13 years ago
"Your deposition hearing has been switched until Thursday at 9, you have a business lunch with Cameron Dennis at 1pm, and also you need to complete my employment assessment form before tomorrow," Donna informed Harvey, handing over a pile of papers with the blank assessment sheet on top.
"Why don't you fill it out, and I'll sign it off," Harvey suggested hopefully. It wasn't that he disliked paperwork - it was that he loathed bullshit paperwork. What he classified as 'bullshit paperwork' was on a carefully crafted scale, and it included any piece of paper that he had to complete which wouldn't change a damn thing.
"Because if I fill it out, you'll have to explain to your bosses why you authorized a 200% pay increase for me." Donna knew how much Harvey hated paperwork, and under normal circumstances she would have filled it in on his behalf, but this particular employee assessment was more important than others – the District Attorney himself was up for re-election, and with every election came a restructuring of the department. Harvey (and by proxy, Donna) had little to worry about – but it would still look bad for Donna to complete her own employee assessment form.
Knowing that he was defeated, Harvey picked up the form with a heavy sigh and skimmed it over.
"Alright. Let's do this now." He sounded less enthused by this than by going to his dentist. It didn't exactly inspire confidence in Donna that he didn't immediately throw together a glowing review, but it would be easy to coax him into it. She sat down on the other side of his desk with an earnest wiggle.
"You're going to let me see what you're going to say?"
"This is so you'll know what to write next time," Harvey joked, picking up a pen.
"I figured one word answers would make them believe that you wrote it," Donna remarked with a shrug. Harvey pretended to look offended, but he cracked a smile and started writing.
"Donna Paulsen has no problem insulting her superiors," he began, but all he was actually doing was writing her name and other details on the form.
"Harvey Specter has a fragile ego. Can dish it out but can't take it," Donna mimicked his tone, grabbing a piece of paper and started writing her own assessment of her boss. She could then frame it, and give it to him as a Christmas gift. It would help when his head needed to deflate.
"Strengths. Hmmm…" Harvey surveyed Donna up and down before putting an answer.
"Bench presses about 65 pounds. Have yet to arm-wrestle with her for an accurate assessment of her strength."
"65 pounds? Are you fucking kidding me?" Donna Paulsen was no weakling. She wasn't a bodybuilder, but Harvey's guess at her levels of strength was insulting.
"Okay, 66," Harvey conceded, crossing out his previous judgment.
"I bet you couldn't do a keg stand without anyone holding your legs," Donna retorted. This revelation distracted Harvey from the assessment. He stared at her in wonderment for a few seconds before his scepticism set in.
"You can't do a keg stand," Harvey scoffed, leaning back in his seat. Donna raised an eyebrow knowingly.
"I have amazing upper body strength," Donna replied confidently.
"I'm sorry, but I can't take your word for it." Harvey shrugged. She was offended that he didn't believe her, until she realised the real reason he was contradicting her.
"You just want to see me do one," Donna accused. The opportunity to impress Harvey with something else beyond her job was tempting, but it would take an extremely unprofessional scenario for that to happen.
"That's exactly it," Harvey grinned. Donna rolled her eyes, and tapped her pen on his piece of paper.
"Focus! You have a deadline!" Harvey was still trying to picture Donna doing a keg stand, but he moved on to the next part of the assessment.
"Weaknesses. What are your weaknesses?" Harvey looked up at Donna questioningly. Donna didn't give him any indication of what to put. For once, he was completely stumped.
"I'll just put 'perfectionist', 'works too hard', 'disobeys her superiors'…" At Donna's unsavoury expression, he tried to justify his choice of words.
"Well, I don't know what your weaknesses are. You don't let me see them. You know what my weaknesses are," Harvey pointed out.
"Well, that's my job. I'm your assistant. I'm here to help you be a better lawyer, not for you to be my life coach."
