Hux had the good sense to look abashed, even if he quickly masked it with a thin-lipped sneer.
"I want to hear this woeful tale from your own mouth, General," Kira said, Lieutenant Mitaka trailing helplessly behind her as she intercepted Hux exiting a lift aboard the Finalizer.
"What in particular were you wanting to know?" Hux returned evenly.
"The lieutenant told me that the droid stole a yacht."
"We have no confirmation, but we believe that the bounty hunter and FN-2187 may have helped in the escape."
"The bounty hunter?"
"Yes, the bounty hunter who calls himself Kylo."
Kira Ren was unnervingly still, her mood unreadable behind the reflective mask.
"Is that all, Lord Ren?" Hux said sharply.
"Yes, thank you. You've done enough."
Kira turned to leave, but Hux called after her. "You'll want to know, our sources reported them on Nar Shaddaa, although they've since disappeared. But we have confirmed that they joined forces with one Han Solo aboard the Millennium Falcon."
Kira faced him again, her posture loose.
Hux smirked. "It won't be hard to find them in such infamous and... incautious company. I'll have you informed once we've retrieved the map."
Kira didn't move, but Hux's smirk melted as he felt something constrict around his throat – not enough to cut off his oxygen or even push on his trachea, but enough to let him know that the capability was there, restrained. He glared. She knew she couldn't follow through against the Supreme Leader's favor.
"I will be informed when you have their location, and I will retrieve the map myself. Your army has already failed several times at this simple task that I doubt they would succeed now." Kira paused. "Anything else, General?"
"That is all."
"Hmm, good."
Kira left with a satisfied stride that made Hux stew as he rubbed his throat with one hand. He whipped it away when he caught the sympathetic glance from Lieutenant Mitaka, glowering until the junior officer had the sense to look away. Hux saw then the fresh red marks on Mitaka's neck, just above his pressed collar, and he swallowed.
That wasn't going to be him. It never would be him. Kira Ren would have to learn her place.
"Sir, your shuttle is ready to transport you down to Starkiller Base," Mitaka informed him. He coughed stiffly behind a trembling fist. Hux eyed him.
"Excellent. Instruct Captain Peavey to keep the Finalizer within the system. I want the crew to witness the demonstration later today."
"Yes, sir. Of course, sir."
Kylo wasn't used to feeling settled. He wasn't sure if the urge to move on was part of who he was or if it was a result of the course of his life, but he always felt relieved when he could leave a place behind, never looking back.
He couldn't help but notice that Finn had that same air, sitting behind him in the cockpit of the Nowhere. The recent First Order deserter was sitting straight in his seat, leaning forward, thoughtful eyes trained on the blur of hyperspace beyond the viewport, ready to move on, to keep going, to forget.
Kylo's scowl deepened. The thought made him angry – the last thing he needed was to see himself in a runaway.
"He's your father, isn't he?"
"What?"
"Han Solo. He's your father, right?"
Kylo choked.
"Or, I mean, I guess, he's related to you at least, right?"
"What – "
"I noticed that you have the same look. When you're angry? That kind of glare with your – your mouth – "
"Finn..." Kylo warned.
Finn continued, nonplussed. "I hadn't ever seen that before."
"You hadn't seen two people fight? I thought you were a stormtrooper."
"I was, and I did. But you guys didn't fight like that."
"I'll just take your word for it," Kylo drawled.
"So? Am I right?"
"About what?"
"Is he your father?"
Kylo finally turned to glare at Finn, who just set his lips together and stared back. "If I answer, will you shut up?"
"No."
"Then you don't get an answer."
"Alright."
Kylo let his breath out through his teeth.
"You know," Finn started up again.
Kylo faced forward.
"I'm a Stormtrooper. Or I was. Whatever. Like everyone else, I was taken by the First Order from a family I'll never know. They raised me to do one thing. But my first battle... I made a choice. I saw what they did, who they were. My squadmate died in the battle – not that you care. But they just kept going. Slaughtering and burning and destroying. They didn't care about me, or anyone else. Everything they made me do was for themselves, and they didn't care who got crushed along the way. And I decided I wasn't going to kill for them. So I ran."
"Is there a point to this backstory?"
Finn slammed a hand on the console.
"Kriff, man, could you just listen?"
"I'd rather not."
Finn sighed. "See, I feel like you know what I'm talking about. You saw something that changed everything. Except, maybe, I'm running to something – towards somewhere that I can actually care about something. But you're running away from that, aren't you?"
