Chapter seven.

Knowing that she couldn't physically hurt Jacob Black, Bella made it a point to just ignore him on the way out to her car. Waving at Paul she did her very best to maintain her calm. It didn't surprise her when Jake climbed into her car without asking if it was okay, it didn't surprise her when he ordered her to drive so they could talk. Bella took the key out of the ignition and glared at him, he might have been an alpha by right but that did not mean he could boss her around after he insulted her and humiliated her in front of his family.

"What the hell do you want Jacob?" His face reminded her a lot of the boy that used to be in love with her, under all her anger and embarrassment, was guilt. Taking a deep breath Bella turned her attention to the steering wheel, she could feel guilty later, right now she had the right to be angry with him and that's exactly what she was going to do. The silence was suffocating, and the heat pouring off him was steaming up her car, Bella opened her window and waited.

"Okay so you seem to think that I'm some insanely desperate woman who is stalking Paul or something, I'm not sure how it is you've come to this conclusion…" Jake was still watching her and his features morphed from sad to smug in seconds, god she wanted to smack that look off his face "…what the fuck Jake. Why would you think that about me?" He sighed impatiently and she was seriously considering driving into a tree, just to hurt him a tiny bit. Clearing his throat he began to explain.

"You married a fucking vampire Bella…" He looked over at her and shook his head at her like this somehow justified his actions, which she was sure was exactly what he thought, she didn't miss the flash of disappointment there either "…I don't know you anymore and you're always hanging out here with Paul." This was all pretty ridiculous and she didn't think it really explained anything, sure he was mad at her for that but why the hell did he all of a sudden take action now and not when she first arrived…it didn't make sense.

"So are you also accusing me of hitting on your father too? I mean I see more of him than I do anyone else, are you accusing me of trying to seduce your father Jake? How about Quil, I seen him last week. Oh and lets not forget Seth because I was married to a vampire that must make me a whore right?" Bella spat each word at him and watched him flinch, it wasn't as satisfying as it should have been and that made her angrier.

"I didn't say you were a whore and I didn't say you were desperate. I just see the way you look at each other and…" Bella interrupted him, what the hell was he even talking about? There were no looks between her and Paul, hardly ever so whatever it was that Jacob thought he was seeing must have been imagined. Of course she could sympathize with Paul on some level and she definitely understood that he had been through a lot more than she could ever comprehend but she really did understand him. It didn't make them friends, maybe just acquaintances, if that. Christ it had only been like 7 months since his wife/soul mate died.

"What are you talking about?" Still parked outside Billy's house, Jacob looked at her, his head tilted like he was trying to determine something and then his eyes widened, whatever it was he was looking for he didn't find. Bella rolled her eyes, this was becoming a bit much for one day.

"Fuck…its nothing. Forget it. I'm sorry Bells I didn't mean any of that, just forget about it." She glared at him. "You just accused me of trying to, to-I don't know fuck Paul. I'm not going to just forget about this Jacob." He shook his head before burying his face in his hands, oh now he wanted to be sorry?

"I am sorry." Even if she wanted to tell him to take his pathetic apology and shove it up his ass, she didn't. Nodding her head Bella stared straight ahead at the front of the house, she could see the curtain move, someone was watching.

"Fine. Get out now." Starting the car Bella waited until he shut the door before driving away, whatever the hell is problem was, he would have to get over it.

The next few days were dragging by painfully slow and Bella did everything she could to keep her mind off La Push and Jake's idiotic behaviour. Amanda called her to apologize for the both of them and Bella wasn't so sure about the woman anymore. She politely declined her invitation for a dinner, the last place she wanted to be was in a room with Jacob Black and all the people he humiliated her in front of…

"You look like shit." Leah said as she walked into the classroom. Thankfully there were no kids around but it still seemed wrong to be cursing with little desks scattered about the room. Seemed wrong on so many levels.

"I know." Bella couldn't even deny it, the truth was there staring back at her when she looked in the mirror every morning.

