Disclaimer: I own nothing in this marvelous universe; it all belongs to C.S. Lewis.

Rating: T

Summary: What do you do when you've lived two lifetimes? What do you do when you fall in love with one life and can never go back? Or so you think...(Book and Moviebased)

"Speech"

/Personal Thoughts/

Nighttime Demons

By Sentimental Star

Chapter Seven: Guardian Angels

(The Following Morning, Edmund's P.O.V.)

Sleepy still, I step into the kitchen downstairs, rubbing at my eyes. The morning sunlight streams into the room and falls across the table where Dad and Lucy are sitting. It appears Lucy is finally allowed out of bed.

Peter is probably still in bed. Well, my bed, anyway…

I give a bleary smile in their general direction, before making my way over to the old-fashioned sink Mum's particularly fond of. She's standing near the more modern one, cooking breakfast.

I can smell it all the way over here: ham and eggs—yum!

Grasping the handle of the old, black iron pump, I pump it until the amount of water I need flows into the basin below its spout, eyeing it with a slight frown.

Before I can even attempt to convince myself to just get it over with, I abruptly find my head dunked under the flow.

It's freezing!

Sputtering, I jerk back…and hear someone laughing.

"Peter!" I splutter, grabbing the hand towel hanging over the sink and whipping it in his approximate direction.

I feel him jump aside, still laughing heartily.

Grumbling, I rub my face dry and raise my head to glare at him.

He has an enormous grin on his face and does not look at all repentant.

Groaning, I roll my eyes and whip my towel at him again. This time, I'm able to catch him on his side.

"Hey!" he laughs, dodging and grabbing another one nearby. He whips it at me, catching me on the shoulder.

I grin, and the fight is on. Whipping the towels back and forth, we dance around the kitchen, trying to avoid the random chair and occasional sibling or parent.

In the background, I hear Lucy's clear laughter ringing through the air. In front of me, Peter's smiling so widely I'm surprised his face isn't split in half. I know mine feels like it ought to be.

Finally, breathless and laughing, we tumble into our chairs at the table a few minutes later. When we look up, Mum's standing with her back to the stove, hands on her hips and spatula in hand, looking at us in amused disbelief. There's a smile on her face when she half-scolds, "Honestly, are you five or fifteen?"

I grin at her and jerk my thumb at Peter beside me. "He's neither."

Actually, he's currently laughing too hard to answer.

I roll my eyes and lightly fling the hand towel at him.

He finally stops, although a wide smile still carves his face. Collecting the two swaths of fabric, he stands to his feet and heads over to the sink to wash his face and hands.

I smirk at his back a moment before turning back to Mum. It is good to hear him laughing again.

Mum just shakes her head at me, and smiling, returns to her cooking. She's humming.

Lu's eyes are dancing when I look at her, and I can tell she's thoroughly amused. I quirk another grin at her. "It's his fault."

She starts laughing again.

Dad, however, doesn't. Curious, and slightly apprehensive, I glance at him. "Dad?"

He smiles faintly at me, and I can just make out the hurt that flickers in his eyes.

Memories from last night surge to the front of my mind and I'm obliged to stand; I make my way over to Dad.

Leaning down, I put my arms around his shoulders and hug him.

He starts briefly, but then reaches up to clasp my arms.

When I pull back a few seconds later, I'm pleased to see that he has a full, genuine smile on his face. Looking up at me, he whispers, "Thank you."

With a slight blush, I nod wordlessly.

Mum smiles from where she's filling our plates and gives an approving nod of her own, before resuming her low humming.

When I face the table again, it's to find that Peter has returned and Lucy's wearing a pout. I raise an eyebrow at her, smiling a bit, "Yes?"

She continues pouting, although the look in her eyes is playful. "Aren't you going to hug me, too?" The pout turns to a grin. "Since you're being affectionate and all…"

I laugh and, making my way over to her, willingly oblige.

She's still grinning, long after I reach my chair next to Peter's.

He's also smiling at me, and I cross my arms over my chest, but do not move to sit down. I watch him thoughtfully. "I suppose you're wanting a hug, too."

He shrugs. "Eh, up to you." His smile threatens to widen.

Shaking my head, I decide to do something that will probably shock him. Stooping slightly, I gently grab the back of his head and swiftly press a kiss to his forehead.

He starts and snaps his head back to stare up at me, wide-eyed.

I quickly release him and sit, feeling my face heat up. Out of the corner of my mouth I mutter, "That's for last night."

He doesn't say anything, but the look on his face is good enough for me.

IOIOIOIOIOI

Mum brings it up over breakfast, when all five of us are sitting down and eating. Somewhat. "What would you think of a change of scenery?" she's directed the question at me, but I get the impression she wants Peter's and Lucy's input, as well.

