I entered the closet and leaned against the wall, Natsuki was sifting through the shelves. I leaned over and tapped her on the shoulder, "yo."
"Good. Didn't think you'd show." She said, turning to me.
"Alas I have indeed shown up."
"Why are you talking like that?"
"I don't know, just felt like it." I said shrugging.
"You're weird."
"Aren't we all?"
She rolled her eyes and turned back to the shelf. She began sporadically pushing aside books and binders. "RRRGHHH. Where is it!?" She grunted.
"You looking for your manga?" I asked.
"Yes..." she sighed, still rifling through the shelf.
She poked her head outside the closet, "Monika! Did you move my manga again!?"
I looked over at Monika, she was still sitting next to Ryan, though Ryan looked a little worse for wear.
"Yes, they're supposed to be at the top, that's what the teacher said, remember?" Monika answered.
"Hmmph!" Natsuki crossed her arms and retreated back into the closet. She pulled out the step ladder and climbed to the top. She began patting her hand around the top shelf, but she couldn't see all of it.
"Ahem," I coughed, "let me grab it Natsuki, and yes, I'm offering my help because I think you're short."
She scowled at me, but reluctantly stepped down, allowing us to switch places. I could hear her shoe tapping against the floor impatiently as I got to the top of the ladder. I pushed all the textbooks and binders out of the way, yet still, I could not manage to find the manga.
Ah there it is.
The manga was in the very back of everything, all the way hidden in the corner. I grabbed it and climbed back down.
"Here you are." I said handing it over.
"Thanks." She hastily replied. "C'mon, let's finish this already."
We both stepped out of the closet and took our seats under the window sill. I shuffled around, adjusting my collar and my vest so I wasn't sitting on it. I leaned back onto the wall and watched as Natsuki carefully took out the first volume of Parfait Girls from the set. She set aside the box and placed the manga on her knees, allowing us both to see everything clearly.
"So what page were we even on?" I asked.
"Page 43, right in the middle of the big bake-off." She said opening the book to the page.
As we read on together, I couldn't help but notice Natsuki wasn't too keen on it. Her eyes were slightly closed like she was tired. I lowered my head to her eye level, "hey, Natsuki... are you alright? You seem kind of off."
She didn't take her eyes off the book, "I'm fine."
"Mmm, if you say so."
She sighed, "it's nothing alright?"
"When does nothing, ever mean nothing."
"Gaje, lay off." She coldly replied.
"See, now I want to know even more, what's up?"
She growled and closed the book, "look! I'm fine! Why do you care!?"
"Because we're friends."
Her face relaxed, the anger seemingly washing away. "I... I can't get into it, I'm sorry."
I stopped pressing her, there was no way she would tell me right now. "Okay, I'll lay off... sorry."
She looked away with what I could only imagine was sadness or regret. "It's not your fault... it's just been a hard couple of days."
I've dealt with people going through hard times all my life, but no one knows what to say in these situations... everyone's different.
"Look, Natsuki, I just want you to know, no matter what is going on, you can rely on me. Nothing you say can deter me from being your friend, I-"
"Time to share poems everyone!"
Oh. My. Fucking. God. MONIKA WHY?!
Natsuki and I both stood up, I looked at her emotionlessly. I tried to recuperate what I said, paraphrasing what I said before. "Look, no matter what you're going through, you can tell me."
She shook off what I said, "you should go share with the others. Shouldn't keep them waiting."
I nodded disheartenedly and walked away. I took out my poem from my pocket and unfolded it; I looked around the room, Ryan was passed out, Monika and Sayori were talking, and Yuri was patiently waiting sitting at her desk observing the others.
"H-hey Yuri." I sighed.
"Hey... are you alright?" She asked.
"Huh? Oh, sorry, no, it's something dumb. Anyways, here." I held out my poem and she lightly grabbed it.
She skimmed through the poem, I could see her pupils dilate and contract as she moved from line to line.
"Terrible right?" I said, mocking myself.
"No!" She blurted out, sporting a shocked expression. Her face relaxed, "sorry, that was a bit too loud..."
"I don't think anyone else heard you, so I think it's fine."
She lowered her head, reading over the writing once more. "It's not a bad poem Gaje."
"Yuri, I wrote this in like a second, there's not even a meaning behind it."
"You say that, yet your emotions can still be felt in it." She rebutted, handing me the paper back.
I took it back and looked over it once more. I feel like she's just saying that to be nice.
I looked back at Yuri, she was twirling her hair.
"um, Yuri?"
"Y-yes!?" She exclaimed.
"Your poem?" I said pointing to her desk.
"O-oh! Yes, here."
I smiled and took the paper from her grip, it was the poem about her self harm. I read through the entire thing and turned back to her. "Yuri, I need to talk to you, in private. If it's okay with you."
"H-huh?"
"Just follow me outside real quick please." I said as I walked past her.
She stood up quickly, "wait, Gaje."
