Chapter Seven: Nightmares and Love

"Hello Mr. Potter. I'm sure your first week was enjoyable?"

Harry noticed McGonagall had done some remodeling on the late Albus Dumbledore's office, changing it to reflect her personality. Dumbledore had been whimsical and fun-loving; his office had many items of dubious nature and no real organization, but McGonagall had the office impeccably clean and organized, as well as removing most of Dumbledore's oddities.

"It was, Professor." Harry still felt strange addressing her as anything other than her student. "I had a very unusual request from a sixth-year Ravenclaw though. She wants me to teach her to throw off the Imperius Curse." Hermione had given a flat no when he'd said something about it to her, so he hadn't really felt the need to press the matter with her. In fact, Harry was happy she had answered so finally, because he didn't want to have to deal with the moral questions that floated around in his head.

McGonagall gave him the same look that he had received so many times before; it was the look she gave him when she was thinking over his punishment for breaking school rules. Harry thought he hadn't done anything wrong, but the look scared him all the same.

"You know, of course, that using an Unforgivable Curse on another witch, wizard, or muggle is punished by a life sentence in Azkaban, no questions asked."

Harry nodded. He knew all too well.

"Which student came to you and asked this?"

Harry shifted uncomfortably. He didn't want to point her out, but then again, he really didn't have any choice. "Miss Princeton." He couldn't remember her first name.

Something changed in McGonagall's eyes at the name - but it was gone as fast as it had come. Harry almost wished he was an accomplished Legilimens. "This school has not always seen eye to eye with the Ministry of Magic on a number of things, as you know. I know that the Ministry would not approve of this, but I do not know if they would put you in Azkaban, given your..." She gazed at him for a moment. "...hero status. I, however, think that Miss Princeton should be taught, if she wishes."

Harry's jaw dropped slightly. He'd come to the Headmistress to get an unavoidable no and a reason to give for his refusal, but it seemed the opposite was happening.

"But do no teach her to overpower your Imperius Curse, Mr. Potter. If this backfires, I want some measure of...control of the situation."

Harry stood in front of McGonagall's desk, stunned. It wasn't at what she'd asked him to do (everyone seemed to think his magic was one level above everyone else's), but at what she was implying. McGonagall was the most rule-abiding woman he knew, only surpassed by the great Percy Weasley, and she was telling him to use the Imperius Curse on a student? Not only that, but she wanted him to be able to control her if things got out of hand? Suddenly, Harry wished he hadn't even told Miss Princeton he would think about it.

"I trust this is within your abilities?"

Harry nodded. He could control his own magic sufficiently to do what she asked, but did he want to do it? "Yes, Professor." It seemed he had no choice.

"Is there anything else?"

Harry shook his head. "No, Professor. Thank you for your time."

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After his visit with McGonagall, Harry walked up to the Hospital Wing to see Ginny. He waited quietly while she treated a burn on a second year Hufflepuff (Harry couldn't remember the name off the top of his head) that probably came from a misfired spell. She washed her hands clean of the lotion she was applying then turned to smile at Harry. He wanted to kiss her, but they had decided to keep their relationship quiet for the moment. The Hogwarts rumor mill seemed to work twice as fast when Harry Potter was involved.

"Hey," she greeted, then her brow furrowed. "What's wrong?"

Harry glanced at her patient. "I'll tell you later. How long are you here?"

She shrugged. "I don't know. I have some things to research, and a paper to write."

Harry snorted. "Sounds like school again."

"That's what it feels like." Ginny sighed. Harry slipped his arms around her, letting her lean against him. He hoped the twelve year old was too young to grasp the concept of his and Ginny's relationship. Harry could tell she was already exhausted, and it wasn't even dinner time.

"I'll let you get back to work; I don't you to be here any longer than you have to." He gave her a smile before leaving to go back to Gryffindor tower.

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"No...please...just kill me..." A woman cowers on the dungeon floor, begging. The man walks toward her, his footfalls echoing death on the hard stone floor. His smile is grim, but his voice is menacing.

"I think not. It's time I returned a few favors." The black cloaked man raises his wand, pointing it directly at the woman. "Crucio."

