It had gone blessedly quiet in her head, no random stray thoughts to be found, no niggling fears and worries.. Certainly there was no evil inner voice speaking. There was also no strength left to her many denials, Belle tired of fighting, of believing in the supposed good of her husband. Her pretenses blown, the sentiments of her heart had aligned with the voice for just one second. And with that joining, her worst self had been snuffed out with a satisfied sound, a hissing, grating laugh of triumph as Belle's eyes had finally truly opened and seen Rumplestiltskin for just WHO he really was.
A monster.
Her eyes already so wet, overflowed with her tears, Belle sad and heartbroken, actually sick, and most of all ANGRY. That anger had started some time ago, long before she had set foot in her library's clock tower. Her hurt and her confusion had birthed together the first strains of her anger, the voice that had haunted Belle continuing to hiss out all of her doubts and insecurities, the very things she had been trying to avoid for so long. It had whispered of the things she had chosen to ignore, the signs that had laid out right in the open, Belle maintaining her ignorance, her bliss. That reality's lies had all cracked apart, with the loud crash of sound that was the heavy metal gauntlet thumping hard against the shop's floor.
She had frozen at that sound, at the memory that had tickled through her thoughts. Of a similar sound, the gauntlet being spitefully thrown across the cliff side, to smash on the rocks before the dark witch, Maleficent's feet. Belle hadn't been able to turn, not as constricted and near to death as the beauty had been made to feel by the sea witch's tentacles. Certainly she couldn't see the gloating smile on Maleficent's face, though she had heard the purr of satisfaction in her voice.
"Let her go." Maleficent had ordered the sea witch, Ursula, whose tentacles had squeezed out one last warning around Belle's body. Somewhere from behind her, with the smell of smoke and tonic around her, Cruella De Ville had been busy laughing.
"We've got what we wanted." She had said in her sneering manner of speaking.
"That we did." Ursula had agreed, her tentacles shoving Belle violently forward. She had stumbled and had been caught, Rumplestiltskin's arms around her. He had looked furious, glaring at the three evil women, and his lips had pulled back to reveal his teeth in a wordless snarl of threat. There had been the feel of magic from behind her, and even without turning to look, Belle had known that Maleficent and the others had used some kind of spell to make their getaway.
Only then did Rumplestiltskin's anger start to leave him, his eyes having gleamed with an unfathomable darkness. Belle whose hands had still been bound by thick iron manacles, had shifted against him, had looked up at him with no real fear. She had been confused, by the man and the feeling that was starting to blossom to life inside of her heart, Belle's eyes full of wonder and curiosity as she had parted her lips with a breathy sigh.
"Why would you do that for me?"
Rumplestiltskin had still held her, had actually touched a hand to the back of Belles' hair. "They may have the gauntlet, but they will NEVER be able to harm you." He had looked fierce, his upset revealing a protective side to him that she had never before been privy to. It had made her smile, had made her long for the heavy manacles to be gone so that she could reach up and caress inquisitive fingers over his cheek.
"Why do you care about me?" She had still been in his arms, had still been wearing that gentle smile. A longing had been inside her, it and with it had come a real need to understand. He had seemed absolutely flabbergasted in turn, staring at her for a long moment. And then the moment was gone, the man shoving her away from him with a snarl.
"I don't." Rumplestiltskin had said. "But if anyone is going to crush your heart, it is going to be ME."
He had tried to scare her, had tried to use fear and intimidation tactics to hold her at bay. Belle had heard those words, and had not seen the monster that Rumplestiltskin had wanted to be, but a living breathing man. One had who used his power and his beastly persona, to hide the lonely, hurt heart that existed inside of him.
That had been the first time for her. The first time that Belle had come to believe in the man over the beast. Her heart had opened, something changing inside her, Belle actively looking, searching for cracks in Rumplestiltskin's thick armor. And in some ways, she still was doing exactly that, the reappearance of the lost gauntlet a temptation she hadn't been able to resist.