"Is this about what a jack ass Black is?" Leah asked while Bella pulled up one of the small chairs, they were just setting up for the day. Bella turned around to face her step sister and shook her head. It was only partly about Jake, everything else just felt like it was scattered, sure she could pick up the pieces but she just couldn't find the energy to do it anymore.

"Not entirely. Some of it has to do with Jake." Bella wanted to complain about her bills that were now piling up and things that were normal but those things seemed simple, considering everything else.

"So he thinks you're interested in Paul…" Leah was watching her, the same way everyone seemed to do when they mentioned him, it was beginning to make her uncomfortable. "…are you?" Bella's eyebrows nearly shot straight off the top of her head, Leah was very forward, to the point and she never tip toed around anything no matter how touchy the subject was. Shaking her head, in what she thought probably looked too frantic, Bella took a breath…

"No. I'm not interested in anyone." Leah's mouth turned up on one side, she was smirking at her.

"Oh my god, you like Paul…" Again, she shook her head with enough forced to strain her neck.

"No, I told you. I'm not interested in anyone right now, I mean it hasn't even been a year since the divorce and I just cant even…" Leah's shoulders shook, she was laughing at her. What could possibly be funny about this.

"What are you laughing at?" Leah finally took pity on her and gave her a gentle(for Leah)pat on the arm.

"You and Edward-" Bella didn't miss the way she tried not to spit his name out, it was all a part of the 'natural enemies' thing and she stopped noticing for the most part. "-were married, sure…but you weren't like a normal couple and I don't know if you think everyone's oblivious or something, maybe the rest of them are but I'm not that stupid…" She raised an eyebrow at Bella and she was really trying to follow along but none of this made any sense to her.

"Oh my god Bella. You're sexually frustrated I get it…Been there. Done that." she gave her a knowing look and Bella blushed. "I went for years without, after Sam and then had a little rebellious stage, you know when I went away to school…" Bella nodded, this wasn't as embarrassing as it was…strange.

"Anyway, I understand. I'm not going to judge you for your taste in men, Paul's a nice guy. It'll probably be a while though for him to…you know…" Bella's face was redder than the apple in the poster above her desk… "…to want to take that step with another woman, those imprint bonds are strong." Bella took a breath before she spoke.

"Leah…I'm not interested in Paul…or anyone." Leah snorted and rolled her eyes but gave her a nod.

"Alright then." They didn't finish their conversation as the bell rang and kids started to pour in one by one. There was one thing she had to focus on and that was her class, the one thing that kept her from having to over analyze Leah's questions and Jacobs accusations. It didn't stop her from thinking about it though.

Spring break was quickly approaching and Bella wasn't looking forward to having that time alone, to think. Family wasn't comforting either, Renee wanted to come and visit again, the first time had been a few days and this time she wanted to bring her boyfriend, since things were serious. Maybe that would act as a distraction from everything else.

Some of what Leah said to her stuck, the part about being sexually frustrated was true, everyone around her was getting laid but her. Maybe she needed to have fun, she remembered how that worked out last time, she didn't have the funds to get that drunk again, and it was probably better not to go sleep with strangers, or what she thought were strangers but ended up being people she knew from high school.

It had been months since she talked to Jake, she still went to see Billy, she still spent time over there and said a polite hello to him when she seen him but nothing more. It wasn't that she was mad at him still, she wasn't not really. It was just awkward. The rare occasion that she did end up stuffed in a room with him and Paul(which was rare, because she hardly ever seen Paul), he, along with everyone else would watch them and it made her uncomfortable and she was pretty sure it made Paul uncomfortable too, so she avoided seeing him at all. That also seemed to happen when she was around Sierra but she was someone Bella refused to avoid, whenever she asked her to come visit, Bella couldn't say no and the way everyone watched their interactions didn't bother her as much…weird.

