I hate not being able to reply to people without an account. But any who. I'll just respond here. The kid's and Eli wont be miserable about the baby forever, I promise. And, in case no one knew this.. Degrassi still isn't mine.
Julia's POV
I opened my eyes, and looking round I realized I was in a hospital bed. It was all coming back to me, how I ended up here. The constant head ache I had been having the last few weeks started creeping up on me really fast. This time my head ache was different, It was unbearable. I was burying my head in my pillow trying not to cry, when my phone went off. I had a text from Blake.
Blake: I miss u. Hope your dad wasn't too mad.
Me: He's very upset, Blake. I don't think we can hang out anymore.
Blake: Why? What's Going on J Goldsworthy, spit it out.
Me: That is exactly what's going on I'm a Goldsworthy, you're a Torres. Apparently there's some bad blood between our families, and my dad refuses to let me be near you...
Blake: I already know about our parents history, my dad told me about it the firs day we met. I went home and I told him I found the perfect girl, he explained to me why your dad wouldn't approve. It's a funny story.
Me: Oh. My dad didn't give me details. I guess this is it then?
Blake: Didn't you hear me? I've known about this, and I don't care. I want to be with you. It's kind of hot anyways, it's like I'm Romeo. And you, you're my Juliet.
Me: I don't feel to great tonight, I cant think very clear I'll have to talk to you about this tomorrow.
The last thing I wanted to do was end that conversation, especially like that, but I couldn't take the pain anymore it was becoming unbearable. I tossed my phone aside, and I walked to my bathroom to take a shower. When I looked in my bathroom mirror there was blood starting to trickle out of my nose. I never got nose bleeds. The blood wouldn't stop coming out, so I went to grab a towel. Before I could grab the towel hanging over my shower rod I stumbled, almost hitting my head on the sink corner. I'd always heard people say they see stars when they get dizzy but I thought it was just a saying, until that moment. There were little stars dancing around my head, and everything around me was fuzzy. I laid on the bathroom floor curled up in a ball trying not scream at the pain. I felt like my body was shutting down on me. I willed myself to get up and I ran down stairs, to find my parents. They were arguing, oblivious to my presence. I couldn't even speak, and it was making me so upset I started crying. To my relief my dad noticed me standing in the door way, when he saw me he turned white as a ghost. That was the last thing I remembered, seeing my dad, and knowing he'd fix it.
Alex was sleeping on the hospital couch, with head phones is his ears. My mom and dad were no where to be seen. There was dresser beside the bed and my phone sat on it. I grabbed it and there 36 messages from my friends, 10 of those from Blake.
Blake: Julia we need to talk about this now.
Blake: Hello? Are you ok?
Blake: The ambulance just passed my house, going towards yours. Are you good?
Blake: Ok you're pissing me off a little.. I really just wanna know that ur good J..
Blake: I'm stopping by your house, (Insert serious face)
Blake: I just got a text from that Hollingsworth kid your in the play with, he lives across from you. Anyways, he's my friend so he let me know the ambulance is at your house. My dad's freaking, he thinks your mom is in trouble. If there's anything I can do let me know.
Blake: Ok your lack of responses has me worried really bad :(
Blake: I'm almost to your house, Please answer me. Be ok..
Blake: No one's at your house anymore wtf do I do.
Blake: You're beautiful when you sleep
When I read the last message the door opened, and it was him.
"Hey, sunshine. I took the liberty of brining you a tea, and every breakfast taco known to man. How are you feeling?"
"Confused, What's wrong with me? Why did you come here, Blake? I don't want you to see me like this." He set the tacos down, and he sat beside me on the bed. He cracked a little smile and grabbed my hand. His face was full of concern, and worry.
"I wouldn't want to be anywhere else than right here with you."
"You didn't answer my other question."