A dozen doubts and questions in her mind, the sight and touch of the gauntlet had brought out the worst in her. That voice from inside, bringing with it the full force of all of Belle's insecurities, her hidden fears, and her worries. Belle had stared down at the gauntlet, had ignored the brunt of Henry's questions about it, and all the while she had waged an internal war. The voice had pushed at and prodded her, had actively sneered, whispering insinuations in Belle's ear. That inner voice of her worst self had hissed about Rumplestiltskin, had wondered just what else the man had been hiding, and why. With an annoyed snarl, Belle had put her hand inside the gauntlet, intent on shutting the voice up. Intent on proving to it and to herself that Rumplestiltskin and his love was true.
Her world had then spun apart when the magic of the gauntlet had been triggered, Belle feeling the power course through her. For one triumphant second, she had been gloating, thinking this the solid proof of Rumplestiltskin's love for her. The first blow was dealt to her, the voice laughing as the gauntlet's power had found Belle to be lacking, arcing up out of her to go across the street, it's inexorable pull tempting her to follow after it. The anger had started then, her hurt and confusion being preyed upon by the voice. It would not let her maintain her denial, the voice all but screaming the truth in her ear, the magic of the gauntlet rejecting her the proof that Belle was NOT what Rumplestiltskin loved the most.
Not wanting to acknowledge it, unable to NOT, Belle had given in to the pull of the gauntlet's magic. It had led and she had followed, and all too soon she was before a building. But not just any building, but hers, Belle seeing the library and how it's front doors had been flung inwards and carelessly left open in someone's haste to get inside. It was too late for bad feelings, too impossible to not follow through. The magic had beckoned, and Belle had angrily followed, desperate to know just what it was that Rumplestiltskin valued more than her, his own wife.
She had almost failed to taste the power in the air, the dark magic that had been busy being cast above her, or that of the familiar ripple that had raced across her skin. It had been a familiar enough sensation, a dark sensual tingle that was uniquely her husband's own. With Rumplestiltskin's magic flaring dramatically about her, Belle had broken out into a run. The elevator had soon been before her, Belle slapping an impatient hand against it's doors. It wouldn't open, all of it's symbols alight, it's buttons glowing, and it was more than just the elevator being stuck between floors. It simply hadn't been responding, not even at her numerous attempts at calling for it, and Belle's sense of dread had only grown. She had been more aware than ever of the dark magic being cast somewhere above her, and it had left her desperate and afraid, actually frightened of what she might discover. There had been anger there too, Belle full of a kind of twisted loathing supplied to her by the voice. It had mocked her, and it had goaded her forward, actively daring Belle to go face the truth of her husband.
Belle had almost resisted, had almost stepped back. The truth held the power to be terrifying, but it would have been just as equally frightening to go on not knowing, to go on living her lies. With a tortured sound of frustration and fear, Belle had slammed both fists against the elevator's locked door. Thwarted by it, but not out of the game by a long shot, Belle had shot forward to the back of the library, to the service stairs she had almost never had reason to use.
Those stairs though not often used, had retained access to all floors of the building. Everything from the library, to the clock tower, to the labyrinth of passages down below. But the abandoned mines, and the witch's body in the basement, had held no appeal, the dark magic having gathered above her, and the guiding force of the gauntlet had also been urging Belle upwards. Her every step had been uncertain, Belle's inner turmoil waging a battle that was similar to the two magics that had been guiding her. They had all battled for supremacy inside her, the gauntlet, the voice, and Belle's own feelings.
Her anger had mounted, her fear had nearly cut off her breath, Belle choking on the tumultuous energy that was all her own. She had been past hoping, past the point of even praying. Neither the Gods, nor her own attempt at denials could have stopped this, the nightmarish reality she had awakened to. Fear and resentment, anger and hurt, Belle's disappointment had triggered long before she had stepped onto the top landing of the clock tower. Without a sound, she had taken it all in, that of the sight of her husband reveling in his starring role as VILLAIN.
Belle had nearly not been able to take her eyes off of Rumplestiltskin in all his malevolent glory. Her heart had twisted with pain, the voice inside her having extinguished on a laugh, as Belle had finally registered just what her husband was attempting to crush in his hands. A heart, all aglow with it's pain, it's rapidly faltering connection to the pirate had still been strong enough to force him to suffer along side it. Belle had had one moment to act, one moment to take note of everything happening around her. That of the pirate collapsed on the floor,, actually writhing in place on his knees. That of Snow White and Emma Sawn, frozen in place at the foot of the tower, their screaming faces locked in a silent protest forever, their horrified expressions ones that Belle couldn't at all fault them for.
