Author's Note - Hey guys! Happy New Year! To celebrate, we have a new chapter, yeah! So, before I do my normal list, I have a very important service announcement to make. Kids, don't smoke. Shikamaru Nara smokes because he is an anime character. And no matter how cool it makes him look (trust me, I know), smoking is bad for us actual humans. Thank you, we'll bring you back to your regularly scheduled program. So, first thing on the list, I've left a hint in the title and that is all that you need to know. Second, yeah, it may seem a little like, oh the dimension-hoppers are getting along with everyone just fine, but in reality, that's only true for most people. Three, remember the numbers, guys. Numbers are important. That vague enough for you guys? Great! On to the story!

Chapter 7: Man, I Feel Like a Woman

Shikadai

"Ok, I'm going to make this a quick as possible because I didn't slave over that meal only for it to go cold." Aunt Ino ordered as she stood before Taka, her arms crossed. She didn't look that upset though, as if she's been waiting for this moment. After Taka's declaration and the Lees impromptu arrival, the women in the kitchen had entered the living room to see what all of the fuss was about. After a brief summary of what occurred, the Lord Hokage gave Aunt Ino permission to interrogate Taka.

"Yes ma'am." Taka nodded in agreement.

Shikadai watched on from his spot next to Mira and Beni. Both girls gave off an odd air to them. As if they were both petrified and at peace all at once. Like this moment was the inevitable that they have been waiting for since their arrival. Mira was standing with her shoulders back, every muscle tensed. Beni was leaning against her, her little arms wrapped around the brunette's thin waist. Flaking them was the other genin, all watching with baited breath.

The adults surrounded the pair in the middle of the room. More specifically, they stood near the exits, prepared to catch a runner. Only Shikadai's father didn't stand at attention. During the hoopla, Motoko had burst into inconsolable tears, worrying not just the room and her sister but his father as well. The little girl had thrown herself from Dad's arms and sprinted to Taka's legs. Once there, she wrapped herself around the boy, speaking through the tears,

"Don't hurt, Taka!" Over and over again, looking at Aunt Ino in absolute fear. It had taken the combined effort of Mira, Taka, and Dad to assure her that no, Aunt Ino wasn't going to hurt Taka, she just had a few questions. Even still, the child was still clingy and would only leave Taka for Dad.

"You understand why we're doing this, Takashi?" The Lord Hokage asked softly. He looked pained, as if he never wanted this to happen and that he despised the very fact that it was happening. Taka took it in stride and shrugged.

"Honestly sir, I was expecting this sooner. I get it though. You've got a village to protect and I happen to have one of its secrets. Go ahead with your questions, ma'am. I've got nothing to hide." Taka stated firmly. Aunt Ino stared him down, her Head of T&I persona kicking in.

"What's your name?"

"Takashi Uzumaki."

"How long have you been a shinobi for?"

"A year."

"Alright, you're telling the truth. Tell me, you claim that the Flying Thunder God Seal is your birthright. Is this true?"

"Yes."

"How?"

"Through my mother."

Shikadai couldn't stop his eyes as they glanced over to Himawari. The Uzumaki girl was standing next to her brother, her blue Hyuga eyes locked on the show before them. Shikadai flicked his view from her to Taka to her again. They did look similar. Shikadai then compared Taka to Himawari's father and brother. He frowned. Yes, the possibility was there. Takashi Uzumaki could be the son of Himawari.

Yet, Shikadai doubted his own conclusion. There was something about Taka, his mannerism, his attitude, his tone of voice that tossed the possibility out of the window. Taka and his heritage was an enigma that refused to be solved. There was something else, something else that he, Shikadai Nara, the son of a genius, refused to see. But what?

"So, you are Uzumakis through your mother and that you are also related to the Fourth Hokage?" Aunt Ino asked.

"Yes." Taka stated firmly, his resolution unwavering. Aunt Ino continued to stare at him before turning to face her boss.

"He's telling the truth." She confirmed.

There was a plethora of sighs of relief that filled the room. Hell, he sighed with relief. Taka was a cool guy and clearly, he was important to Mira and Motoko to cause such strong emotions from them. Shikadai shuttered to think what they would do if Taka was dragged away by ANBU. Either way, the situation was over and Taka was cleared-

"Read him." Sarada's father ordered, his visible eye staring Taka down. Lord Hokage tensed and pivoted to glared at his friend. He purposefully stood between the Uchiha patriarch and Taka. Contrary to popular belief, Shikadai did not sleep through all of his academy lessons. Shino-Sensei's history lessons was the one section that Shikadai didn't nap through. Especially when Shino-Sensei was talking about their current Hokage's life. One of Shino-Sensei's most important points was that Naruto Uzumaki was and still is an orphan who was ostracized by the village for being the human prison of the Ninetails. The boy had no one, no friends, no family. No one. So, this revelation that Takashi, and thus, Benihime, were members of his clan and his family in more ways than one, it was no wonder that the man looked ready to kill for them.

