While he sat at the table in the taco place with the group, his eyes kept wandering back to Kagome—despite him trying his best to focus on the stupid tacos in front of him. The conversation in the car had managed to throw him off his game and send his heart for a loop. She seemed okay with being his soul mate, but as much as he knew that she wanted to talk about it, saying it out loud seemed to solidify something that he felt he had no power over, so he chose to ignore it. She seemed to be perfectly content chatting away with Sango across the table about something frivolous like school or something. Still… he couldn't help the feeling he got knowing that she was close beside him. He had tried to give her space, but somehow, the two of them ended up much closer than they had started out—a fact that almost had Inuyasha blushing. Things seemed to be going well until Inuyasha felt his pocket vibrate.
Practice got out early. Are you going to pick me up? Inuyasha's shoulders stiffened a bit as he read Kikyo's message. He glanced around the group, realizing that they were all having a good time except Koga, who was narrowing his eyes and smirking at him.
"What's wrong, mutt? I smelled that hesitation on you, in trouble with the missus?" Koga teased, his canine teeth showing as he smirked smugly at Inuyasha. The half-demon felt his ears flatten to his head when he saw Kagome turn to look at him out of the corer of his eye. He pretended not to notice.
"No, I just gotta go pick her up from practice. See ya," he waved, getting up from the circular table. Kagome grabbed his arm, trying to get his shock that ran up his spine from Kagome's touch made him halt and shiver. He looked down at her and when he could tell that her face was as flushed as his, he didn't mind as much that she was stopping him.
"My bike is in your trunk. I'll go out with you," she said easily, rising from her spot at the table as well to follow him. It was quiet as they approached the car, but when he opened the trunk, she seemed to sigh heavily.
"So, you're going to stay with Kikyo?" she asked, not looking at him. His heart clenched in his chest and his demon roared in protest.
No. Kikyo is not who we need. We want Kagome. We want our mate.
"A'course. Why wouldn't I?" he answered, doing his best to give her a look like she was an idiot. That seemed to hurt her more than his actual words and she looked down at the ground with a frown. The scent of her frustration was actually kind of pleasant, but not something he wanted to smell for an extended period of time. He pulled out her bike and placed it on the ground, closing the trunk and tossing a glance at her from over his shoulder.
"Look, we know what's going on, but for now, things are going to stay as they were. I'm dating Kikyo. You understand that, don't you?" he asked her, his voice softening. When she looked up at him with intense eyes, he had to fight himself to stand his ground.
"Alright. Can we still be friends?" she asked, offering her hand to him to shake. He stared down at that hand and could hear his two sides fighting. If he said yes, he knew it would almost assuredly seal his fate to end up with her at some point. However… his demon wasn't going to allow him to never see her again. Maybe this would be the solution to his problem? He wouldn't get sick if he was around her enough, which would lower suspicion from the others and he could still have Kikyo. The two options weighed in his head for a moment and though he was so close to saying no…
"Yeah, why not?" he answered, shaking her hand with a lopsided grin. "Pretty sure my mother would kill me if we stopped being friends," he mumbled as he shivered once again at the contact. He felt another vibration in his pocket and knew that though he wished he could stay, he knew he had to leave. With that, he waved her goodbye, and drove off to get Kikyo.
When Kagome finally got home, she smiled as she saw Aunt Tsukimi sat in a rocking chair her father had given her as a birthday present one year. Kagome place her things by the bottom of the stairs and moved over to sit on the chair beside her aunt.
"Hey Aunt Tsukimi. How are things going today?" she asked, giving her aunt a bright smile, though she felt strangely conflicted inside. Her aunt just smiled in return, not saying anything. She could remember the last time she had heard her aunt say anything, but she was told that when Kagome was younger, Aunt Tsukimi had been quite a gifted poet.
"I had a pretty good day at school. I went to this taco place with a group of my new friends and the tacos were pretty great. Do you like tacos?" she asked, rambling a little as she watched her aunt listen. Tsukimi didn't actually respond, but Kagome felt like she was listening nonetheless. "I met a boy the other day, Aunt Tsukimi. His name is Inuyasha and he says I'm his soul mate," she told her, chuckling a little as she did so. When her aunt merely looked at the quilt on her lap with that same content expression, Kagome laughed a little and got up from her seat to go work on making some food for her Aunt to snack on. "It's weird though, because he seems to like me, but he's wanting to be with someone else. It just doesn't make any sense," she told her as she worked in the kitchen, slicing some apples. "But, he said we could stay friends, so I guess I'll just work with that," she shrugged as she brought the plate out and sat it on the coffee table in front of her aunt. Kagome picked up the apple slice and placed it in Aunt Tsukimi's hand, saving her the trouble of having to do any bending or reaching. The woman merely took a bite of the apple slice and continued to stare at the quilt fondly.