Harvey cocked his head slightly to his left and gazed at Donna sincerely; the switch in tone of their conversation put her on edge. When it came to their job, she was fine with them being serious, but when it came to their personal lives, she preferred to keep it light-hearted.
"You can tell me, you know. I won't put it on the form." His tone of voice made her feel like she was at a middle-school slumber party. She didn't trust it one bit.
"My weaknesses? Anything with chocolate, an Irish accent, and my right ankle," Donna responded glibly.
"That's it?" Harvey was a little disappointed. He wouldn't be able to put any of that on her assessment.
"That's it," Donna confirmed with a nod. Any other weaknesses Harvey would have to figure out himself.
Present day
Donna stared at her right ankle resentfully.
"This is all your fault," she told it. If she hadn't fallen in her audition, it would have been easier for Donna to follow up the incriminating photographs of Sadie and the Terrence Wolf. But she wouldn't be able to figure it out by herself. With the revelation that Sadie was in close contact with the DA, she was torn as to who to approach first. Louis was immediately out; he already had somewhat of a grudge towards Harvey's secretary, and she knew that he would up the ante and let Sadie know that they were onto her. Even if it wasn't intentional. The confirmation that Sadie was the one to touch his dictaphone would be akin to arming a young child with an atom bomb. Especially when Sadie had done so to compromise the firm that he constantly battled for. But Donna was nothing if not a professional; she would at least inform him that he needed to be more cautious around Sadie, and his dictaphone.
Donna had summoned Louis into the partner's lounge when she was sure that Sadie was out helping Harvey with a client meeting. After a full night of pondering and deliberating over what on earth was going on, Donna had growing concerns that their offices might be bugged. Donna hadn't been in the partner's lounge since she had worked for Harvey (although she spent little time there even then) and she didn't want to risk running into him just yet. She was still feeling raw from their last exchange, and his face was the last thing she wanted to see.
Her best approach was to go with just enough truth so that Louis wouldn't accidentally reveal to Sadie what was going on. She knew the best way to appeal to Louis' ego and attitude towards the young woman.
"You know Harvey's new secretary?" Her voice was tantalizing with the promise of rumours. Louis usually considered gossip to be childish and petty (especially when it was about him), but if Donna was offering the opportunity to vent about the newest threat to his authority, then he was all ears. Louis nodded, intrigued. Her hook had worked.
"I'm worried about her, Louis." It wasn't technically a lie, but the reasons why would be somewhat different from her true sentiments.
"Why? What's wrong?"
Donna craned her neck to scan the room, making sure no-one was in earshot. When she was confident in her surroundings, she leaned in close to whisper to Louis.
"I think she's got a serious problem. I don't want to say what it is, but there's a few things you can do to minimise how her problem might affect us. Can you do them for me?" She was banking on Louis suspecting that the problem was that Sadie had kleptomania.
"Okay, Donna. What is it?" She thanked her lucky stars that despite what Louis might have said to her recently, that he still trusted her implicitly. Or at least, he was the one person that trusted her more than Sadie.
"You need to be more careful with your dictaphone. Don't make personal comments about cases on it, and don't let it out of your sight. In fact, it would probably be best if you avoided all discussions on things related to work and the firm on it for the time-being. Can you do that?"
"Of course. Anything else?" Louis used his dictaphone more for his personal musings nowadays, and since it went missing he was more vigilant than ever. Donna's request was an easy one.
"Yeah. Just stay away from Sadie in general."
"Already done. Harvey's weirdly protective of her. I'm free to give Mike a hard time, but the minute she crosses my path, I can't set her straight because he's already there telling me to back off." From his bitter tone, Donna sensed that Louis already suspected Sadie in the dictaphone debacle. At least she wouldn't have to worry about him giving potentially sensitive information where it would leave the firm, unless of course it was an accident. And Donna could only go so far to prevent such accidents.
Her first instinct had been to approach Jessica about her suspicions. But to tell Jessica would mean that it would get back to Harvey (and Louis) without Donna telling them herself. Plus, there was the whole issue that she had no proof that she was comfortable with to present to Jessica, and she was in an unfortunate position where her word didn't have as much influence or credibility as of late.
