A/N: Well, I hope you all like this latest installment. I realized that I have not humiliated the boys yet so I tackled a certain oversensitive hanyou first. I really, really tried to get the imagery across right but am unsure if I did. Let me know if I did.
Read, enjoy and review!
0
0
0
0
0
0
0
Hung Up and Hanging Out:
The wind raced to catch up.
Inuyasha gloried in his headlong rush through the forest, the very force he moved with pushing his hair behind him a flowing silver cloud. His powerful legs sprung upward and propelled him high into the air, passing huge distances in a single leap. Dexterously avoiding low-hanging branches, his speed only increased as a reckless smile spread across his handsome face.
"Inuyasha!" Kagome called breathlessly from her hiding spot in Inuyasha's neck joint, "Can we slow down?"
"Keh!"
"We're going too fast!" the schoolgirl protested, an edge of panic in her words.
"It's never too fast!" Inuyasha called back, his soul lightened by the sheer glory of pushing all his muscles to their limits.
Kagome let out an undignified squawk as Inuyasha purposefully allowed his freefall to last a little too long.
"That's it! Let me off!" snapped Kagome when the hanyou landed for a second.
"No way! I'd have to stop!" he gleefully yelled.
"We're going to hit something!" she warned.
"No we won't!" scoffed Inuyasha loudly. "I'm always in control!"
"We're going to fall!"
"I never fall!"
To prove his point, he executed a perfect spin in the air and landed on one foot on a tree branch high, high above the ground. "See?" he arrogantly said with a smirk.
"What's that weird noise?" Kagome asked uneasily, looking around at the foliage nervously.
"It's nothing," Inuyasha sighed. Humans are so easily frightened.
Thus, with this reassurance ringing in their ears, both were surprised when suddenly an angry squirrel jumped onto Kagome's head, chirping furiously and baring its teeth. Shrieking on the top of her lungs, Kagome simultaneously tried to clamber off Inuyasha's back and climb on top of his head.
"Get it off! Get it off!" she cried, waving her arms wildly.
Inuyasha hollered as Kagome's hand covered his eyes by mistake, "Get off me wench and I'll kill it! I can't see, damn it all!"
Stumbling around, the normally agile hanyou yelped as his foot slipped and he and Kagome plunged toward the forest floor. She screamed and Inuyasha growled as he tried to grab the quickly passing branches. A few seconds into the fall, he jerked to a painful stop, Kagome flipping over his back.
"Don't let go!" Kagome yelled hysterically as she clung to his hands, dangling high above the ground, his grip the only thing preventing her from tumbling down to her death.
"You're not going to fall!" he vowed as his two hands grabbed hers. "Just hold on!"
The girl swung silently in the air as she gulped for breath and shuddered. The ground was far too below her to bear contemplation and Kagome looked up at Inuyasha as her fury grew.
"What happened to 'I'm always in control', huh?" she shouted furiously. "What happened to 'I never fall'? Answer me that, you baka!"
"If a certain coward hadn't freaked over a damn squirrel, we wouldn't be here right now!" snapped Inuyasha. "Don't piss me off or I may just drop you!"
"Don't you dare take either hand off or I'll- how are you holding onto the branch?" Kagome asked suddenly, realizing that he was holding onto her with both of his hands, leaving what to attach them to the branch?
Inuyasha blinked. "Um…I don't know. I just sort of stopped."
"Why don't you check how you stopped?" Kagome growled finally as Inuyasha just stared at her.
Turning his head as fast as he could, Inuyasha saw that the tie to his hakama pants had snagged on a protruding branch. His blood circulation was getting cut off as the tie around his waist bit into his lower stomach but this pain was dismissed.
"It's okay," he reassured her. "The tie to my pants is holding us up."
Kagome wanted badly to slap Inuyasha upside the head. "Oh is it?" she said a little hysterically. "A long piece of string is what's holding us up? That's it?"
"It's a string made of the gut lining of the fire rat," Inuyasha explained. "It'll never break."
"Fire rat….guts?" For a moment, Kagome thought of the many, many times she had touched the strings on Inuyasha's kimono and shuddered. I have got to introduce elastic to this era.
"Never break," Inuyasha repeated confidently.
"Could you pull me up then?" she shouted, kicking her feet in anger.
"Keh. What're you all mad about?" grumbled the hanyou. Straining to lift her from his awkward angle, Inuyasha shifted the wrong way and began to fall off the tree. Feeling herself plummet for one awful moment, Kagome breathed a sigh of relief when she felt Inuyasha and herself stop abruptly again.
"Are you okay?" she called out, determinedly looking away from the ground.
"Don't look up!" Inuyasha shouted desperately.
"Shouldn't you be telling me not to look down?" she inanely asked.
"Don't look up!"
Curiosity had always been one of Kagome's main vices and this was one occasion when perhaps caution would have served her better.
"Why not?" Unable to control herself, she glanced upward and got what some may call the best view and some the worst view of her life.
The knot in Inuyasha's hakama pants was still tangled around a sturdy, slim branch but the unfortunate angle had gravity forcing Inuyasha downward with his pants still firmly attached to the branch. Wrapping his knees and feet around the tree limb had prevented Kagome and his falling to their possible deaths but had exposed certain things to the midmorning sunshine.
The schoolgirl shrieked wordlessly as she got a full view of Inuyasha's legs and private areas waving in the breeze, his hakama pants entangled by his knees.