With that same look of horror, she saw her husband now, saw who he was, WHAT he was. The villain of the story, of ALL their stories, the hopeless despair upon her but so was the anger, propelling Belle forward. The mini galaxy that had taken residence inside the tower, it was something like a fog, the chill frost of it's space on her skin, competing with the warm glow of it's sun and it's stars. With those conflicting sensations, she had stepped forward, her eyes on the prize. Her husband never even saw her coming, too lost to his own gloating victory, too distracted by his slow, cruel act of torturing the pirate to death.
Belle had walked forward, the gauntlet's magic almost forgotten. It had circled around Rumplestiltskin, as though to say what he had loved most was himself. Her expression had hardened with her anger, the woman having wondered how he could be so selfish, so narcissistic. The gauntlet's magic had circled around him once more, and then broke away, alighting atop the one object still capable of stopping the Dark One in his tracks.
Belle had taken hold of the dagger without even looking at it, her fingers squeezing tight around the hilt. There had been no room for accidents, Belle determined to not relinquish her hold on the dagger until after her husband had been stopped. Her rage and her disappointments, her heart break all spiraled together, sharpening her will, hardening the sweet girl inside her into a being of absolute control. Without screaming, without so much as crying, she had THOUGHT the command, had forced Rumplestiltskin to freeze in place. He had tried to fight it, tried to continue squeezing down on the pirate's heart, but Belle's hurt and her anger had made her stronger, the woman easily subduing the struggle inside him.
"I...I don't understand." He had said in a weak, whining tone of voice. "Why can't I?"
There had been a vicious satisfaction inside her, an angry triumph that had leaked into her voice. "Because I commanded you NOT to."
Her husband seemed to tremble before her, fighting against the power of her command, but his desire was no match for Belle's anger, her very expression twisted with it. She was beyond furious, beyond livid, Belle so angry she could barely speak. The snarl of it had punctuated each of her words, Belle betraying the depths of the damage his betrayal had done to her with it, the woman then ordering him to drop the pirate's heart.
The heart fell free of the slackened grip around it, and Belle had a detached moment where she took note of it. The pirate's heart wasn't as rotten as she had once insisted, glowing a mostly healthy red, with only a few drops of darkness floating in the center of it. She had almost laughed then, sick with it, with herself, Belle realizing that Rumplestiltskin wasn't the only one that she had been wrong about.
The pirate's heart wasn't rotten, and her husband's wasn't changed. He was still the same man, the same cold unfeeling monster that everyone else had always insisted him to be. She felt her disappointment rise up with the bile in her throat, Belle wondering how she could have ever let herself be so deceived. Her eyes hardened then, Belle vowing then and there that no more would she allow the wool to be pulled over her eyes.
"Now release everyone."
A sudden blast of magic ricocheted off the wall that was behind Rumplestiltskin, Emma and her mother suddenly free and confused. To them Belle had just appeared out of nowhere, the two women not yet putting together that they had been frozen by a spell.
Rumplestiltskin was still trembling, shaking with what might just be his desperation. Did he feel anything beyond a guilt at having been caught, stopped? Did he even still feel anything for HER? Belle fought the sentiment, knowing that regardless of how he answered, Belle would suffer the consequences of that question. It was simply a truth that she was better off not knowing, Belle glaring at her husband as she gave yet another command.
"And now?" She had said to his back. "Now you can take us to the town line." She inched closer to him, her voice still so angry and furious. "Because we need to be alone for what comes next."
Rumplestiltskin didn't turn to her, he didn't because she wouldn't let him, Belle not yet braced to look into his eyes. Maybe she'd NEVER be ready, and that was exactly why she had did what she had had to, the red smoke curling around her, and around him, taking them out of the clock tower, and bringing them to the edge of the town's massive forest.
The town's line was just a few yards away, the messy scrawl of it's red paint blazing a warning against all who would trespass near it. And across it was magic, or rather the distinct lack of it, that the rest of this realm was afflicted with. Unseen was the barrier, the spell that separated the two realms. Belle knew, thanks in no small part to Henry, that the magic of the Snow Queen had warped the very air. The magic that twisted there, made the trip over the town line a one way endeavor. There would be no coming back, no way to even try, Belle staring with hard, determined eyes, toughening up her resolve.