The woman screams and moans in pain, jerking like a fish out of water. Her arms and legs bend in unnatural ways, her eyes roll back into her head, and she hits her head on the cold floor as she falls. The man watches her, motionless and silent. Cold fury laces his eyes and flows from his wand, which never lets up. Minutes pass, and the man has not moved or spoken, and the woman's voice is starting to give out. Her screams are hoarse and constant, but too weak to echo any longer. Only a noise from the other side of the dungeon distracts the man.

"Reducto!"

The man only just jumps out of the way, a wall behind him disappearing in a deafening blast. He turns toward his assailant, another dark robed form with his wand extended. He thinks nothing before acting.

"Avada Kedavra!" His wand marks the intruder as the target. A flash of green light, a rush...

"Harry!" A girl was shaking his shoulders vigorously, trying to wake him. Harry Potter jolted awake in a cold sweat, red filling his vision. His arms shot up and grabbed the girl by her shoulders and threw her down under him, pulling his wand from under his pillow and aiming it at her chest before he stopped and saw a face he loved.

"...Harry?" By now, Ginny was scared, but she didn't try to get away. Her safety wasn't her concern - Harry was. He loomed over her, his eyes out of focus, but he'd stopped for the moment. Ginny simply looked up at him, trying to find his gaze. Finally, he collapsed on top of her, his body almost crushing her beneath him. Ginny sucked in a breath in surprise, but her arms didn't hesitate to wrap around him, even as his sweat rubbed off into her nightclothes.

"Harry, it's okay." She tried to calm him by running her hands along his bare back, but nothing could stop him from whispering into her ear, telling her all the things he knew he'd done wrong to her, and how he would never do anything to hurt her ever again. If he had been able to think about it, he would have realized he was repeating that night with Hermione, only with Ginny this time. He didn't even seem to be aware of her consoling; he just dissolved into tears and cried himself to sleep after he couldn't think of anything more. It was a long while before Ginny could follow him.

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This is strange, Harry thought upon waking very early next morning. A quick flutter of his eyelids told him the soft body in his arms was Ginny Weasley, and that she was also the odd breath-like feeling against his chest. Harry had never woken up with another body in his arms, but he immediately liked it.

He didn't want to wake her, but his pressing need to use a toilet overpowered him. She stirred as he slid his arms from around her, but as far as Harry could tell she slept through it. One of the best things about having a teacher's room was the private bathroom that came with it, even if he had to share it with a girl. Harry wondered vaguely how much Ginny had pretended she knew about his alcohol problem to get McGonagall to put her in his room.

Now that he thought about it, didn't McGonagall see them at the wedding? She had to know about their relationship; why would she allow them to sleep in the same room? Maybe it was just damage control - Harry could easily see him using his invisibility cloak to sneak in to see Ginny at very odd hours. Harry washed his face and brushed his teeth, pushing his thoughts out of his mind. It didn't really matter why - he wasn't about to complain.

She was still wrapped up in his bed when he came back into the sleeping area of the suite, though now her eyes tracked him with a sleepy smile.

"You okay?" she asked. Harry turned toward her, confused.

"Why wouldn't I be?"

Ginny shifted her body to completely face him before answering. "You had a pretty bad nightmare last night, and I just wondered if everything was okay?"

Harry wondered briefly if this was what marriage was like in the morning. He'd have to write Hermione about it. "I did? I don't remember anything after falling asleep. I don't even remember when you came in." Harry had gone straight to bed after dinner, unable to talk to Ginny. She'd apparently been tied up with an emergency in the hospital wing involving two Slytherins and a trip into the Forbidden Forest. Some people never learned.

Ginny sighed softly. That had been the one thing she'd hoped he wouldn't say. She wanted him to remember her coming to him in the middle of the night when he needed her. "It was pretty bad. You attacked me when I woke you up." A horrified expression crossed Harry's face, so she quickly added, "But you didn't hurt me. I think you thought I was something from your dream."

The dream. Harry remembered all of that, but not because of last night. He'd had that dream before, multiple times. It didn't end where she'd woken him...Harry was thankful he didn't have to live it all over again. He must have spaced out, because he didn't notice Ginny rise until her arms slid around his torso and her head rested against his chest. Her hair felt soft against his skin and her body felt solid in his arms. This is what it feels like to be loved, Harry realized. No wonder Ron wanted to be with Hermione every second.

