The Harrowing Heat Wave
Sheldon Cooper was the kind of boy Penny's friends laughed at in high school. He was immature and arrogant. He collected toys and comic books, he loved trains to an absolute fault and the very idea of wearing jeans seemed foreign to him. He was lanky and skinny, half of the people she worked with at the Cheesecake Factory thought he was gay.
They didn't fit, Penny knew that. She was outgoing and fun, she loved to be around people and wear fancy clothes. She was a hugger and a hand holder, she loved to kiss and be intimate.
For all intents and purposes… they didn't belong together.
But she loved him. It wasn't even a thought she hid from anymore. It wasn't even the idea of him, the idea of this genius boy who was everything she never wanted. No it was him because Leonard was smart enough to challenge her every single day, but it didn't hurt like this with Leonard. A part of Penny wondered if it was the race to try and catch him, the idea of trying to seduce him. But no… because she wasn't looking to change who he was, she didn't want him to suddenly wear jeans or tousle his hair. There was no desire for him to give up on the things he loved or not stop and awe whenever he saw a train set in the window of a toy store.
It was every single one of those things that she adored about him. It was him, no one else in the world but him had ever made her skin go numb at the touch, her mind go blank with a look.
Even today when she was hit on by a customer who not only had an accent, but was a writer and an artist with broad shoulders and magnificent cheek bones, she turned him away.
He was only wearing one shirt and it didn't have the logo of a comic book character on it. That just wouldn't do for her anymore.
Penny dated lately to find love, she didn't have too anymore.
It was the last thought that crossed her mind after Amy went on about her poopy pillowcases but she fell asleep in the sweet feeling of her love for him.
That was two days ago and though she was still dealing with a bit of the sniffles, she was well enough to work and desperate enough for money to drag herself there yesterday. She thought they might fire her if she missed hamburger day.
Penny quietly likes that she's the only one who can handle Sheldon's hamburger order. The only one he allows too.
What was odd however was the distance she'd felt from the both of them upon her getting well. Sure she'd been busy with work and her newest audition for a cat litter commercial that she was just now coming home from, but still… she missed them.
Amy wouldn't answer her phone which was strange, though she most likely assumed it had something to do with her work, Amy, like Sheldon, was not opposed to isolation when her research was making strides.
Penny wasn't letting that bother her tonight though, it was Wednesday and she wasn't on the schedule at work. For the first time… ever, she was absolutely giddy about Halo night.
She was in her apartment and putting on her favorite pair of sweats when her cell phone rang.
"Uh," she answered awkwardly as she didn't recognize the number. "Hello?"
"Penny?" The voice was a bit muffled, but she knew it well enough.
At the door to leave her apartment, she stopped. "Leonard… hey." She tried to sound chipper but the tone died in her throat. It had been a little over a week and Leonard hadn't even sent her a text, now he was calling. "How's New Jersey?"
The sounds of a honking horn filled the earpiece and she pulled it away. "Sorry, traffic is crazy here but we're all having a really good time."
"Oh," she smiled a bit at the clear happiness in his voice. "Well good, I'm glad you guys are enjoying it."
Leonard cleared his throat. "Yeah, how's everything back home, has Sheldon burned down the village yet?"
A soft hint of anger rose up in Penny's chest and it confused the holy hell out of her. Leonard was teasing, he always did about Sheldon… but it made her defensive. "No, we're doing fine. I was about to head over and fill your spot in Halo."
"I do miss Halo night," Leonard said a bit dreamily before laughing softly. "It's good to know that everything is still pretty much the same."
Penny's stomach flipped over at the insinuation that things were normal. So far from normal that if she were to tell him the truth, Leonard would probably pass out in the middle of the New Jersey turnpike. "Yeah, pretty much."
A small pause rose between them and Penny started to tap her foot. Thankfully, Leonard found his voice. "So listen the reason I called," She felt her eyes close in a bit of remorse, she didn't love Leonard in the same ways he did, sure. But a part of her wished that her friend had actually called to talk to her. "I need Amy's number."