After Inuyasha dropped off Kikyo—a silent ride, he would add—he drove home and parked in the driveway, groaning a little to himself as he thought about the day. He hadn't meant to get caught staring so hard at Kagome, but he couldn't help it—it was the stupid bond. Of course, he couldn't just tell Kikyo that. If Kikyo knew that he had found his soul mate, it would be the end for him. Everyone knew how doomed relationships were once the demon met his soul mate. He slammed a hand on his steering wheel in frustration. His entire social life was falling apart, and it was all her fault.
Once he got in the house, he was greeted by his mother who was happily sitting on a loveseat in the living room, reading a book. He smiled when his eyes landed on her and immediately felt himself calm down a little. His mother was always so soft and gentle with him, it seemed to be a crime to be as moody as he had been, in her presence. She looked up from her book and he was met with a fond smile and her patting the space beside her, inviting him to join her. He let his things fall to the ground and he moved to sit beside her, allowing her to give him a quick squeeze.
"How was school, my son?" she asked, placing her book closed in her lap gently. He rubbed the back of his neck, looking down a little.
"Well, I guess it was alright. I went to Taco Tuesday like you told me to—and I sat with my old friends again," he told her, deciding not to bring up the fact that he and Kikyo had been fighting pretty much all morning. She nodded her head and gave him a pat on the shoulder.
"Good. How did it go?"
His ears flattened a little as he remembered the violent was Koga had greeted him, and he felt his shoulders slump a little.
"Oh, that bad, huh?" he heard his mom say, moving her hand to his and giving it a firm squeeze. "Give it some time, son. They are probably just bitter still from how long you've been away from their group," she reasoned, smiling at him in reassurance. Inuyasha looked up at her for a moment before growling quietly in frustration.
"I didn't even do anything to deserve all the crap they were giving me. All I did was get a girlfriend and they act like I've committed the biggest betrayal," he vented, waving his hand around a little to accentuate his point. His mother nodded in understanding.
"While it's true that maybe they are over-reacting, I think it's possible that you aren't considering how they are feeling. You were important to them and when you met Kikyo, she was the only thing important to you," she pointed out, looking at him tenderly. He pulled away a little bit, offended.
"What? I did not act like she was the only thing important to me. I just had to readjust my priorities," he corrected her, pointing a clawed finger. She sighed a little.
"Maybe not, but perhaps that is how your friends see it?" she offered, knowing that arguing with Inuyasha wouldn't get either of them anywhere. She watched as Inuyasha's face seemed to fall for a moment before he sighed as well.
"Yeah, maybe…" he agreed, looking down at where his mother and his own hand were connected. "But when I am with them, Kikyo gets upset. She says I'm putting them over her," he sighed, furrowing his brows in frustration. Izayoi kept her mouth shut on her opinion of Kikyo, knowing that Inuyasha would only see it when he wanted to.
"Girls need to feel wanted, but that doesn't mean that she gets to be the center of your world. You can do things and go places without her," his mother decided to say instead, hoping that her words were reaching him somehow.
Inuyasha blinked at how similar his mother and Kagome had sounded in that moment and mulled it over. If someone who had never met him or Kikyo before can have the same opinion as someone who knows the whole situation… maybe there was a bit of truth to what they were saying?
"Whatever. I'm gunna go play some games. Thanks for talking, mom," he bid, placing a kiss on her cheek before moving to get up. He felt her stop him, though, and he sat back down, looking at her with a confused expression.
"So… care to tell me a little more about meeting Kagome in the woods?" she asked, giving him a knowing smirk. Inuyasha rolled his eyes and sighed, knowing that this had been bound to happen.
"So, you felt the pull while you were outside and just followed it?" she asked, looking at her son with a raised eyebrow. Inuyasha blushed a little and nodded.
"She was apparently out for a midnight walk or somethin' and her scent got caught on the breeze," he supplied, trying to avoid his mother's gaze.
"What was it like when you first met her?" she asked, getting excited for her son. Inuyasha blushed at the memory and turned his head away, his arms crossed over his chest.
"Nothin' special. Just like any demon does when he sees his mate," he answered vaguely, trying to get out of this whole thing as quickly as he could. His mother wasn't going to accept that answer.
"So, it was the most amazing feeling ever?" she asked, laughing a little at how he seemed to get flustered over that. She could tell that she what she had said had exactly been the case.
"I don't wanna talk about all this mushy stuff anymore," he complained, shifting in his spot uncomfortably. His mother put a hand on his arm and gave it a rub.
