Okay, FTTF is ending. Sorry folks who liked it, and to my flamers, go harass someone else. This chappie will suck, I'm warning you now. Or maybe not, who knows? Oh, and Rocky, if you're reading this, I highly suggest that you turn it off and go read GX Camping Trip. This is major angst here. Actually, whatever, read it, but be sure to review. Me likeies reviews.

Shadow Lunis: hi Shadow, nice to see you again. Yes, pain. All of my stuff is violent. Yay, violence! Ever get to see Pan's Labyrinth? And if you like violent stuff, I think you would enjoy Bloodlust, one of my newer ficcys.

Rocky: oookaaay…that was odd, to say the least.

Zanes Lover: yeah, sorry. That's cool I guess. Yes you are loved; you review like everything I put up! I think you'll like it. And thanx so much!

Gosurori Otaku: yes I know it was OOC. And yeah, we all have issues with that… here it is, and yes it's angsty.

Anime 300: thanx, I think you'll enjoy it; please review it.

Chapter Seven: "It's Over" is Just a Myth

Zane walked out of the hospital and left Academy Island with me about a month later. He still hadn't spoken more than ten words to me, or anyone, really. I understood, but his chosen solitude, even more complete and exclusive than it had been a year ago, worried me.

The Kaiser stayed with me, or more, I stayed with him. I'm not even sure if he noticed that I was with him enough to care. I sometimes woke up in the middle of the night to realize that he wasn't there beside me, instead usually outside, almost always silent.

Once, I found him talking to himself, or, not exactly talking, more muttering about something. When I edged closer, I figured it out. And wished I hadn't.

The Shadows lingered still in his mind.

"Why can't I get rid of this feeling?" he seemed to wonder. "This darkness…why won't it leave me? I can't see…" He sounded nervous.

I touched his shoulder lightly; he whirled violently, his eyes frantic. I backed off.

"Zane, it's just me," I said.

"Oh." He turned, silent once more. "Sorry," he said after a few minutes. "You just surprised me is all."

"It's okay," I assured him. "Let's go back inside, all right? I'm a little cold." He nodded after a moment and walked off toward the apartment we shared.

That alone was frightening, the way he seemed to be wary of everything yet so easily surprised, but the nightmares were worse; Zane's and mine.

Mine were always of what might have happened in the Shadow Realm. What if I had come too late? What if Zane had refused to let me help him? What if I had been unable to find him? What if the portal hadn't let us through? What if, what if? Almost every night I woke up covered in a cold sweat. Every night I curled up against Zane and attempted to forget my dreams, or at least to reassure myself that he was there and that the dreams had no basis in reality.

But his nightmares simply made it that much harder for both of us.

Most of the time it began while I was still asleep. He would start shaking; that was usually when I woke up. I was so attuned to his movements that I woke the instant a nightmare started.

I remembered the first time; before I had adjusted to what was normal movement in his sleep and what was unnatural movement in his nightmares. I hadn't woken up until he did. At first I didn't know what had woken me. There had been someone screaming in my dream; I hadn't realized that that wasn't the only place.

It was Zane. I had never heard him screaming like this before, frantic and pained. I tried to calm him down with words, but he didn't seem to hear me. I knew what he was reliving in that dream.

The Underground. Only one thing could do this to Zane. I had seen what the Underground collars had done to Syrus; no doubt Zane had been affected just as badly, or worse since he had been alone.

"Zane," I said softly. "Calm down, it's alright, you're here, you're okay, come on." I touched his shoulder hesitantly, trying not to startle him, knowing that was the worst thing I could do to him now. He leaned against me until I could feel every breath, even to the point where I could feel each heartbeat, fast and uneven like a trapped bird. "It's okay," I assured him, not even believing myself. I had no idea how to help him except to keep talking quietly and letting this run itself out. I wasn't even sure if Zane was awake or just responding instinctually to me. I was scared; Zane had never acted like this before.

Finally, the shaking and screaming stopped, the uneven breathing slowed and steadied until it was almost normal. Zane was still leaning against me, his eyes closed, whether in pain or simply exhaustion I couldn't tell.

"Zane?" I asked hesitantly. "You all right?" For a few moments, there was no response, and I thought he was asleep, then he nodded weakly and edged up closer to my body. I lay back down with him still close to me, his perfect face just maybe an inch from my own.

It happened again and again, until I finally was so attuned to him that I woke up almost before the shaking began, but it was always too late to stop it. Once the nightmares began, there was nothing I could do but wait them out and try as hard as I could to stop the panic, no matter how many times I had tried and failed before. If Zane had to go through this, the least I could do was stay by his side and try to ease his pain. Not that it ever did any good; every night was the same as the first; maybe a bit less violent, but never by much. His screams always made me start crying, impossible for me to bear.

He was always feverish at those times too, which accounted for some of the shivering, and perhaps some people would say that the screaming was caused by delirium, but I knew otherwise. Zane had never been affected this way by anything, let alone something so trivial as a fever. He was actually reliving those times, when he had been helpless, trapped; he felt that pain anew every night. No, perhaps not literally, but if anything, this was worse; it was impossible to stop or even to ease at all. And it happened over and over, with no way to prevent it.

Zane never even seemed to remember it in the mornings, and even if he had, I wouldn't have had the heart to talk about it. I was scared, to put it mildly. I knew I had been a fool to think it was over when he woke up after coming back. "It's over" had always been a myth in our lives. Nothing was ever really over. It would never end, but at the very least, I would stay by his side as long as he wanted me there, and long past that point if need be.

End

Wow. That was angsty, except for that last bit of mushy stuff. Jeez, even I didn't think it was going to be that bad. Whatever, review, you know the drill, Daphne eat you, yadayada. Oh and again, don't flame because of oocness. I know, but it's really hard to keep Zane in character in a fic like this. Sorry; don't flame for that. Thanx for supporting FTTF, and now, if you would be so kind, I would be honored and very, very happy if you would read and review my other stories, such as Broken Down (angst-romance, M), Run Away Again (angst, T), GX Camping Trip (humor-romance, T), and Unexpected (humor-romance, T). Thanx!!!

KAIZA AI!!! (despite what it might look like in this fic…)