It had to happen this way, the day had started off fairly good so it only made sense for the bad to catch up to him. After he'd left home, and the growing collection of early risers taking up residence on the Mallard's front lawn, he'd been running through his plan in his head. He had requested a briefing room for his meeting in a few hours and he knew the floor plan well enough to know exactly where it was. He could calculate how long it would take him to get to the restricted wing to get his files then set up the room for his presentation. He had a projector on hold, a disc with charts and his plan of action on it, he even had documents to print out and distribute to the team. He'd sent them to the print center of the building and all he had to do was pick them up. He was nervous, that was a given, but he was anxious to start. He couldn't wait until he knew Gosalyn was being looked after. It was finally time to get the ball rolling and he'd get to work with hours to make sure he was prepared. Or so he'd planned.

Somehow he managed to hit every red light, turn onto streets with bumper to bumper traffic and even had the luck to sit in one place for forty minutes while a nasty accident was slowly cleared. He kneaded the steering wheel furiously, feeling his stomach tighten with each minute that slipped through his fingers. By the time the SHUSH building came into view he fought the urge to leap out of the car and kiss the pavement. He had a half hour. If he rushed he could still be prepared. He showed his badge at the security check point and the gate opened for him to find a parking spot. He felt the color drain from his face as the cars packed in between the painted lines surrounded him on all sides. He drove through aisle after aisle, his frenzy building, until he saw one. He sped up feeling the weight lifting only to have it thrown back at him as a sleek Mercedes flew past him and screeched into the spot. A well groomed fox hopped out of his car and grinned at him with a salute before he ambled toward the building. Honker glared after him, he looked familiar, but he couldn't put his finger on why. After a few more desperate minutes he found a parking space, grabbed his briefcase and ran toward the building. He tore up the steps bumping into a shapely hare who shouted her outrage after him as he hastily apologized over his shoulder. His perfectly shined shoes echoed off the walls as he made his mad dash toward the archives. He managed to retrieve his personnel files with out any delay and he glanced at his watch. Fifteen minutes. As he reentered the main section of the building he desperately tried to cram the files into his briefcase for save keeping. Naturally they didn't want to cooperate. Resigning to leaving them messy he made his way to the print center. It was packed. Angry agents were smashed in growling and complaining loudly.

"What's going on?" He asked an agent in front of him.

"Something's wrong with the printers, they haven't been able to get them to print since last night." Snarled the agent, more at the situation than him.

Honker swallowed meekly, okay. Okay, he told himself. Those weren't important. He didn't need them. He turned and felt a foot trod heavily on his. He grit his teeth as the muddy foot was removed quickly without an apology. He took a steadying breath, his shoes no longer shining, and forced his way back out of the room. Seven Minutes. He trotted through the halls toward the room. As he came to it his hand shot to the knob. It refused to budge. He turned his eyes to the door; the paper tacked to the door finally caught his attention.

"Crime Scene. All scheduled briefings have been transferred to 1S142."

He stared at it then looked at the number beside this door. 1N287. That was at the complete opposite side of the building. He had to fight his urge to faint as he started to run again. This couldn't be happening. It had to be a nightmare… it was almost as bad as the one he had as a kid about how he'd forgotten a power in his Calculus equation. By the time he reached the halfway point of the building he was gasping for breath. He had to press on, he was almost there, he could make it. He glanced at his watch: two minutes. He swallowed hard and sprinted as best he could. He was jostled by moving bodies, his sleeve caught on door knob and he tripped on his suddenly untied shoelace. He crashed to the floor his briefcase sliding away from him and he managed to hold his glasses in place.

"Oh wow!" Came a surprised gentle voice. "Are you okay?" He found a small brown furred hand being offered to him and quickly took it. It belonged to a plump lady mouse. Her eyes were small and kind and her hair was pulled back messily. He dusted himself off as he stood next to her, he towered over her.

"I'm fine, thanks!" He said hurriedly as he scrambled to get his briefcase before it got kicked by the oblivious passerby. He was sure he was an absolute wreck, but he was almost there… 1S136… 1S138… 1S140. The door to 142 was open and he paused for a moment to catch his breath before he entered. The room was huge. More like a lecture hall then a briefing room. His eyes immediately fell to where the overhead projector was supposed to be… it wasn't there.

"Hey," Barked a rough voice. Honker looked into the face of an enormous Panda bear. "Orientation is down the hall."

He blinked.

"Oh, no I'm not a…"

"You? What are you doing here!" The pretty hare he'd collided with scowled at him as she crossed her muscular looking arms. He could see her arms because she was only wearing the uniform SHUSH pants, instead of a suit jacket and shirt she wore a tight white tank top that clung to her attractively.

"I'm…" He started only to be interrupted again.

"That guy I cut off in the parking lot!" Laughed a charming voice and the fox from earlier shifted into view from behind the panda. "Sorry about that pallie, but ya know, ya snooze ya lose."

"Hey Sam! Long time no see, how come you don't answer your phone anymore?" A handsome raccoon pushed passed Honker like wasn't even there. Honk watched the hare redirect her scowl to the strutting ringtail.

"I do answer it, just not when you call."

"Oh, hello again." A small hand patted his elbow and he looked at the chubby mouse who smiled at him.

"Vicky, tell this trash to stay away from me." The hare commanded, and the mouse smiled at her.

"Oh hi! Well this is going to be fun, everyone's in on this one huh? Just like the good old days."

Honker felt like he'd missed something. A pair of foot steps came up from behind him and he was tapped on the shoulder.

