David Borenstein
Feelings are not supposed to be logical. Dangerous is the man who has rationalized his emotions.
Ron, Harry and Ginny sat in Dumbledore's office, watching as Hermione, or Elly, paced the length of the office, fingering her neck, which was beginning to show signs of purple and black swelling. They were alone, as Dumbledore had insisted that Hermione talk with them. However, Hermione didn't seem to want to talk. Ginny watched with a distressed look and finally stood, taking Hermione's hand gently.
"Hermione, wo-"
"It's Elly," she snapped back, shaking Ginny off. A hurt look appeared on Ginny's face but she replaced it with a look of indifference and proceeded.
"Elly… why don't you sit down? You've been walking back and forth for a while, and I'm sure we can talk if you would just-"
"Listen?" Hermione/Elly interrupted, glaring. "Well, I don't need to. I told you already, I don't want my old life. I've seen glimpses of it and it doesn't look so great." Ron stood.
"You can't base that statement on anything!" he exclaimed and she fixed him with a stare.
"Oh really, Ronald or whoever you are? I just found out that, not only was I proclaimed dead by my parents for reason that everyone fails to tell me, but I was married off to a nutcase who tried to kill me!!" Harry shook his head.
"He wasn't crazy when you were… well, when you were normal."
"Normal? You call this around me normal?!" She stormed over to a picture and, picking it up, shook it at him. "The photo is moving!!! The paintings are moving and talking! Everyone is wearing clothes that I don't even want to know where they came from and there is some sort of voodoo going on around here! THIS ISN'T NORMAL!!"
"Then what is normal, Elly?" Ron hissed. "Why the hell are you so against learning who you are?"
"Because this life tried to kill me!!!" she shouted at him. "I am dead to this life. Why do you think I don't remember anything?? I don't want to remember someone torturing me and then tossing me into an alleyway!! I don't want to remember being married off to a lunatic against my will!! I've seen pictures of myself and everything I see, I don't like!! I have apparently had nightmares about this place and everything ends in DEATH!!" Her chest was heaving and her eyes were filled with tears. "Look," she whispered, lowering her voice at the looks on their faces. "I know you guys are supposed to be my best friends when I had my memory, but I don't. And I need you guys to understand that. I have friends back home in London that I actually remember because I met them after the accident. I met someone that actually likes me and won't try and kill me. I'm sorry, but I need to forget this place, because everywhere I look, I see myself dying, and I don't want to remember that." Ginny had tears in her eyes and she was shaking her head.
"This isn't happening," she whispered, closing her eyes. "We found her. She's alive, but she won't wake up... She won't come back..." Elly wanted to comfort the young woman, but she held back, instead moving for the door when it opened. The black boy from the infirmary stood there, staring at Elly. She shifted uncomfortably.
"Um, could you move?" she asked and the young man crossed his arms across his chest.
"Why are you afraid of returning to who you really are?"
"I'm not afraid, I'm annoyed. Now get out of my way."
"Eventually, you'll have to face up to it, and then, it might not be to pretty." She scowled. There was something about this man that unnerved her. It was like he could see into her mind and knew exactly what she was thinking. She shifted.
"Get out of the way."
"Can't. One more person you have to see."
Draco had his head pressed into the corner of the dark, dank cell that he had been placed into by the Ministry members. Dumbledore had insisted on him being allowed to stay in the castle until his mother arrived with their lawyer. They had thrown him into the lowest cell, with five guards stationed outside. But this was lost on him, as he argued again with the relentless voice.
Why are you not here?
"They caw meh befoe I cou get ou." (for those who don't understand this, "They caught me before I could get out")
You're a disappointment, Draco. You're a very big disappointment and I'm disgusted to have picked you as my heir. You've brought about my wrath, Draco. You will be punished. You had better hope your mother has a good hiding place. She'll need it. You have betrayed the Dark Lord for the side of the Light. You will be punished.
Draco moaned, sliding to the floor as tears poured down the one side of his face. He didn't even hear the door open and close behind him. But he did hear a woman's gasp. Spinning around, he froze. There she was again. An apparition. A daydream. Maybe he was going crazy.
He laughed. "She's na real," he snapped and she frowned, backing away from him.
"What do you mean, I'm not real." He shook his head, still coughing and laughing as he rested his forehead against the wall.
"Go way. You're na real," he said again. "You're dead."
"You really are mad, aren't you? Why did my parents marry me off to you?"
"She's na real." Her eyes softened. He must have been extremely traumatized in his life for him to be acting like this. He just kept mumbling that she wasn't real while shaking his head. He was probably mentally disabled. Sighing, she moved forward and touched his shoulder. He spun around, glaring. Startled, she stumbled back into the wall, where he advanced on her. She tried to press herself against it as he stopped only a hairs breadth away, face deathly close. She was shaking uncontrollably as his eye pierced hers. "You're na real," he hissed. "Ou're dead!"
