A Teenage Experience
Little did Jess Mariano realize, or even most of the residents of Stars Hollow, but the small Connecticut town had its very own witch coven that definitely did not appreciate Jess's screwing around and decide to teach him a lesson. It goes horribly wrong, of course.
PS: Spoilers for all seasons, just in case. Starts after S02E08.
PS2: MPREG alert. For reals.
PS3: Fair amount of cursing.
PS4: I literally woke up one morning with this idea in my head, so I just had to, as bizarre as it is.
Notes:
"Words" – regular conversation
'Words' – quotes and such, thoughts too
Chapter 0007: The Magic is in the Air
It was a tight fit, but the entire Stars Hollow Coven plus an entirely skeptical but willing to listen Luke Danes stood in his diner's backroom for a little chat, not that the last to arrive, Gypsy and Miss Patty, had any say in matter. The diner owner had looked thunderous when he'd come back out and barked at them to follow him.
The man was staring down the foursome with fierce wrath, and they all remembered what a force to be reckoned with his mother had been when poked. Magic or no magic, they were sure Luke could rip them to shreds with little to no effort, and considering the situation they now found themselves in–
Well.
Miss Patty, as the eldest, decided it was time to bite the bullet. Lulu and Andrew were kind of shaking in their boots, and Gypsy looked ready to bark back at Luke in forced courage.
"Lucas–"
"Seriously?" – he asked dryly.
"Alright. Luke. Now, I'm not sure what Andrew and Lulu have told you already–"
"They said you four are witches, you don't like Jess and did something to cause his current state" – the man said in clipped tones, the only softness directed at the surely miserable teen hidden in the apartment above them.
"It's not like we were trying to do this, okay?" – Gypsy butted in – "We just wanted to teach him a lesson, using his ancestry to do the job for us"
"Right, 'cause that's a great idea" – Luke retorted with a grimace – "The words 'witch hunt' come to mind right about now"
"We are not persecuting Jess!" – Lulu exclaimed, still clutching Andrew's arm.
"No, you just decided to go vigilante on him using your voodoo or whatever the hell you call what you did that made MY nephew the way he is now!" – he hissed – "And while I still believe you people are all delusional, there is no denying that something is seriously wrong with Jess. He refuses to go to a hospital, and, God help me, if he IS suffering the consequences of some shitty magic work, I don't WANT to take him to a doctor, that would be a disaster waiting to happen, so you four" – he pointed at each witch – "better have a solution for this" – he paused and cocked his head – "Talk. Now"
"We need to see the boy first" – Gypsy said, voice not as brave as before.
"You guys know his name, the least you can do is use it, considering what you claim you did to him"
"Do you think he will allow us to examine him?" – Miss Patty asked curiously.
"Don't worry about that part, I'll strap him to the bed if necessary. You people just think about what you're going to do to make this right" – he stopped and smirked evilly – "and how you're going to make it up to him, and me, for whatever shit you pulled"
"Excuse me?" – Gypsy narrowed her eyes.
"Oh, I'm sorry, I thought you were some big, bad witch coven out to dispense justice onto the criminals of Stars Hollow" – Luke said sarcastically – "Forgive me for wanting compensation for when you absolutely FUCK WITH PEOPLE'S LIVES!" – he screamed, and man, he had to have some of his mother's power, 'cause the witches could've sworn the walls literally shook.
"Alright, alright, let's not get carried away" – Miss Patty said soothingly – "We will discuss this issue once we've, hum, you know, fixed Jess's– Predicament" – Luke snorted.
"That's one way to put it" – he took a deep breath and looked very tired suddenly – "Look, I'm not saying I believe you or not, but I don't know what to do about Jess, and if you guys do, then go right ahead" – he said, more resigned than anything else.
"Thank you, Luke" – Lulu said earnestly.
"Yeah, yeah. So, you guys wanna go upstairs now?"
Just then, they heard very, very loud music and an angry scream.
"Time to face the beast" – Andrew said under his breath as they all looked up.
