This chapter is a little on the short side, I know where I want to go next but if I had put them together this would've been an enormous chapter and I'm getting tired so my apologies for this shortness of this chapter. I will hopefully have the next chapter up sometime this week. We switch perspectives at one point in this chapter and I'm planning a couple more switches in the future, I've liked telling this from Moira's perspectives but other people's POVs are going to become important, though primarily it will still be from Moira's POV. Well, here's the chapter. Please enjoy!
Chapter 7
I walked back out onto the porch with two mugs of tea, I passed one to John as I walked over to the chair where Ben was still sleeping. As he had been for the last hour.
"I called Dr. Fletcher," I said. "He was the one who examined him right after we found him, diagnosed the amnesia. He was a doctor in a major hospital in Birmingham before he decided he was tired of the city and opened a small practice here about 5 years ago, he's in the process of retiring now. I don't really know what the town's going to do. The next closest general doctor is two towns away, which is frightfully inconvenient. Anyway, he'd seen a lot of head injuries and I trusted his judgment and at the time Ben…Sherlock…wasn't really fit for travel with the pneumonia."
"What did he say," John asked softly. Eyes fixed on the sleeping figure in front of us.
"He said it's a good sign that he was recalling parts of conversations that he hadn't been told about or read before."
"I hear a 'but.'"
"But…the fit he had…is not a good sign. It could be too much for his brain. Pushing him too hard too quickly could do more harm than good."
John sighed and let his head hang.
"He did this in the beginning. Not quite as bad but…similar."
His head came up again. "What do you mean?"
"During the worst of the fever. He would babble, shout, it was actually more physical than this, I thought he was seizing half the time. I practically had to lie on top of him to keep him still. But his words weren't as coherent. No full phrases, just garbled words, half the time I couldn't even understand it. And I was too focused on trying to calm him to try to remember what he said."
I moved from where I'd been leaning on the porch railing to sit beside Ben, taking his left hand that lay across his stomach. "He'd always sleep like this after an episode. Deep and long. He didn't remember when he woke up."
"We're done with this."
I turned to see John's face, set and decided. "What do you mean?"
"We're done. You were right. He's not my Sherlock anymore. My Sherlock is gone. He may not have died when he jumped off that building but he's dead now. And I won't watch whomever he is now suffering just because I want a few answers. Sod me. Sod the world. He's happy here. Maybe happier than he's ever been when there wasn't a serial killer for him to chase down. He's done more than enough for the people of this world and half of them called him a freak for what he could do. Here he's appreciated. He's bloody loved."
"John-"
"No, Moira. We're done. It's done." He stood up and started walking back into the house.
"Where are you going? You can't just leave!" I called after him frantically.
"I'm not." He turned to face me. "I'm going inside to call the job I've hated in the city I've been miserable in for the last two years and I'm quitting. Your town just got a new general doctor."
I gaped at him. "You're…you're moving here?"
He turned fierce eyes on Ben. "I lost my best friend once. I'd like the chance to get to know who he is now."
He looked over at me. "You're going to have to share, Moira," he said, a small smile crinkling his mouth, teasing in his voice.
"John," I said, and I could hear the tears filling my eyes.
"Moira," came a murmur to our right. Both our heads swung around to see Ben blinking sleepily up at us. "What happened?"
I looked over at John. "Nothing. You read the journal and you must've dozed off."
He opened and shut his bleary eyes. "I was talking…did I talk?"
I hesitated. "A little…"
"What did I say? Did I…did I remember anything?" He looked fearful. I despised myself at that moment. For pushing him so hard, for thinking of all the things he could do for the world and not thinking enough of him.
"No. At least nothing that made much sense. Just a dream I think. You said something about wanting to try horseback riding again."
His brows drew down. "That had to have been a dream. Nothing could ever tempt me to attempt that embarrassment again."
I gave John a bright smile. "You really should've seen it, John. Absolutely priceless. I've always regretted the lack of a camera."
John smiled at the pair of us. "I'm very sorry I missed it."
Ben scowled at us before slowly reaching for the journal again. "I guess…I should read some more, see if anything triggers."
I covered his hand. "Wait a minute. We wanted to ask you something. Something we realized we haven't done the last couple days."
He looked at our joined hands a moment. "What?"
"Is this what you want? To remember? Or do you want to put this aside and just…live the life you've made here?"
