Chapter 7: Trust

Rowan's Point of View

I sat with Jax while he tried to make sense of the packet of papers he'd found while searching through the boxes in the storage unit until he got a call saying he was needed back at Teller-Morrow. Jax had no idea what the manuscript was or what it meant, other than that his dead father had wrote it and left it behind for someone to find and make sense of. I could already tell this was something that was important to Jax, and how attached he already was too it by the way he immediately became engrossed in it.

I mean a huge piece of his father has just been dropped into his lap. I guess I know what he might be feeling right about now. I wanted to ask so many questions about what little bit he'd let me read over his shoulder, but it just didn't seem like the right time. I've realized there's a lot of stuff going on around here and in my own life that I don't fully understand. Maybe Jax was right, I should just suck it up and put on my big girl pants and face the truth head on and talk to Deacon and my mother. The thought of that makes me seriously want a joint. I'd rather live in denial for a bit longer, it's safer here.

Thankfully, Gemma's car wasn't on the lot when we got back which meant I wouldn't have to deal with her giving me a lecture for running off with Jax for two hours. I sat with Jax in his truck while it idled in the parking lot. He had his hand tightly gripping the steering wheel and the yellow envelope resting in his lap. "Are you okay, Jax?" I asked after he finally shut off the car. The keys dangled in the ignition.

"Yeah, I'm fine." Jax breathed out, pinching the bridge of his nose, lost in deep thought. Someone banged on the hood of the truck, causing me to jump slightly. "Let's go, Jackie boy, we got church." Chibbs hollered gesturing towards the MC building. Jax nodded his head and waved Chibbs off. I watched as he sauntered back inside the building. Church?

"I need you to do me a favor." Jax said urgently, touching my arm. I glanced down at his hand on my arm then let my eyes snap up to his blue ones. Damn, I could get lost in those eyes. This is the third time today we've had physical contact with each other, not that I'm counting or anything...

"Sure, what do you need?" I whispered innocently, studying his face, his expression was unreadable.

"I need you to hang on to this for me. Don't tell anyone we found it either. I want to know what the hell it is before I show it to anyone. I really need this to stay between us, please. Just for a little bit, until I can find a better place to keep it." Jax insisted sternly, still cradling my arm in his hand. He looked directly at me, almost as if he could see right through me.

"Jax, I won't tell anyone. You can trust me." I assured him as he handed me the package of papers. I held the package of papers tightly against my chest to hide the writing.

"For some reason I do trust you, I don't know why, but I do." Jax said finally letting go of my arm.

"I'll hide it in my car until I can take it home. No one will know I have it, I promise." I reassured him. Jax nodded his head and got out of the truck, so I did the same. The afternoon sun beat shined bright in the Northern California sky as the wind blew lightly rattling the few maple trees that lined the property between Teller-Morrow and the business next to it. Jax met me at the back of his truck and lit a cigarette.

"I'll catch up with you later, thank you." Jax whispered, leaning in and kissing me on the cheek. My heart felt like it literally stopped beating for the instant his lips brushed against my cheek. The smell of smoke, car grease and leather filled my nose as I breathed his scent in. Now that was a combination of smells I never thought I would enjoy.

"I'm sorry for having a mental breakdown on you earlier. I'm just in way over my head with all of this Deacon shit." I laughed out as he pulled away, trying to detract attention away from the heat rising to my cheeks. Jax chuckled and lowered his head glancing at me.

"Don't worry about it. I might not be the easiest person to talk too, but if you wanna talk about Deacon or anything really, I'm around." Jax told me, making me feel better about crying in front of him earlier. This has been an insane twenty four hours, that was for damn sure.

"Thank you..." I mouthed as he slowly backed away winking at me. Jax turned on his heel and headed for the clubhouse. It felt like my life has been flipped and turned sideways or like a world globe that's been spun, and now I'm waiting to see where it stops.


