Sorry guys! I had to censure this chapter because I don't want to lose my account. But don't be afraid. I just made an account on adultfanfiction and I will soon update all my adult stories there. The nickname is the same.

More details on my profile soon!


Disclaimer: I don't own "Merlin", though I want it so much. "Merlin" is a TV show which belongs to BBC.

Warnings: SLASH MerlinxArthur

English is not my mother language. I'm sorry for some mistakes.


I know that I didn't update a long, long time. I'm sorry. School became living hell and I had no time.


My heart will go on

Chapter 7

"For the first time"

The kiss was long and very passionate. Both Arthur and Merlin didn't want to let it go. However it could not last forever. They had got to breathe. When they pulled apart they looked into each others eyes. They were true mirrors of their souls. Men's smiles were a bit shy. But they didn't regret their action.

Arthur touched the dark man's cheek. Merlin closed his eyes enjoying the touch.

"Look at me," the blond man whispered. His soft voice sounded in Merlin's ears. "Please," Arthur added after a while.

An artist raised his eyelids. The rich man's eyes were twinkling in the dim light. Merlin couldn't help and smiled. There was something about his blond friend. He didn't understand it but he didn't have to. The dark haired boy never felt something like this before. He had known it before but now he discovered it again. Merlin could not be sure, however he thought that it was love.

The boy smiled. He really could love Arthur.

"That's better," the blond man whispered and kissed his lips.

"You know Arthur..." Merlin said quietly touching his fair hair. "I would get used to it."

Arthur laughed. He looked even cuter when he was laughing. "I hoped that you will get used to it, if you want to know," he told the dark haired man.

Merlin kissed him softly in response. Arthur didn't complain. However he wanted something more. The blond man demanded entrance with his tongue. And Merlin let him without any hesitation.

Their tongues danced together. Silent moans filled the cabin.

Arthur's cock was painfully hard. It held out for a touch. Merlin's touch. The other boy's dick was hard as well. And there was no way to hide it. However it was not necessary. Boys didn't have to pretend or hide their desires any more.

"There's hot here," Merlin said when they pulled apart for breath. Arthur agreed with his silent, almost inconspicuous nod.

They didn't wait any longer. The blond man helped Merlin with removing his tunic. The dark haired man's body was not muscular but it was definitely beautiful in its own way.

Arthur look at the other man's nipples. The desire was too strong to resist it. First he leaked Merlin's chest but after a while he focused his whole attention on his friend's nipples. He started kissing and sucking them. Merlin was laughing with indescribable pleasure.

Anyway, his cock became more impatient. Arthur had to stop his play with Merlin's nipples. The dark haired boy didn't complain, though he liked the feeling of Arthur's tongue and mouth on his chest. Merlin knew that there was still something better ahead them.

Boys looked into each others eyes catching their breaths. It didn't last long. Merlin's hands were a bit faster than Arthur's. An artist started removing the other man's trousers.

CENSURE CENSURE CENSURE CENSURE CENSURE

"Not so fast," he said shaking his head. Merlin looked disappointed. "Don't look at me this way," Arthur told him. "We can't start because you are still dressed."

The dark haired boy realised that he still wore his trousers. He started undressing. He couldn't let that mistake last any longer. And Arthur helped him. It was beginning of their play.

They both were stripped down to the bone. The blond man looked at the naked body of his lover-to-be. He saw it for the first time and he enjoyed it. The touch of Merlin's skin was so enjoyable. It was all forbidden. Arthur knew that but he didn't care about it. It was Merlin. His beautiful, sweet and dear friend.

Merlin grinned at him. He allowed more and more body contact. The boy lived that moment. All what was before and all what was going to come didn't matter. Only Arthur was important. Only Arthur seemed to be real. Titanic, other people and the whole world were nothing. The other boy's feelings was the same.

Merlin leant and kissed Arthur's forehead, then lips and neck. He leaked his chest making Arthur laugh and moan. The situation was very similar to the previous one. However the young man went lower and lower.

CENSURE CENSURE CENSURE CENSURE CENSURE

His all thoughts could be focus only on the other man and on the things that he did.

The dark haired man touched blond's shaft firmly. All strength left him. Arthur barely breathed. Merlin stopped. He didn't want to end it too soon.

The blond man looked at him disappointedly. An artist winked and kissed him.

"Not so fast," he whispered softly. "I want to celebrate this moment."

Arthur nodded his head slowly. He understood the other boy. He wanted to remember that moment forever. He wanted it do be perfect and unforgotten. They had time. They could enjoying themselves slowly.

"You're right," Arthur said smiling. "But..." he hesitated.

Merlin frowned. "What happened?" he asked. He didn't want to do anything wrong. He was afraid that he had made a mistake, that he actually had done something wrong.

"Nothing... really," the blond man tried to calm him down. He saw in his eyes that he was worried. "I just thought that... well... the floor is not the most comfortable place and..." Merlin place a kiss on the other man's lips. He understood. "I think that we can go to my cabin." Arthur pointed at the doors, behind which he had disappeared earlier.

The dark haired boy smiled softly. He got up and helped Arthur to get up too. They looked at each other. Then boys clung to one another like clothes. They went to the Arthur's cabin kissing passionately.

They disappeared in Arthur's cabin leaving behind them the drawing. Men didn't think about it then. They had something better to do and think about.