He looked between us, confused. "But…but you said, the people I helped…"
"I know. I know what I said. And I was wrong. Wrong to push you. Wrong to tell you what you needed to do. I thought…you deserved more. To have back the exciting life you used to have instead of being stuck up here in the country with me. And I guess I was scared. Scared of being alone again so I wanted it over sooner rather than later. But I should've been thinking about you and what you wanted and I want to know what you want now. We both do."
He looked at the journal. "I can just…forget about this? Carry on as we have been?"
"If it's what you want," John said gently.
"But…what about you? You deserve to know why I…did what I did."
He walked forward and put a hand on my shoulder. "Moira told me something a few nights ago that I don't think I ever really thought about before. She said that it seemed to her like you would only have done what you did if you were trying to protect me. You could be cold, but you were never really cruel. And only to people who deserved it. Never to me. That's enough for me."
"Really?" There was relief in his voice and I felt my heart twist. How could I have pushed him when he obviously didn't want this?
"Really. Though I do want to talk to you about something else."
"Of course."
"I would very much like it if we could be friends. And I've been, well, to be honest, completely miserable in London since, well…since. And Moira mentioned that the general doctor is retiring and I was thinking of…relocating. Moira has been a wonderful friend to me and I'd like to see more of her and…I'd really like the chance to get to know you as well."
A slow smile bloomed on Ben's face. "I would like that very much." He squeezed the hand I was still holding and held out his right hand to John.
"Ben," he said simply.
John reached out to shake his hand. "John."
"Oh, damnit. That's done it," I said before throwing and arm around each of their necks and laughing through my tears.
SJMSJMSJM
Well-hidden several hundred yards away, a figure lowered binoculars and turned down the volume on the listening device in his ear. The range and clarity of the microscopic microphones that had been installed throughout the farm and its property made him glad for his forethought in preparing for this final mission. Though he felt the rage swell at the overheard conversation.
It would not do to punish a man by taking away those he loved when he couldn't even remember them. The others assigned to this mission had been removed from play, brutally, he recalled but their targets no longer mattered. This target, this most important target was the one that had really mattered. The one that would have done the most damage. But while he was well-known for his patience, after 2 years, even the strongest man's patience wears thin and he had no intention of just waiting around for the doctor to become someone of importance. He could remove the girl, he thought, she mattered, but he suspected she mattered more than the former great detective could admit. That he could wait for…if he had to. Wait for the unacknowledged feelings to bubble up. Or. He could give them a bit of a push. And have a bit of fun while he was at it.
SJMSJMSJM
After both men had awkwardly tried to comfort me through my tears we were all still sitting around on the porch. Ben looked over at me as I glanced for the first time in many minutes out at the fields.
"You have to go work."
"I've got time."
"No, you don't."
"No, I don't. But I'm the boss, it's alright."
"It will eat you alive if you don't go. Go ahead, we're fine here."
I looked between them, biting my lip. "You sure?"
He rolled his eyes and looked at John. "She's a regular mother hen, I swear. Always clucking around."
"I do not cluck!"
"Yes, you do. Now go. We'll see you later."
John was chuckling and Ben was grinning at me and I could not remember feeling quite so hopeful in so long. "Why don't we go into town tonight? I'll get some of the other lads as well. We'll make it a pub night. We haven't been in a few weeks. John can meet some of the locals, Dr. Fletcher usually has dinner there a couple nights a week, you can talk to him about the practice if you're serious about it."
"Should probably find out about a place to stay as well. Sounds great though."
I hesitated on the steps. "Well…you could always stay here. I mean. It's not like I don't have the room."
He stared at me. "Moira. That's…an incredibly generous offer but I couldn't-"
"I'm asking. If you want to work out something with rent or something, we will but…I'd like it very much if you stayed. It's…nice having people around." I nodded at Ben. "This one's taken the cottage so it's just me up here a fair bit of the time and…I don't mind the company. Just…think about it, yea?"
I gave him a quick, nervous smile before walking down the back steps. "I'll see you two later, try not to get into any mischief!" I called to them as I walked down the path away from the house, away from their stares and towards what was going to be a long day's work.
Well, I hope that was worth it, again my apologies for the length. The beginning of the next chapter, if all goes as planned will pick up immediately after this with what the boys are thinking before I go back to Moira. Hope you're all enjoying this, I've got a few summer program deadlines coming up so that's been taking a lot of my attention the last couple days but once those are all done I'll be back to hopefully getting more of this story out sooner! Reviews are loved!
