A/N: Just finished editing, if you saw the earlier draft, I apologize for the errors you may have encountered, they should be fixed now =) Thanks to all my reviewers! You guys are awesome! =) 3
B r oke n Mind
Every man gets his wish
So where is mine?
If there is such thing as fate (as people like to think) than that means he's fated for failure because everything that's happened in his life points in that direction. His ambitions are in the making, he's not giving up, nor does he care about the ramifications on anyone else. He is proud of his abilities.
His main problem is his health above anything. Forget all the shit going on with Sasuke, that is not Naruto's concern. This year has been really rough emotionally and physically. They say that people going through mental disorders like depression also get physical symptoms. He likes to pretend nothing is happening internally, but he has come clean about his suicidal thoughts on a couple occasions. They are shinobi, being hurt is something they are accustomed to, and pain is irrelevant, her eyes shut tightly as she remembers how lifeless his eyes were as he spoke to her.
Naruto and Sakura were comfortable with each other to the point that they tend to walk in the others house unannounced. This has caused Sakura to give Naruto a fair amount of concussions, but there was one day, the day before she left to join Sasuke that she walked into his home to find a puddle of blood on the floor, and Naruto rambling a half-assed excuse about not being able to cut an apple. Eventually he told her the truth.
"I was just alone, in my kitchen, just staring at the stack of black knives when I decided I was hungry. So, I got an apple, grabbed a knife and starting cutting but the knife slipped and cut me and the thing is Sakura-chan…I pressed it in deeper. I don't really even know why! So don't get any crazy ideas, but honestly...I don't really know. It didn't cut my finger, it was my palm and I just kept letting it bleed by pushing the knife. I felt like I was in a trance, I thought about all the people on the battlefield dying to protect me, practically by these hands right here and next thing I knew, I put the knife to my chest, I was going to do it but then I heard a noise from outside my door and that's when I realized what I was doing, set the knife down and cleaned my hand. I didn't mean to scare you, I'm sorry."
She cried for hours that day. She stayed with him until nightfall, just talking about how fucked up everything has gotten. They've all been there, kill or be killed, right? Sometimes she would purposely not avoid an attack she saw coming. Sometimes she'd wait just a little too long to bring herself to the hospital. These days, every day, all the time, being a shinobi seemed more and more meaningless.
Because really
We're all positively insane
So tell me,
Do you like the taste
Of being submerged in glittering liquid?
Chapte S eVen
Sakura'sPOV
August 27th, 2013
6:46am
I hear it.
And to prove to myself that I'm not just paranoid, I keep holding my breath and-
I hear it.
The breathing.
haah haah haah
The trees are breathing.
I try to hold my breath long enough to strain my ears and listen but then -
I feel it.
It pushes against the back of my right shoulder and it feels like fingers drumming into my skin, trying to break me.
I feel it.
I keep trying to tell myself that my paranoia's just acting up but it hasn't been this bad in a while and oh my gosh, I'm scared and I hate it and I hate myself for being so weak.
And I'm panicking.
I'm so terrified.
I can't even breathe through my nose anymore; I have to exhale through my mouth every half a second, and they're laughing-
whoo hah hah whoo hah hah whoo hah hah
Another push through my other side,
And it just keeps touching me
Stop, stop, STOP
I can't breathe
I keep trying to calm myself down
Calm the fuck down, you're paranoid, at worst, your hallucinating so shut up, breathe and lay down
I can't
It'll get me
What?
I don't know, I don't care, IT will get me
It's always there
I hate you, I hate you, I hate you!
I want to cry but I'm not going to, I haven't cried since that day 8 months ago in Naruto's living room, and I want to keep it that way.
hah hah hah Hah hah hah hah
Calm the fuck down
I know what'll put you at ease
I want to cut, I want to cut
I've been doing that so much lately. I have a few lovely red scars to add to the collection on my left calf (I hate it, I hate me, I hate you. You hypocrite, you hypocrite, you hypocrite.)