"He's telling the truth, Sasuke." Lord Hokage reminded his friend, causing the stoic man to surprisingly nodded in agreement.

"Yes, he is. He's still hiding something." Sasuke Uchiha explained.

"I'm a shinobi, sir. It's part of my job." Taka chided, trying to add some light to the situation. "It's fine though. You can read me, ma'am. It'll put everyone at ease."

There was a sharp, barely audible in take in breath by Mira. Shikadai glanced at her. Her arms were now wrapped around Beni, gripping the redette firmly against her form. Mira looked two shades paler and her eyes were laced with worry. Beni wasn't doing much better. She burrowed herself into the older girl, shielding herself away from the scene as her smaller body shook. Thankfully, Motoko had cried herself to sleep or else she would have made another scene. Shikadai reached over to grip Mira's shoulder, causing her to nod in thanks.

Obviously, Shikadai wasn't the only one to notice the girls' distress, though Mira hid it well. You could feel it though, their fear and worry with an undertone of betrayal. To them, this was the end. The guilt pouring from the adults was almost as palpable. In the two days, hell, had it only been two days? In the two days these kids had been here, it was like they've been here their entire lives. It was like they were family…

Actually, they were family now and that made the situation all the more soul crushing.

"I don't take orders from you, Sasuke." Aunt Ino sneered, turning herself to glare harshly at the boy she once fawned over. Even she had grown fond of the time-traveling quartet. "I'm not doing anything to this child," she pointed back at Taka, her stance widening slightly, "without either an order from the Hokage or permission from his guardian."

"He's hiding something." Sasuke reiterated causing her to roll her eyes.

"Maybe your years of soul searching and wandering made you forget but I'm actually a loyal shinobi." Ouch, low blow. "And so is Takashi Uzumaki. Naruto, do you want me to read him?"

"No, I believe him."

At the Hokage's order, the tension dissipated from the room. Under his hand, Mira relaxed and Beni looked up in joy. She removed herself from Mira only to soar across the room. Catching the Hokage by surprise, Beni jumped up into his arms and squeezed his neck.

"Thank you! Thank you! Thank you!" She squealed, kissed his cheek before dropping down and doing the same thing to Aunt Ino. Aunt Ino laughed and kept the girl on her hip, turning to face the room.

"Now, can we please enjoy our meal?"

Dinner was definitely better now that the air had clearly. Everyone was chatting and laughing as the adults spun their stories about the good old days.

"-Poor Ayame, she must have gained at least 40 pounds just by eating the Ninja Chefs' food." Sakura commented as her, Uncle Choji and Uncle Naruto recounted the time they had to save the ramen girl. Now that the group was relaxing, Uncle Naruto could finally stop acting like a Hokage and relax with his friends and family.

Everyone were seated in clusters by families. The Yamanakas sat at the head, with Aunt Ino leading the feasting. Next to them were the Akimichis and the Naras, completing the Ino-Shika-Cho trio. Next were the Uchihas and the Lees, which a disaster waiting to happen. Lastly, were the Uzumakis, and their guests, Taka, Beni, Lord Sixth and Mirai. Uncle Naruto sat directly across from Aunt Ino, as a way to respect his position while being in the sacred Yamanaka compound.

"You guys have some wild stories." Mira commented from her seat across from Shikadai. She was seated next to his Dad so that when Motoko wakes up, if she ever woke up, Mira could get her plate ready. Across from Dad was Mom, who looked odd. She appeared upset but seemed to be forcing it down, faking her smile. And Dad was ignoring her, focusing his attention only on his food, the stories and not waking Motoko sooner than necessary.

Sans Motoko, this scene was nothing new in Shikadai's house. When it first happened four, nearly five, years ago, Shikadai didn't know what to do or what had caused the overwhelming silence. The first year was the worst. There were days where Mom would screech at Dad over the table, for doing as little as asking her to pass the pepper. Or there were the days were neither spoke, neither ate and Shikadai couldn't stomach the food before him. And then, there were the fights that occurred when they sent him to bed. He never could understand the words that were exchanged but most nights, Dad left the house, slamming the door as he left so that he could crash at Grandma Yoshino, Aunt Ino, or Uncle Choji's. And Mom would slam the bedroom door and act like nothing happened in the morning. It had gotten better as Shikadai got older. All of his troublesome behavior at the academy distracted his parents from their turmoil and made them almost normal.