"Inuyasha, you know that she is your soul mate—you've met her. Are you still going to keep things going with Kikyo?" she asked simply, looking at him seriously. His immediate response would have been "yes" in the past but… he had second thoughts when he remembered how happy his mother and father had seemed at the dinner table. They were always happiest when they were with each other. He sighed and looked down at his hands.
"I want to. I want to keep things going with her for as long as I can. This whole thing just seems so weird and unnatural. I should be able to fall in love with the person I choose to love, not the person I'm destined to love. I wanna make my own destiny, I don't wanna feel like someone's controlling me," he explained, furrowing his brows. "But Kagome's just so…"
"Perfect?" his mother supplied softly. Inuyasha gave her one, quick nod and blushed madly. "That's how she's supposed to seem. It's the bond. Inuyasha. I know that you want to be in charge of yourself, but this isn't a bad thing. You two were made for each other. She's going to be there to help you shape the rest of your destiny, just as you are going to do for her. I think you should give her a chance. The bond will make her seem perfect, but that's because she is a perfect fit for you. The more you spend time with her, the more you will see how much more sense it makes to be with her," she explained to him, giving her son a tender smile. "Things are only going to get harder for Kikyo the longer you put off telling her about this," she added, watching her son go stiff. Obviously, he hadn't been expecting her to think about that. He was quiet for a moment before looking over at her.
"Can I go now?" he asked softly, needing some time to think about everything that she had said to him. She nodded and gave him a wider smile.
"Of course. I'll see you for dinner, Inuyasha," she waved as he got up and left, waving back at her.
Why does she always have to say things that make everything else so much harder? He wondered to himself as he trudged up the stairs, the weight of his future boring down on his shoulders.
The week passed with little to no interruption and Kagome was surprised at the speed with which she had acclimated to the change in environment. It was a fairly simple routine—go to school, come home, make dinner, help Aunt Tsukimi into bed and the bath and go to bed. There hadn't been too much she needed to study for, so she spent most of her time with her Aunt or skyping her friends from her old school. They often expressed how much they missed her and kept her up-to-date on all the latest changes and gossip—but she could tell it just wasn't the same as actually being there to experience it.
Her mother stopped by as much as she could, but with Sota still in school and needing to be taken care of, her mother could only make it over every other day. Kagome didn't mind though, as it gave her a bit of a chance to feel independent. She still technically had an adult around, but with Aunt Tsukimi seeming to be in one of her out-of-touch moments, she really was taking care of herself. It was kind of nice to be able to just do her own thing without anyone telling her yes or no. At the same time, it was quite lonely. She didn't have her little brother around to pick on or her grandpa to pester. Plus, without her mom around, there really wasn't anyone she could go to for wise advice on her life problems. She often vented to Aunt Tsukimi and Buyo, but the experience wasn't the same.
Her situation with Inuyasha had seemingly improved. Without the pressure of having to like him and be with him right off the bat, they were able to find out a lot more about one another. The most predominant thing being that they could argue about almost anything and everything and the argument could last for hours. They were never violent or mean arguments, but if there was something that a person could have an opinion about, Inuyasha's opinion was contrary to hers, just for the heck of being contrary. There had been many times where she had wanted to pull her hair out, but when he would flash her that smug grin, she couldn't help but laugh a little at how ridiculous some of their arguments were.
Kagome hated to admit it, but she was grateful that Kikyo was still mad at Inuyasha because she knew that as soon as things were okay between them again, Inuyasha would no longer sit with them at lunch and would most likely stop hanging out with them altogether. It was almost as if Kikyo had him on an imaginary leash or something with the way he dropped everything to go be with her any time she sent him a text or called. He would always look at the group apologetically and quietly excuse himself from wherever he was. It often made her wonder if he was truly happy with this girl whom he had chosen over the person who was supposedly made for him. She laughed a little to herself and rolled her eyes, knowing that the jealous feelings she had weren't really hers and brushed them off. Kagome could entirely understand where Inuyasha was coming from. She had even thought the same thought only the day before. She wanted to be able to choose her own love as well.
Despite all her wishes and desires to have that freedom, she couldn't deny the way she felt when she was around him. She couldn't ignore the butterflies she got in her chest when he would make eye contact with her—or the way it was like a shock was being sent through her body every time they touched. As much of a fairy tale as it sounded, it really did feel like he was everything she could ever want or need.
Which was exactly why she hadn't stopped looking for research on how to get rid of the bond.