After placing Jax's father's manuscript in my car underneath a bunch of clothes inside an old gym bag I relieved Half-Sac of office duty and took a seat behind the desk, reaching over and firing up the computer. I wanted to know more about the Sons of Anarchy and all of its members, mainly just one in particular. Not really knowing where to start or what I might find, I decided to bring up Google and search Deacon's name. Shit, what the hell is his last name? My eyes darted around the office searching for anything that might have his last name on it. I skimmed over all the business cards hanging on the wall beside the desk and got nothing but the number for Pete's Pizza Place and Snap-On tools.

I spun around in the tattered desk chair letting my eyes land on the file cabinets lining the wall behind me. Deacon had given me a clipboard the other day with an invoice on it; all the invoices were signed by the employees. I jumped up out of the chair quickly and opened the file cabinet, kicking it when it stuck like Gemma had done. I rifled through the files until I found one with Deacons name written on it. Deacon Willhite. Huh, that's a unique last name I thought putting the file back carefully and returning to the desk. The phone rang and I answered it and took down a message for a parts estimate, then returned to Google.

I carefully typed Deacon Willhite into the search bar and held my breath as I hit search. My foot tapped anxiously as I scrolled through miscellaneous links that led nowhere, then I found one that read, Charming Police Department; Deacon Willhite. Immediately I clicked the link and watched as his mug shot loaded onto the screen. It listed his name, DOB, height, weight, and his arrest record. "Holy shit..." I whispered to myself as the wireless phone rang next to the computer screen. I reached for the phone and scrolled down...Arrests: 2 Breaking & Entering; 1Grand Theft; 4 Aggravated Assaults; what the hell...who is this guy?

The phone continued to ring in my hand as I got lost looking at the screen. "Hello, Teller-Morrow Automotive..." I said answering the phone, my eyes still glued to the screen.

"Yeah, I know sweetheart. This is Gemma, where the hell is Jax? I've been trying to reach him but he won't answer his goddamn phone." Gemma barked into the phone. I glanced out into the garage and saw a few guys working on a bike, but no Jax.

"I don't know he's not in the garage. He must be in the clubhouse." I told her wondering where Deacon had broken into and who he'd beaten up so severely.

"Well get your skinny little ass into the clubhouse and hand him the damn phone, this is an emergency. His crazy junkie whore of an ex-wife Wendy; is on her way to St. Thomas." Gemma growled into the phone, pissed off and in an unpleasant mood.

"Oh my god, is she okay?" I asked worried about his unborn baby. I got up and walked outside, jogging across the lot, dodging cars as they backed out of their parking spaces.

"Who knows stupid bitch probably overdosed on something." Gemma told me as I pushed the large grey metal door to the clubhouse open. As I walked inside I spotted a few girls standing by a fully stocked bar sipping on a few diet beers. I mentally gagged, if I'm drinking beer it's going to be the real shit. They wore skimpy outfits that shoved their breasts up and their asses out.

A tall blonde girl smirked at me and eyed me up and down, as in saying what the hell are you doing in here. I flipped her the middle finger and kept walking, in search of Jax or anyone.

"I don't see Jax anywhere. Just a bunch of girls..." I said looking past them over towards a few empty couches and sofas. A pool table was situated to the left of me. I'd never come in here before. The place had a smoky haze that lingered in the air. I kind of liked it. I noticed two large closed doubled doors and then rows of framed photographs hanging on the wall, they were all mug shots. I scoffed and smirked noticing Jax's at the very top, his hair was much longer. I let met eyes roam over each photo quickly, finding none other than Deacons...

"Tell those croweater whores to go back to the pole. Check the chapel, they're probably in there." Gemma hissed on the other end as I heard the sound of ambulance sirens ringing out rhythmically in the background. It sounded like she was either at St. Thomas or following the ambulance.

"Yeah, I'm not saying that." I snapped back, heading over to two large black leather tweed covered doors. I knocked on the door once and got no response, so I just pushed it open slowly. A group of men stared at me, Jax and Deacon included. They all sat around a long giant Maplewood table smoking, seemingly in a meeting. I felt like a deer in the headlights.

"What the hell are you doing in here?" A large guy sitting at the head of the table snapped out, harshly. He was the one that wore the president patch on his cut. I remember Jax telling me his name was Clay. He had short shaggy peppered hair and sort of reminded me of an ape from planet of the apes, only a little.