But since that night when Motoko stared down his mother, Mom has had this vendetta against the girls, especially Motoko. Mom would flinch and look pained whenever she glanced at Dad cradling the harmless, sleepy child or if Mira challenged Dad to a game of shogi. They had triggered this behavior in his mother.

Yet, Shikadai couldn't find it in himself to blame them. The years of unresolved strain on his parents' marriage needed at catalyst, either to save it or raze it. Who was he to blame two lost girls who had nothing but the clothes off their backs? They maybe the catalyst but they weren't the cause. There was no room his heart to hate them, because they were already his sisters.

"Tell us about your Konoha!" Hima's question shook Shikadai out of his thoughts. With the rest of the table, their eyes roamed until they landed on Taka, who the question was pointed to. Beni, who had been having an eating contest with Boruto, stopped abruptly, a piece of tuna falling out of her chopsticks. Across from him, Mira looked onto and nodded. Taka snorted, throwing his hands behind his head. There was a devilish smirk on his lips.

"I'm not a good story teller. Mira is." Taka stated, nodding his head to Mira. "She has the photographic memory, after all." Shit, really? What a drag…

"And I will remember this, jackass." Mira muttered under her breathe as the room's attention landed on her.

"Troublesome, where should I start? Well, our Konoha is extremely similar to this one. With all of the technology and what not. The most obvious difference is that our Hokage's a woman." Mira started, playing with her food as she spoke.

"Our Hokage is a wise woman. And she's beautiful. The Lady Hokage is married and has four children with her husband, who looks at her as if she's an angel on earth. Milady lost nearly all of her clan before she was born and had to fight tooth and nail to get where she is now. The best way to describe her is that she a warrior. The fools who dare to underestimate her ability, her drive, her strength is either dead at her feet or changed for the better. And yet, through all that she's been through, she's merciful. There are times I question what the village did to deserve her because frankly, we don't. She too good, too powerful, too saintly to be something as mundane as our Hokage. She's too good for us."

The silence was deafening. Through Mira's ambiguous yet enlightening words, all Shikadai could picture was paradox of a woman. A puzzle so contradictory that it seemed impossible to unravel. In her sentences, Mira spoke her love and devotion to this Lady Hokage, while saying nothing at all. Just who is this woman?... And why does it sound so damn familiar?!

A clap broke the silence. It was Beni who clapped, a smile spread across her face.

"Sounds about right!" Beni confirmed as her brother nodded in agreement. Even Motoko, who was suddenly wake, clapped softly.

"Well, would you look at who's awake?" Mira chided as Shikadai passed her the empty plate that was next to him. "What'll it be, Motoko? Rice and salmon?"

But the child shook her head and shielded her face against Dad's shoulder. Mira's face fell slightly. She continued to pile the plate and divided the fish into manageable pieces. She reached over, gently rubbing the child's back. The room was still watching them, analyzing the girls' every move.

"Come on, Momo. You've got to eat. Mom won't be happy if she found out that you were sleeping through dinner again." Mira tried to joke. Motoko tightened her grip against Dad. She was probably choking him now. But Dad took it in stride.

"I want to go home…" Motoko's soft voice cut through the room.

"I miss Mommy and Daddy. I miss our Konoha. I miss our house. I want Daddy." Perhaps it was the fact that Motoko barely spoke but just her opening her tiny mouth silenced the entire room. The adults exchanged glances, the girl's soft whimper tugging at their heartstrings. Well, expect Sasuke but he was a hard-ass, deadbeat dad so who cared about what he thought? Shikadai certainly didn't.

"I'll get us home, Motoko, no matter what." Taka promised. Mira nodded in agreement.

"Yeah, don't you worry! Taka and Mira are on the case!" Mira stated with a smile, poking her little sister, causing Motoko to look at her. In an un-Nara like move, Mira gave her sister a thumb up and winked. Where have I seen that before?

"We'll be home before you know it! We don't make promises we can't keep, right Taka?"

"Well, there was the one time- ow!" Mira had chunked her chopsticks at him. But that got Motoko to chuckle.

"See, Taka's being a goofball again. Who knows what else he'll do if we keep him here for too long?" Mira teased at the boy's expanse. Taka took it in stride because Motoko was happy again, and that was all that mattered. "Now, will you please eat something?"

Her sister's plea, Motoko sat up in Dad's arms and stared at him. Dad sighed, before using his free arm to grab Motoko's plate and chopsticks. Now ecstatic, Motoko maneuvered herself so that she was in his lap, scarfing down the plate in lightening speed.