The next option was to tell Harvey the truth. It wasn't a particularly enticing idea. Given their last conversation, any accusation against his secretary was likely to be taken the wrong way. But he was the first person that she wanted to tell. If it weren't for the fact that Sadie was his secretary, she'd be going to him because he was the only person she trusted implicitly to fix it. She knew it was a bad idea, but she didn't care.
It had been a week and a half since their fight when Harvey stopped by Donna's spot in the file room as if nothing had happened between them.
"Rumour has it you're dating a photographer." For God's sake. She was in no mood to defend herself, so she tried an evasive answer.
"That's what they've been saying," she deadpanned. Harvey was the last person who paid attention to gossip. If anyone else but Mike had told him, he would have laughed in
"Alright, I'll rephrase. Rumour has it that you specifically told Mike that you're dating a photographer." There was no mistaking his playful tone, but she couldn't tell whether he was laughing at her or teasing her gently.
"I didn't think you cared."
"I don't." Why was it that Donna could always tell when he was lying, but he never questioned it even when she lied to him? It occurred to her that it was because he had always trusted her to the hilt, and that made her heart sink a little.
As he sat down beside her, uninvited, she noticed that his tie was a little crooked. Half of Donna was glad that Sadie hadn't taken it upon herself to fix it for him and had left him in a state of marginal disarray. The other half of Donna, however, was cringing and wanted to immediately reach up and fix it herself. But they didn't do that anymore.
"What are you looking at me like that for?" Harvey had picked up on her scrunching her nose at him; it made him oddly self-conscious. She flicked a finger upwards in the direction of his tie. He angled his neck to glance down at his tie; he couldn't see anything wrong with it.
"What? It looks fine."
"Fine if you're an unemployed philosophy professor." Donna retorted.
"I'd rather be a philosophy professor than a photographer." Harvey replied, taking off his jacket and placing it on the chair next to him. Donna didn't like that. That meant that he wasn't just swinging by, he planned to be there for a while.
"At least photographers tend to have a sense of style." Harvey puffed up his chest defensively at the implication that he was dressed less than impeccably. It was remarkably satisfying to cause him offence.
"There's nothing wrong with my tie!" He gave it an absent-minded twiddle, which made it even worse. What was so aggravating about the situation was that he was normally extremely dexterous at aligning his tie. In the space of a week or two, his ability to dress himself had somehow thrown itself off the 55th floor.
"Oh my God, you are so infuriating sometimes," Donna moaned, massaging her face tiredly with both of her hands. With all that was going on, she couldn't believe this was the conversation she was having. In that moment, they were in a parallel universe where she still worked for him and things were the same as they'd always been.
"If you're so annoyed by it, you fix it." Donna glared at him, not making any movement. Harvey tried to fix it again, but he was worsening the situation even further. Donna instinctively reached up and swatted his hands away.
"The shit I have to put up with," she muttered, focusing intently on the tie she was now adjusting and very intently not focusing on Harvey's face inches from hers. Out the corner of her eye, she could swear that he was grinning. She found the situation wholly unfunny. It was reflected in aggressive way she fixed his tie; smarter men would have sensed how close she was to choking him and backed away. Harvey certainly didn't doubt that she was capable of doing so. It was uncertain whether it was out of trust or a thirst for danger that Harvey ignored all these warning signs and left his life in her hands.
Donna allowed herself to glance up at Harvey's face. If he was grinning before, he certainly wasn't now. His gaze was so intense that Donna couldn't hold it for longer than a few seconds. It was his lips so close to hers that she now found herself focusing on. He moved his face the slightest bit closer to hers. Shit. Her fingers grew limp and she pulled away from him, leaving his tie still slightly askew.
"Donna..." Harvey said gruffly; he was stinging with the sudden lack of her touch.