"Because I don't know the answer. Your parents are talking with the doctors right now, they haven't paid much attention to me. I was waiting for your dad to kill me when I first got here, but he barley gave me a glance. He's been sitting here holding your hand all night. Your mom's been crying a lot, and your brother too. I slept in that chair last night, waiting for you to wake up. I'm happy to see you're feeling better."
"I probably haven't been eating enough, and before you saying anything I know that's dumb. I just haven't had a big appitite lately. I'll eat a banana and then I can ditch this hell hole." Even I didn't believe what I was saying. Blake brought me into a hug and he ran his hand through my hair. It felt good to relax into his arms, for a second I forgot I was in a hospital. My worries evaporated. I felt his body tense and he pulled away, the expression on his face was one of sadness.
"Julia, did you get bit by something?"
"No, what are you talking about?"
"There's a lump on the back of your head."
My heart stopped. "I probably just hit it on something it's nothing."
The door opened and my mom and dad came in, with the doctor following. Blake stood up and walked to the corner of the room. My mom ran to me and hugged me, she was crying. The doctor started flipping through a clip board, and when he stopped on his designated page he began to speak.
"Ms. Goldsworthy, I'm Doctor Ferriot. I'll be taking care of you for the remainder of your stay here."
"My stay?" I looked to my dad, with panic in my eyes. He just looked at the floor.
"You have a rare cancer called Rhabdomyosarcoma. Usually those who get Rhabdomyosarcoma, have a family history of it. We're going to need you to stay here during the Chemotherapy you are going to need. This disease can be over come, we have a support group down the hall from you room." His tone was monotone, and his expression neutral.
"No, that's not possible. There must be a mistake."
"I'm sorry Ms. Goldsworthy your blood test's confirm it. I'll give you some time to digest this news with your family, but I'd like to start the treatment as soon as possible. The cancer is aggressive."
He left the room, and I started to scream. I just kept yelling no, over and over again. My mom was holding me, but her words wouldn't calm me. I felt like the entire world as I knew it was over. The hospital room felt like it was closing in on me, and if I didn't get out it was going to squeeze me to death. My screams woke up Alex, and he rushed to my other side trying to console me as well. Nothing made it better, because nothing took the cancer away.
"Mom why, why me! I've never done a thing wrong in my life! I get good grades, I keep to myself. You speak of this god, this holy man. What is holy about giving a 15 year old cancer, is it some kind of joke? Is it a punishment of some sort! Your God isn't real, and if he is he can go screw himself!"
"Baby no, you have Rhabdomyosarcoma because of me. Do not blame God, blame me. You have cancer because of your genetics, I gave this to you. I am so sorry. I never thought in a million years that this would happen Julia, I should have had you getting check up's annually. I just never let this cross my mind. I love you, and I am going to be here every single step of the way. I wont let anything happen to you, you're so much stronger than I ever was. You're a Goldsworthy, that's how I know you'll get through this." She kept stroking back my hair, but I just wanted to be left alone. To wallow in my self pity. The more she kept touching me the more I felt like I was going to explode. I slapped my mom's hand away, immediately after I did it I felt guilty. It was a reaction, and I didn't mean to do it. Her eyes widened and she backed away from me. I didn't apologize, I didn't have the energy to say anything anymore. She ran out of the room, without saying a word. Alex Gave me an ugly stare, and followed after her. It was just me, my dad, and Blake. My dad finally moved from the foot of the bed and he sat beside me laying his head on my chest.
"Julia, Don't do that. Don't shut your mother out. She more than anyone knows what you're going through. This sucks so bad, I know. I watched your mom fight this day in and day out, and it's hard. You have to be strong, because I can't lose you Julia. I can not live in world without you." He was sobbing so much my hospital gown was becoming soaked in tears. "Baby don't leave me", he pleaded. Here I was the one with cancer, and he was the one crying on me asking for promises I didn't know I could make. I knew my dad was going to fall apart through this, I had to pull myself together for him. He needed me to make it better.