This drew Penny's attention. "Amy? Why?"
"We're going to this really great lecture on neurobiology and it's going to have some Q and A and a little give and take and I'd like to pick her brain about it so I don't look like an idiot just sitting there." He finished with a laugh and Penny softened.
She ran off Amy's number to him and checked the clock. It was 8:03, no doubt Amy and Sheldon were back from the comic book store and he was impatiently waiting for her on the couch. "Listen, I really should get over to Sheldon's before he gives me a strike or something."
"Oh yeah true, he'll probably give me one for keeping you on the phone. It uh, it was good to hear your voice Penny." He said and she knew it was a lie because it wasn't a thrill for her to hear his voice either. "Have fun blowing up Sheldon."
Penny smiled despite herself. "I will, be safe."
With that she hung up and tossed her phone onto the couch, not wishing for any disturbances to Halo night.
Walking across the hall she was right in her assumption as Sheldon eyed her dangerously and held his controller tight between his fingers. She saw an open container of Indian food waiting for her and smiled, she was starving.
She smiled of course and rubbed Amy's shoulder as she brushed past her and took her spot on the couch next to him.
"Sorry sweetie, Leonard called me so you can blame him."
Sheldon scoffed. "Oh, I will." He then fired the game up.
Penny then turned to Amy sitting on the far cushion of the couch to her left. She smiled as she always did and when it was returned, it lacked something. It didn't reach her friends eyes and at first Penny thought it was the glare from the kitchen light off her glasses but that wasn't right. Amy was upset about something, Penny could tell. "Hey, you okay?" She asked quietly and away from Sheldon.
"I'm fine." Amy responded flatly, but nothing different from her usual tone. "Today was just a slow and underachieving experience. Nothing new, I suppose, just slicing open brains and trying to figure out why they failed their owners. Plucking out tumors like the way monkey's pick ticks off the backs of one another. Though I don't eat the tumors afterwards."
A bit of bile rose up in her throat as she dropped the piece of food she was about to eat back into the tray and shook the image from her head. "Right,"
Once the game started things were quiet save for Sheldon's cries of foul whenever Penny would kill him. Amy didn't play so it was just the two of them and whatever bunch of players they could find online.
Penny could feel Amy watching her and not in the normal way she would sometimes. There was no adoration and joy in her eyes, it was a study, as if she were trying to tell Penny something but had lost the words.
An hour passed and when Penny took Sheldon down for the eighteenth time that night, he stood up and slammed his controller onto his spot.
Both girls jumped, but Penny was grinning. "What's the matter, MoonPie?" She teased and he glowered at her.
"Don't," his warn was simple and direct and to be honest… it shut her up.
She raised her hands in surrender. "Sorry, we'll take a break." Penny said before returning to her food. As Sheldon stalked off to the kitchen to dispose of his trash, Penny turned back to Amy who was sitting very still on the end of the couch. "Come on, Ames, talk to me… that's what best friends are for, right?"
"Do you remember the evening that you were ill in bed and I cared for you?" Amy asked, her tone still too quiet.
Penny nodded. "Of course, you started talking about Ricky putting poo in your pillow and then something… disturbing about your cousin and I passed out." While she spoke, Penny tried to replay that night in her head to find something that could have been done to upset her friend. This had to be the reason Amy hadn't answered her calls. Penny had had tiffs before with her friends, but those ones didn't matter because those people didn't matter. With Amy, Penny held more responsibility, Amy's heart wasn't strong enough to be hurt by her first real friend.
That's why her feelings for Sheldon had to stay locked away and eat at her insides. Better she die from quiet hurt than wound anyone else in her wake.
"That must be where the medicine took away your cognitive thought process. That's quite interesting. Listen… Penny may I speak with you for a moment?" Amy stood. "Outside?" Confused, Penny rose to her feet and followed before giving a weak excuse to Sheldon about girl talk.
Once the door shut, Penny took a sip of her soda and watched as Amy fidgeted from side to side. "You're in love with Sheldon." Amy's voice was quick and sudden, like the swinging of a blade right through Penny's chest.