Blink, blink.

"More please!" How can someone so small eat that much food so quickly?

"And she's back!" Beni cheered. Mira ticked, flicking her sister's forehead.

"Motoko, don't forget your manners. You didn't thank Lady Yamanaka for the food." Mira scolded. Motoko blinked before shifting towards the head of the table where Aunt Ino sat. Motoko bowed her head as deeply as she could from her seat.

"Please for- for- Mira?"

"Forgive."

"Please forgive me, Lady Yamanaka. Thank you for the meal." Motoko apologized causing Aunt Ino to laugh and wave her hand.

"You guys are all so polite. Take notes, Inojin." Inojin groaned 'Mom…' but that didn't stop her. "You're welcome, sweetheart. Eat as much as you want. There's plenty to go around."

Dinner had finished without anymore hitches and soon Shikadai was laying his bed, ready to fall asleep. Belly full and warm, clean sheets, man, this is the life.

"What the hell do you think you're doing?" His mother's whisper rang through the quiet compound. From the shadows creaking from under his door, his parents stood before his door in the hallway.

"Not now, Temari-" Dad tried to walk away, but Mom's voice stopped him.

"Not now, ok, then when? Or are you going to ignore the fucking elephant in the room? Like you always do? Like the coward that your father said you were?" Her voice was getting progressively louder with each question.

Shikadai should get up. He should be running from his bed. He should be wrenching his door open and screaming at them to stop fighting, because it hurt, it fucking hurt when they were fighting like this. When his mother's fury made her spill whatever vile bile she kept hidden, not caring who she hurt because she was hurt first and she was too hurt to care. When his father avoided the situation, not because he was a coward but because he was at a loss for words and nothing he could think of in his genius brain could make the situation better. Shikadai did nothing though. He just sat and listened as his mother continued.

"I've never felt so unwelcomed in my own goddamn home! I can feel it; their condescending looks that say that I shouldn't be the Lady Nara! How dare I be the Lady Nara?! How dare I be your wife?!"

"They are-"

"I want them out." Mom had hissed that line out but Dad's reaction was immediate. His fist slammed against the hallway wall, causing Shikadai's room to tremble.

"No." His voice was as clear as it was unwavering. The shadows that lite Shikadai's room showed Mom turning away from Dad, her shoulders shaking. She hissed her last words as she walked away to their bedroom.

"They can't replace it and you know it."

Shikadai laid in his bed and waited. He waited for his mother to slam the master bedroom door. He waited for Dad to unfreeze himself after what felt like hours of him not moving. Dad didn't bother using the front door. He found the nearest window, opened it and was gone. He was gone.

"I'm sorry." Shikadai shot up in his bed to stare at Mira, who had appeared from the shadowy corner in his bedroom. She had used the shadows to travel between their rooms. The fact that she could do that was amazing but Shikadai barely focused on that.

All of his attention was focused on the girl before him. She looked like she had rolled out of bed, her usually neat hair impersonating a bird's nest. Her eyes were pointed towards the floor, as if she was ashamed of herself. She shifted her weight from foot to foot before looking back at him. Then, she bowed deeply.

"I'm so sorry, Dai. For causing you and your parents so much trouble. Motoko and I won't bother you guys anymore. I'll start packing in the morning and we'll be-"

"Mira, stop!" Shikadai nearly shouted, stopping her ramblings.

"Neither of you are going anywhere." Shikadai ordered, reaching out to grip the girl's shaking shoulders.

"But we-"

"Whatever that was has been happening for years. You too have nothing to be sorry for. Besides," Shikadai paused, smiling at her. "You guys are troublesome girls but you're our troublesome girls."

Mira stared at him, her blue eyes locking with his teal ones. They fell back onto his bed as she tackled hugged him. If this was any other girl, he would have been blushing fiercely at their situation. Inside, he clutched her just as tightly as she did him, leaning against each other as their emotions swarmed them. They cried into each other, Mira releasing her stress and he doing the same thing. After the crying feast, they separated and wished each other good night.

Man, they're troublesome. But, they're worth it. Every last bit.

Then a thought struck him. Eyes widen open, Shikadai sat up in a cold sweat. He shifted so that he was staring at the wall that divided his room from the girls.

If Taka and Beni are Himawari's children, could Mira and Motoko be… my children?

Meanwhile: in Konoha 2.0

Naruto

Over with the right strand, grab a piece of hair, lay it over the middle strand. Over with the left strand, grab another piece of hair, lay it over the middle strand. Repeat the process. Aw fuck it. Racking her fingers through her hair, Naruto undid the awful braid. Guess tonight was a hair down type of night.