"Please," she managed out. "Please, just listen to me. I don't really know who you are, but I can see that you've been hurt." Something flickered in the depths of him.
"Who are ou?" She blinked.
"I'm Elly, but you may know me as Hermione." Pain flashed across the scarred face and a fist pounded right next to her head, causing her to let out a small scream.
His brain lapsed. And he snapped.
"Ou're DEAD!! I WATCHED OU DIE!!! I WATCHED!!" Tears were coming down harder now as the fists continued to come, never making contact with her. "I SAW OU!! OU DIED!!! OU DIED!!!"
"STOP THIS!!" she screamed, cowering in front of him. "STOP THIS NOW!!!" Instantly, he stopped yelling. She looked up at him, shocked by his outburst. What had happened to you to make you act like this? she thought again. Standing carefully, she bit her lip. "Why are you acting this way?" She backed up again as he stepped closer to her, reaching up and touching her cheek. He leaned in but stopped when she slapped him. "Don't do that," she hissed and his hand came up to strike her, but he didn't. He was confused, broken... He reached up again, tentative this time.
"Please," he begged in a soft voice. "Please." Her eyes widened. He was begging her to let him kiss her. She shook her head, feeling tears in her eyes but unsure as to why.
"No," she whispered. "I don't know you. And I don't think I want to..." She shoved past him and was just reaching for the door handle when he spun her around, crushing his lips to hers. She gasped at the rough desperateness of the kiss, but also at how gentle, soft and willing he was being. He was pleading for her to kiss him back. Something from within her bade her kiss him back.
Some distant memory surfaced and the scene of a bedroom floated by, with her sitting up in bed while talking to a man, who was lying down beside her. The man pulled her into a kiss, which quickly escalated into- NO!
She squashed it with a fire, shoving him away. "No," she spat, glaring at him. "No." With that, she flung open the door and swept out. She did not notice him as he curled up into a ball in the corner of the dark cell and sobbed brokenly. Not for the loss of a kiss. No, he did not weep for that.
He wept because she was alive and didn't even know it.
It was five hours later and Elly stood in Nicole's apartment, alone. She was staring at the picture in her hand of her former self and this Draco Malfoy. She sighed and threw it on the table.
"Today has been too weird..." A knock came to the door and she turned around. Walking over, she opened it and smiled.
"Wow, you don't know how glad I am to see you," she said to Charles, letting him in. He kissed her cheek and handed her a bottle of what looked to be very expensive wine.
"For you, Madame," he said and she smiled walking over to the kitchen and looking for glasses. "So, Nicole called, saying you'd found out who you were." She returned with the glasses and sighed.
"I don't want to talk about it," she whispered.
"Why? Did something bad happen?" He poured the dark amber liquid into the glasses and she curled up on the couch.
"Everything bad happened. I'm still hoping it was some sort of some horrible nightmare."
"It couldn't have been that bad."
"They're all crazy," she told him. She wanted to convince herself of this, also. She wanted to convince herself that what had happened at the asylum she had been to never happened. "All of them. I think they gave me the wrong information." He laughed.
"What could have happened that could have been so bad?" She rolled her eyes and shrugged.
"You won't believe me if I told you."
"Try me."
"Well, first, when I got to the house, there was this really old man there dressed in weird robes and stuff. Everyone there was acting really strangely and then the guy asked me to touch this shoe he pulls out of his pocket. He makes me touch it and suddenly, I'm not at the house anymore but I'm in this town. I guess I passed out, because I woke up the next second and I was in a hospital with all of these weird people saying how I'm supposed to be dead and everything. I start leaving and this man, who apparently I'm married to, tries to kill me. I end up being taken to this room where the paintings actually move!! It's like a magic box or something! It was so bizarre! It must have been a dream, right?" She turned to Charles and was startled at the look on his face. It was dark, as if something had suddenly occurred to him. He was staring at Elly weirdly.
"What did they say your real name was?" he asked in a voice that wasn't his own. She frowned.
"Henny Granger or something like that."
"Hermione Granger?" She stared at him, shocked.
"Why, yes? But how-"
"I have to go," he said suddenly, standing. "I just remembered something." Elly stood and walked him to the door.
"Are you sure you're alright?" she asked him and he nodded.
"I'm fine, I just remembered I have another meeting." He kissed her on the lips, but there was something different about the kiss. Something reserved. Like he was holding back on her. He pulled away and swept out the door, leaving her watching his back in confusion.
"What do you know?" she whispered.