The soda can she was holding fell heavy on the ground, fizzing as its contents spilled onto the carpet below them.
Penny backed into Sheldon's closed apartment door as if she'd just been slapped. "Amy?" She whispered and covered her mouth.
"No, no… I'm not upset Penny. Baffled yes but anger is not an emotion I am feeling."
She started to shake her head violently. "I'm sorry… I'm so sorry."
In a flash, Amy had Penny gathered up in her arms and was patting her like a small child.
Penny wasn't crying, she was just shaking and clinging to her best friend for dear life.
"I must say I have never seen this before." Amy stated flatly as she stroked her hands through Penny's hair. "You seem to be in a state of emotional shock… in the words of my mother the day I came home with head lice, you got it bad!"
Laughing in spite of herself, Penny pulled away and took a long, steadying breath. "It doesn't matter. If he turned you away I don't stand a chance."
"You think that I'm a better mate?"
"For Sheldon, absolutely, you're smart and fun and beautiful… you're everything he could want, you can talk to him… I—I'm just a waitress and I failed science three times in high school. I don't know what's happening to me, it's Sheldon and I'm going insane over him."
Amy was shaking her head with a lopsided smile. "Humble and beautiful, if I was a man I'd have bought you a Winnebago and we'd be traveling the country together, making love in front of various landmarks across the country. I wrote a Melrose Place fanfiction story kind of like that once, you see—"
"Amy," Penny cut her off with an awkward smile. "You can't tell Sheldon."
"Oh no, I would never break the girl code."
Penny nodded slowly. "Right… the girl code."
That's when Sheldon's door opens and Penny squealed as she began to fall over because she was leaning against it.
Of course Sheldon caught her; she held her breath in his arms and stares into his eyes. His gaze was irritated, but his grip is strong and protective and Penny knew she was reading far too much into every single movement he made. But dammit he caught her, her hero.
Fuck… she was in deep.
Almost a second later, Sheldon was practically pushing her up to her feet and wiping his hands on his khaki pants. "While you two sows were out mucking through the slop out here, I was preparing us for another round of Halo."
"Did he just call us female pigs?" Penny asked, remembering when her daddy used to tell her to wrestle up the sows for wash.
Amy crossed her arms over her chest. "I think we find a new activity for tonight, something that all three of us can partake in."
Both Penny and Sheldon sent her a worried look. Sheldon's changed rather quickly to dismissal but Penny could see the scheming in her friend's eyes.
"Tonight is Halo night, Amy. I'm sorry if you do not care to participate or learn the rules and controls of the game but that is your own choice, we will not be changing." With that, Sheldon sat down on the couch and picked up his controller. That was when Amy stepped in front of the television and shut it off.
Sheldon gasped and Penny covered her mouth to hide her slight smile. "Amy… you are on your way to earning a strike."
"Ooh," she feigned fear and waved her hands in the air. "You cannot begrudge strikes upon me because you and I do not have any written documentation that binds us to each other in any way. For all intents and purposes, I am merely a strange traveler who has wandered into your apartment in search of shelter and fresh hooch."
Penny decided to step in. "Sheldon, sweetie do we really have to play Halo and leave poor Amy out?"
"I have a third controller, she could join us."
"Nope." Amy said easily before smiling toothily at Sheldon.
With a heavy sigh, Sheldon stood and licked his lips. "Then I must ask you to leave, I will speak with you at the University tomorrow."
"You can't kick her out!" Penny cried but Amy was already heading for the door.
"It's fine, I should probably get home anyways, my neighbor is a sleepwalker and if I don't make it back to my apartment before he falls asleep he'll catch me in the hallway and try and make me eat the eggs he believes he's 'cooked' on his kitchen table. He is quite handsome though, I'm hoping one day he'll sleep knock on my door and then sleep mount me up against some sort of wall or doorframe." She smirked a bit and then winked slightly at Penny. "Enjoy your evening, Bestie."
