WARNING: THIS STORY WILL HAVE FULL BLOWN X-RATED SHIT...just kidding...
"YOU ASSHOLE! STOP TACKLING PEOPLE! ARE YOU STUPID OR SOMETHING?!" Neji yelled at the ninja as he, Naruto, picked his ears.
"Nope…just traumatized as hell." Naruto sighed.
"N-neji-san!"
"Oh, kami-sama, its Hinata…DON'T TACKLE HER!"
"Don't worry…I'm not going go near the thing…I mean her."
"O-oh…hello, Naruto." Hinata blushed at her only crush in the freakin' world.
"Whatever. I already saw you."
"Shut up, turd." The older Hyuuga turned to his cousin. "Now, what do you want now, mega turd?"
"I…I…nevermindbye!" Hinata ran away.
"WATCH OUT FOR KAFARTSHI WHILE YOU'RE AT IT!"
"Kafartshi? Who's that?" Jiraiya asked seeing his crazy godson at it…again. "You shouldn't be…"
"YOU AIN'T MY DADDY! MY DAD'S DEAD YOU NINNY!" screamed Naruto drawing the attention of every single person in the village.
"Damn…no need to get sassy." The sanin rolled his eyes.
"Whatever…oh by the way…KAFARTSHI ALMOST KILLED ME!"
"SHUT THE FUCK UP YOU LITTLE HAIR BALL! I WISH YOU WOULD HAVE DIED WITH THAT DUMBASS FATHER OF YOURS! SUCK MY BALLS!"
"JIRAIYA!" Tsunade grabbed the man's ear. "How dare you say such a thing to Naruto?! You know what, you're coming with me, you prick!"
As she dragged the other Sanin away, it wasn't until they were out of site when Naruto thought about telling Tsunade about Kaka-Kakafartshi. "DAMN IT! NEJ, WE…Neji?"
"Oh yeah…you like it when I fuck you like that, don't you?" Neji making some suggestive movements with his hand with his back turned to the blonde ninja who was on the ground.
"NEJI!"
"SHIT!" Neji turned around. "What?!"
"Are you…never mind…I'm just gonna leave now." Naruto quickly walked off.
"Come on! Hurry up and put it inside of me!" Kakashi had his ass in the air.
"Come on, Kakashi. I only have one di…"
"Oh, Gai-sama!" Deidara was now wearing a sexy maid costume and was waving around a piece of lingerie.
"Just a minute, Dei, I…"
"Tobi wants some lovin' too…"
"I…wait…Dei stop slapping your ass…Tobi, how did you shove that that up your ass so fast?" Gai was in a tight spot. He had too many sexy lovers to fuck in one sit-in! He wasn't sure which one to fuck first or how to fuck them all without getting them all angry and betting the shit outta him.
"I'm so horny!" all three men whimpered (and Kakashi farted for the effect).
"Fine. Have a rock, paper, scissors contest and whoever wins, I'll have sex with them first. Ready, go!"
"ROCK, PAPER, SCISSORS!" Deidara's rock lost to Kakashi and Tobi's paper.
"DAMN!" the blonde pouted.
"ROCK PAPER SCISSORS!" This time Kakashi lost.
"DAMN IT!" He was so angry that he farted so hard that everyone, except himself, went into a coma.
"Looks like I win." He wasn't fully able to celebrate because Gai was knocked out. "Oosps…stupid gas! Oh well, more Gai for me!"
"You were masturbating…GROSS!"
"YOU DO IT TOO!" pouted the ninja.
"Not in public, you nasty bastard."
"Uh…whatever. Did you find Tsunade?"
"No…I didn't…" Naruto rubbed the back of his neck.
"Yes you did!"
"SAYZ THE PERVERT! WHY DON'T YOU GO HANG OUT WITH THAT LOSER PERV, JIRASSYA!"
"I'm not sorry I like to masturbate…"
"IN PUBLIC!" Naruto glared at the Hyuuga, who had started jerking off again. "HEY! STOP! PEOPLE ARE WATCHING!"
"NEJI!" It was none other than said teen's uncle Hiashi. "YOU DISGRACE! YOU! BOY!"
"What?" the blonde turned to the man. "Oh! Hey Mr. Neji the first! What's…KAFARTSHI FARTED SO…"
"NO MANNERS YOU HAVE!" yelled the Hyuuga. "OUT OF MY SITE YOU MUST GO!"
"Yoda you sound like." laughed the blonde ninja.