"It'll be quick I promise." I promptly replied.
I held the door open and Yuri walked out, I could feel the piercing stairs from Monika and Sayori as I followed Yuri out the doors. Please don't overthink this. I shut the door, Yuri and I walked further down the hall to the water fountain.
"W-what's this all about Ga-"
"I know you cut yourself Yuri."
Her body tensed up, her skin began glistening from sweat permeating across her forehead. "W-what? I-I don't-"
"Yuri, look, I know we aren't close friends. But I'm worried about you... this kind of thing isn't healthy."
Her hands were shaking at the sides of her body. "H-how did you find out?" She asked, her voice shaking.
Okay. I didn't think this through. Saying I figured it out through the poem is kind of far-fetched.
"How I found out isn't really the issue here Yuri. Just, please, tell me. Why do you do it?"
She seemed reluctant to say anything, her lips trembled whenever she wanted to open her mouth.
"Yuri I won't judge you, look I'll tell you something about me first if you want." I said.
She nodded quickly in response.
I had nothing in particular I could tell her, no dirty secrets, no weird habits, nothing. The only thing I could possibly imagine would be telling her that I'm a god. She'd likely think I was joking and feel hurt. My only real option was...
"I love Sayori." The words came out of my mouth with zero hesitation. I instantly looked away to avoid her looks.
"Y-you like… Sayori?"
"Yes." I replied instantly.
"Well I suppose that only makes sense, you've been friends for most of your life."
I looked back at her, my face felt hot and my chest was stinging. "Okay, your turn now. Why do you cut yourself?"
"Originally, I did it because the feeling of the blade gliding through my skin was like an explosion of fervid wonders. But, that feeling eventually went away, so I cut more and more, and the blood became the center of my attention. When I saw it pouring out it just gave me a sense of euphoria, my mind would go blank and I could finally relax."
"That um. I don't really know how to respond to that…"
I didn't expect her to actually answer that lengthily.
"I'm sorry if this makes you hate me now, b-but please don't tell the others."
"No, Yuri I don't hate you. I consider you my friend, now and forever. I'll keep your secret, I won't tell anyone else."
"Are you certain?"
"Uh… yes?" I laughably replied.
"Okay... I-I trust you."
I took out a sheet of paper from my pocket, "I want you to take this. If you ever get the urge to cut, please, please, call me. Or text."
She grabbed the small slip and stared down at it, "o-okay, I will."
"Alright, well she should probably go back in, who knows what they're thinking."
Her eyes widened, "ah! Y-yes you're right we should."
I walked to the door and held it open, "after you."
We both walked into the room. Monika was sitting at the teacher's desk reclined in the teacher's chair, with her legs across the desk, Ryan was still dead asleep, and Sayori was talking with Natsuki by the closet. I waved goodbye to Yuri and walked over to Monika.
"Welcome back Gaje, what were you two doing outside?" She asked in an intrigued tone.
"Talking."
"About..?"
"I am not at liberty to say."
"I see, I see, it's hush, hush and all." She took her legs off the desk and pushed the chair in, "well, let's see your poem for today."
She held her hand out expectantly. I handed her the folded piece of paper and watched on as she skimmed through it.
"This one's nothing like yesterdays, did you decide to try another style?"
"I guess so, I don't really stick to a style, it's random, like me."
"Interesting… well it's okay, but your first was better." She said handing it back.
"Yeah... let's see yours then."
She slid her paper across the desk, I picked it up and I instantly noticed, something about her poem felt… off. It was called Hate Me... Talk about setting a mood. I read through it expectant of the same thing, yet it stuck true to its title.
Does Monika have an issue as well now? I'm probably overthinking it again.
I got near the ending of the poem, which had also changed; no longer was it 'load me,' it had become 'loathe me.'
I passed the poem back, "hmm, impressive. This one was better than yesterday's."
She looked at me with an 'I told you so,' attitude and took the paper up. Her head turned, looking behind me. "Looks like someone's waiting for you, best hurry."
I turned around Sayori was sitting in the front row, waving violently.
"It looks like it." I mumbled.
I walked away from the desk and over by Sayori. She patted the seat next to her, "sit,sit,sit!"
I did as she excitedly requested. She wasted no time, slapping her poem down onto the desk in front of me. "Here, read it!"
I held my hands up, "okay, calm down jeez." I picked up the paper, it was her self-proclaimed 'best poem ever.' She stared me down, a twinkle in her eyes. I handed it back after shortly finishing.
"So!?" She squeed.
"It's great? I really liked the imagery. It's your best one so far."
"Of course, I told you I'd make the bestest poem ever!"
"That you did. Mine's nowhere as good..." I responded.
"I'm sure yours is great, c'mon hand it over!"
I passed it to her and rested my hand on my chin, holding my head up. She read the poem with zeal, never taking her eyes off of it. When she finished reading she placed the paper on my head. I looked up at it waiting for gravity to take its course and kick it off.