Her hands were stilling shaking slightly as Naruto continued to comb her blonde hair. Must be the nerves, a jacked-up concoction of overwhelming worry and adrenaline. The house was so quiet that it was smothering her. The only noise in the house was Shikamaru as he took his nightly shower. Yoshino and Granny had left, with the promise that they'll be back in the morning to prepare everything. The two women had been her rock through the entirety of Naruto's teenage life and these past two days, they were god sends. But tomorrow, this will all be over and she will be cradling her children in her arms or else it will get ugly.

Shikamaru had cranked the code and it had taken every ounce of their will power not to run head first and recreate Takashi's amazing stupid seal. In fact, she was ready to do just that when Shikamaru stopped and talked some sense into her (sometimes his Talk no Jutsu skills were better than her own, specially when he used his stupid, genius logic). They would be no good to their kids sleep-deprived and underprepared. And, as horrifying as the thought was, they need to be at their best in case- she flinched, in case they had to completely eradicate whoever harmed their babies. (Those people better pray that not a single hair is missing from any of her children or she will have absolutely no problem going ultra Kurama, Sage, Kick-ass Kunoichi mode!)

Dimension hopping. Only her children could successfully create a way to travel through dimensions. Perhaps this was payback for some of the shit that she did earlier in her life (none of which was her fault, thank you very much, she just happened to be at the wrong place and the wrong time- Stop rolling your eyes, Shikamaru!) Really though, only her children could do this, which is why they are grounded for the rest of their life.

A little harsh, don't you think? Kurama asked, dragging her in for a conversation.

You're right, Benihime and Motoko have nothing to do with this. The twins are so grounded! She agreed as the beast snorted.

I told you this would happen. Here he goes again. What were you going to expect mating with a boy who had an IQ over 200 and played with shadows?

Good sex?

Besides the obvious, you were either going to have weak offspring or mini-powerhouses who might actually succeed in taking over the world just for shits and giggles. Or two worlds, it seems.

Ha ha, very funny. Your belief in them is astonishing.

What's truly astonishing is that you know what that word means. She rolled her eyes at him and flipped him off before exiting her mindscape.

Standing, Naruto moved from her vanity to the bed before flopping into the pillows. Ugh, Kurama was being annoying again. At least, the stupid fur-ball was just as worried about the kids as she was. Even if he would never admit that he was actually a big softy for little kids. God, she was tired. And her nerves were shot. Was this what she made Shikaku and Yoshino feel whenever she dragged Shikamaru into her adventures? Great, now she felt worried and guilty.

"What's with that face?" Her husband's baritone voice rang out as he exited their bathroom. She kept her eyes to the ceiling, before throwing her arm over them and groaning,

"I owe your mother an apology… and some flowers. Is this what she felt whenever you and I did something stupid?"

"Yes, but usually we ended up saving the world so we kind of made up for it."

"Honestly, that doesn't make me feel better." Naruto stated as she sat up. And while normally she would take the time to appreciate his body, he had an amazing ass and his abs (yum), they were too exhausted and worried to do anything naughty. Which was a damn shame because they haven't had a free night in what, two months. Stupid Chunin Exams and alien invaders. Oh well, they had been creative. There was reason that their offices had sofas. And desks. And the floors… No wonder they had four kids.

"Well, we've figured out the seal so we'll be tucking them in tomorrow." Shikamaru commented as he pulled up his pajama bottoms. He had a pajama shirt, key word being had. She may have stolen it. Eh, it not like he ever wore it anyway.

"After we chew them out?"

"Of course." He agreed immediately, pulling back the sheets and climbing in. Then he reached over to the bedside table, pulling out one of his reports.

"I thought we agreed not to bring work to bed."

"We also said we wouldn't bring bed to work and that went so well." Shikamaru said sarcastically, causing her to flush. It wasn't her fault that she goes through heat… stupid fur-ball.

"Besides, I thought you would want to read this one." He passed the paper over. "Apparently, the twins had applied to do a test-run for the Jonin Exams earlier this week."

"What?" She asked, snatching the paper from him. "They haven't passed all of the qualifications. And Takashi's too lazy to put in the effort to take a test early."

"But his twin isn't." Shikamaru pointed out as she continued to scan the papers. "Normally Kiba and I would have green-lighted their request but given everything's that happened-"

"Denied until their probation is over." Naruto stated firmly, before she paused to amend it. "Or until I say so. Whichever comes first."