He was the only thing that she ever thought about anymore. He consumed her every thought or feeling, and she found herself awake some night, thinking of him and dreaming of the moment when they would finally get to be together. It wasn't healthy, and she knew it. Boys weren't everything. There was so much more that life had to offer her than just being paired off with some boy right out of high school. She hadn't been able to find much that she felt was valid, especially since she was only actually able to get any research done while she was at the school's library for the few minutes in between classes and sometimes after school. It was slow-moving and frustrating work, and she was starting to lose hope that she would ever be able to get rid of this ridiculous feeling in her heart. She had a last-ditch effort, which is why she was currently waiting outside of a little diner for her guest. When her eyes landed on a tall woman strolling gracefully towards her, Kagome smiled and gave the woman a wave.
"Mrs. Takahashi!" she called, greeting the woman with a small laugh. The woman smiled back and greeted Kagome with a slight bow.
"Kagome, it's so good to see you," she greeted warmly.
"I'm so glad you could make it, let's get inside," Kagome ushered the woman in politely, opening the door for her and escorting her inside. When they had tucked themselves away in a nice little corner of the diner, Kagome looked at Izayoi expectantly. "So, I'm sure you're wondering why I asked if you could meet me here…"
"You want to know more about the soul bond you have with my son, right?" she offered, straightening out her jacket with a smile and giggled lightly at Kagome's shocked expression.
"W-well, yes, actually. I've tried talking with him, but he doesn't really seem to want to talk about it," she supplied, rubbing the back of her neck as she glanced down at the table. She watched as Izayoi nodded her head and sighed slightly.
"Yes, he's been struggling to come to terms with everything as of late. He feels like he's losing control over everything. I've asked his father about it and he said that it's actually quite typical for young demons to try to rebel when they find their mate," she explained, sipping on some of the water that a waiter had brought to them when they had first entered.
Kagome listened carefully, taking in everything that Izayoi was saying. "He doesn't really seem to want to be with me," she commented, furrowing her brows at how much it hurt her to say that. "I've been doing some research lately and I can't seem to find anything on getting rid of the soul bond. Is that possible?" she asked, deciding to just cut to the chase. Izayoi's eyebrows raised and her eyes widened a little in shock.
"You… don't want to be soul mates with my son anymore?" she asked, as though what Kagome was saying wasn't making any sense. The girl blushed and looked down at the table once again, unable to meet the older woman's gaze.
"It's not anything about him, it's just that… he doesn't seem to want to be with me and I can't get him out of my head. He's the only thing I think about anymore and it's getting to the point where I can barely function," she explained with a frown. "It's just a lot of work for someone who doesn't want to be with me anyways," she concluded, sighing as she looked back up at Izayoi. The woman seemed to be in pensive thought for a moment before looking at Kagome with a frown.
"If there were a way, I would have used it long ago, when our bond nearly caused his entire empire to crumble," she decided after a while, chuckling dryly. Kagome frowned at that and sighed, her shoulders slumping.
"I just don't think I can handle any more of this. It's only been a week and I can't stop thinking about him—this could go on for years. It's just not healthy," she explained to Izayoi, frowning and now unable to hold back all her frustration. "This isn't how my life was supposed to go. I shouldn't be sitting here, pining for a boy I met earlier this week who has a girlfriend that he isn't going to just leave for a girl that he just met. Nothing that's been going on lately has made any sense," she vented, rubbing her eyes. Izayoi smiled.
"I see much of myself in you, Kagome," she commented, regarding the girl in front of her for a moment. "My advice to you, is that you cling to your friends and wait. Dog demons are stubborn—especially Inuyasha—but they are loyal and will always eventually come back to you," she assured her. Kagome smiled a little and that and sighed.
"Fine. But only a little longer," she conceded, glancing out the window across from them.
"Good, now let's check out these desserts. I've heard about the cheesecake here," Izayoi changed the subject, looking at the desserts menu with a smile.
How much longer is this going to last?
As the week went on, Inuyasha found it harder and harder to separate himself from Kagome when it came time to go their separate ways. Though he as always on time to pick up Kikyo from her various practices after school, he always tried to extend his time with Kagome as much as he could. He and Kikyo were still on bad terms, but as her boyfriend, it was his job to make sure that she got picked up and dropped off to the places that he had already made a commitment to drive her to. The car rides were always silent and the atmosphere was heavy—evidence that she was still upset about the whole staring thing. His ears flattened to his head. If this was how she was going to react to him just looking at another girl, he would hate to see how she would react if he ever told her that he had not only found his soul mate, but had chased her through the woods as well. His face went flush and he did his best to get rid of the dopey expression on his face as his thoughts wandered back to that night. It took everything he had to suppress the urge to be with her. Everything in him screamed to go to her and hold her close and never let go, but he knew that giving into those urges was just accepting defeat and being a slave to his instincts. He knew it would be so much easier to just allow himself to love her, but he knew that life wasn't as simple as just doing whatever your heart felt like.