Kylo sat rigid. "You know nothing, but thank you for the analysis. If you're looking for something to care for, look somewhere else. This is a waste of time." He stood up, stalking out of the cockpit.
"Whoa, chill, man."
"Dameron and San Tekka could have been lying or insane, or both. Ball! Where are you?"
BB-8 appeared from the aft cabins, cheeping blithely as he rolled into the lounge.
"Droid, show me the map," Kylo demanded, crouching down.
BB-8 was taken aback, swiveling his head to look at Finn, who stood behind Kylo.
Finn shrugged. "Go ahead. Show him."
BB-8 seemed to consider them both, his wobble thoughtful. Finally, he rolled to the center of the room, turning on the holoprojector in his oculus. A star chart appeared, growing larger, filling the space. Stars and planets and systems floated around them as Kylo stood.
"It's not complete," Finn said, observing the small piece of the galaxy around them. "It could be anywhere. Do you think it's real?"
Kylo studied the systems displayed throughout the lounge. None of them were familiar, but the detail and logic of the map appeared valid. If Luke Skywalker wanted to disappear somewhere, he had sure done a much better job than Kylo had.
"It seems legitimate," Kylo admitted, "but it won't do the Resistance much good unless they have the rest of this map."
"I can tell you the First Order does. They know everything."
"You better hope that's not true, or we're all dead. And as a traitor you'll probably go first."
The navicomp pinged, signaling they were approaching their destination. Kylo returned to the cockpit and set the controls to prepare for the drop out of hyperspace.
"You know, man, you're kind of a jerk."
"I've been called worse."
"I'm a soldier. Trust me, I'm holding back."
Kylo disengaged the hyperdrive and the starlines warped into the individual pinpoints of light that formed the constellations of the sky over Takodana. The planet appeared above them through the viewport, a marble swirled through with vibrant greens and blues.
"This place looks a lot nicer than Nar Shaddaa," Finn observed as they approached atmosphere.
"Looks can be deceiving."
"Yeah, I know, trusting a dishonest man and all that."
Kylo guided the Nowhere down through the atmosphere to the surface, skimming over Nymeve Lake towards the far shoreline. The sea of leafy treetops extended to the horizon, rolling over hills and ridges like a lush carpet of emerald.
She would love this place.
"Switch off," Kylo muttered.
"Hey, just saying what you said."
"What? Never mind." Kylo scowled.
BB-8 whistled cheerfully as they disembarked on the treeline a few kilometers from the castle dominating the northern edge of the lake. A clean breeze swept off the water, playing with the end of Kylo's cloak.
"Yeah, we're going to find you a way home. Finally," Kylo agreed.
"Hey!"
Kylo, Finn, and BB-8 turned to see Han Solo loping through the trees towards them, presumably from the Falcon's landing space, trailed by a towering Wookiee.
"Took you long enough. I thought maybe you'd bailed again," he said.
"I don't bail," Kylo said.
"Oh, yeah, right. Sorry, I just meant –"
Kylo slashed a hand through the air. "Forget it."
"Right."
Kylo didn't get to speak again because he was being crushed by a pair of exceptionally strong, hairy arms. He didn't resist either, because he knew that was completely pointless, just held his breath and waited stiffly for the rib-cracking ordeal to end.
When he was finally released, Chewie held Kylo at armslength and roared in his face. Kylo didn't flinch, knowing he deserved a worse chastisement than he was receiving right now. Anything the Wookiee threw at Kylo, he had beat himself with over and over again every night of the past four years.
"Hey, that's enough, Chewie," Han said gruffly, interrupting stage two of the Wookiee's tirade. Chewbacca growled, clearly disagreeing. He narrowed his eyes at Kylo, taking in his unmoved expression with displeasure. Meanwhile, Finn gaped, gripping his weapon, unsure of how to react to the situation.
Han noticed. "Big Deal, this is my first mate, Chewie."
Chewbacca rumbled a greeting to Finn, whose mouth was still slightly ajar, then asked a question while he ruffled Kylo's hair with one giant hand. Finn's bewilderment grew exponentially as he continued to observe their interaction. Kylo jerked away, pulling up his hood.
"Yes, he's former First Order," Kylo answered stiffly. Chewbacca cocked his head, observing him with his old eyes.
"You understand that?" Finn interjected.
"Yeah, and he understands you, so watch it," Han reprimanded. "Alright, we got a short hike before we get to Maz's place. You ready?"
Kylo's lips thinned at Han's presumption of "we", but he admitted he had let "we" happen, so he could only blame himself. Anyway, if he could just transfer ownership of the droid's situation to the crew of the Falcon, he could still get out of this mess and disappear.