Renee showed up with her new boyfriend and his grandson, which Bella found sort of nice. It was weird to watch the way her mother tended to the little boy, the way she glowed when he called her Nay-nay. It was also nice to have the presence of a child around, it made things comfortable, it was about the only way Bella could function anymore, with kids around. The talk came the second night, after Dylan the six year old boy, went to bed.

"I know you're doing alright baby, but maybe you'd be happier if you found someone, maybe you wouldn't be so…lonely." Bella wanted to snort and tell her mother she wasn't miserable and she really didn't feel lonely, not all the time anyway, she was actually happy. The world did not spin around her, or Edward or anyone in particular and knowing this made her happy. No matter what was going on in her life she was okay.

"I'm okay mom. I mean four years was a long time to be attached to someone and I'm only 23, there's still time, lots of it." Renee smiled at her and nodded. It was one of those things that people did, when they were so happily in love, they wanted everyone else to experience the complete bliss of being in love, that's exactly what her mother was doing.

"I know hunny I just want you to be happy." Bella fought the urge to tell her she was happy, it would probably sound forced and then she wouldn't believe her.

"Well, I'm glad you're happy. I mean John is a very nice guy and he really does seem to be perfect for you." Bella expected him to be some 'free-spirit' like her mom but he was actually very normal and he really reminded her of Charlie, she tried very hard not to think about it or say it out loud, she didn't think her mom would appreciate it.

"He is isn't he? And Dylan is just…" Renee sighed and smiled, Bella couldn't help but smile back. "I remember when you were that young baby, seems like just yesterday, and now look at you…all grown up, a teacher and you've got your own house…" she looked ready to cry and Bella got up to hug her. "…I don't know why I never thought of giving you siblings, seems sort of selfish doesn't it? Maybe you wouldn't have had to grow up so quickly." It was an odd thing for her mother to say, Bella never really thought about having brothers or sisters, not really. And she didn't want to mention to her mother that she probably would have had to grow up quickly no matter what, its who she was, that old soul with streaks of immaturity.

Renee and John along with his grandson were invited over to Charlie and Sue's for dinner. Bella tried not to stare between her dad and her moms new boyfriend but she couldn't help it. There were so many similarities and Leah was the one who caught her.

"Freaky huh?" Bella laughed and nodded, thankful she wasn't the only one to notice.

"Its so weird how she went from Charlie to Phil, back to…well…another version of Charlie." They didn't really look anything alike but they had very similar personalities and Bella honestly expected her mother to have ended up with some new-age healer or something, maybe a hemp shop owner, but John was a retired cop. He wasn't that old but he explained that he took an early retirement to help out his daughter, she was a single mom and obviously a bit of a sore subject that no one pushed on.

"Hey at least you know your mom's taken care of. If he's anything like your dad, he'll always be there for her and he's got a family, it's probably good for her to have some kids around…" Bella gave Leah a look, she wasn't sure what to say to that. Renee was her mother and she was a great mother, even if she did roll her eyes at some of her advice, her heart was always in the right place.

The goodbye's weren't sad because Renee assured her that they would be back, that she missed her and she would make the drive as often as Bella wanted the company, it made her feel better to know her mom hadn't completely forgotten about her…again.

June was Bella's rock bottom, school was out and she now had nothing to focus on and how long had she been falling? There she sat in her kitchen sipping a glass of wine alone, everyone she knew had someone else, hell, even Billy met someone and here she was alone.

Okay so it wasn't necessarily rock bottom, maybe it was just her tiny table she hit. There was nothing wrong with being single, that was her mantra. Something she told her self at her loneliest. God, she felt pathetic.

Bella got up and stopped feeling sorry for herself, okay she got up…the other part she was still working on.

There was a party at Leah and Embry's but she skipped out, the last place she wanted to be was surrounded by couples. Bella was going to PA, there would be lonely people there too, there had to be…

Thankful that Renee thought to buy her a 'date dress' Bella walked into a bar, it was packed with people and there was a live band, she was completely uncomfortable but she forced herself to stay. Finding a stool at the bar, she ordered the first of her four drink limit she had set for herself and waited.