"I slipped out of my pants! It was an accident!" the half demon almost wailed, anticipating the 'sits' this would earn him. "The knot in the guts was still caught on the branch and it stopped us from falling but I fell through!"
"I didn't want to see that!" screeched Kagome. "Put your pants back on!"
"I can't! We'll slip and fall!"
"Try!"
"I would but I can't reach without dropping you!" Inuyasha shouted back.
"What I want to know," yelled Kagome furiously with her eyes firmly closed, "is what the hell happened to your god-damned fundoshi?" (A/N: explanation at bottom).
"My area needs to breathe!" Inuyasha explained in a huff.
"Your area needs to be covered!"
"Well excuse me for not realizing that a certain someone would jump on my head, make me fall off a tree, get caught on a branch and show my balls off to the world!" he snapped.
Kagome hissed furiously. "As soon as this whole…thing is over, I'm going to say you-know-what until your back breaks!"
Inuyasha growled back but his retort was cut short by the arrival of their four traveling companions.
"Kagome-chan!" Sango called as she searched on foot for the missing girl. Turning to Kirara, she asked in confusion, "Are you sure you sense they're here?"
The giant neko youkai nodded and plodded over to where Miroku was standing.
"Did you find them?" asked Shippou, scampering over and hopping on the silent monks shoulder.
"What? Hmm…yes. I found them..," Miroku replied distractedly. Sango ran over, looked up into the trees and promptly gasped, turning quite red.
"Close your eyes, you lech!" yelled Kagome as she tried to close her legs and block the view Miroku was enjoying.
"Yeah! Don't you dare look!" Inuyasha added angrily.
"At you? Not a chance," Miroku said genially. "The lovely lady Kagome and her intriguing undergarments on the other hand…"
"Sango! Do something!" pleaded the embarrassed schoolgirl.
"I can't!" the demon slayer said in distress. "Inuyasha is completely indecent!"
"I slipped out of my pants!" the hanyou repeated loudly. "It wasn't on purpose!"
"I'm going to have to try that one," Miroku said in admiration. "Who would have thought you were so sly, Inuyasha? 'I fell out of them.' Genius!"
"I'll kill you, monk! I swear!"
"Stop looking!" Kagome demanded as Miroku peered intensely at the view she was giving him.
"I do apologize but my head and eyes have frozen in one place," Miroku said with a grin. "How was that one Inuyasha?" he joked.
"I hate you and I have no idea why I haven't killed you before now!" the exposed half demon snarled.
"Sango! Hit him!" Kagome shouted.
"I can't! Inuyasha is not covered!" the demon slayer insisted.
Kagome looked up at an enraged Inuyasha and hissed, "This is your fault!"
"Bite me!" the hanyou retorted.
Miroku whistled. "Perhaps those of us on the ground should leave…?"
"I'm going to kill you when I get down," Kagome promised darkly and Miroku blanched at the honest threat in her eyes.
The atmosphere between the four adults was extremely tense once Kirara had rescued the pair and Inuyasha and Kagome were again on the ground. Shippou looked between the blushing girls, the miserably humiliated Inuyasha (with the knot to his pants tied twice as hard as usual) and the discreetly leering Miroku.
"Well one good thing came out of this," the fox youkai announced optimistically. Five pairs of eyes swung toward him, each questioning his mental stability for seeing something positive in the situation. "Now we know Inuyasha was being honest when he told Kouga he wasn't competition."
Choked gasps escaped from Miroku and the girls as they stared the tiny youkai who was obviously less innocent then they had thought. Inuyasha, on the other hand, nodded slowly and a grin broke out on his face.
"Yeah," he said slowly. "It was a shame that wolf shit wasn't here."
"Inuyasha?" Kagome said sweetly, stalking close to the smirking half demon.
Quickly Inuyasha placed a hand over Kagome's mouth. "I said it wasn't my fault!" he insisted again. "Say that word and I'll-"
He truly should have known better.
In
an unexpected move, Kagome punched her knee into Inuyasha's balls.
His eyes widened and his breath whistled out in a high pitch whine.
Slowly he toppled to the floor at a sinisterly pleased Kagome's
feet, gagging in pain. She glared at Miroku and Shippou who both
automatically covered their vulnerable areas in an instinctual
maneuver and shuffled away from her.
Spinning around, Kagome
marched past the three males and mounted Kirara. "Coming Sango?"
she asked curtly.
Blinking at this newly revealed ferocious Kagome, the demon slayer nodded once. "Nice form on the kick," she complimented her friend as she climbed up behind her.
"Thank you," said Kagome pleasantly.
"I don't get females…," Shippou murmured as Kirara took off.
"Who does?" whispered back Miroku, still not taking his hands away from his crotch.
They looked at the fallen Inuyasha, still whimpering on the floor and shuddered simultaneously.
Women were not creatures to be trifled with. Even if you had seen their panties.
0
0
0
0
0
A/N: Hehe! I don't know why but I can see this happening, Inuyasha mooning and flashing the world and hollering like a three year old with an earache about it. I just found this whole idea terribly amusing and will probably have Inuyasha embarrassed in one way or another at least once more.
A fundoshi is Japanese male undergarment that's was worn in Inuyasha's time but isn't nowadays. You know what a sumo wrestler wears? That loincloth? That's a fundoshi.
Review please!