"Belle..."
Rumplestiltskin's voice cowering with his uncertainties, sounded from behind her. For one second she closed her eyes, Belle allowing herself this much of a weakness, before she turned to face him.
"What are you doing?" He took a step back for every step forward of hers, Belle advancing on him with the dagger.
"I am finally facing the truth." With her grip on the dagger, Belle maneuvered them so that she was no longer standing between her husband and the town line. He didn't seem to realize the danger, didn't seem to believe in her threat. She thickened her resolve, giving him a dark warning glare, Belle determined to not be weak any longer, and especially not around HIM.
"Belle...please..." He was saying, holding up his hands in a pleading gesture. "Put the dagger down. And let me explain." It wasn't said with his usual coaxing tones, but neither was there an angry snarl with that. He was too on edge, too nervous, Rumplestiltskin trying for a relaxed, pleasant tone. As though he hoped to lull her into trusting him, into letting her guard down around him.
"NO!" She then shouted at him as he took a step towards her. "It's MY turn to talk." She was holding him at bay with the dagger, the man carefully avoiding it as he eyed her, looking for a weakness, an opening to exploit. Belle only gripped the dagger tighter, her fingers almost screaming in protest, and that bit of pain was nothing compared to the turmoil of her betrayed heart.
"Do you remember the first time that you saved my life? You traded for me." Her eyes misted over, Belle trying to use her anger to hold back her tears. "It was then that I thought I saw something in you. Something GOOD."
His trembling lips tried to form a smile, as though Rumplestiltskin was proud or flattered by what she was saying. Or maybe he just thought that her memories were a way of her resolve weakening, Belle glaring at him lifting her hand that had the gauntlet still on it. His face stripped of much of it's remaining color, his shock and dismay such that Belle realized he hadn't even noticed it until right then and there.
"Well, as you can see, I found that gauntlet today. And with it, I finally realized something." She gave a harsh sobbing sound, that could have been her bitter attempt at a laugh. "I realized a lot of things actually. That all the signs that I have been seeing were correct. That you would never give up power for me, Rumple." A tear inched out and ran it's course down her cheek, Belle's pain unable to be held at bay by her anger any longer.
"YOU NEVER have. And you never will..."
He had stepped forward once more, reaching for her, for the dagger with his hands. She pushed back with the combined power of the dagger and her own will, Rumplestiltskin forced back yet another step towards the town's border. "You don't understand!" He cried out, and took his eyes off of her long enough to cast a nervous glance at the border behind him.
"No." Belle snapped with real bite, her every step forward forcing her husband to take another step back. It was with clear reluctance, the man trying to fight it, fight her, but she was as unrelenting in intent as she was with her words. "You told me that the gauntlet could lead you to someone's weakness. To the thing that they love the most. Well, you know where it led me to, Rumple? To the REAL dagger." Another tear escaped her, and she let it, let it scald her skin with the proof of how much her husband had hurt her. "Your true love is your POWER."
"I LIKE the power." He didn't even have the gall to deny it, the man shaking, trembling without real apology to him. "There is nothing wrong with power. But it doesn't mean that I...that WE can't have it all!"
She was crying in earnest now, his every uttered word twisting a knife deep inside her. "I just wanted YOU!" She cried out at him. "I just wanted to be CHOSEN. I tried to be everything for you, Rumple...But I wasn't enough. I was NEVER enough." She didn't even try to bite back her sobs, Belle crying, letting all her hurt and betrayal out in the sound of her voice, in the look in her eyes.
"I wasn't enough, and in trying to help you find yourself, I lost ME. I lost my way, but NOT anymore."
The finality of those particular words, seemed to strike a chord deep within him, Rumplestiltskin starting to cry in earnest. With wet eyes, with trembling lips, he began to beg her, the line blurred between real despair and manipulation, and it didn't matter what was his real reason for Belle was through.
"Belle, please, I'll make it up to you." He was saying, desperately grasping at straws. "I changed once before, I can do it again!" His eyes were bright with his tears, his trembling smile trying to encourage her to once again believe in the best of him.
"You've never changed."