"Easy, Clay." Jax shot out looking at me with a softer tone. "What is it, darling?"

"Gemma's been trying to get ahold of you; apparently Wendy is on her way to St. Thomas. You need to get there now. It sounds really bad, Jax." I said looking directly at Jax, avoiding Deacon at all costs.

"Jesus Christ," Jax hissed angrily, quickly getting to his feet.

I handed him the phone as he came out the door followed by Clay, Juice, Deacon, and a few other guys whose odd names I'd already gotten mixed up. Jax hung up the phone and tossed it onto the pool table burying his face in his hands trying to gather his thoughts.

"You're new, who the hell are you." A tall somewhat pretty blonde girl said behind me. I turned halfway and looked at her. She looked like a stripper and probably was one, with her tight leather crop top and daisy duke shorts.

"I saw you with Jax earlier, sweetheart, just so you know he's not exactly into little prim and proper bleached blondes with sticks up there asses." Is this bitch serious right now? I don't even know her and she sure as hell doesn't know me. The blonde walked in front of me while her two girlfriends stood behind me, boxing me in. Was this supposed to be intimidating? I scoffed, they were about as intimidating as the Clown outside of McDonald's.

"Oh sweetheart, I took the stick out a long time ago and I have no problem shoving it straight up your ass. I'm sure you don't have a problem with things being back there anyway." I snapped back at her with a shit eating grin on my face. I've hung around Lena way too much... Jax worked his way between me and the blonde and glared at the other girl.

"Come on, I need you with me." He whispered pulling me back; I felt his hand graze my hip as I continued to walk backwards watching as the croweaters jaw hit the floor. What the hell kind of nick name is that? A croweater?

"I didn't need you to rescue me!" I hissed through gritted teeth following him out of the clubhouse, although it felt like he was half dragging me.

"Darling, I wasn't rescuing you. I was rescuing her. Something tells me you could have probably kicked her ass." Jax grinned, making me roll my eyes at him. I have been known to get a little fired up now and again.

When I was ten I broke this girls nose on the playground at school because she kept running her mouth about Lena and her mom. Lena's mother wasn't always in the right frame of mind. She spent more time with a bottle in her mouth than she ever did when Lena was a baby and it only got worse as the years went on. This girl named Krissy saw Lena's mom drop her off at school one morning wearing a negligee and silk robe and fuzzy house slippers, her hair still in curlers. Krissy started a rumor about how Lena's mother was a drunk and had guys over every night. Even if the facts were true, Krissy had no right to make fun of Lena and her mother so that day during recess I clotheslined her as she came around the slide and punched her in the nose. It was a little hard to talk trash when you needed to keep your mouth open just to breath. Krissy never started a rumor again after that.

"I'm small, but mighty." I joked as I followed Jax and the other guys outside and watched as they all quickly saddled their bikes.

"Looks like we got a real whiskey fireball on our hands, boys." Chibbs said out loud causing all the guys to look at me and nod their heads in admiration. I clenched my jaw shut and turned to look at Jax as I felt an arm drape around my shoulders.

"You know I've been trying to come up with a nickname for you besides blondie and I think I found one," Tig announced as I glanced up at him.

"What's that? Fast little midget, shorty, I've heard them all." I half laughed, everyone made fun of my small size. I was short but I packed a mean punch. Just ask Krissy.

"Little firecracker, eh." Tig said cheerfully. I shoved his arm away from me playfully as he went to get on his bike dragging me along with him. Jax gestured for me to come over to his bike so I did. "What the hell was that back there?" He half laughed, as I rolled my eyes.

"Making friends..." I said sarcastically. He nodded his head and smirked at me putting on his riding gloves. His jaw was set, as the worry began to settle in about his son.

"I hope your son is okay." I said sincerely, as I went to turn to walk away I felt Jax grab my wrist stopping me. I turned and looked at him to see him holding out his helmet for me to take. I looked at him confused, not sure what he was doing.

"I meant what I said, I need you with me." Jax said as the other guys started up their bikes. The rumble of the engines running in sync with one another. Without thinking I took the helmet and put it on, getting on the back of his bike, wrapping my arms around his waist. I have no idea what the hell I am doing anymore…