Wait...where's my shirt? He always slept with a shirt. Ginny must have taken it off, as it was laying on the floor next to his bed, but that made him very uncomfortable. He wished he could remember why he'd allowed her to do something like that.

"Harry...can I ask you something?"

He looked down at her, his nose touching the top of her head. "You can ask me anything."

"What do you have nightmares about?"

Harry tensed, and she must have felt it. "Don't answer if you don't want to...I don't want to pry." She looked up at him, not the Ginny he knew at all. This was a softer, concerned, almost passive Ginny, with all of her attention on Harry. Love did strange things to people, even if she had never admitted she was, in fact, in love.

"No...I need to talk to someone about it...it's just really hard. They're about a time in my life that I don't want to remember."

Ginny nodded, knowing he was talking about something that had happened during his hunt for the Dark Lord. Ron and Hermione had some pretty horrifying tales, but she could imagine it was nothing to what Harry had been through. They had told her that Harry made the final push himself, not allowing anyone to follow him, but they'd refused to give any more details beyond that.

"Harry, it's okay. Tom is dead, and he's not coming back. I didn't die in the war like you were afraid of, and you'll always have me, even if you have nothing else."

Something clouded his eyes, something that caused him to loosen his arms around her, as if he'd lost the will to keep them there. Ginny could tell that he was thinking, and she let him move off into his own world. She had things to think about too...like what he'd said to her last night. Most of the things were small, and she hadn't even realized that he held guilt over them, but some of the things they really needed to work out, and some of the things he shouldn't have felt guilty at all over.

"Did Ron and Hermione ever tell you what happened after we found him?"

Ginny shook her head. "I don't even think they know...they said you took him down by yourself."

Harry nodded, obviously straining to remember. Ginny pulled on him, leading him over to sit on the bed, knowing if he started, he wouldn't want to stop until it was all over. She pushed his back against the headboard, crawling up beside him and laying her head on his shoulder and an arm across his chest. He looked down at her gratefully.

"When we found him, he was staying at the Malfoy manor." Ginny did her best not to curse. That was probably the one place Harry never thought he'd set foot in his life. "Ron, Hermione, and I knew he was there, though we didn't tell the rest of the Order, or anyone else for that matter. We just set off on our own, knowing that if we waited for the Order to come up with something, Tom would be gone. There were Death Eaters standing guard around the manor, which the three of us took out easily. Those were the prisoners that came back. When it came time to enter the manor itself, I forced Ron and Hermione to stay back and watch over the Death Eaters we had stunned. I didn't give them a choice...I threatened to stun them too if they tried to follow..." He trailed off, and Ginny gave his hand a comforting squeeze.

"It's all right, Harry. No one but you would stand a chance against Tom anyway. I know they don't hold it against you." It was clear he was punishing himself. He had to take a calming breath before continuing.

"So they stayed behind while I entered the manor. By this time, I knew I was one of the most powerful wizards in the world." He struggled to say that, and Ginny smiled at his modesty. She loved that about him. "So I went hunting. And that's exactly what it was. A slaughter." He shuddered as memories started to come back to him. "I stopped using stunners, Ginny. I turned to the Killing Curse." His eyes were vacant by this point, and he barely heard Ginny gasp. "I don't even remember specifics; I just worked my way through, killing and destroying everything in my path. I found a way into the dungeons; I remember thinking Tom must be there, because I had to speak Parseltongue just to get inside."

Ginny tightened her hold on him, her usual cheer gone. She never knew he'd held this much inside of him - certainly, Ron and Hermione had never said anything if they knew. She was pretty sure he'd never told anyone; the anguish in his eyes was proof of that.

"On the way, I met Bellatrix Lestrange." His voice turned to pure ice as he spoke of her. She had murdered Sirius and Remus, tortured Neville's parents into insanity, as well as a thousand other crimes that should not be mentioned. Every Weasley and Hermione knew that if he ever met that particular Death Eater again, it would get bloody. Harry's eyes looked down at Ginny's face, searching. Ginny met them, knowing something was coming, something Harry thought he could never forgive himself for.