Her husband snorted as she tossed the paperwork away from the bed. They'll clean it up later. She reached up to comb her fingers through his slightly wet hair (it was sexy when he had his hair down) before laying against him, trying to get comfortable. His arm wrapped itself around her tiny waist before he leaned down to peck her forehead.

"You're not going to sleep, are you?" Shikamaru asked, causing her to give him a guilty smile. "Tch, Troublesome Wife."

"Lazy Husband." She answered back. "Like you've slept at all."

He stayed silent as she reached over to shut off the lights.

"I love you." Naruto whispered as she hovered over Shikamaru. In the darkness, his eyes seemed to glow. They softened before he kissed her gently.

"I love you too. Get some sleep." As their bedroom pitched into darkness and silence, Naruto tried to sleep. She was almost there when-

"LADY HOKAGE! WE HAVE RETURNED FROM SUNA AT A MOST YOUTHFUL PACE WITH- EH, OH, OW!" Thunk, thunk!

Lee was founded pinned to the wall across from their bed by her kunai and Shikamaru's trench knife as Shikamaru flicked on the light switch. With his entire Suna Mission squad, in her bedroom. Now, being the Hokage and before that, the wife of the Jonin Commander, she was used to people showing up at her house (and bedroom) unannounced. It came with the job. With it, came a rule which was-

"Lee, someone better be dying." Yep, there it was.

"It appears that we've interrupted something, Washboard."

"Really, Sai, what gave it away?" Naruto replied sarcastically as she sat up. It was a good thing she actually wore her nightgown. Though, it wouldn't be the first time someone's seen her looking less than decent. At least Hinata had the decency to blush. Not that she could ever stay mad at Hinata.

"Hn." Which translated from Uchihaniese into 'Nice outfit, Dobe.'

"Bastard, I don't have the patience to deal with your assholeness right now."

"What do you guys want?" Shikamaru complained, throwing himself back into the pillows. "We were actually sleeping. For the first time in two days."

"Uh, I'm sorry Naruto, Shikamaru. We just wanted to let you guys know that the villages couldn't find the kids anywhere but they're going to keep looking." Ten-Ten apologized.

"That's why we called you guys back. We already know that." Shikamaru said slowly. Naruto could feel a tick mark forming. The group before them blinked.

"Oh…" They all said.

"Alright, everyone, out of my bedroom! I want you all here at 800 hours for your full report and next time, read the entire damn summons! I told you guys to report back in the morning!" Naruto ordered.

"It is the morning." Not the point, Shino.

"Get out…" Shikamaru and Naruto ordered, the annoyance laced in their tone. Thankfully, Hinata got the message. She bowed deeply, before getting Lee off of the wall.

"We're sorry, guys. Have a good night." Hinata said and with that, the group left in hurry.

"What are we going to do with them?"

"Stick them at the Academy for two weeks?"

"Seems like an abuse of power."

"That's never stopped us before."

"True, let's do it!"

"Troublesome Wife."

"Lazy Husband." She kissed him before tucking back against him and falling into a restless sleep.

The early morning training was as heartbreaking as it was nostalgic. It reminded Naruto of the first time she learned about the Naras super-secret training. That had been a weird day.

She was around eleven. Earlier that day, some civilian drunkards had thought that trashing her apartment while she wasn't there was a brilliant idea in their tiny, pea sized waste of shape they called brains. It wasn't the first time that it happened, but it had been the first time Shikamaru had seen some of the truly sad details about her life at the time (mainly because she did her absolute best to hide it from him).

The pair had been friends since the day she switched into their class, when she had left a whoopy cushion on Iruka-Sensei's chair. This triggered a cream pie to fall on him, once again proving that classic pranks were honestly the best. Of course, she was sent to wait in the hallway. After five minutes of utter boredom, Shikamaru had been sent out to join her because 'If you like to sleep so much, do it where we can't hear you snore!' And to Iruka-Sensei's absolute horror when she, his honorary little sister, confessed to him that they (Shikamaru and her) had been dating for nearly a year (probably more than that actually), and she couldn't tell him because of the Akatsuki and the war, and oh yeah, they got married during the war (oops). Anyway, Iruka-Sensei was the reason they were friends to begin with.

Later on, Shikamaru confessed to her that in the beginning, the main reason he hung out with her was because she was an enigma that he wanted to figure out. That reasoning lasted for a week until he realized that he actually enjoyed her presence and wanted to be her friend. The rest as they say, is history.

Back to the training. Shikamaru had insisted on walking her home that day from the academy. Something about her being a troublesome danger magnet and that it was a drag but someone needed to make sure she got home in one piece. Doesn't he have a way with words? Anyway, they had arrived at her apartment and when Naruto pushed her key into the lock, the door swung open.