"Hey kid, I think you need to be down the hall." Said a sympathetic looking goat he glanced at the lizard standing next to him. "Deluca why don't you show him where orientation is being held? I got lost on my first day too… " He slapped him on the shoulder. "… don't let it get to ya."

"N-no I'm not…"

"Travis you old butt head, shaved that old billy goat beard I see!" Laughed the raccoon and the goat smirked at him.

"I thought it looked nice on you." The mouse named Vicky said pleasantly.

"U-uh…" Honker tried to interject but was ignored.

"So what's going on here? Where's this Muddlefoot guy?" The fox said loudly. "Any of you heard of this guy?"

"That's…" Honker tried again.

"Nah. But if he's not here yet we're probably going to be in for some laughs." The raccoon plopped himself down in one of the chairs. "You guys remember that one old agent we worked with who s-s-tuddered all the time when w-w-e were t-t-t-trying to p-p-p-protect the s-s-s-enator?"

There was a laugh.

"Marcus, that's mean." Vicky said through her light giggle.

"E-excuse me?" Honker winced at his stammer. But no one noticed him. The goat and lizard had moved to socialize with the rest of the group.

This was not what he had expected. They all knew each other… had worked together quite a bit apparently. They were all older than he was, and were rather uninterested in him altogether. He felt his spirit sink. Everything was wrong. He couldn't do this. No one would follow him. The agents laughed again and he felt another tap on his shoulder. He sighed.

"I'm not supposed to be at orientation." He said sadly.

"Uh, I know."

He felt his stomach contract and he turned quickly to see Eva raise her eyebrow at him curiously. He was so happy to see her he could have thrown his arms around her.

"Eva! What are you doing here?" He asked flustered with relief.

She smiled and held up a file.

"I gave the director a piece or my mind as promised." She winked. "He assigned me to this operation this morning." She looked him up and down. "What happened to you? You look like you had to crawl through the trenches to get here."

"It's been a rough morning."

She glanced at the agents.

"I can see that." She put the file in his hand.

"They won't listen to me… I've been trying to tell them I'm the agent in charge… but I can't get two words in edgewise."

"I've got an idea." She patted his shoulder comfortingly. "At least you look the part… you're the bad cop, so just play along." She took a step away from him and made her frame rigid and straight as she saluted him. She shouted over the noise. "Agent Eva Shields reporting for duty sir!"

He stared at her numbly as a hush fell over the room for the first time since he'd entered. He felt their eyes on him, Eva stared at him intently… he was reminded of his games with Milly. He folded his arms.

"Late aren't we Shields?" He said sternly.

"I apologize sir, I had trouble finding the room." She sounded nervous, she was a good actress.

"I won't tolerate tardiness. If you repeat this travesty in the field you could get someone killed."

"It won't happen again, sir."

"Eva…?" The fox blinked at her, then at him. "This is Agent Muddlefoot?"

"Are you kidding?" She gaped at him. "You've never heard of Agent 'Slick' Muddlefoot?"

He wanted to send her an aggravated glance at the stupid nickname, but he'd blow the act… and it was working. Every pair of eyes were on him in confusion. He tried to make himself look… slick. Whatever that meant. He settled for "bad cop" tough, that's what she'd told him anyway.

"I can't believe this… where have you guys been?" She frowned at them.

"They've been here, most were on time and I don't think I gave you permission to speak freely Shields." Honker snapped firmly, the agents blinked at him and she almost smiled. "I want a word with you outside agent." He tossed her file on top of the podium carelessly and strode out of the room, she followed him apprehensively. As soon as she'd passed the door he closed it and she grinned at him. "What the hell are you thinking?"

"What? That was great!" She laughed.

"Shh!" He tugged her away from the door lightly. "You can't expect me to play pretend with these people, I can't be the bad cop I'm just a nerd, they'll see right through me."

"Not if we work together." She smirked at his hopeless expression. "Slick, listen, I told you yesterday, you can't let them walk all over you, and that was exactly what was happening back there. I'll work with you, but you were great in there. Keep that up and no one will even think about messing with you." She punched his arm lightly.

"I can't do this…" He shook his head.

"Sure you can, would you rather go back in there as Honker? Have them laugh at you and run the risk of them not following your orders, or go in there as the hard ass Slick and get the job done? I'll be sure to make up a few back stories to keep them on their toes."

Honker frowned in thought. In his field test, he'd known what was coming… they talked over him, ignored him like he'd just been treated now, as a result his squad had fallen into the trap. This wasn't a group of cadets in the woods with paintball guns, this was real. Gosalyn and Taurus Bulba… if he detected another trap he needed to know they'd listen. He sighed and looked at her wearily.

"Don't lay the dramatics on too thick…"

She smiled.

"Don't worry, I'll only tell them you took on forty Eggmen instead of three hundred." She smiled. "Hang out here for a minute, I'll make sure they're ready for you… you get into character." She patted his cheek lightly before she moved toward the door. She put on a distraught, almost on the verge of tears look before she carefully opened the door and entered the room.

He inhaled deeply as the door clicked back shut. So, he had to lie, had to act like someone he wasn't in order to do the right thing? He ran his hands nervously through his hair feathers. His mind brought up all the movies Gosalyn had forced him to watch where the bad cop was the lowest of the low. Guys like that always turned out to be the real villain. How did he let Eva talk him into this? Because, he thought firmly, it's the only way. He closed his eyes and took a deep breath. He set a stern look on his features and opened the door.

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Darkwing Duck and all related characters are (c) Disney

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Poor Honker, I've been having one of those days myself. So what do ya'll think? Honker Muddlefoot "bad cop" extrodinare? XD Well, ya gotta do what you've gotta do.

Thanks for reading!