"DISHONOR YOU BRING! DICK YOU ARE! NEJI! GO WE MUST! PUNISHED YOU ARE TO BE!" However the ninja didn't listen or go with his uncle. He was too busy moaning in ecstasy.
"Dang it, Neji! You're embarrassing us with your tiny dick!" Konohamaru yelled at the ninja. "Oh hey, Naru…"
"KAFARTSHI ALMOST KILLED ME WITH HIS DEADLY FARTS! AAAGH!" Naruto yelled at the younger male. "Hey to you too, by the way."
"What? Kakashi almost killed you? WITH HIS FARTS?! I WANNA SEE!"
"I knew you wouldn't care! Nobody…wait, you care?"
"Heck yeah I care! I wanna see! It sounds so cool!"
"Wow…uh…well I don't know where he is, so…"
"Oh yeah…fuck…yeah fuck his slutty ass! Yeah, that's right blonde. Slap Kakashi with that strapon!"
"WHAT?!" the two ninjas looked at the other while Yoda…uh Neji's uncle…was screeching at his nephew about dishonor and a waste of sperm (and he wasn't talking about Neji).
"What are we waiting for? Let's go!" before the 3rd Hokage's grandson could go in, the blonde stopped him.
"We can't! There's no telling what they're doing up there!"
"But…but…they could have titties in there."
"I don't…titties?"
"If Neji's jerking off he must be jerking off to some kinky stuff in there. "
"But…"
"They've gotta be having a sexy orgy in there or something!"
"You're right! Let's go!"
Together the two went inside and were about to have a surprise of a lifetime.
"Faster! FASTER!" Kakashi encouraged the beneath ninja him.
"Shut up! I'm trying!" Deidara frowned.
"That strap on your using is stupid and not long enough. Take it off. I'm better off fucking you myself."
"W-WHAT?!" he growled. "THAT'S IT! I'VE HAD IT UP TO HERE WITH YOUR BULL…"
"You sound like a man…Tobi come fuck Deidara. I wanna ride Gai now."
"NO!" Tobi was pulled off by Kakashi and said ninja started making out with Gai. "You had your turn!"
"Go fuck Deidara. Gai's mine."
"You're an asshole! I deserve him more!" Deidara pulled the ninja by his hair off of his lover.
"Like hell you do! I need him! I've known him way before you have, skank!"
"Tobi thinks Deidara and Kakashi are both buttholes and Tobi deserves Gai more!"
"GAI LOVES ME MORE!"
"NO ME!"
"NO ME!"
"Guys! Guys! What happened to sharing?" Gai was getting nervous. This was going to end badly if he didn't do something and fast.
"I don't feel like sharing! You were mine first!" Deidara suddenly pulled out his clay pouch. "It's time I blow these fuckers outta here!"
"Oh, so that's how the bitch wants to play it, huh? Sharingan!"
"Uh...Tobi's just gonna stay out of it for a bit." The masked ninja hid under the bed as the two ninjas glared at each other. Shit was about to go down and he didn't want to be in the middle of it.
"Prepare to get blown the fuck up, freak!" Deidara threw a clay bomb at the ninja while Kakashi used his sharingan.
"Okay, I think this is the bed room. Prepare to smell the worst thing you've ever smelled in your life!" Naruto slowly opened the door only for the two ninjas to get blown out of the window in the hallway where they were standing.
"HAHAHAHA! GOTCHA BITCH!" laughed the bomber.
"YOU WISH!" Kakashi laughed evilly. "I tricked you with my sharingan, motherfucker!"
"Then who did I…" Deidara looked around in the bedroom only to find Tobi and Gai missing. "Gai? Gai? Oh shit, see what you did?!"
"I'm right here." The ninja raised his hand and waved.
"'Oh there you are."
"Where's Tobi then?"
"Who cares?" Deidara leaped into his lover's arms.
"The bed's not here, so he's probably gone."
'Uh oh…shit! Oh super crap! I gotta shit!" Kakashi tried to slip out of the bedroom to do his business.
"HEY! I'M NOT DONE WITH YOU YET!" yelled the blonde ninja.
"Uh…not now! I gotta…" Suddenly Kakashi let out the loudest, fart in the history of farts. It was so strong that not only did Gai's house fall in, but several of the houses beside said ninja's house MELTED! That's how bad it was!
"HOLY SHIT!" Naruto gasped in horror as the houses continued to melt.
"Wow! That was…AWESOME! DID YOU SEE THAT?"
"What? OF COURSE I DID! DAMN!"
"I didn't even know houses could melt!"
