Because You Care
Chapter 7: Mama
Here is the long awaited drama, and I hope you like it! I'm trying to leave you with material to guess about. That is always a fun thing for me. Oh, and I apologize for how long it has been since I have written. But I'm back! Enjoy :)
I couldn't believe it. In exactly three weeks I was gonna marry Beau. I had waited so long for this moment and now it was almost here.
Our wedding wasn't going to be the biggest wedding ever. Just a small ceremony at this cute little church that had been there much longer than it should've been. The place was about to fall down, but we didn't care.
I sat and thought of all this one morning while watching The Office and eating yogurt. My life had become that simple, but I was completely thrilled about it. Which is weird considering how much I used to hate being nothing. Now nothing was all I wanted, and a life with Beau of course.
As for guests, I had really only invited a few friends from home and so had Beau. His mother and father were coming too. Of course, mine weren't. I was at the point where I was ready to forgive them, but I wasn't ready to step back into relationship.
Just thinking of parents made me sad. I had held all of my feelings and pain inside for so long, that now there was no more room to store stuff.
All the thoughts of my parents were interrupted when I heard Beau come into the room.
"Hey," I said, as I turned round. Beau had a towel wrapped around his waist, and his wet hair was dangling in front of his eyes.
"What are you doin?" He mumbled as he walked over to me.
"Just watching The Office." He plopped down on the couch next to me while I talked.
"You don't even like that show."
"I know." Sometimes I wondered why Beau was so good at making me feel awkward.
"So why are you watching it?" He wrapped his arm around my shoulders while he talked.
"Cause," I was starting to get a little ticked off. Which didn't usually happen to me. But for some reason, I was really mad.
"That's not a good enough answer." He was teasing me. I could tell by how he was talking.
"Yes it is. I don't have to tell you anything Beau. So leave me alone, and stop being so annoying." I was tired of being teased. I knew it was just a joke, but today just wasn't a day to joke around with me.
"Come on Chiles, I'm just talking." He smiled and nudged me on the shoulder, leaning in for a kiss while he talked.
"Yeah, well you should stop." I pushed him away lightly and turned my attention towards the TV.
"Come on, what's this about?" He reached for the remote, and I shrugged away, hiding it under my arm.
"Nothing," I slowly turned back and set the remote on my lap.
"Is this about us? What did I do to make you so pissed off?" Before I could react, he grabbed the remote and turned off the TV. Then he set the remote down on the coffee table.
"Just drop it Beau."
"I'm not dropping anything. Now tell me what's going on." He grabbed my shoulder and turned my body towards him. However lightly he did it, it still brought back bad memories.
"Fine!" I shouted at him. "If you have to know so bad, I'm upset because," I had never told Beau about my past, and opening up about it was going to hurt. "because I don't have anyone. No one. No family to call or invite to my own wedding!" Beau was staring at me with complete shock. "I have spent the last twenty three years of my life alone. The truth is, I'm a liar. My parents aren't schoolteachers. They're drug addicts, and dunks, and all they've ever done is abuse me." Talking about my life openly for the first time made me sick to my stomach and I suddenly burst into tears as I slumped over on the couch.
Instead of asking me questions, or saying anything, Beau just wrapped his arms around me and let me cry into his shoulder.
All of my crying left me exhausted, so after Beau left to work, I fell asleep on the couch. I thought taking a nap would be the perfect peace maker I needed, but instead I just started having nightmares.
Then all of the sudden I jolted awake from my nightmare. There was a scream just waiting to come out of mouth that I was lucky enough to contain. But just as soon as I had shut up the scream, I felt a knot in my stomach, and I jumped up, running to the bathroom to puke up my guts.
After I lost my entire day's meals, I sprawled out on the bathroom floor, and cried, again. What was wrong with me? I didn't do this. This wasn't me. This was an emotionally unstable girl, crying on the bathroom floor. The last time I did this was when my Prom date got drunk and forgot to pick me up. Then my parents got in a drug bust, and the police showed up.
So now, here I was reliving my past misery. Only this time, I wasn't in high school, and there weren't any drugs. Instead it was just me and the bathroom floor, crying about stupid things like how much puking sucked. Thinking about it made me sick, and I was ready to wretch again, when I heard the door bell ring.
My first thought was, 'crap, now I have to get up'. Then I thought about who on earth would be ringing our door bell. I mean, we had friends, but it wasn't like they just showed up sometimes cause they wanted to chat or something. The last time someone rang the door bell, it was Beau, and he was only doing it because he had forgotten his key.
At that moment, my state of mind was not the best, but I still got up and walked out of the bathroom. I was almost to the door when the bell rang again. And then again, and again and again. By the time I got to the door I was so ticked off that I was considering punching the person on the other side in the face.
instead, I just opened the door. But I was shocked to see who was standing on the other side.
"Mama?" I couldn't believe it. There was my mother standing there with this big old red lipsticked smile on her face.
"Chiles! Ugh," She ran up to me and threw her arms around my neck. "sweetie. Look at you." She let go of me and stepped back, all while I was trying to regain all sense of sanity that I had.
"What are you doing here?" I didn't smile at her, or hug her or anything. I just stared, and waited.
"Well, I thought I would surprise you." She smiled again, and put her hands on her hips.
"But, but how did you even find me here?"
"Oh, just a little thing called Google. I heard about your little trip to fame, and saw an article about you saying that you were in California. Now come here and give your mother another hug and let me inside." She stretched out her arms and walked towards me.
"No, Mama." I stepped back and crossed my arms across my chest.
"Now come on Chiles," She kept her arms up and continued to smile, but I cut her off.
"I said no, Mama." Instantly, her arms dropped and a frown hit her face. Then I saw her eyes glance over my hand. The instant she saw my ring, her mouth fell open and I could see the shock written on her face.
"What's that? Is that a-"
"Yes, Mama. I'm getting married."
"To who? Do I know this boy?" She stepped closer to me, I'm sure trying to get into the house.
"No, but I don't think it's your business to ask me about him." There were no smiles on my face, especially since I was holding in the urge to puke again.
"Oh yes it is." Her face got a little angry, and her voice went down with every word.
"No Mama, actually it's not. I'm not falling in this trap again. You need to go." I started to close the door, but she stopped it.
"What are you doing Chiles?"
"Saying goodbye."
"You can't do that! I'm your mother!" Just hearing her yelling made me cringe.
"Not anymore. I have a new life, and you don't need to be a part of it." Then I closed the door in her face, and locked it behind me. A sudden rush of relief and new freedom ran over me as I realized what I had just over come. The only problem was that I knew she would be back, but I would have Beau by my side, and he's all I needed. The truth was that in reality, I did love my mother, and I missed her too, but she had caused me enough pain. It was time for me to be strong, and move on. So that's what I was gonna do.