I gaze at her curiously. "What did you have in mind, Mum?"

She shares a smile with Dad before turning back to the three of us, "The seaside."

Three identical grins spread across our faces.

"That'd be fantastic, Mum!" Peter exclaims.

Lucy's practically bouncing in her seat with excitement. "That would be wonderful! We haven't been there in so long!"

She shoots a big grin at me and Peter, and I know she isn't just talking about the London seaside. Cair Paravel had one, too.

Mum and Dad are looking at me, waiting for my verdict. I'm still grinning. "Do you think I'd say no?"

They laugh. "All right, then," Mum says with a smile of her own. "But you'd better start packing after breakfast, we're leaving tomorrow morning."

Peter, Lu, and I exchange smiles before bending over our food and starting to eat in earnest.

IOIOIOIOIOI

(One o'clock That Same Afternoon)

I sigh and lean my head and upper back against one of the taller trees in the garden, my hands in my pockets where I sit on the ground, trying to ignore the dull throb in my ankle. That mock-battle in the kitchen earlier really hadn't been the best idea. While the sprain is mostly healed, it still isn't completely gone, and I'm paying for it now. Although really, I don't mind too much. It had been worth it, to see Peter laughing like that.

I cast a momentary smile toward the center of the garden where I hear Lu and Peter laughing about one funny incident or another. We finished packing for the trip to the seaside within hours of finishing breakfast and apparently, it did nothing to dampen his mood. It's still as cheerful as it was this morning, if not more.

I shake my head, smiling, and look back up at the green leaves overhead.

It's June, and the weather is warm and sunny. The light filters in through the leaves to create moving patterns on the ground.

It's beautiful.

I ought to tell Mum that; she's put a lot of effort into the garden over the past few years. And maybe I ought to drag Dad out here to play some cricket one of these days, like we used to.

It might make them feel better, at least. I know I hurt both of them last night by the way I acted.

I sigh again and lean my forehead against my knees where my arms are resting, remembering the look on Dad's face at breakfast this morning.

I honestly did not mean to hurt them, but it just turned out that way. For as long as I can remember, Peter's been there for me—even when I didn't want him to be. Whether it was ghosts or nightmares or injuries, he always managed to make everything better. It's only since Narnia that I've included the girls in that category, as well.

And Peter is still the one who has the most success. Although Lucy comes in a close second. Susan used to be very good at it, too, when Peter and Lucy couldn't be there or I refused to bother them—generally the second night after an injury or a nightmare when I insisted they go to their own rooms. Susan would stay with me, then, and sit in a chair pulled up to my bedside. Sometimes she would even sing.

I feel another smile tug at my lips. Inevitably, I would wake up the next morning to find not only Susan asleep in her chair, but Peter and Lucy sprawled out around my room as well.

Mum never could quite stop laughing when she found us that way in the morning.

My smile slips. Susan rarely does that anymore, because she's hardly ever home. And in some ways, that hurts more than Peter going off to the university. At least he comes home whenever he can, and writes when he can't.

"You all right, Ed?"

I start slightly and quickly raise my head, in enough time to see Peter settle next to me on the ground under the shade of the tree.

And I have to smile, his presence already relaxing me. It is so good to have him home. "Fine, Peter," I admit truthfully enough. "Where's Lu?"

Peter grins. "Mum called her in a moment ago. She wants her to rest a little bit more. I can only imagine how well that will work."

I laugh. We both know very well just how difficult it is to make her stay in bed. She's just as bad as Peter when it comes to injuries and illness. 'Course, he says the same thing about me.

"Think we should go in, then, just to make sure?" I ask, still smiling.

He leans against the tree's trunk beside me, folding his arms behind his head, and quirks a sidelong grin in my direction. "Nah, let Mum and Dad handle it for now." He turns serious, and the grin fades, leaving him looking slightly troubled. "They need it," he adds softly, almost as an after-thought.

I rest my head on my arms, watching him. "I didn't mean to hurt them like that," I whisper.

He looks at me and smiles a bit. "I know, Eddy."

I frown at him for the childhood nickname, but don't say anything further. He's well aware of my thoughts on the matter. What I don't tell him is that he's the only one who can get away with calling me that. Not even Lucy or Dad use it anymore.

Peter just chuckles and soon enough, I'm grinning again, too. Even when he stops laughing, I keep smiling.

He gives me a confused look for that. "What?"

I shake my head at him, still smiling. "It's good to have you home. I missed you. I know Lucy did as well."