"Me either!" Naruto got up and jumped out of the tree the two landed in with the younger ninja behind him.
"This is awesome! We've gotta spread the news!"
"Me and Neji were already doing that before you showed up, but now we'll be able to spread the news even faster! TO THE REST OF THE VILLAGE!"
"What about Jack-off McGee?" asked Konohamaru.
"Oh yeah. NEJI! NEJI! YO NEJI! Damn it! We have to find him."
"Why?"
"'cuz he's the genius of the group! Without him, we would have never found the hokage…and it was kinda my fault I didn't tell her…but never mind that! Let's find Neji!"
MEANWHILE
"And then I said, 'That bitch ain't got nothin' on me!' Hahahahaha!" Ino let out an obnoxious laugh while Sakura and Tenten groaned.
"Can we go inside the movies now, Ino?" Tenten groaned. "You're story is…uh…VERY, but I'd rather go see the movie we've been wanting to see for a month now."
"Same here." said Sakura yawning. "If they run out of tickets before we get inside, I'm going to hate you forever."
"Whatever. Fine, let's go. I can always tell you two during the previews." Ino sighed and walked into the theater.
"You know something, Sakura? Ino's a bit…a bit…" Tenten didn't know what to say about the kunoichi.
"Snobbish? Self-absorbed?"
"Yeah, but we're stuck with her until after the movie's over, so let's g…"
"AAAAAAAGH! KAKASHI ALMOST KILLED ME WITH HIS NASTY FARTS!"
"AND HE BLEW US OUTTA A WINDOW TOO! THAT GUY'S BUTT IS DANGEROUS!"
"Oh crap…" moaned Sakura.
"Who's that making all of that fuss?" Tenten asked turning around.
"DON'T TURN AROUND!" She pushed the brunette towards the theater entrance and then whispered, "It's Naruto and he's on a 'crazy' rampage again!"
"Really? I've always wanted to see that." Tenten ran over to the blonde ninja.
"Where's she go…oh shit. Is that Naruto?" Ino started laughing. "I've gotta see that."
"Wait guys! What about the...oh fuck…" sighing the ninja followed her friends.
"I'M TELLING YOU, MISTER! KAFARTSHI ALMOST KILLED US! EXPLAIN KONOHAMARU!"
"HE BLEW US OUT OF A FREAKIN' HOUSE INTO A TREE WHERE WE COULD HAVE BEEN IMPELLED BY THE BRANCHES! ALSO, HE MELTED SEVEN HOUSES BESIDE GAI'S HOUSE AND HE ALSO MADE GAI'S HOUSE FALL IN! HE'S A DANGER TO US ALL!"
"What's he yelling about?" Sakura asked her friends as she walked over to them.
"Something about Kakashi being dangerous." said Tenten.
"That's one dumb son of a bitch." laughed Ino.
"NARUTO! PUT THAT MAN DOWN AND GET OVER HERE, NOW!" Sakura demanded.
"Sakura!" Naruto ran over to his friend. "We have to spread the…"
"YOU IDIOT!" Sakura punched the blonde's head. "HOW DARE YOU DO SOMETHING LIKE THAT?!"
"Sakura, he has a reason to actually be crazy this time!" The younger ninja said sticking up for the blonde.
"Oh no…not you too!" The pink haired ninja groaned.
"Naruto! Look! It's Tsunade!" sure enough it was the hokage herself. "Let's go tell her! He's a threat to the village!"
"Right! But…what about Neji?"
"Forget him! We have to tell Tsunade! Let's go!"
"Right!" he ran off with the ninja to the hokage.
MEANWHILE
"D-damn it…where am I?" Neji rubbed his head as he pulled up his pants.
"I-I don't know…" Neji turned towards the ninja and glared at him.
"Who are you?"
"Uh…Tobi. Are you part of the Hyuuga clan?"
"I guess. How do you know?"
"Your eyes…"
"Hmph." Neji didn't trust the fool.
"What?"
"Your voice…it's really stupid."
"Well…your voice is…uh…"
"Manly, I know."
"Hm…you're kinda cute."
"And you're a pedophile!" Neji got into a fighting stance. "Back off you asshole! I know…"
"…Hyuuga clan stuff. Come on, don't fight me. I'm a little tired now."
"YEAH! FROM FUCKING MY SENSEI, YOU BEAN CREEPER! AND THEN YOU HAD THE FUCKING NERVE TO COME DOWN ON MY HEAD WITH A DAMN BED?! TRIGRAM 64 PALM!"