My breathing is so ragged
Why can't I breathe?
Breathe
I think I'm having a panic attack
I'm so terrified
Nothing's there, nothing's there.
Why is it after me? What does it want?
What do you want from me?
What has anyone ever wanted from me? Being away from Sasuke this long has made me feel so fucking dirty, was I hypnotized? Did I really do those things?
Is he trying to find me?
Does he even care that I'm gone?
Stop, stop, stop.
Please.
I want to scream and run, run right out into the humidity and the darkness that consumes the night,
Get far, far, far away
Leave me alone
Go
Please
woo woo woo huh woo huh woo huh woo huh
Breathe
Please just kill me
Make it go away.
Sasuke, where are you?
Everytime I'm with you
It gets so hard to breathe
I know you feel it too
Yet we have nothing
Not at all
Not really
August 26th, 2013 4:57pm
"Have you found her?"
"No sir, -"
"Then get the fuck out! I don't want anyone to come to me about anything unless she is with you! Do you understand me?"
They all respond in harmony.
"Yes, Sasuke-Sama."
With that, he commands his army to cease their destruction on every village he had planned to overrun, he couldn't take the chance of Sakura being hurt in the crossfire. Hell, he still has no idea when or where she had run off too.
Dammit Sakura, where the fuck are you?
Only lonely
My love is vengeance
That's never free
August 27th, 2013 8:14am
Wake up, take a look around, and put your head back down on the pavement. Fuck. She squints her eyes shut, but she can feel the ground shifting, the trees spinning, and here's looking at you. Fuck. She forces her eyes open against the harsh sunlight, and takes another look at the street she's woken up on. Fuck. So here's to Sakura, to her brown hair, to finally finding a nearby town, to getting wasted beyond belief, and with a huge "fuck you!" to everyone at some bar, passing out on the sidewalk in some part of the villiage. It's coming back now…kinda.
Cursing herself now, she knows she's still as foolish as she was when she was 12.
Sasuke never came.
And four hours later, she's still walking down the rocky, uneven road. With scratches on her legs, and near-bleeding soars on her feet, she's dazed and confused.
What else is new?
She makes a vow that day. She won't care, she won't fall, and she won't depend on anybody.
One day she'll disappear.
And that day, maybe someone will care.
She snorts, and her eyes set with grim determination.
One day she'll disappear.
And they won't even remember I was ever here.
Well…at least the voices are gone.
A melodramatic nightmare
And you had such a scare
August 27th, 2013 6:08am
He finds her, falling over herself in a civilian town only a few miles away. He thinks of how close she's been and how many men he's sent out and how no one had found her. He has always had a strange connection to her, but that is not it. They did not want to find her. They wanted him to let his guard down.
-
What the fuck are they planning?
His eyes narrow as he brings the Sharingan to life, but all he can do as of now is carry this fake blonde away from this trashy pub. She thrashes against him, but with a quick peak at his kekkai-genkai she is knocked out. Placing her on a bench (how fucking nostalgic), he looks down at this woman that has caused him so much trouble.
What the hell was she thinking?
Drinking and dressing like that no less. He traces her body with his fingers. He gently grazes her upper thighs until they reach her heated core, and he stops momentarily. Her skirt is barely there. Gliding his hand upwards, it reaches her cleavage. Her strapless top is low-cut and provocative. He feels the familiar yearning for her as she arches her bust into his hand, and he can't contain his need for her. He wants one touch, just one, just one, just one-
Why the hell would she leave the compound looking like that?
When did she even have the time?
Why the fuck is he not seeing these things?
August 27th, 2013 5:57am
Naruto is a train wreck,
But he is a great man,
A great Hokage.
Sasuke will find Sakura-chan.
Of this, he is sure.
Sasuke has never been much of a leader-
And Naruto is tired of being the victim.
"We declare war at dawn."
Every man gets his wish,
You told me this,
So where is mine?
