[A/N] SOMEBODY CALL KANKRI CUZ DAMN WE HAVE A TRIGGER WARNING. PLEASE, READ WITH CAUTION. IT'S VERY PERSONAL TO A LOT OF PEOPLE AND I DON'T WANT TO TRIGGER ANYONE. SO PLEASE PLEASE PLEASE BE CAREFUL.

Separating later that day was hard. Before they had to leave, the con was nearly empty, so they found a desolate spot and just held each other. No kisses, just standing there, hugging each other. Dave's head rested on John's, and John cuddled into Dave's chest. The sadness hung heavy in the air, knowing they would soon have to part, and not be able to see each other for a long time. Neither spoke, knowing that any words would probably cause John to burst into uncontrollable tears. When it was finally time for them to go back, they held hands until they saw John's dad. This sight caused John to yank his hand away, acting like nothing had ever happened. Dave looked at him questioningly, and John shook his head violently. He wasn't ready to come out to his dad yet. The entire story enclosed in his eyes. The corner of Dave's mouth lifted up, and he stuck his hand into his pocket. He understood, and wasn't about to push John. He'd tell his dad when he was ready. As John left, Dave waved goodbye. John turned to get one last look at his boyfriend, and Dave blew him a kiss. John blushed and whipped his head around, grinning. Dave's flight back to Texas was pretty great, if he may say so himself. He spent his time listening to music, and looking at pictures of the derpy, adorable boy, no, his derpy, adorable boy, and daydreaming. Once he finally got home, it was nighttime, but the jetlag was pretty bad, and he was wide awake. He went ahead and made the Skype he promised John he would make.

"Let's see..."

He murmured out loud. He searched up "Washington time". Oh, it was only 9 there, and John should have gotten home faster than him because the flight was faster. Dave decided to pester him just in case.

TurntechGodhead [TG] began pestering EctoBiologist [EB]

[TG]: hey babe you awake
[EG]: yeah i am!
[TG]: cool bro

TurntechGodhead [TG] ceased pestering EctoBiologist [EB]

Huh. John wondered what was that all about? Oh. That's what that was all about. Dave was Skyping him. He happily accepted the call, and Dave was greeted with a dorky grin.

"I missed you!"

"Babe it's been like, 5 hours."

John grinned wider at the pet name.

"It's not my fault I love talking to you."

"Then who's fault is it?"

"Yours, for being so damn cute."

Dave made a face at his boyfriend.

"See! You're cute!"

Dave just stuck out his tongue. They kept talking for absolutely ever, and on one particularly long monologue about his childhood dog that wasn't technically his it was his neighbors but it would come thought the fence and John would play with it and it was like having a real dog and John named him Scruffy even though that wasn't what the real owners called him, John looked up at Dave to find the blondie fast asleep while sitting at his desk, his head on his arms, snoring softly. John wished he could be there to wrap him in a blanket, and kiss him goodnight... Hopefully one day he could. He listened to Dave's soft breath and watched his cute sleeping face, for a while. He could never get bored looking at him. Dave looked so young while he was asleep. Awake, life had matured him quickly. He acted and looked like he was around 18, despite only being 15. But asleep, he looked young, with an almost childish element in his face. John remorsefully hung up, and left him a message over Skype.

"you fell asleep, and i didnt want to wake you up. good night, pester me tomorrow!"

With that, John shut his computer and fell onto his bed, his head in the clouds.

Several weeks passed, and they messaged and Skyped as much as possible. Neither John nor Dave said anything, yet they both still got a message from Rose congratulating them on being together. Jade was ecstatic, she started kinda barking almost, she was so happy for them. But one day, Dave didn't respond to John's messages. He anwered his call, and something seemed off. He just smiled and claimed to be fine, and John didn't pry. This happened the next day, and the day after that. Then he was ok, for a week. Two months of this and John was getting really worried. He got home from school and pestered him.

EctoBiologist [EB] began pestering turntechGodhead [TG]
[EB]: dave? you there?
[EB]: dave, im going to call you. we need to talk.
EctoBiologist [EB] ceased pestering turntechGodhead [TG]

John took a deep breath and clicked the call button. He thought Dave wasn't going to pick up, until the very last second, the little noise announced his arrival. It was Dark in Dave's room, John couldn't really see his face.

"You wanted to talk?"

There was something off about his voice. It was quavering, and monotonous.

"Yeah, I did."
"Well, you're talking to me, what else do you want?"
"Dave, I wanted to talk about this! You'll be fine one week, the next you'll be acting like everything's fine. You do a really bad job of covering it up, by the way. What's wrong?"
"I-I don't know..."
His voice was quiet and strained. He was really fighting back the urge to cry.
"Dave, can you please turn on your lamp? You don't need to hide."
Dave leaned over and turned on the bedside light. The camera focused and Dave just finished slipping on his shades.
"Sweetheart, you can tell me. I won't tell anyone."
"I told you, I don't know."
"Dave, I want to help! Please tell me!"
"I told you! I. Don't. Know!"
"Dave..."
"I'm sorry, I didn't mean to raise my voice. I just, I don't know why I feel this way! I just do, and nothing seems to cheer me up, not even talking to you, and that always cheers me up."
"Dave, you should've told me earlier! I think you may have depression!"
"No, I don't. I'd probably know if I did. It's probably just mood swings."
"Dave, are you sure nothing's bothering you?"
"Yeah, I'm ok."
"Please call me if you ever start to feel like this. Ok? I care about you, and want you to be happy."
Dave smiled weakly. "Thanks, John. I'm gonna go take a nap now, and see if I feel better."
"You do that. Sleep well!"
"Bye babe."
And with that he hung up. Dave felt awful with the ease in which he had lied to his boyfriend. He was disgusted with himself that he did at all. John was his one ray of sunshine in his cold, dark, world. He picked up the pocketknife he had snagged from the kitchen and headed to the bathroom, and pulled up the leg of his jeans, making marks on the tender, hidden flesh while singing softly.
"You are my sunshine, my only sunshine,
You make me happy, when skies are grey,
You'll never know dear, how much I love you,
So please don't take my sunshine away."
He took off his shades delicately and placed them on the counter, taking a black washcloth and dabbing away the scarlet dewdrops. Tears started running down his face as he nursed his wounds, tears falling into the thing gashes, stinging. Dave didn't care. It's what he wanted. It's what he deserved. It's what he needed. He wiped off the blade and rolled down his jeans. Hiding the knife, he hid it and collapsed into bed.

[A/N] Damn, that chapter was long. Hope you enjoyed! Don't get too upset, save some tears for later. You'll need them. Also probably stock up on tissues.