"What's up with him?" Jean asked as Eren and the rest of the cadets were heading off to lunch.

Eren turned to see what Horse-face was talking about and immediately understood his confusion.

Cain must have mistakenly bumped into Armin or something to that extent because he was sputtering apologies nonstop. Armin looked thoroughly confused, but Eren knew what happened last night—the manic joy that was present there was currently in his eyes now.

"C-Cain," Armin said, laughing good-naturedly. "Really, it's fine. I'm not hurt, see?"

"S-sorry…" Cain muttered for the umpteenth time.

After that, Eren decided to keep a closer eye on Cain—and to be honest, he wasn't too surprised by what he found. He was skittish every time his best friend was nearby and would always step out of his way whenever they were walking anywhere. If he lightly brushed him then he'd jump away like he had just caught fire.

He wasn't the only one who noticed this.

"Now Cain's acting weird too," Reiner commented a few days later as they were getting ready for bed, "and it's only around Armin. This is seriously starting to worry me."

"I wonder if it's Armin's doing?" Connie asked, "Like, he psychologically destroyed him with his mind powers or something!"

The green-eyed brunette laughed to himself. That pretty much did happen, didn't it? He thought to himself.

"Armin isn't that smart," Jean claimed, crossing his arms. "You treat him like he's some genius or something!"

"Actually," Thomas said, "He's the top of the class academically. I checked this morning when our scores on the last test came out."

Jean scoffed. "S-so? He reads a lot! You need to be able to strategize in a pinch, and he thinks things over too much!"

Eren was about to get up and hit him when Reiner scoffed back. "As if," he replied, "it was his plan that saved Krista during that one exercise, remember? That's good strategizing when I see it."

"Yeah," Nack agreed, "we would have been screwed if not for him."

The two-toned brunette growled. "But he's physically weak," he tried.

"Why are you so intent on downing my best friend!?" Eren finally demanded.

"Yeah, you kinda sound like an ass," Connie agreed, "Armin's pretty chill. What'd he do to you?"

Jean got red in the face. "I-I'm going to the bathroom," he said, rushing out of the room and doing just that.

Eren thought for a moment. "I need to go too," he said absentmindedly, following him.

"I bet my dinner Eren's gonna beat the shit out of him," he heard Connie say as he left.


"H-how did you hear about that?"

Eren stopped by the door to the bathrooms, not surprised to see Jean being confronted by his best friend. It was exactly like last time, except he wasn't in such a dire need to relieve himself so he can handle the situation better.

Or so he thought.

"I have my ways," Armin said vaguely, "I'm actually surprised. I thought we were going to get along, but oh well…"

"W-what the hell do you mean by that!?" Jean demanded, "You sound like you're about to murder me or something!"

The green-eyed brunette sighed. He actually wouldn't be too surprised if Armin pulled a knife on him and did just that—with his recent behavior Eren had begun to question his best friend's sanity.

That's rather coincidental.

It is, isn't it?

"That would make me feel better," Armin admitted, shocking the two of them. "However that would be way too messy and risky where we are now. I'm not one of those revenge types who has to advertize what I've done to you—in fact, quite a few mishaps with your gear has been due to your constant fighting with Eren and bothering Mikasa. Makes you a bit hesitant to cross me, doesn't it?"

Jean's face grew red. "Y-you little—"

"However," Armin cut him off, "I've long since gotten used to childish insults and gossiping about how useless I am, so I won't tell everyone about your crush on Mikasa."

It took all of Eren's willpower to refrain from laughing. Everyone already knew about Jean's crush except for Jean himself.

"Y-you wouldn't dare!" Jean gasped, horrified.

"No, I wouldn't," Armin confessed, "because it wouldn't be news. Everyone else already knows—Mikasa complains about you a lot."

Jean gasped, stepping back as Eren put a hand over his mouth. Luckily Jean wasn't Cain, so instead of his best friend being sadistically dominating, he was merely hurting Jean's feelings with the truth to knock him down a peg or two—probably because Jean doesn't harass him as much as Cain did. He usually didn't irritate anyone but Eren, but Marco was convinced that he was nice, so everyone else was inclined to agree.

"I-I…" Jean looked like he was asphyxiating on embarrassment with how wide his mouth was and the choking sounds coming from his throat.

"But," Armin pointed out with a smile, "I will tell people how you really are interested in Marco and only think of Mikasa as a pretty doll with skill—of course, that's just you giving up on trying to repress your true desires…though I'll admit you have good taste—Marco's a nice guy. If I swung that way then I'd probably crush on him second. Eren would be my first, but Mikasa wouldn't appreciate that, and since you call dibs on Marco I'd still end up like I am now—single and most certainly not ready to mingle."

Eren gaped at Armin. Once again he was baffled by his best friend—how the hell did he figure that out? And why would he be his first choice?

"Don't worry," Armin said when Jean didn't respond, "I'm not humiliating you based on your sexuality. I could care less what who envision being on top of—or under, if you're like that—just your embarrassment when people realize that you've been crushing on your best friend for the longest time."

Okay, this was starting to get weird in Eren's opinion. Armin was always one who clammed up when it came to sexuality—he was pretty much an innocent angel who became flustered when a private body part was even implied, let alone sex.

"Are you a top or bottom?" Armin asked, much to Jean and Eren's dismay.

"T-that's not your business!" Jean exploded, "I-In fact, none of this is your business! What gives you the right to do this to me?!"

"Me," Armin said simply, "You did something I don't approve of, so I'm inclined to take matters into my hands. Don't worry though—you don't bother me that much, but you should be more respectful to Eren and Mikasa. I may be impartial to who you want to fuck, but some others are not—as smart as I am, I'm not too sure I can curb the harassment you'll get, so I'll apologize in advance."

The two brunettes were reeling. Did Armin just curse?

Even when he was dehumanizing Cain Armin didn't utter anything worse than "hell". Where did the sudden language come from? Why did it come from there?

"You think pulling some fucked up blackmailing strategy out of your ass will work on me!?" Jean demanded angrily.

"Well that's where I usually pull all of my strategies from," Armin said with a laugh, "because I'm usually just flying from the seat of my pants."

Eren couldn't help but be amused by this confrontation. It wasn't too bad—

"It's also where I pull my murder plots from," the blonde added.

…he spoke too soon.

When the hell did murder come across his friend's mind? Again, this is the boy who loves moths and bees, so taking human lives should be revolting.

"I-I'll leave your damn friends alone," Jean muttered, "J-just…stuff those plots back up your ass, okay?"

"Will do," Armin agreed, smiling. "Now we should head back to the barracks. It'll be lights out soon. You can come out now Eren."

Jean jumped when Eren tripped over himself in surprise, falling right into their view.

"W-what the hell Yeager!?" Jean demanded, going to grab his shirt.

"Jean."

The two-toned brunette stopped in his tracks at the sudden authority in Armin's voice.

"We just discussed this," the blonde said exasperatedly, like a child who got his hand stuck in the cookie jar right before dinner. "You really are a glutton for punishment, aren't you?"

"I-I'm sorry!" Jean cried out, "P-please don't—"

"I'm not," Armin replied, "just don't screw up again, okay?"

Jean nodded, looking at the floor. "Y-yeah…"

Eren stood and scratched his head as Jean left. Now it was just the two of them, and he had no idea how to handle the situation.

"What is it Eren?" Armin asked innocently, all traces sociopathic tendencies gone from his expression. He looked like he normally did—though after a second glance he noted that Armin was hiding something.

"Alright," Eren said, crossing his arms. "You have a lot of explaining to do."