Then she was gone and Penny was burying her face in her hands. Amy had intentionally gotten herself kicked out so they would be alone.
A part of her was grateful to be alone with Sheldon but the other was scared shitless. Being alone with Sheldon wasn't good for her, he was a different person when they were alone. He listened to her, talked to her without the constraints of any surrounding force. He was himself with her, more so than he was in any other situation and she knew it.
If anything, being alone with him would make getting over him that much harder.
But like the good little masochist she was, Penny craved the misery of her love.
Quietly, she sat down next to him on the couch in what she desperately referred to as her spot and accepted the controller from him with a smile.
They played in the silence of one another for another hour.
Penny found it pleasantly odd that even ten minutes after he'd shut the Xbox off, he still hadn't asked her to leave. He had moved to his computer desk and was typing away at his keyboard while she sat on the couch, totally leaning over in his spot, and watched reruns of Friends.
"This was one of Missy's many misconceptions." Sheldon said casually as Penny muted the TV.
"What?"
He turned a bit to face her. "When the show you are watching first came on she watched the pilot episode and proclaimed that it would not last to a second season. The show then went on for ten and she was wrong."
Her brow quirked. "You remember that," then her mind caught up to his crazy. "Right… eidetic memory… I forgot." Sheldon grinned softly, without force and it made Penny swallow a new lump in her throat. "I love this show."
"It doesn't surprise me. It plays to the hormonal instincts within you to find love and friendship and all of those many things that have plagued society for years."
That was why she hated being so head over heels about him. "Why are you so against feeling anything?"
He shrugged. "Did you know that the largest known ant supercolony was on the Ishikari coast of Hokkaidō, Japan. The colony was estimated to contain 306 million worker ants and one million queen ants living in 45,000 nests interconnected by underground passages over an area of 2.7 kilometers."
Penny's eyes went wide and her body itched with invisible bugs. "Wh—what does that have to do with anything?"
"Without emotions and the ties that we humans all seem to be bound by, ants have, with limited size and mobility, created wondrous things that would seem far beyond their reach. If our society took that approach to living… perhaps this world would be far greater than it is now."
A small smile played on her lips as he watched her and waited. "if we all acted like ants… who would sing you Soft Kitty when you're sick?"
Penny got him, she knew it the second he tried to speak and failed. Triumph filled her body as she thought for only a moment and let out a low sigh. "I suppose if we had neighboring plots in the colony, I would still ask you." It was a joke and he exhaled his breathy little laugh and refocused on his work.
She hated the affect he had on her, without even trying she was ready to hand over her soul to him. She couldn't give him her heart, the bastard already had that. "What are you doing over there?" She asked softly, trying to peer past him to the screen.
"Working on a presentation I must give next Monday." He said simply before turning back to the screen.
Penny wasn't really interested in anything else about it, she didn't try to talk about his work with him. Usually those conversations made her feel stupid, made him feel superior and led them fighting which Penny knew now would only make her want to jump him.
Feeling a bit buzzed (she had drank a little bit of wine that she'd grabbed from her apartment in the middle of Halo) she took a risk. "Why don't you come and sit with me, I'll let you pick the show we watch."
"I'm busy." He said passively and never stopped typing.
She frowned and pouted her lips out a bit. "Please, it's cold over here." That was a lie, it was at least ninety degrees in his apartment.
He sighed heavily and turned around again to look at her. There was something he had prepared to say but when he looked at her it died on his lips. She noticed that he looked away quickly and it made her flush a heavy crimson.
"Come on," she pleaded again. "I won't even complain if it's animated."
It was hot in the summer in Pasadena, Penny knew this… and she also knew that she was carrying with her a slight glisten on the exposed skin of her collarbone and cleavage. Her hair felt faintly damp and sticky atop her head. She was tipsy and lonely and in love with the boy who was slowly rising from his computer chair and moving too her.
He slid down slowly into his spot, he was hot too and she couldn't blame him with both of his shirts on and those pants and… Penny couldn't stop herself from slipping over just a little bit closer to him.