He grunts good-naturedly, freeing up one his arms to put it around my shoulders. He's wearing one of those brilliant smiles of his as he rests his chin lightly on my shoulder. "I'll tell you a secret, Ed…" he whispers, "I missed you and Lu, too. Not to mention Susan."

I sigh. "Silly as it sounds, Peter, I miss Su as well. We barely see her anymore—she's always out at one party or another."

His smile saddens as he shifts to sit upright again. "Not here right now, is she?"

I shake my head. "At a friend's house, spending the night. She's not due back 'til this evening. Sometimes I think she wants nothing to do with us anymore."

Peter shakes his head this time. "That's not true, Ed, and you know it. She still cares about you and Lu as much as she always has. 'Course," he gives a faint smile, "she's more concerned at this point about you finding a proper girl and whether Lucy is old enough to start attending social gatherings."

I blanch. "Peter, I'm only fifteen! And Lu's just turned thirteen!"

He shrugs—somewhat uncomfortably.

My eyes narrow slightly. She didn't… "Wait, don't tell me…"

Another uncomfortable shrug. "She's just fussing, Ed."

"Yes, but Peter…marriage?" I burst out. "You're only eighteen—and Su's a year younger than you! Why on earth is she worrying about that now?"

His arm is at his side again, and he's running a hand through his hair. "You know Su's never had a head for schooling. Just her books."

I frown thoughtfully. No, she hasn't, even though she loves those books. Which is what confuses me. Susan's terribly smart, and she could do practically whatever she wanted if she only went to a university. But she isn't, and I don't understand why she would waste her time on parties and nylons and make-up.

"Su's not the same anymore, Peter," I sigh and then shake my head, changing the subject somewhat, "What did you reply?"

He gazes out across the garden, and I almost think he isn't going to answer, when he speaks up quietly, "That I'm not interested in it until after graduation. Yes, I've gone on a couple of casual dates. No, I don't have anyone I'm serious about, yet. No, I'm not sure I ever will find someone I'm serious about." He sighs and glances at me, "It's not easy, Ed. She'd have to know about Narnia, too, and as far as I know, aside from Susan, only Lu, Jill, and Aunt Polly have been there. All the chronicles agree with that."

Clearly, he has some issues with it. He almost looks…strained. And that's the last thing he needs.

I can only pat his shoulder. "Buck up. Try not to worry about it."

Peter laughs outright. "Whatever you say, Eddy."

I groan and lightly slap his shoulder. "Shut up, Peter. What's with the 'Eddy,' all of a sudden, anyway?" He's called me that twice already, which is more than I've heard it in the past six months.

I'm surprised when he sobers, and a little amused when I see his cheeks faintly color. "Last night," he manages, "why?"

Oh, bother. Bother, bother, bother. I know what he's looking for, but I'm dreadful with speeches and I don't know how to explain without confusing him further.

I glance at him, then promptly look away when I notice he's watching me, feeling my own cheeks heat up.

He's still waiting for an answer.

So I swallow and begin to speak, hoping it'll make sense, "I told you once in Narnia…that you weren't Dad. That you were my big brother. And in some ways, that meant more to me than having a parent ever could. And it's still true, Peter. Probably even more than it was then…" I glance at him, pushing my hair back and still blushing. My voice softens, "Dad's right, you know. I do love you something fierce. You've always been there, Peter. Both in Narnia and here. I mean no slight to Dad, and I do love him a great deal, but he doesn't understand. You do. And you're perfectly willing just to sit there if I need you to. Dad's missed five years of our lives—more, if you count Narnia. Now, whenever I have a nightmare, it's like he feels he has to make up for lost time. But he can't, because he has no way of understanding what those nightmares are about." I swallow again. "And truthfully, Peter, it's…I'm…more comfortable with you. If that makes sense."

I chance a second glance at him. He's gone awfully still, and looks terribly like he might cry, but his eyes are locked on mine and I think he's following.

Nervously, I shove a hand through my own hair and swallow thickly once more. "I guess…what I'm trying to say…is that I don't need a guardian angel, Peter. Because I have you."

It's then that I break eye contact again, not quite sure I want to see his reaction.

As it turns out, I don't have to worry.

I feel Peter put his arms around me and rest his forehead against mine, holding me close. Several long minutes pass before he even begins to speak, and even then, his voice sounds slightly strangled, "I'm a guardian angel, am I?"

I give a sputtering laugh, shutting my eyes and nodding vigorously. "Oh, yes—the best one that there is. Just ask Lucy."

I open my eyes, blurred slightly with tears, to find that his are open, too, and he's grinning tremulously at me. "I wonder what Aslan would say to that."

A second, somewhat thick and garbled laugh and I put my own arms around his waist, squeezing him. "He'd probably agree with me wholeheartedly."

Tbc.