"I had used both the Imperius Curse and the Killing Curse on Death Eaters before, so I knew I was going to Azkaban no matter what happened. But when I saw her, I was angry. Angry enough to finally use the third curse. I tortured her Ginny. I tortured her like she did Neville's parents. In the end, I don't think she could even move. I tortured her past when her voice gave out. At least three Death Eaters must have walked in on us...it made no difference. I killed them then went back to torturing. And you know what I did after that? I left her there. I left her to feel the pain and suffering, the insanity she had brought upon so many people. The worst of it is, I didn't care. I felt good. I..." Harry couldn't continue any longer. He broke down again, crying softly into Ginny's hand, which was now stroking his cheek. His eyes were lost in some vision, no doubt of Lestrange's useless body sprawled on the dungeon floor. Ginny had no idea how to respond...she didn't think Harry had been capable of such a thing. She didn't think any less of him - everyone had hated Bellatrix - but his guilt was something she didn't know how to deal with.

"Harry...it will be okay, I promise. I don't love you any less than I did when I came to you in the middle of the night and woke you, because I thought you needed me." It was out before Ginny could stop herself, and it jerked Harry back to reality. She'd finally said she loved him, after knowing each other for eight years. "I love you Harry, and nothing is ever going to change that."

Something besides alcohol or sleeping potions finally took his mind off the guilt. Harry had known since their first kiss over two years ago that they were in love, but it was something completely different to hear it aloud, and have the one you love tell you they love you back. It was like a confirmation, like a promise that everything was going to be okay, because they would be together and bound by love. He knew in that instant that they would never separate, never leave each other, and anything that came between them would get worked out.

"I love you too, Ginny." He'd been burning to say those words forever. It was like a great weight off his chest, and now even his eternal guilt could not stop a deep-seeded happiness from welling up inside him. Ginny crawled on top of him and leaned down to kiss him, as if to prove it wasn't all a dream. They locked together for what seemed like hours, but Ginny finally had to let up, breathing heavily to replace the air she'd given up for him.

"I know you feel guilty over what you did, and I know you think you can't forgive yourself, but please, promise me something. Promise me you'll never shut me out again, that you'll let me help you. Maybe you were the only wizard who could kill Tom, but you don't have to live alone forever. I don't want to be anywhere else but with you, and I want you to promise you'll never make me live without you again."

Harry would have promised her anything just then. "I promise, Ginny. I can't push you out of my life, because you are my life now." Something about opening up to her made him feel as though that were the truth, that he needed her more than ever, that she was one person he could trust with his darkest secrets. He'd never even told Hermione what happened that night, why he'd come out with months of magical exhaustion ahead of him. He'd been waiting for this, for someone who could hold him and love him, who could understand the feelings of loneliness in his heart, and who could banish those feelings with a single kiss.

Nothing could have broken that moment for them. The entire school could have burst in and they wouldn't have noticed. They fell back asleep together, knowing neither of them had anything to do on that particular Sunday. And if they did, it could wait, because neither of them would move a muscle in the next seven hours.

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"Harry?" Ginny mumbled into his chest. They had both been awake for a few minutes, but neither of them had wanted to break the peaceful silence. It was a moment before he answered.

"Yes?"

"We both need a shower."

That was unexpected. Of all the things she could have said, that was it? "Er...okay?"

Ginny giggled lightly against him. Their sleep had been refreshing like none other - it almost felt like it had been enchanted. "It's your fault."

Harry slid a hand through her hair, relishing the softness of it. "And how is that?" His voice was just starting to lose the sleepiness that had held it.

"You looked like you had just got done with an eight hour Quidditch game when I woke you last night." She said this slowly, almost dreamily. She was almost wide awake now, but so comfortable.

Harry realized what she was talking about. "Er - yeah. That happens when I have a bad nightmare." He sighed softly. "I'm sorry you have to live with this, with my past."

Ginny's head moved so she could stare directly into his eyes. "Harry, I don't want to hear it. I'm here for you whether you want me to be or not. I want to be, and you know how I am when I want something." Sometimes a little force was best for dealing with him.

He smiled weakly, unable to fight her. She sounded so brutally honest. "Since when did you get a soft side?"

That did it. She rolled her eyes, lifting herself off him. "Don't expect it, Potter." She poked his stomach then pointed toward the shower. "Now get."

Harry waggled his eyebrows, her playfulness infecting him. "Care to join me?"

She slapped his chest, but the sting was pleasant. "Maybe when I'm old enough so you won't stare the whole time."