They walked in single file, Kylo first, followed by BB-8. Han and the others trailed behind.
He chose to be in front because he was in charge – but kriff if he couldn't feel them all looking at his back. He hunched his shoulders, trying to make the stares slide off. Eventually, he heard Han talking to Finn.
"Maz Kanata has run this watering hole for over a thousand years. Now, Maz is a bit of an acquired taste," Han said, "so you better let us do the talking. And don't stare."
"At what?" Finn said apprehensively, glancing up at Chewie, who tilted his head sympathetically.
"At any of it."
Kylo shook his head. Han was going to freak the kid out.
They arrived in the courtyard of Maz's castle, colorful banners waving in the breeze above their heads, overshadowed by a humanoid statue reaching towards the bright sky.
"Alright, we find Maz, get her to take the droid to the Resistance, and then we all go our separate ways," Kylo stated, ignoring the uncertain looks from the others. Only BB-8 seemed all in with the plan, already making his way up the shallow stairs towards the main doors. "Let's go."
The doors slid open and the raucous noise and smell of the crowded cantina poured over them. The place was packed, busier than Kylo remembered. Sentients and droids mingled freely over drinks and cards, enjoying recreation and conducting business in one cacophonous harmony, all coordinated by the tiny orange-skinned ancient pirate carrying a tray of empty glasses back to the bar. She spun around, fixing eyes made over-large by giant lenses on the odd company in her doorway.
"HAN SOLO!"
The chatter and music crashed to a halt as every eye and lens and oculus in the castle turned to stare at them.
Han coughed. "Hey, Maz."
Kylo glared with crossed arms at several of the cantina's occupants until they looked away. Most just went back to their activities of their own accord, uninterested in whatever Maz was going on about now.
Maz Kanata walked over to them, neatly shoving away anything and everyone who got in her way.
"There's my boyfriend," Maz said with a grin, pinching Chewbacca on the arm. He huffed a warm greeting. "How's the family?"
Chewie told Maz about his son's work on Kashyyyk with the resettlement of the Wookiee homeworld and gaining the New Republic's support. Kylo could hear the pride in his voice, and felt his own shame rise even higher. Of course Chewbacca was upset with him – his own progeny had been rebuilding worlds and cultures, while Kylo had been destroying people and legacies. Well, the joke was on him – Kylo already knew he was a failure.
"It's about damn time," Maz growled at Chewbacca, shaking her head. "Kashyyyk is one of the worst tragedies the Empire ever created."
Then she turned to Kylo, eyes sharp.
"Ben Solo. I assume you must need something desperately if you've come to me. And with your father, too."
"I knew it!" Finn whispered to Chewbacca, who shook his head in warning.
Maz looked between Han and Kylo, sighing. "Alright, let's get to it."
Maz guided them over a table in the back of the space. Kylo scanned the crowd. While the majority seemed legitimately absorbed in their business, he caught a few sharp glances that melted away as soon as he took notice. They were still hot, apparently, and couldn't afford to spend anymore time here than necessary.
A droid brought over refreshments as they settled in awkwardly, no one sure where to sit. Eventually, Kylo ended up on the corner beside Finn, across from Chewie and Han. Maz presided, BB-8 near her feet.
"So, what brings you to me?"
Han and Kylo's eyes met briefly before they parted just as quickly. Kylo refused to speak – what little goodwill he had had was lost when Maz called him by his old name.
Han cleared his throat. "Well, the Resistance and the First Order are trying to get Luke, you know. And they were tracking down this map that they think will lead to him. Turns out that BB-8 here has that map."
"A map to Skywalker himself? Ha! You're right back in the mess."
"Maz, we need you to get this droid back to Leia."
Han and Kylo waited while Maz considered, her sly smile growing.
"Hmm. No."
"What?"
Her expression turned fierce. "You both have been running away from this fight for too long. Leia doesn't deserve this from her boys. Both of you, go home."
"What fight?" Finn asked, confused.
"The only fight: against the Dark Side. Through the ages, I've seen evil take many forms. The Sith. The Empire. Today, it is the First Order. Their shadow is spreading across the galaxy. We must face them. Fight them. All of us."
Kylo slammed a fist down on the table, making the untouched food and drink shiver. "We came here for your help. And who decided that they had to be stopped? That the First Order is the evil here? You?" Kylo demanded.
The table went deathly silent, allowing the sound of the band and the crowd to wash over them. Kylo bristled.