As he took the remote, Sheldon quickly found an episode of an animated Star Wars show on his TIVO and started it up.
"You smell good," Penny said and wanted to bury herself in a pit for sounding so stupid.
Sheldon slanted a gaze at her. "I shower frequently." He then refocused on the television. "Your marginally intoxicated state is unpleasant."
Penny frowned. "Sorry,"
"No need to apologize."
Suddenly she was trying to sober up, to find those traces of intelligence inside of her that would draw her away from him. She could feel the heat coming off his body, she wondered what kind of heat they could make together.
She realized she was sitting overwhelmingly straight and very aware of every single part of her body.
Each inch of her ached with a want to reach out and touch him, she wanted to kiss him and maybe run her fingers through his hair.
But when she looked at him, he was idle and focused on his show, paying her no mind at all.
That was when she lost control and slowly lowered her head to his shoulder. He was warm and if she closed her eyes and pretended, perhaps he was welcoming to her presence in his personal space.
When he shrugged her off, the vision was shattered. "Perhaps you should, as they say, sleep it off Penny, you're not of your right mind at the moment."
"I know." She whispered sadly, he would never be the guy in her dreams.
Penny stood on shaky legs and offered a weak goodnight before retreating to her own apartment like a properly scolded puppy.
The moment she stepped inside she heard her phone buzzing its long, left over message buzz against the material of her couch cushion.
Walking over in a rush, she picked it up and her jaw went slack.
16 Missed Calls
Swallowing hard, she pressed a button and saw that most of them were from her mother, two from her sister and a few from her parent's landline.
She quickly called back her mother, frantic now to find sobriety.
It only rang once when the call was answered.
"Penny?" It was her father.
She settled on the arm of the couch. "Dad, what's wrong?" She knew it was something, in the pit of her stomach… she knew.
"It's…," when her dad cleared his throat to fight back tears, Penny's fell like waterfalls. "Penny your brother's gone."
Her heart sank. "He ran away! Dad that'll only make it worse for him."
"No, Slugger… no." He never called her that anymore, she thought might be sick. "He's gone… he killed himself."
"What?" She cried, nearly dropping her phone as she slid into the cushions of the couch as each limb of her body went numb.
On the other end, she heard a few scattered voices before the deep and commanding tone of her dad returned. "Penny, honey can you find any way to get out here… your mother needs you."
"Oh God… Daddy." She was crying now, steadily and rocking back and forth in her spot. "I'll… find a way to get there tomorrow… I'll find a way… oh Billy." She bit her lip hard to stop from sobbing and exchanged a weak goodbye with her dad before hanging up.
All she could see was Billy when he was ten years old, riding his bike up and down the driveway of the farm. Wearing that stupid Ninja Turtles shirt and chasing after the chickens only to be yelled at by their mom.
Penny tried to stand and stumbled hard over her coffee table. She was pretty sure she broke her pinky toe but her feet kept moving as she left her apartment in a haze, unsure of if she even shut the door behind her.
She knocked softly a few times after turning the knob to find it locked.
It only took him a few seconds to answer, it felt like an hour.
Sheldon took in the sight of her, she could feel the worry in his eyes for not only her but himself as he didn't handle any of this well.
Tentatively, he spoke. "What's happened?"
"My brother… he's…," she couldn't finish it and Sheldon didn't need her too.
He stepped away from the door and she stumbled in. Penny heard him race across the hall behind her and she knew he was closing her door.
When he came back she was sitting in her spot, knees curled up under her chin but she was no longer crying… just in a fog.
Slowly, he moved back to his spot and sat down, turning the TV off and awkwardly placing his hands on his knees.
Penny felt him moving before she saw him, he fidgeted and must have rethought his approach ten times before she felt his arm drape over her shoulder finally.
She sunk into his body, ignoring his quivers of discomfort and relishing in the fact that he didn't stop holding her.
Her dad's voice had made her cry earlier, for now she was just dazed, unable to cry the tears that were damming up at the backs of her eyes.
Through the night, Sheldon never let her go.