Being the cautious woman she now was Bella made sure to cover her glass and watch her surroundings, as her father and Leah would tell her, you can't be too careful, especially with so many people. It was only after 9 when Bella ordered her second drink, she wasn't having any fun and she was starting to wish she had just gone to Leah's, at least she would have known someone there.

Looking at the line to the woman's washroom Bella sighed impatiently, she considered the alley for a moment and suddenly a memory of Edward saving her ass from those guys here all those years came back to her and her heart sped up, why did she come here of all places...alone?

A woman in front of her turned around to ask her if she was alright, Bella didn't realize she was having a panic attack until that moment.

Breathe.

A crowd started to gather they were all watching her and god, she really needed to breathe. When she finally pulled herself together Bella tried to give the woman and the crowd an apologetic smile.

"I always forget I'm allergic to wine after the first three drinks." Everyone seemed to buy this excuse and left her alone. As she left the bar she thought about how stupid a plan this was, she really wasn't in any shape to drive back and there wasn't any way to get back home without forking out a lot of money for a cab. Bella pulled out her cell and called her dad, he didn't answer and neither did Sue she decided to call Leah who promised she'd send Seth, or someone…

The sound of a car honking snapped her out of her daze, Bella slapped a bill down on the table, thanking the waitress on her way out of the diner. A knot the size of a bowling ball formed in her stomach then she looked at her ride home…Paul. She quietly cursed Leah.

"Sorry I'm not sure what I was thinking coming all the way over here."she climbed in the car and buckled herself up. Paul shrugged his shoulders before pulling out of the tiny lot attached to the small diner.

"I got nothing better to do, you're lucky that I stayed sober tonight…everyone else is pretty fucked up, even your dad and Sue." Paul chuckled to himself. Her dad was drunk? That was weird.

"Oh." Then she looked at him, and wished she hadn't. All that time avoiding him only made her think about him more and it was not okay, especially after she had a couple drinks.

"You alright, you look like you've seen a ghost…maybe a leech…did you see a leech?" He had started off joking but suddenly turned serious, Bella shook her head.

"Oh no, I guess maybe I should have eaten something more before drinking, it's just making me all…woozy. Lightweight and whatever." He looked at her like he wasn't sure whether he should believe her or not.

If she was being honest it was sort of like seeing a ghost, a ghost of a 'leech' tonight, when she remembered that if Edward hadn't been a vampire who stalked her and read minds back then, on that particular evening in Port Angeles, she could have been someone very different, or maybe she wouldn't be anything at all…

Bella wondered where Sierra was but thought better of asking him, she wasn't sure he liked her knowing so much about his daughter. The drive was silent and very uncomfortable.

"Uhm I thought you would be dropping me off at home." Paul chuckled as they drove into La Push.

"Leah ordered me to drive you back here." Her mouth pulled down to a frown, she didn't want to seem or sound ungrateful but she was tired and really wanted to go home.

"Oh, okay. Are you staying too?" The hand that slapped her mouth shut was her own and she didn't mean to ask him anything especially if he was sticking around. His eyebrows seemed to knit together in confusion at her and then he nodded hesitantly.

"Sorry, I just, I don't want to be the only sober one or whatever here…" More like she didn't want to be the only one person who wasn't a part of a couple there, but she wasn't going to say that because it sounded fucked up, even in her head. Paul shrugged and got out of the car and she followed, she noticed that everyone was indeed drunk and she couldn't figure out how they managed it, didn't werewolves burn through alcohol quickly? Instead of asking she shrugged it off and she went to look for Leah after thanking Paul for the ride. Quil was standing close enough to crack a joke about riding Paul, she rolled her eyes and tried not to let that image settle...too late.

A/N: I went ahead and screwed myself with this time line but its been almost a year now since Rachel died and I'll make sure to make the next chapter Paul's POV, I told you this story was going to drag out a bit but not to worry I have plans for Paul and Bella and I'm not going to drag it much farther.

Thank you for reading :)