"What the?" Shikamaru questioned as she froze. Before she could stop him, he pushed the door open all of the way and entered the little apartment. Graffiti covered the walls that she had just cleaned earlier that week. The words 'bitch' and 'demon' littered the scene. Her few plates were smashed to pieces and her fridge had been raid. Left over bottles of alcohol covered every inch of her floor. Her windowsill garden, which she had worked very hard on, thank you very much, was uprooted, the soil dirtying her floor. She didn't want to see they did to her bedroom, especially with the smell of urine that was coming from said room. Looks like she'll be sleeping on the floor again.

"Um," Naruto started, rubbing the back of her neck as she approached her friend. He was still inspecting the apartment and barely acknowledged her.

"Well, it looks like I need to go grocery shopping again. And I better start cleaning. I hope they didn't get my clothes again. It sucks having to wear the same underwear for a few weeks. Thanks for walking me home, Shikamaru. Shikamaru?" She was rambling nervously again, trying to stay positive. On the bright side, at least she wasn't here when they did it this time. But now that Shikamaru saw how people really, like really, hated her, he wasn't going to be her friend anymore, and he would leave and she couldn't blame him because why would he be friends with a demon like-

But then, Shikamaru turned to face her. She had never seen such a furious expression on her lazy friend before now. Normally, he faked his annoyance and anger, mainly because he liked ticking people off and was too lazy to actually get angry. But this, this was pure, unadulterated anger.

"Shika-" She called out again, only to have him gently but firmly grabbed her wrist and dragged her out of the ruined place. He didn't speak or let go, no matter how many times she tried talking to him or shaking him off. Eventually, she gave up and let him drag her. After a while, she noticed that they were headed to the clan compounds of the Akimichis, Yamanakas and Naras. They arrived at his house with him slamming the door open. Yoshino whipped her head out of the kitchen while Shikaku looked up from his game of shogi. Shikamaru didn't even let her take off her shoes as they entered the living room.

"Shikamaru?" Yoshino asked in shock. She too was shocked by the apparent emotions that adorned her son's face. Shikaku had his thinking warrior look on, his eyes glancing between the two children before him.

"Mom, Dad, Naruto's going to be staying with us." Naruto whipped her head around to give a look that can only be described as 'Huh?' Shikamaru ignored her confused expression, releasing the grip on her wrist so that he could hold her hand instead. Now, if she was a normal ten-year-old, her reaction to a boy holding her hand should have been 'ew, cooties.' But, Naruto craved touch and squeezed his hand back just as tightly. Besides, it was Shikamaru. Yoshino and Shikaku shared a worried look before Shikaku asked his son,

"What happened?"

Now, the Naras knew how unpopular she was in the villages and even before she became Shikamaru's friend, the lazy clan had always treated her well. Shikaku frequently badgered her ANBU team to make sure that they actually did their job, especially if Big Brother Dog wasn't there. Nara shinobi and kunoichi were often the ones that broke up the angry mobs or at least froze them until she could escape. Thus, there was no way in hell she was going to mooch off of them any more than she already did.

"It's nothing, really!" She tried to explain, faking a smile. "Someone broke into my apartment is all. I just have to clean it up! No need to-"

"They completely ransacked it." Shikamaru cut her off, the iciness in his tone telling his parents just how serious he was. "It isn't safe. She's staying here."

And that is how the guest room next to Shikamaru's room became her bedroom. Shikaku had gone to check the apartment, took one look, and stormed the Hokage's office. Gramps immediately agreed to her new living arrangements, which pissed the civilian council off to no end (you know you're doing something right when you're pissing off the civilian council).

How does this tie into the first time she participated in the traditional early morning training? Well, it was hard to sleep when Yoshino decides to throw her giant shuriken at Shikaku during their spar. He dodged, but sadly, her window couldn't.

"Ep!" She screeched as glass shattered and the shuriken got imbedded into the back of the door. Well, that's one way to wake up. At 4:00 in the morning. The family swarmed her in a matter of seconds.

"Ah, Naruto! Are you ok? Did the glass hit you? Let me see!" Yoshino panicked as she inspected Naruto, making the girl feel like a ragdoll with all of the matriarch's pulling. The male Naras were doing what they did best; muttering troublesome under their breath.

"Look at what you did, Shikaku! We lost another window!" Yoshino scolded, turning to wag her finger at her husband.

"What did you want me to do? Get hit?" Shikaku muttered, which Yoshino heard, naturally. She got that really scary glow around her again and her frying pan was in her hand.