Harry rose, walking over and leaning against the bathroom door as he thought of a response. "What's wrong with staring?"

She pointed again. "Shower. Now." Absolutely nothing, Harry. Ginny thought with a smile. Nothing at all.

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"I want a two foot essay on non-verbal spells by the next time you see me. Class dismissed. Miss Princeton, if you could stay behind, I'd like a word." Harry had looked up her real name - Rebecca - but he figured the farther he was from his students, the better. Or maybe it was just McGonagall's influence.

She appeared in front of him, though Harry noticed another sixth-year Ravenclaw waiting for her by the door. That came as a relief to him - most witches and wizards who were of questionable merit didn't have close friends. She looked up at him attentively, waiting.

"The Headmistress has agreed to allow me to teach you to counter the Imperius Curse. However, you must understand that I am not here to teach you how to perform it."

She nodded. "Yes, Professor. Thank you." Enormous relief passed over her features, and against Harry was troubled by the whole idea. Why was she so relieved? Did she have something in her past that made her afraid of being Imperiused?

"You will meet with me at eight o'clock tonight in my office, and subsequent Mondays until you master it. The lessons will not be long, perhaps a half hour, so you don't need to worry about taking up your nights." Harry smiled as he remembered some of his own nights at Hogwarts - they had been very eventful.

"Yes, Professor. Is that all?"

Harry nodded, noticing a slight sound behind him. As the Ravenclaw left, Harry shut the door behind her with his wand. "Accio Invisibility Cloak," he said, revealing a very surprised Ginny Weasley creeping up behind him. "You'll have to do better than that, Weasley."

She glared at him, more in embarrassment than anything else. "How did you know?"

Harry laughed. "Invisibility doesn't make you silent Ginny. There's an art to using that cloak properly." He pulled the hood over his head, but let the rest hang behind him so he appeared headless. Even Ginny had to smile.

"How did you ever get this job? I know the students love you, but you're so..." She couldn't think of the right word. "...childish."

Harry gave her a playful glare, though she couldn't see it. "I'm not childish, and a bit of fun never hurt anyone. Why do you have this anyway?"

"I was cleaning up the room and I found it under your bed. You really should hide it better if you don't want me using it."

Harry laughed and pulled her down onto his lap. That was one good thing about Ginny being as small as she was - she could hang all over him without causing a bit of discomfort. She reached up and pulled the cloak off of his head.

"That's too weird, I can't talk to you like that."

"Who said I needed you to talk?"

Ginny smirked. "That's right, all you need is a pretty face to snog." She leaned down to brush his lips with hers.

"Only if her name is Weasley," Harry replied, leaning up into her, giving her the soft kiss she had grown to love in the weeks since they'd come to Hogwarts.

"You know, Hermione's name is Weasley too." Ginny noted as Harry sucked on her upper lip. He promptly stopped at mention of his best friend's name.

"You really know how to ruin a moment, don't you?"

She laughed, tossing her hair over her shoulder and turning her hips to face him. "So you've never kissed her?"

Harry shook his head. "I love her to death, but eww."

Ginny sniggered. "Nice to know I'm the only girl in your life." She looked down at his chest, not wanting him to see the slightly doubtful look in her eyes. He noticed anyway.

"Ginny, I am yours and yours alone." Harry sighed softly. "I know you may think differently because of all the years I was around you and didn't want you, and because I left you to go find Tom, and because of this summer, but I promise none of that will ever happen again. I know where I want to be now."

She looked up at him, sliding a hand around the side of his neck. "I really want to believe you Harry, I do, but after you kissed Gabrielle it was like seeing you with Cho all over again."

Harry had been waiting for that to come up ever since he'd done it. She had yelled at him for it in front of the entire family, but that wasn't going to help with her feelings of security. He'd come up with an answer, and he hoped she would accept it.

"I know Jared still goes here...but I also know I can trust you even if you two were alone. I don't expect you to trust me like that, but know that if you ever do, I won't hurt you again."

Yesterday, she probably wouldn't have believed him. But after what had happened last night, and after this morning, Ginny could feel herself starting to come around. She wasn't quite there yet, but she knew it wouldn't be long. She'd always admired his honor and bravery, and there was no reason that honor shouldn't apply to their relationship.

"Jared is some stupid American who is probably going to transfer back to the States and live there for the rest of his life. You don't have to worry about him."