"Are you trying to piss me off? Of all the people you could have gotten to fix your tie, and you come to me," Donna tried to laugh the tension off, but her unsteady voice betrayed her. She knew her cheeks were pink, and she started shuffling through the papers in front of her so she didn't have to meet his eyes. She would have to re-sort them later, but it was better than the alternative - which was to acknowledge what had nearly just happened.
"Donna..." Harvey repeated, sounding a little more irritated. He couldn't possibly be annoyed that she had stopped them from kissing, could he?
"What do you want from me?!" It came out louder than Donna had meant. She was lucky that the file room was otherwise empty, because it would have elicited stares. It was more than a simple question; it was anguish, it was anger, it was fear. And for once, Harvey didn't shirk away from the question.
"I want to move on. I'm sick of this bullshit where we don't talk, we only fight. I know you've been avoiding me, and I want it to stop. I want you back in my life." Harvey Specter was her biggest weakness that she'd never admit. But she was trying her hardest not to succumb to her weaknesses. Her ankle had done enough. Harvey's plea for them to move on made it almost impossible, but she managed to avoid the temptation. Plus, there was another obstacle.
"We can't yet."
"Why not?" It was time for the moment of truth. He had to know, and it had to come from her first. Even if he didn't believe it. Which she still knew he wouldn't.
"Because I have a secret that you won't believe me if I told you." She could have lied and said that it was because she wasn't ready, but he was going to have to find out sometime.
"You are dating a photographer?!" There was horror on his face, but even this lie would be easier than the truth.
"No! God, no. Harvey, Sadie met with the DA last week. I think she might be working with him against us." Donna watched him carefully for his response. His face was emotionless and he didn't speak for about a minute.
"Working with him how?" he asked finally. It was still difficult to gauge whether he believed her or not.
"I don't know." Donna admitted. She was regretting not waiting until she had more proof, but it was going to be a difficult scenario no matter when she told him.
"And going against us in what way, exactly?" Oh. It was mocking. He didn't believe her. That was why they couldn't move on. Harvey's trust in her couldn't be rebuilt overnight. When he trusted her enough to say exactly how he loved her, only then would she let herself entertain the possibility. But they were still far from it, and the thought was aggravating.
"I don't know, Harvey, okay! I just know what I saw, I know what I heard, and I figured that I'd do the polite thing, and let you know first that your secretary might be a spy!" Donna trilled.
"You're out of your goddamn mind," Harvey said, shaking his head and getting up from his seat. It was becoming a familiar sight. But she'd been expecting it. All it did was make her more determined to make sure that she was right.
"I wasn't asking you to condone what I'm doing, Harvey." He knew now, and there was nothing more that Donna could do. Until she had more evidence. That was her next step.
"Then why are you even bothering?"
"So I can say 'I told you so' later!" Donna had never wished harder that she'd be able to say that to a person. But it was going to take time.
It was a cliché to say that being a workaholic was someone's weakness, but at times it certainly could be Donna's downfall. It was partially out of convenience, and partially out of dread of going home that Donna started sleeping at work on a frequent basis. Very little sleep was actually had on those nights, however. When she didn't want to go home, she'd find a stack of paperwork to be sorted to make life easier for the associates (never had they had it easier), or on her more desperate nights she'd find a law textbook and try and channel Mike's ability to ingest knowledge at lightning speeds. After the close call with Mike, she'd made the decision to leave anything relating to her investigation on Sadie at home, and even as she slowly acquired more information, it lead her nowhere. When she was stuck at home, it reminded her of how little she knew about what was going on. If she was at work, she could at least kid herself that she was getting something done. But not in the file room. After what had nearly happened there between her and Harvey, she was eager to stay away as much as possible.
Donna had kept herself so wrapped up in work and her suspicions, that Louis' innocent comment one day put her on the defence.
"How did your doctor's appointment go?" Louis had returned early from a consultation with a new client. His presence was surprising enough, let alone him knowing about her doctor's appointment.
