That smell! I think wildly to myself, it sickeningly sweet, and something I know all too well. I whip around, back and forth in my seat trying to locate the lizard mutts who are coming to decapitate me as they did Finnick, but I see none. Peeta wraps his arms around me restrictively, clearly not understanding the danger before us. The mutts that are coming to steal us away from each other.
"Lizard mutts." I whisper quietly to him, hoping he will understand, and we can run.
"Not real Katniss, not real…" he whispers back to me softly, clearly trying to avoid making a scene, this calms me down somewhat. I bury my face in his chest momentarily trying to escape the smell. But it refuses to go away. I lift my face out of the protection of Peeta to survey my surroundings, and locate the danger.
Roses... that is the putrid smell invading my lungs and burning them worse than the smoke in my first Games. I see the source of the roses as well, it's Ophelia. Never before have I wanted to harm a young girl so badly before, not even in the Games. But this girl looks at me with beady eyes, and knowing, she knows what this smell does to me, and she smirks. Automatically my hands reach for a bow that is not there, ready to load it with an arrow that is not there either. To shoot it through the rose directly over her heart, although she is in a dress completely made of roses.
Peeta once again steadies me, now realizing the subject of my near insanity. I am scarred, as he is, and we will be forever. Sometimes I wonder how people see me; Peeta never has episodes in public anymore, now it is only a matter of keeping me at ease. Do people see me as crazy and unstable as Annie? They can't, I don't cover my ears for no reason during conversations, but the smell of roses sends me into a near frenzy.
Why Peeta loves a broken girl like me? I don't know. Damaged. Set on fire, tainted with acid, alone, hurtful, and a killer. I could live 3,000 lifetimes…
"Not real, not real", he murmurs softly into my hair, and I relax. We are stationed inside the interview waiting room, because we are scheduled for our first interview with Caesar, since the rebellion, since Peeta was dragged and beaten on stage for saving my life. Unfortunately, we are scheduled last, meaning I can't focus on any interviews; all I focus on is Peeta, the only real thing in my world. His strong jaw, golden hair, and piercing blue eyes. He looks down at me, holding me with his gaze, slowly he leans down and kisses me, suddenly I forget where I am, what I'm supposed to be doing, and the gnawing desire for him is back, that feeling stirs inside me, making me want more. That happens every time now, but some stronger than others.
"They did wonderful on their interviews, I know you weren't paying attention." He says shyly as he breaks the kiss. This is good news I remind myself. District 12 is done, signaling it is his and I's turn. I stand up straightly as he pulls me along gently; I straighten my shoulders, and hold my head high.
As we walk out onto stage, I am the Girl on Fire, I am the Mockingjay, or should I say we are, Peeta is as much a part of me as I am a part of him now. We are one.
Peeta smiles brightly at the audience, I try mustering a smile, I'm shell shocked, nervous, as I have always had a hard time being in front of this audience. No longer do I have Cinna to focus on in the audience, but I do have Peeta by my side, which is enough for me. Peeta has that natural ease in front of the audience, and a connection with Caesar. Lucky he does, I'm too occupied with my effort of not letting them see how much I hate them.
"Ah our District 12 lovebird victors!" Caesar Flickman says with a smile.
"Nice to see you again Caesar", Peeta greats him.
As they talk I can see the pain in Caesars expression, their last conversation Peeta was beaten, bloodied, and tortured.
"Hello", I say politely.
"What an honor having our Mockingjay with us tonight, am I right folks?" he asks the audience with the utmost enthusiasm. I smile.
Peeta leads me over to what is now a love seat, around it, beautiful primroses. I feel a lump rise in my throat. Instead I focus on Peeta's face as he guides me to sit down, clearly aware of my distraction. The light shines on his face beautifully, his lips may smile, but his underlying expression is strained, as if he's fighting an episode.
"Not real, not real", I murmur softly in his ear as I sit, so nobody notices, I never imagined the painful memories this must bring to him...
"I just love seeing you two together", starts Caesar, "possibly two of my favorite Victors, it's like you are so connected, your one victor."
I smile, it's exactly my thoughts.
"Seems like it." I say. He smiles, I feel Peeta extend his arm across my shoulders. And he leans down to kiss me on the top of my head.
"So Peeta, it's been quite a journey for you since we last spoke", I feel Peeta stiffen next to me. The audience appears to grow to me. "Give me some insight on those events leading to today."
"Yes it has been a journey", Peeta says darkly, unseen horrors swimming behind his eyes, "but I got through it all thanks to Katniss. After I was rescued, I suffered horrible visions from being hijacked, I still do, but I can control them now, they wanted to make me hate Katniss; they wanted me to kill her. After the war, now that we're both recovered, we're more in love than ever."
He grabs my hand gently and presents the ring to the Capitol. A sigh runs through the audience.
"And now, we can have a real wedding." he said simply.
"That is so sweet! You two saved each other once again." Caesar swoons. "Now Katniss, we all know you were the face of this change in government, for Peeta, so why is there this final Hunger Games?"
"So you understand." I say with a rough edge to my voice, it's breaking; all I can think about is the deaths, forever the deaths. Peeta takes over for me.
"As victors, we are separate beings from the rest of the world, and we will forever be. We can never be repaid for what has been done to us and what has been taken from us." As he speaks these last words, Peeta lifts his pants to reveal his prosthetic leg.
"Well we'll never stop trying to repay you all, that's for sure." Caesar says with a sheepish smile.
I recover enough to let out two more words, "I know."