"I mean, yes, dear, I'm sorry." He stuttered through quickly, trying to appease his wife.

"Whipped." Shikamaru coughed, earning him a smack on the head from his dad.

"Um, why are you guys up at 4:00 in the morning?" Naruto asked, causing the family of three to blink, remembering that she was there too.

"Um, are we allowed to tell her?" Shikamaru asked, looking up at his dad.

"Well-"

"Shikaku, I have an idea!" Yoshino exclaimed before leaning up to whisper into his ear. The kids shared a confused look before they continued to watch the parents' hushed conversation. Shikaku nodded a few times. He mouthed 'Really?' glancing back at the kids before listening to his wife's whisper. When Yoshino eventually stopped, he spoke for the kids to hear,

"I'll handle it in a few hours. Well, Naruto, you are one of the few non-Naras to know this so you can't actually tell anyone. We," he waved to his family, "were training."

"…You three were training?"

"Yes."

"At 4:00 in the morning?"

"We started at 3:30, actually."

"Even him?" She questioned, pointing to her lazy friend. "Mr. I'm Going to Sleep Through Practice Spars and Kunai Throwing?" The parents snorted in laughter.

"Why do you think I sleep through school?" Shikamaru stated. "I've already learned all that stuff and daily training at 3:30 every morning is exhausting. Iruka-Sensei's droning on and on about chakra theory is the perfect time for a nap."

Ok then…

"But why so early?" Naruto asked.

"Believe me, I asked the same question." Yoshino stated, giving her a weird wink, like she knew something that Naruto didn't.

"Our clan specializes in a jutsu that manipulates shadows and darkness. What better time to do that than when the shadows are most prominent?" Shikaku explained and while Naruto didn't understand all of the words that he used, her vocabular still sucked, but she got the main point.

"And you're going to join us!" Yoshino chirped cheerfully, causing the kids to blink at her.

"Eh?!" They asked.

"But I thought the stupid council said that you guys couldn't help her with her training?" Shikamaru remembered. That whole shit show had happened when she was ten, but that was for later.

"Correct, we, the adults, can't directly help her. But if Naruto just so happened to be there for our early morning training and we're fixing your mistakes, well, can they really blame us for Naruto being bright? Besides, you can help her all you want." Shikaku explained with a wicked smirk. His son mirrored him perfectly before turning to her.

"Get dressed, we've got work to do. Starting with your taijutsu."

"Hey, it's not that bad."

"You look like a drunk brawler. Come on, we're going to fix it. Troublesome Girl."

"Lazy Boy!"

"You're distracted again." Shikamaru commented as the edge of his trench knife grazed her cheek. She jumped away, wiping the blood away, revealing a perfectly healed cheek.

"Sorry, lost in memories." She stated, as she high-jumped, her leg extended for a drop-kick. He blocked her this time, but the ground still cratered beneath them. They broke apart, before the timer rang out. Shikamaru sighed with relief before collapsing against the bench, glopping down some water. He passed it to her before asking,

"What were they about?"

"The morning I first started training with you guys."

"Ah, good times. I could actually beat you in a spar back then."

"Don't sell yourself short. You're still way smarter than me."

"Well, someone has to be the smart one."

"Hey!"

"Kidding, troublesome woman." Shikamaru said before groaning, "Why do I have a feeling that the kids are fine but have done something to mess up life as we all know it?"

"Because they have? Sorry, we'll blame it on my side this time. What does that make?"

"Nara: 285 to Uzumaki: 94 but the Uzumaki side is doubled because it's your family and none of you do anything half-assed."

"Damn right we don't." She commented before saying, "We should get ready, everyone's going to be here soon and I still need to decide if I should wear the cape."

"Wear it, it shows your status and intimidates people if we have to fight."

"You're right, good call. Let's go."

Author's Note - Well, was that a dozy of a chapter? And to think, I was going to add more to it. Eh, you guys will live. So, what do you guys think is wrong with Shikamaru and Temari? Side note, sorry to all of you guys who are rooting for Canon Naruto and Shikamaru to get together but that ain't happening. The Canon relationship will stand in Canon Universe. Also, here she is, Naruto 2.0! For not giving you guys too much background knowledge, I've clearly showed the difference between the two universe. And before people start bitching at me for saying that Naruto and Shikamaru 2.0 are too young to be married during the war, if they can kill at the age of twelve, they can get married. Besides, before going to WWII, a lot of young people got married before the husbands went off to fight. It's the same thing here, except both spouses are in the war. Also, this is a story, its not to be taken seriously. Well, what do you guys think? Review, favorite and follow. Love you guys! See you guys soon!

-V.I. Winthrop