"What doctor's appointment?" Donna knew about the appointment, but she had skipped it. It was scheduled during work hours, and she couldn't bring herself to tear away from work to be told things that she likely knew already.
"You didn't go, did you?" She couldn't quite tell whether he was worried or disappointed. Probably both. Either way, she had the overwhelming urge to vacate the room immediately, which was less than possible in her condition.
"Louis, my leg is fine." Another secret weakness of Donna's: she hated hospitals. Her physician's office was a lot cushier than the local ER, but it still had that smell that creeped her out. And there was the chance that if her leg wasn't healing properly, then she'd have to get surgery.
"Donna, I had a talk with Jessica. And we both agree that you should take a few days off so you can focus on your health." She wasn't expecting that. Even the idea made Donna feel sick.
"What?! You never let Norma take a sick day!" Donna was half accusing Louis, and half pleading with him. The absolute last thing she needed was to be sent home from work.
"And look how that turned out! Donna, I care about you, and you're obviously exhausted. You're doing nobody any good by staying at work." Donna clenched her hands into fists as she tried her hardest not to tear up. With only three hours sleep, waterworks tended to switch on more frequently.
"Louis, I need to stay at work." Donna would go certifiably insane if she had to stay at home surrounded by her thoughts. But Louis misunderstood her plea.
"Donna, don't worry. We'll manage. I've already told some of our clients that I won't be in contact as much this week."
"When did you do that?!" Donna demanded. The thought of Louis going behind her back to do her job was humiliating.
"It was when you were sleeping in the library this morning." Oh, God. She could have sworn that she only closed her eyes for a few seconds. She didn't want to consider how many people had seen her sleeping. At least it would take heat off the photographer rumour, which she had regretted from the instant she had invented him.
"Talk to Harvey, he knows why I can't leave work at the moment." It was highly unlikely that Harvey would agree with Donna that she needed to stay at work, especially when half the reason was so she could keep tabs on his secretary, but she needed to stall. If Louis went and talked to Harvey, maybe she could sneak off and find another part of the building where she could do work. Donna needed to stay in the firm so she could continue to keep an ear out for gossip. It had been useful in the past, but she wouldn't be able to benefit from home.
"Alright, I'll go and talk to Harvey now. But you really should take the afternoon off." She did not argue as Louis started to leave.
"Absolutely." Not. But she was just about to depart her desk when the phone rang. She picked up the phone out of habit.
"Hello, Louis Litt's office?"
She was still dealing with phone calls when Louis returned, this time with Harvey in tow. Reinforcements. Donna couldn't believe that Harvey had agreed to do this, much less to do it for Louis. But then she remembered that he had consulted with Jessica and figured that Jessica had probably asked him.
"Jesus, Donna, you look awful. Go home." A typical Harvey response. Louis had tried to be sympathetic and appeal to that side of her to convince her to go home. But Harvey had no time for that. He was never the type to mollycoddle anyone. Fuck them both. She wasn't going to make it easy for them.
"No," Donna snarled. They'd have to drag her out of the building kicking and screaming. She wasn't afraid to make a scene. Hell, she thrived in it. But they had come prepared.
"Okay, Donna, here's the thing. Sadie's at the courthouse right now, picking up your temporary trespass order. So either you can you home quietly, or we can have you arrested as soon as she gets back. Consider yourself persona non grata." The moment knew that Donna really did need to go home was when she seriously considered getting arrested. If she got arrested, she'd be closer in theory to Terrence Wolf. But that was a step too far.
"Okay," Donna replied meekly. She picked up her bag, and started hobbling out the door in her crutches. She knew that the scene would have attracted attention, but she held her head high as Louis and Harvey escorted her out. Before Donna could get in the elevator, Harvey had something to add.
"I'll have Sadie swing by later with the paperwork."
"You son of a bitch," Donna snapped at him. But it wouldn't be until much, much later that she'd realise that by doing this, Harvey had sent her a gift straight to her door.