"Hmm." Maz adjusted her lens, making her eyes grow even larger. She crawled up on the table, shoving aside obstacles as she came towards Kylo, who glowered, refusing to look away.
"If you live long enough," she mused, staring into his face, "you see the same eyes in different people. I'm looking at the eyes of a man who has lost something, and he doesn't know where to begin to find it again."
Kylo reached into his pocket to feel for it – the small pearl was there, just like always – as Maz shuffled back to sit down in her seat again.
"She had the same look, you know, when she came here. Looking for you, if I recall."
Kylo stiffened. Did she mean –
"It hasn't been that long since I called you here to deal with her, Han. A lot has happened since then," Maz sighed.
No!
Kylo's head jerked around at the cry, but no one else at the table seemed to notice anything amiss.
"Leia doesn't want to see me," Han admitted.
"That is an excuse," Maz said.
No!
He heard it again. Kylo shoved his chair back.
"Hey, where are you going?" Han said.
"What do you care, old man?" Kylo spat, and left.
"Wait, Kylo!" Finn called.
He could hear them arguing behind him, but Kylo ignored it.
No!
Movement caught his eye, drawing his gaze to a stairway tucked in an odd corner, twisting out of sight. No one seemed to be paying attention, so he made his escape.
Kylo stumbled downwards, finding himself in a basement corridor. He began to pace furiously, unable to find a vent for his churning emotions.
A child's laugh echoed around him and Kylo whirled, but all he saw was BB-8, who had followed him down the stairs. He sighed. Maybe he was finally cracking.
"BB-8, you need to go."
BB-8 whistled.
"No, I'm not fine, and no, it's not your fault. Just go. They'll figure out a way to help you."
There was a pneumatic hiss at the far end of the corridor. Both Kylo and BB-8 turned to find the source and saw a door standing open, a green indicator light on the wall next to it.
"Who's there?"
No one answered, and Kylo slid the blaster from his belt and stalked towards the opening. Peering in, he saw nothing but a storage room, full of forgotten boxes and crates. Still, he felt compelled to go in.
It was dusty, the light dingy from high windows edged with emerald grass from the outdoors. No one was there either. He looked at BB-8, peeking in the doorway.
"Must be a glitchy door," Kylo said, his voice muffled in the claustrophobic room. He moved to leave, berating himself for being an idiot, but tripped over a wooden chest he would have sworn hadn't been there before. Cursing, he tried to shove it with his foot, but it refused to be moved. Kylo bent down to pick it up, but it was heavier than it had any right to be and his hands slipped. The lid caught on his fingers, flipping up.
Kylo stopped breathing.
A lightsaber lay on top of a pile of soft fabric, gleaming in the dim lighting.
"How," he breathed. It can't be.
He didn't consciously decide to reach into the chest, but when he touched the smooth metal of the hilt, it felt warm. It felt like an opening, something returning that he had set aside a long time ago.
The lid slammed shut of its own accord, making Kylo jump. The light was gone and the wind howled, morphing into mechanized breath sounds.
What –
The light returned, flickering in panels in the floor and walls. The storage room was gone, replaced by a hallway stretching to infinity, something from a starcraft or a space station. The air was cold and dead, voices murmuring in his mind. Kylo stepped forward, about to call out, seeking answers –
The world tilted, and Kylo was thrown to the ground, catching himself on his hands and knees in the mud. He looked up into a rain shower as thunder rumbled in the air. The Temple was burning, his throat felt coated with smoke and ash, he couldn't breathe.
A sharp crackle drew his attention. He saw her, a dark hood covering a faceless mask that reflected the red of the hungry flames and the angry lightsaber and spilt blood of the bodies, so many bodies, all his fault. She came for him and he was stumbling back, unbalanced –
No!
"Ben, please."
A woman with her brunette hair twisted in a wreath about her head was talking to a sullen teenager with long dark hair that didn't do anything to conceal his large ears.
"Go with Luke. He'll be able to help you."
"What? Like her?"
A few meters away, the scrawny girl was playing with her borrowed holopad, oblivious.
"You think I'm messed up, hopeless like her?"
"Ben! Don't say that. She just needs help."
"And so do I, apparently. Fine, I'll go. Maybe Luke Skywalker, savior of the galaxy, can fix what the amazing Senator Organa doesn't have time for anymore."
"Ben!"
Kylo was fixated on the silent tears sliding down the girl's cheeks unnoticed by the others. His fault. When he looked up the boy and his mother were gone –
And there was snow. Dead trees, quiet as the white flakes settled thickly over the ground. He looked back but the girl is gone too.