"Please!" He lunged forward, one hand going for her wrist, the other extending fingers towards her face.
"NO!" She held him off with the dagger, with the command of her will. The inner strength that Belle had found to stand up to him shocked them both, the beauty bringing the monster to heel before her. "It's too late." Her tone heart broken, Belle dealt the final most devastating blow that she could. "Once I saw the man behind the beast. Now? Now there is ONLY the beast."
With the dagger raised before her eyes, Belle stared at the engraved cursive that scripted out the Dark One's true name. "Rumplestiltskin, I command you to LEAVE Storybrooke."
"Belle no, please!" He cried out, even as his body started walking. It wasn't nearly fast enough for Belle's liking, the woman advancing on him with the dagger, forcing him to move faster and fast. "I...I won't be able to come back..."
"I KNOW!" She snapped out, her anger almost crumbling apart as it gave way to the full force of her broken heart.
He cast a glance behind him, started outright crying harder as he saw he was two steps away from being forced over the line. "I don't want to lose you!" He moaned in a last ditch effort to reach her.
"You already have." She whispered it with finality, and took that last step forward.
"Belle, please...please don't do this…" Rumplestiltskin was crying, was begging, was pleading, his foot reaching behind him to pass through the barrier. Over and over he cried out her name, Belle looking away at the last possible second. It was too late, he was over, Rumplestiltskin screaming out in pure terror. "Belle! Belle please!"
He was still calling out her, as though that would get her to use the dagger and will him back into Storybrooke. It wouldn't, it couldn't, Belle understanding that there was no way in good conscience she could let that monster back into town. That knowledge didn't make Belle hurt any less, the woman stepping forward, away from the town line. Rumplestiltskin was still there, still up against the barrier, crying and moaning, begging her not to abandon him. She'd never know how long he'd stay there before his exhaustion would drive him to give up, or IF he was even capable of it, but Belle knew that she couldn't stand around here for forever. There was nothing here but pain, and sorrow, her heart break magnified, every grating sob of Rumplestiltskin's only making Belle all the more aware of what she had lost. Or rather, of what she had never truly had in the first place.
To Be continued…
What a difference a day makes. I had like three pages of this written yesterday, but upon rereading the draft today, I saw like the last page of it was BAD. The start of it was acceptable, but the last page, you could see where the need for sleep overcame me, cause boy was that some bad writing. I am glad I didn't try to rush and finish the chapter before trying to go to sleep. This version is a million times better, at least I think and hope it is!
Not completely happy with the ending paragraph per se. Just because I tried to continue it past where I ultimately ended it. But it was stalling or my brain was breaking, and couldn't get it to flow into her trek back to town. X_X
Next chapter should be a Hook POV, and I am already debating how to go about it. I do want to have the cannon scene of Emma shoving his heart back into his chest, but with this story's own twists. But I also want to be able to ease past the cannon scene into the first scene of Hook and Belle's encounter after everything that's happened. So I am hoping to work in a time skip of two or three days. There's a specific reason I have in mind about why Hook waits that long go see Belle.
As for the inner voice of Belle's worst self, what I have been trying to establish is, Ingrid in retaliation for Rumple trying to kill Emma/suck her into the hat, put a little something extra in the shattered sight spell that affected Belle only. Mainly a spell to make Belle suffer with her worst self bringing up all her insecurities and fears, that it would keep making her suffer and driving her to find out the truth about Rumplestiltskin. Breaking those two up is one way Ingrid thought to get payback on Rumplestiltskin. But I haven't quite figured out how I will reveal this in the actual story.
I don't have a name for this story, but have been toying around with the idea of something like Shattered Connections. But I am not sure it works for the overall idea. Then I started tossing around perhaps Shattered Hearts, Connected Souls. But again, not one hundred percent sure on that. I have such a hard time finding a name that works for me. X_X
Now to spell check and proofread….I worry this is a wonky one in terms of past and present tense. It was supposed to be Belle remembering everything right up to the point she takes hold of the dagger, and her inner evil voice leaves her. Then it switches to in the moment. But I am sure I screwed up the tenses all over the place. X_X
Laters!
-Michelle
Ambrosie, yes indeed! Let the fun begin! XD Thanks!
Guest, same here!
