowly down the corridor so not in the mood to go back into the hall. My mind was still reeling. I'd thought that this year my biggest concern would be handling the fact I was a werewolf.

Ha.

Suddenly that appeared comparatively simple.

I paused, finding myself outside the broom closet where I'd fought with Tor last night.

My mind flashed back to that day. Dom was right, we were both way too proud. Still, I refused to believe it was all my fault. Maybe I shouldn't have dared her - or maybe I shouldn't have accepted her dare. Either way I guess that wasn't the problem, it was that damn kiss. I cringed thinking about it. It wasn't that it had been bad, at ten, and for my first kiss, I'd actually enjoyed it. That had been the problem. The kid in me freaked out because at that age I thoroughly believed boys weren't supposed to like kissing girls, couple that with the fact I'd never handled serious situations well and it had all gone downhill from there...

I watched as Tor stared at me with those blue, blue eyes.

I still couldn't believe she'd dared me to kiss her.

I guess it couldn't be that bad, I mean Tor had said that she didn't think so. But she'd never kissed anyone. And she didn't like me that way. Not that I liked her that way...at least I didn't think I did...but Tor was more important to me than anyone else.

What if I wasn't good enough?

What if it was terrible and I ruined it for her?

Well, it would be her fault wouldn't it?

For daring me?

And then I'd be right.

Get on with it Teddy!

I swallowed, "You ready?" I forced myself to sound calm but I knew she would be able to tell from my eyes that I wasn't, her Mama always talked about me having 'emotional eyes'. She didn't answer so I just leaned in, my voice getting quieter the closer I got. "Three, two...one"

Then I kissed her.

Her lips were warm and soft under my own, and it felt good. More than good. And I didn't really want to stop. But I had to because I wasn't supposed to like it and Tor wasn't allowed to beat me.

So I pulled back.

She didn't open her eyes.

She didn't want to look at me, she didn't like it, I'd ruined it.

In a panic, still buzzing from the kiss, I laughed. It wasn't my normal laugh but she snapped her eyes open and looked at me like I was the most horrible person in the world.

I couldn't believe it had been that bad for her.

She shouldn't have made me kiss her then!

"Well that was err," I began, she was looking at me like she was angry, so I lied quick, not stopping when I should have, I wanted her to hurt like I was hurting, "horrible. I told you kissing wasn't nice and now I know because I had to kiss you!"

I gulped.

I never should have said that to her.

But she was just as much to blame.

I remembered how embarrassed I was when she told the family that I'd forced her to kiss me. I'd hated her for it then. But it hadn't taken long to realise that Victoire had just been shamed because I hadn't liked kissing her. Because she hadn't won.

At least that's what I'd always believed. I'd never asked her about it, and maybe we should talk, because the little boy who'd lost his best friend that day and subsequently everything that mattered, wanted that friend back now, when he needed her the most.

But that would mean I had to apologise.

Gritting my teeth, I stormed on down the corridor pushing those stupid thoughts to the back of my mind.

I had other things to deal with, Molly for starters, and I had to speak to Wood, find out what the big secret between Tor and Stevenson was, and then I needed to find out how much Tor and Stevenson had blabbed about the wolf.

...

My planning was pointless though, because between homework and detention and getting over the events of the full moon I didn't get the opportunity to speak to Molly. She gave me a small smile whenever she passed me in a corridor and each time it shrouded me in guilt but other than that she had successfully evaded me. And I hadn't been able to approach the topic of Tor and Stevenson with any of my friends; I just didn't know where to begin. And as for Victoire, well she seemed to be keeping her distance as much as possible.

So, after all the forethought and prioritising, I found myself heading—reluctantly—down to the hospital wing three days later having overheard that Stevenson was finally conscious.

I walked into the large room filled with simple hospital style beds with blue and white linens. Glancing around, I noticed one bed had a curtain pulled around it, heading towards it because I assumed it was Stevenson's bed, I stopped still when I heard the argument.

"Why didn't you tell them it was a werewolf?" came the aggressive question that froze my feet to the floor. Stevenson.

"Because I didn't see a werewolf. It was dark and I was terrified. For all I know it could have been anything with hair and teeth." Tor's voice was adamant. But I knew she was lying because she'd had the best look at me possible, so why?

"You liar! You damn well know what it was!" Stevenson yelled at her and my hands balled into fists.

"No. You've been through a lot and you're not thinking straight, Henry." Henry. Merlin I hated the fact that she'd gone out with this prick. Kissed him. Fuck for all I knew she could have slept with him. My throat went tight at the thought, not Tor, not with him.

"Fuck you, I know what I saw." he responded to her placating tone.

"Whatever I just came to see you were alive. I'm going now." she said, her voice dismissive.

"I heard you by the way." he commented, quieter but nonetheless angry.

"What?" she seemed confused.

"You called out Teddy's name. Do you still not believe me? Honestly Tor, you could do so much better." I bit my tongue. She could do better, but him? He wasn't good enough for a pumpkin never mind Victoire Weasley.

"Like you? Ha. Right. Because every girl dreams of a guy who tries to force sex on her, parades her around like his personal trophy and then tells the whole school-" I could feel my hair tips turning red, my eyes black with fury. 'Force sex on her' the statement echoed through my mind, my heart pounding heavy, my pulse in my ears. Why had nobody told me how bad it had been? Did anyone even know or had Tor kept all this hidden?

"Haven't we been through this? It wasn't like I was lying. Besides I said I was sorry for that." he cut her off.

"You were lying! You made everyone think I was a slut for your own goddamn pride, and now you regret it because your parents liked me and you being a mummy's boy-" There was the distinct sound of skin hitting skin followed by a feminine shout. I went to leap forward but caught myself.

"Shut the fuck up!" he snapped.

"Bastard!" she screamed, and then ripped back the curtain and closed it behind her in one quick movement. Tor turned slowly, hand pressed to her cheekbone in a nursing cradle that caused anger to course through me with an ingrained protectiveness, clearly deep in thought. But in the next instant her eyes fell on me, and she went very still, her hand dropping to her side. I quickly made a gesture to tell her not to give away that I was there for both our sakes.

Hesitantly, she walked towards me, her eyes still boring into mine, making me inexplicably nervous. She came to a stop in front of me her eyes still fixed on my face. This close I really couldn't believe how beautiful she was, but that thought was overpowered when I noticed the sudden realisation in those eyes of pristine blue that widened and flashed.

"You," she whispered her voice soft but definite, "I knew I recognised those eyes." I gulped but held her gaze however her next words held the impact of a killing curse. "You're the werewolf."


Thank you for reading and waiting to read :)

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