Harry saw his chance. "Stupid American huh? So is that why you dated him for two years, because he's stupid and not worth it?" He understood Ginny's feelings about Gabrielle because of his own about her ex-boyfriend.

"You really want to know why I dated him? Because I knew he was American, and to be with him I'd have to move to America, and I knew I wouldn't do that. So even if I did get attached to him, I couldn't be with him, and when I left school, I would still be available for you."

Harry wasn't sure whether that was really sweet or really stupid. If Hermione hadn't forced him, he probably never would have come back to his friends. "You really had your heart set on me, didn't you?"

Ginny nodded slowly and laid down on his chest. "I was always thinking about you Harry. I know I expected you to at least be there to see me when I got off the train this summer."

A pang of guilt ran through Harry's system. He should have been. All of this could have been avoided.

"I'm sorry about that...I did a lot of stupid things in the year after I killed Tom. I needed some time to recover, but I was never able to deal with things, I just avoided them. I was lucky Hermione never lost hope. I think her loyalty would have impressed Helga Hufflepuff herself."

Ginny smiled. "Harry, don't worry about what you should have done...worry about making me happy now. Because that's your job, you know."

"My job? Since when did I agree to that?"

"Since you decided to snog me in front of my whole family. Pretty stupid really." She poked his stomach playfully.

"Oh? Well, I guess that's not too bad, you're not hard to please. You know, just give you a boy to put your hands on, and you're happy."

Ginny gaped. "Harry! You're as bad as the twins!"

"I'll take that as a complement."

Ginny growled softly. "I'll somehow remember my promise not to snog you."

"That's okay, I can make you." Harry sniggered at the torn look on her face.

"I have been wondering about that...why did you use it on me? I really didn't think you would...it's just not right."

Harry squirmed as much as possible without knocking Ginny out of his lap. He really hadn't been thinking at the time, he just did it. Looking back, he couldn't really give a good reason why. "I don't know Ginny, you were just daring me, and I couldn't resist. You know I hate it when people tell me I can't do things."

Ginny laughed. "Yeah, I guess I did ask for it. I must have been crazy too...you could have done so much to me." Her thoughts slipped back to what he'd said about not knowing how much control he had over her. His discomfort at the thought did make her feel better; she'd liked it, but after their conversation with Hermione had sunk in, she didn't think it was something she wanted to try again soon.

Harry thought about what she was implying, wondering if she actually thought he would do something like that. He wouldn't, but maybe she wasn't completely sure. It bothered him a little that she could think that of him, but he knew that was a lot to ask, knowing what the curse was usually used for. Maybe it wasn't such a good idea to do it again. He quickly pushed the thought from his mind and looked back up at Ginny, noting the soft smile on her lips.

"Are you going to come down and bother me every Monday like this? I have work to do you know."

Ginny rolled her eyes and sat up, adjusting her legs so they were on either side of him so they wouldn't fall asleep and she could sit back on his knees. "You better start working on your other job, you know. You'll never be able to teach if your girlfriend isn't happy."

"Oh? I wasn't aware my girlfriend wasn't happy. Have you talked to her?"

Ginny scowled and hit his chest as he shook with laughter. "That's not funny Harry." But she couldn't say it with conviction. "Fine, I'll just take what makes me happy." She leaned forward to kiss him, her lips sealing his and shutting off his laugh. Her hands laced up into his thick black hair, pulling his head slightly into her as she tilted hers to the side and parted his lips with her tongue. Harry's hands slipped up to her waist, grabbing her tightly as his back arched slightly up into her. He reached into her robe and pulled out her wand, waving it at the door and locking it before she pinned his wrists to the chair and kissed her way down his jaw to his neck, where she sucked on his skin and bit softly.

"Ginny..." Harry said, trying to keep a level head. "I'm supposed to go meet Flitwick in like five minutes."

She finished a kiss on his neck before replying. "Then he'll just have to wait, because your girlfriend needs you." Her lips slipped up to his before he could say any more; though Harry wasn't entirely sure he would have said anything. He had five minutes, and he was going to make the most of them.

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A/N: A little short, I know, but I didn't feel right ending it anywhere else. Given the significant step that Harry and Ginny have taken in their relationship, I'm sure you won't be too disappointed with the chapter. xP