Arthur lay on a bed. Merlin still clung to him. They stopped kissing and looked in each other's eyes. There was dark in a cabin. They liked it. It all was perfect. Boys couldn't dream about this in that way.

They caressed each other. Merlin kissed his friend, his lover everywhere. In that time Arthur touched the other boy's body. The dark haired boy loved his hands' touch so badly.

CENSURE CENSURE CENSURE CENSURE CENSURE

"Are you ready?" Merlin whispered into his ear. He felt his shaft. He saw the desire in his eyes. However he had to ask. It had to be that way. Boy's voice was shivering. He waited for an answer. It seemed to last longer than forever.

"I am," Arthur answered softly. "I was long ago."

Merlin was supposed to be nervous. But he wasn't. He left it behind him. He had heard before how it was supposed to be. As an artist he had met many people. He met also men who found a pleasure in other men's arms. He had talked with them. The boy knew that he had to prepare his lover.

CENSURE CENSURE CENSURE CENSURE CENSURE

The blond man was delighted. He had never supposed that human could feel something even a bit similar to this. However he found out that he could. Arthur was a living proof of that.

Maybe it was a bit unpleasant in its own odd way. But it was more, so much more, incredible. It could hurt but it was Merlin. They didn't even think about oil or something like that and that could really help. However it didn't matter then. For Arthur, only his dark haired lover mattered, and the fact that he was inside him.

CENSURE CENSURE CENSURE CENSURE CENSURE

"Is it disturbing you?" the blond man asked teasing. Merlin loved that voice. He loved its owner.

"Of course, not," he said simply. He leant more and he placed the kiss on blond's man lips. "How could you even think about something like this?"

Arthur sighed hardly.

"What?" Merlin asked a bit confused. He was afraid that he had done something wrong. He waited for the answer with a fast beating heart.

"You're worrying and talking too much," Arthur whispered. The dark haired man felt a relief.

"Someone is here impatient." He smiled softly and Arthur nodded with an agreement. "Okay... I'm stopping talking."

"Excellent," the blond man said softly.

"Just tell me if I hurt you," Merlin said. Arthur was the last person that he could ever hurt. Ever.

CENSURE CENSURE CENSURE CENSURE CENSURE

They were enjoying themselves. However it was the first time for both of them, so they couldn't last forever. But men tried. They tried to make love with each other as long as it was possible.

When they were close to the climax they called each other names. It was so strange to hear their names in this lovely and lingering way.

CENSURE CENSURE CENSURE CENSURE CENSURE

The dark haired boy collapsed on the other. The blond man didn't say anything. They lasted like this a long, long time in silence. They breathed their scent. Their faces snuggled into each others necks.

"We'll go to hell," Merlin whispered finally. Arthur clung to him even more.

"What are you talking about?" he asked softly. The dark haired man heard in his voice a tiredness.

"People say that men who like other boys are one of the biggest sinners. They say that we'll go to hell," an artist explained.

"I don't believe them," Arthur whispered after a while. "Something what is so beautiful can't be so bad. Just can't be." He sighed. "And even if it is a sin... I can even go to hell, if you are there too."

Merlin smiled softly, but the blond man couldn't see that. "You prefer hell with me, then heaven without me?" he asked half joking, half talking serious.

Arthur didn't say anything for a while. It looked as if he was thinking about the right and true answer. "Yes," he said in the end.

Merlin lifted his head so now he saw the blond's eyes. "Are you honest?" he asked. "It means... are you sure?" he changed his question.

"I am," he laughed. "I am sure it as nothing before."

The dark haired boy kissed his lover softly. He got used to the touch of his lips on his own.

They couldn't lie like this any longer. The danger that someone could catch them grew with every second. When they got dressed, they smiled at each other shyly. It seemed to be almost impossible that just a while ago they lay fully naked, skin on skin.

"What are we doing now?" Merlin asked when they came into the cabin where they left the drawing.

"Whatever we want," Arthur answered simply. "But first I have to write something." He grinned.

"Write?" an artist was not sure if he heard clear. "What are you going to write?"

"A note, a letter... call it as you want." Arthur took a pen which looked very expensive. Then he started looking for a piece of paper. When he found it, he started writing. However it didn't last long.

"Can I read it?" Merlin asked when his friend finished.

"It is not necessary," Arthur told him. "I'll read you."

"Arthur, maybe you won't believe it, but I can read," the dark haired boy teased.

The blond man didn't answer. He only started to read:

Dear uncle, father, Vivian or whoever is reading it now,I don't care what you think or say. I'm going to live my own life. I have right, after all! Father and uncle, I will not be an ideal boy as you wanted me to be. I'm not sorry, if I failed you. It's my life. Not yours. I never loved Vivian. I don't even like her. Her voice is so annoying and she's so silly. I hope that she'll find someone who is worth her. However... give her last present from me. I'm giving her a drawing of that what she never has. There's someone else who got what she can't. Me. Completely naked. I'm not ashamed of my self.

Lots of love or anything

Arthur, who doesn't belong to any of you.

"Wow," Merlin said. "But what are you going to do with this?"

"Isn't it obvious?" Arthur told him. "I'm leaving it with a picture in that big envelope and we can go and do what we want."

Merlin smiled in the way that he only could.


The next chpter will be a bit different. There will be more Morgana. I want to show how she sees this situation and maybe something more. I'll try to update as soon as it's possible. The good news is that I've already started writing this :)

And now... maybe reviews?