"I'm gonna be fine dad, don't worry I wont be going anywhere anytime soon." I started rubbing his head, and I felt him relax. After a few minutes of that I urged him to go find mom. "You go tell mom I didn't mean it ok", I smiled. "I love you both, everything's going to be fine."
"I'll be right back blue eyes." He kissed me on the forehead, and headed for the door. He paused for a second, and then turned around, eyes on Blake.
"You. Torres. The only reason I haven't kicked your ass out of this room is because I know how important it was for me to be there for Clare when she was sick. The fact that you're here say's a lot. I know she wants you here right now, but I'm still not ok with this relationship being anything more than a friendship. My son has warned me of your way's Torres. Not that I needed him to tell me, you and your dad are one in the same. You convince yourself you love someone for a while, and then it's on to the next. My daughter wont be just another stop a long the way." My dad's stare was menacing, it was a warning not to do anything to hurt me. It felt good that he was still treating me like his teenage daughter, and protecting me from boys. Rather than just treating me like a sick girl. He smiled at me and closed the door. My mind started to wonder what Alex had heard. Blake immidiatley rushed to my side grabbing my hand and kissing each knuckle. I felt a tear roll down my cheek, he wiped it away with his thumb.
"Don't cry Julia, You're going to be ok. I'm going to be holding your hand, through every single moment of this. Your dad has the wrong idea about me, I'm not Drew Torres. I'm Blake Torres, and there's no next girl for me. There's only you."
"What about tomorrow? When I'm sick and throwing up, will you still want me then. When my hair falls out.."
"Yes, just as much as I do now. Just as much as I did the moment I first saw you 1st period sitting there at your desk with your head down. When you finally looked around the room and reveled those blue eye's, I knew I had to know you. I had to know what made you, you..what made those eye's sparkle. Weather your hair is on your head or not, you'll still be you. I'll always look in your eyes, and see you." He kissed my forehead, and for a second I wasn't sick.
Clare's POV
I found out I was pregnant today, and instead of celebrating I was in my car sitting in the parking lot of the hospital, because my daughter has cancer. The cancer I had, the cancer I gave her. She hated me, and I hated myself. My head was laying on the steering wheel when I heard the door open, It was Eli. He got in and closed the door, staring at me with that intense glare of his.
"Clare, are you ok?"
"No, I want to die. And don't tell me not to say that, because I know you feel the same way. Julia having... I cant even say it. Her having this thing, hurts me so much more than when I was diagnosed. I can't lose her, I can't Eli I swear to God if she dies I will die with her." My hands were shaking, Eli grabbed them.
"I wont tell you what to say or how to feel, because you're right. I feel the same way, but Clare no matter what happens we can't fall apart. We just cant. No matter how much we want to crawl in a hole we cant because we have Alex, and this new baby to think about."
"This baby? This baby is coming at the wrong time, I need to be focusing on our daughter. You were right, I could never love anyone the way I love those two kid's. This baby is a mistake."
"This baby is our daughter or son too, all our kids are a priority. You need to take care of yourself, stop saying things like that. Julia has cancer Clare, but she's still her, just like that baby is still the same thing that brought you so much joy yesterday." I nodded my head in agreement, ashamed that I talked about my baby like that. "Julia told me to tell you she didn't mean it", Eli exclaimed.
"Really?"
"Yes, she loves you Clare. No one blames you for this. You need to know that, it's not your fault you got cancer, and it's not your fault Julia got cancer. I want you to hold on to any joy you can, blue eyes. This baby is a happy and good thing, we need this little peanut right now. All of us. We will get through this as a family, I promise you Julia will be ok." He smiled, and kissed me on the cheek.
"You're right Eli, nothing's going to happen to Julia."
AN: I love to do whatever it is can to please the reader, but to make the story be what I need it be I have to do some things that might be upsetting at first. I just think it's fair to warn you all, things will get bad before they get better. & Remember in the end the story is really about Eli, and Clare. xoxo ImagineRie