He was beginning to lose sleep from the guilt that ate away at him nearly every night. It wasn't right to say he loved Kikyo and have his heart yearn for another. Every time he thought about the kisses and tender words that he and Kikyo had exchanged, his thoughts turned to Kagome and he wondered what it would be like to finally get to hold her and kiss her- to be able to tell her exactly how she made him feel. He knew that their anniversary was coming up soon, and he struggled to decide between telling her what was going on and keeping her blissfully ignorant until she eventually found out.
Which was what brought him to this moment at her house. He sat in her room, laying on the bed beside her as she worked on some schoolwork and he worked on finding the right thing to say. He sighed and cleared his throat, deciding that it was best to just get it out already.
"Hey, Kikyo," he called, wincing at how weak his voice sounded. She merely glanced over his way, her expression cold and somewhat irritated.
"Yes, Inuyasha?" she responded, rolling her eyes and continuing to work on her schoolwork.
"So, what do you know about demon soul bonds?" he asked, looking anywhere but at her. He heard her continue writing as though nothing he said was significant.
"Not much. I only know that you and I are not soul mates," she answered coolly, her expression straight. He bit his lip a little, his ears flattening to his head.
"Have you ever wondered what would happen if I did find my soul mate?" he asked, trying to keep himself still and his voice even. She sighed and seemed to grow frustrated with him.
"We've had this discussion before, haven't we? You said that you would ignore it and stay with me. Has that plan changed?" she asked, looking up at him with a quirked eyebrow on her otherwise impassive face. He swallowed and looked away, unable to meet her eyes.
"No, it hasn't I just… I think I met her…" he stated quietly, biting his lip, his fang worrying the flesh. She narrowed her eyes at that.
"Oh? When was this?"
"Friday. I… I was out for a walk and I… uh… bumped into her," he lied, not wanting Kikyo to know all the details just yet. "I didn't know it was her right away, but there was this pull and it was doing weird things to my head and I held her in my arms. My demon told me she was mine, but I… I ran away before anything else happened, but I know that she is my soul mate," he stated, forcing the words to leave his mouth and feeling a strange sense of excitement from having said them. Kikyo sat there for a moment, looking him over with narrowed eyes.
"You are leaving out information," she surmised, looking him over and frowning slightly when he stiffened.
"Well…" his ears flattened and he looked away. "When I first found her, something came over me and I… uh… I licked her…" he admitted, blushing at the memory and how embarrassing something like that was when it was said out loud. Kikyo made a noise of disgust.
"You weren't able to control yourself?" she asked, her voice laced with doubt and accusation.
"I mean, I had some control, but my instincts were taking the reins on this one," he admitted, rubbing the back of his neck as he glanced up at her. What he saw on her face was something he knew he wouldn't soon forget. She was filled with the most bitter mix of distain, frustration, hurt, and anger he had ever seen. He wasn't certain that there was any actual sad emotion in there, just a brewing rage that seemed to almost overwhelm his nose.
"Yes, of course," she bit out, seething in anger.
"I just… I couldn't handle the guilt and with our one-year coming up, I didn't want to start it off with any lies or deception," he added, trying to explain himself to her. It didn't seem to be working. "Kikyo, you don't understand, this pull it's… it's not like anything I've ever felt before. It takes everything I have to ignore it every day, but I'm doing it because I love you and want to be with you," he explained, his eyebrows furrowing.
"Inuyasha, I believe we need to separate. You obviously can't trust yourself to be loyal to me knowing that you have a soul mate out there who was made for you," she spat, looking back at her schoolwork. Inuyasha growled a little in frustration.
"I don't want her, I want you!" he protested, placing a hand on his chest. "I didn't choose this. I don't even want this. I'm perfectly happy to be with you," he defended, trying to salvage the world that seemed to continue to crumble around him. She didn't respond, only continued to work on the homework in front of her. When a few minutes passed in silence, Inuyasha sighed and got up from the bed, trudging over to the door and letting himself out.
So much for honesty being the best policy.
Author's Note:
Hey everyone! Another chapter up and not a moment too soon. This one had some really juicy moments in it I think, and we are starting to get to the middle of the story. I hope everyone liked it! I have been getting lots of positive reviews lately and I just want to say thank you to everyone who has reviewed. It's really so awesome to hear from you all and hear what you liked and what you think i'm doing right. I don't have a beta reader, so everything I'm putting out only goes through me. These next few chapters are going to start being more drama-filled, so just stick with us! Thanks guys!
-STH