"What were you talking about Gaje, it was great!"
"I'll take your word for it. I wrote it in like a second."
"Well that makes it even more better!" She said smiling. "Oooh! So what were you doing with Yuri?"
"Ah… I can't really tell you Sayori, I'm sorry."
She scrunched her mouth and crinkled her nose, "why not!?"
"Because I swore to Yuri I wouldn't tell anyone." I said clasping my hands together.
She quirkily turned away from me, "fine."
"You're not really mad are you?"
A small giggle betrayed her, she turned back, "no…"
"Okay, well I have to share with Natsuki now, I don't think there's much time left." I said my goodbye and got up from the desk. I looked at the closet ahead of me, Natsuki was curled up, lying in the bottom shelf's cubbyhole. I walked by her side then knelt down to her level.
"Natsuki." I placed my hand on her shoulder and began shaking her. "Hey, wake up. Wake up, wake up, wake u-"
"W-what!?" She growled pushing my arm away.
"Poem." I responded holding my paper up to her face.
She reached out and took it. She looked at it for second, and then handed it back. "Done. It's great."
"You didn't even read it though."
"So!?"
I rolled my eyes, "fine, give me yours."
She pointed at the wood above her head, "it's on top of the shelf."
I stood up and went to grab the paper.
"Hurry up!"
I sighed, "hold on, jeez." I knelt back down and began scanning the paper, "there I'm done. Now, let us get back to what we were talking about earlier."
"I said I was fine, remember!?"
Her anger was beginning to rub off on me. I could feel a flame lighting in my chest. "Yes. You did, but-"
"Then I'm fine." She said, rolling onto her side to continue her sleep.
I started slowly gritting my teeth. Just leave before you say something you regret. I turned around and walked out of the closet. Yuri was back to reading her book, Ryan was face down at his seat, drooling on the desk. Sayori was happily bobbing her head side to side as she was coloring some sheet of paper. I looked to Monika and gave her a thumbs up to indicate me finishing.
She got up out of her seat and walked to the podium at the front of the class. "Alright everyone! We're done for the day, so you can pack up and leave. Or you can stay for a while, and help me clean up."
I grabbed my stuff from the side of my desk, as I did I shot Yuri a concerned glare. I held my hand up to my ear in a phone shape, and mouthed a "call me." She nodded and began to pack her stuff up as well.
Ryan stood up and yawned loudly, he seemed to still be out of it. He slung his bag's strap over his shoulder and began walking out the door. He didn't say anything, he just turned into the hallway and closed the door.
"Where's Ryan off to? Does he know how to get back?"
"No he does not, so... we should probably catch up to him."
We both walked to the door. "Bye everyone." I said.
"Bye girls!" Sayori said.
Ryan was already walking down the stairs when we entered the hall. We both steadily increased our pace to keep up with him. I tried to call out to him, but he just kept walking, grinding against the wall the entire way. The school was quiet, most of the other clubs ended about 30 minutes ago. Sayori's and my shoes filled the halls with slapping sounds as we moved to the front doors. Ryan pushed open the front doors, he still hadn't noticed we were behind him, that or he just didn't seem to care. I sped up to hold it open for Sayori.
"Ryan!" I yelled out.
He stopped in place, "whaaaaaat?"
I walked up behind him, "wait for us, you're gonna get lost on the way back."
His head drooped down, he covered his face with his hands. "Gaje, do you think I can actually do this?"
"Uh... do what exactly?"
"Talk to Monika, you know..."
My eyes widened as I shot a quick glance at Sayori. "Ixnay on the talkingxay!" I whispered to him.
"I mean I can't just tell her I like her, she already thinks I'm weird..." He pulled his hands away and looked back up towards Sayori and me. He blinked once, twice, then... "oh. Oh! S-Sayori, you didn't hear what I said right?"
I covered my face, "I know that you need sleep, but, this bad?"
Sayori was practically about to explode, her mouth was agape. She ran up to Ryan, bringing him into an embrace. "Oh my goodness! This is great, Monika really needs a boyfriend." She let him go, Ryan's face exploded, his cheeks covered in red.
"Uh… thanks Sayori, I really needed the motivation." Ryan softly said.
"No problem!" She replied.
"Well if you two are quite done with your show of public affection, I'd like to go home now." I interrupted.
"Someone's mad he didn't get a hug!" Sayori cooed.
Sayori slowly walked towards me, arms wide open.
"No. I do not want a hug." I walked backwards, staying the same distance apart.
"C'mon… you do too!"
"No I don't."
"Meanie…"
Ryan decided to join in, furthering my embarrassment. "Yes you dooooo. You want a hug don't youuuuu." He said in a Yoda voice.
"Ryan, shut your face."
"I'm just doing the best I can…" He replied in sad tone.
"Your best is terrible."
"Hug barrage!"
Sayori jumped me while I was scolding Ryan.
"H-hay!" I hollered, as Sayori dragged me to the ground.