"Rey?" he whispered, the name sticking in his throat. Kylo stepped forward, searching between the trees. "Hello?"
The dark figure was nearly invisible amongst the shadowed trees, but he walked toward her, unable to do anything else.
He stopped when they were almost touching. The mask reflected his own face, unfamiliar as a stranger's.
He didn't feel it at first, when she lit the lightsaber through his chest. He saw the red glow and heard the unhinged buzzing, and then it burned, searing through his heart –
This will begin to make things right.
Kylo collapsed, gasping for air on the cool stone, his eyes closed to block out the horrible image.
"Ben."
He looked up to see Maz standing over him as he spluttered on the ground. "What – what was that?"
Her words were soft, wondrous. "That lightsaber was Luke's, and his father's before him, and now – it calls to you."
"No." Kylo pushed himself to his knees. "I want no part of this."
"Dear child. I can see in your eyes you already know the truth. You are trying to escape your past, but you can only do that by facing your present. The belonging you lost is not behind you. It is ahead. I am no Jedi, but I know the Force. It moves through and surrounds every living thing."
"Not me."
"It's always been there. Open yourself, and it will guide you again. The saber. Take it."
Kylo stared at the lightsaber in her hand. In another lifetime, he would've died to have it, his legacy, his grandfather's weapon in the Light, a bedrock of assurance. But it was too late for that. He drew back.
"I'm never touching that again. I want no part of this."
Kylo turned and ran away from Maz and the saber, bounding up the stairs three at a time. At the top of the staircase, the cantina remained unchanged, ignorant of his internal maelstrom. His father and Chewbacca and Finn still sat at the table, conversing together. They saw him emerge from the passageway, but Kylo spun and pushed through the crowd.
"Kylo!"
He ignored the call, but Finn caught up to him and yanked his arm.
"Hey, Kylo. You alright?"
Kylo turned on him. "Get out while you can. Right now."
"What?"
"You were right. We're the same. But I'm caught, and I can only care for things that fate has already decided – and I choose not to care because it's the only choice left to me. But unlike me, Finn, you have no ties to destiny holding you back. So go, find somewhere that you can really care for something. Anyone of these people here will probably trade labor for passage to the Outer Rim."
Kylo wrenched his arm free and stormed out of the castle and into the forest, leaving a stunned ex-stormtrooper in his wake.
Kira Ren waited on the bridge of the Finalizer.
It was actually enjoyable without Hux sputtering and sniveling beside her as she gazed out the expansive viewports. Captain Peavey made a point of avoiding her and the officers in the pits didn't dare look up, ducking whenever her shadow crossed over them.
The noise of their work faded to the background as she stared unseeing at the stars. She was even able to ignore Hux's thin voice when his address started, broadcast over the ship's intercom so all personnel could hear his vitriolic words.
She braced herself. The other Knights aboard the Finalizer had chosen to seclude themselves in their chambers, hiding from the impending consequences of Hux's pride. Kira preferred to see it coming. Being here also kept her accountable, because she could never show weakness in front of simple officers.
After a few moments, crimson sliced through the sky, reflected as bloody slashes across her mask. It travelled faster than should have been natural as the dark energy quintessence tunneled through hyperspace towards the Hosnian system. The beam of light diverged, burying itself in the heart of each planet in the distant system.
A simple flick of a switch, a push of a button by a First Order lackey, and planets became molten hellscapes.
It hurt. Pain like she'd never experienced, the accumulation of the fear and distress of billions rolling over and through her, and then like a black hole, being pulled back out of her, leaving nothing behind.
Kira Ren did not flinch or shudder. Instead, she relaxed her hands from tight fists, letting her shoulders ease a millimeter.
"Sir."
Kira pivoted to face the lieutenant, the same unfortunate soul that she had nearly strangled just yesterday.
"What?"
"W-we found them. The droid was sighted with the two fugitives on Takodana, sir."
"Prepare my command shuttle immediately, and inform the other Knights."
"Y-yes, sir."
Author's Note: So guys, it's inevitable now. THEY WILL FINALLY AND GLORIOUSLY COLLIDE IN THE NEXT CHAPTER.
It's gonna be dope. At least it is in my head. And hey, if you wanna talk about it or yell at me for making you wait another two weeks, leave a comment or hit me up on tumblr under the same name ( a-nerd-obsessed). I love hearing from y'all.
And thanks for putting up with me and being such amazing readers. See you in two weeks!
