The room was silent except for the occasional rustle of feet outside the slightly ajar door. Blair stared at the well-equipped but effectively white-washed room all morning. The turmoil inside her was growing but being Blair Waldorf it was easy to pretend- to act as if the verdict of Dr. Brennan and Dr. Andre had not thrown her off balance. She had managed to be calm and collected as the doctors told her the worst news of her life- she had lost three years of life. She had even faked smiles and reassured her parents that she was fine-
No one knew now- no one knew what she was feeling, least of all Blair herself. She knew that her life had just been turned upside down but she felt dazed as though she was in a dream and she would wake up any moment. It did not help that she remembered every single day of her sixteen years of life and they felt so real that she was tempted to disregard the rest –which told her that she had lived three more years-
A story wiped away-
A life she did not know
The wheels were churning and she did not know whether she wanted them to stop. Did she want to know or did she want to live in this blessed state of ignorance a little longer? What had happened in these three years-?
Not much could have changed for she had opened her eyes to familiar faces- her parents, Dorota, Serena and Nate. At least these people were still in her life – That made her feel less wrong-footed and more reassured. Maybe nothing much had changed.
But Nate had seemed oddly wary of approaching her as did Serena .They have said their goodbyes too quickly-And that made her worried.
At least she did not find a strange face demanding that he or she was a loved one. That would be classic and romantic-
She admitted to herself. She had often wanted to live in the romances where the girl loses her memory and realize that she was in love with someone whom she did not even remember-They had seemed romantic. But now as the thought was a very likely possibility the thought gave her a chill.
She had lived a life for three years - a life she did not remember- It could be possible that she would walk past people she loved, adored, hated or despised and not even remember their faces. These people would know more about her than she would- They would know her story- the one that was wiped away.
She gave an audible gasp and clutched her head. Someone moved outside quickly. She looked up and saw a shadow.
"Who is there?" She called. "Dorota?"
The shadow moved and she caught a glimpse of Chuck Bass- His face was pale and he was looking at her strangely but he was wearing purple. The fact made her smile hugely.
One thing that definitely did not change
She looked at him and began"
"Bass why are you lurking at my door?"
Chuck looked at her with a peculiar expression on his face and he was not smirking in his usual heinous way.
"Blair..." he said slowly drinking in her sight.
A shadow passed through her face. Chuck never called Blair by her first name- that was not true but still she could count the number of times he did on her one finger.
"Since when do you call me Blair?"She snapped.
He looked taken-aback. A dozen expressions passed through his face before he settled on saying simply:
"They told me you had some memory problems but the fact that you forgot your name and remembered mine did not come up."
That eased her up a bit. It was not exactly the way she remembered-he was not smirking and his voice was huskier as though suppressing some inner emotion. But he was bantering with her and that made her feel better.
"You wish Bass" she scoffed, eyeing his outfit with doubtful eyes. "Still wishing to hurt everyone's eyes with an excessive of purple?"
He shrugged: "I am Chuck Bass"
She laughed loudly and he smiled, still eyeing her peculiarly. She was extremely relieved that she was still acting like the Bass she remembered but the constant intent gaze on her was disconcerting. He was drinking in her sight and though she was used to his dirty looks and appreciative glances-this was different – The eyes were different. She was about to throw in a remark about it when the door opened. A beautiful blonde dressed in a simple pink dress entered.
"Chuck, I came looking for you when you did not come back" she said with a distinct French accent. "I thought you would..." she trailed off as she caught sight of Blair sitting there.
Blair watched as her color changed and her eyes darted between Chuck and Blair.
"She is conscious- you did not tell me..."she trailed off, looking at Chuck. "I will let you two talk."
She moved backwards. Blair turned with a disgusted look on her face.
"You have been screwing the hospital staff when I was in coma?" she said and then scoffed "Why I am not surprised?"
Chuck blanched.
"No!"He cried out, looking thoroughly upset at the thought. Blair was surprised at the expressions flying on his face- he looked almost angry at her-Chuck Bass always took pride in his exploits and her horrific exclamations were usually met with a smirk and some sexual innuendo.
Chuck looked at her and then at the now closed door.
"Eva is my girlfriend"
Blair's jaw fell open.
"Are you kidding?"
He stared at her with unreadable eyes. "No."
She stared back at him and then blinked twice.
"Chuck Bass in a relationship? Like a real relationship?"She tried it out for size and then shook her head. "Are you sure I did not wake up in an alternate universe?"
He smirked.
"You reacted in a pretty similar way when I first confessed feelings for ..."he trailed off
"Feelings- You have feelings? Did you get a head injury too Bass?'
He opened his mouth to retort when the door opened and Dorota came back from her coffee break. She looked at Chuck and surprisingly her face fell.
"Mister Chuck what you do here?"
Chuck shrugged.
"I am here to meet Blair."
Dorota drew herself up and her face became fierce. She was completely in her protector stance. Blair recognized it well since she had seen it being used on Serena and even on Nate many times.
"We were just talking Dorota" she said.
"Doctor said you no talk much Miss Blair" Dorota replied.
Chuck shrugged.
"I was leaving anyway Bl….Waldorf"he said moving towards the door.
"Thanks for stopping by Bass- and come back soon –I want to know all about the French floozy you acquired."
His eyes flickered with some emotion but he nodded and closed the stared at it and then turned to her.
"You should not have let him come. Visiting hours are over."
"He is Chuck Bass" Blair exclaimed, thoroughly annoyed. "Visiting hours does not stop him"
"But doctor said that..." Dorota protested.
Blair almost threw up her hand in the air before realizing that one of them was still bandaged.
"Stop clucking like a mother hen and come put some serum in my hair. They almost look wild – I may have been in coma but you were not. You should have known better and taken care of my hair."
As Dorota applied the serum to her hair Blair sat musing about her conversation with Chuck.
"Chuck Bass and monogamy? Seriously I cannot wrap my head over it. Personally I think it will not last even a week but the entire Upper East Side must be buzzing with curiosity about the girl who finally made Bass monogamous. "She said
She sighed suddenly
"I wish S was here or my minions" she trailed off suddenly as a horrible thought occurred to her.
"I do have minions don't I, Dorota?"
"Of course Miss Blair"
"Well why are they not here?"She cried "I want to gossip..."she stopped and gasped suddenly.
She did not need Serena or her minions to hear about the gossip. She could hear about sordid, juicy scandals with meticulous details from Gossip Girl. She smiled suddenly smoothening non-existent wrinkles from her finished combing her hair and she ordered the Polish maid for her phone.
"We never found your phone Miss Blair"
"Give me yours. I want to check Gossip Girl "she said excitedly.
Dorota shook her head.
"Miss Serena said not to let you"
Blair let out a snort
"Since when do you follow Serena's orders over mine?"
She snatched Dorota's phone, dutifully ignoring the maid's kept a string of disapproving words but Blair ignored her. The maid however did not need to worry. Blair never reached the gossip girl website. She had flipped the phone open when she caught a glimpse of a beautiful little cherub in Dorota's arms.
Her eyes went wide and she glanced upon at the woman who is like a second mother to her.
"Dorota...I...who..."she trailed off.
Dorota glanced at the picture and smiled proudly.
"That is Ana – my daughter."
Blair was speechless. She blinked rapidly and then asked softly.
"You got married?"
Dorota nodded shyly. Blair tried to smile but she found her lips would not co-operate.
"Was your wedding like what we always planned?"
Dorota's smile widened.
"Better Miss Blair. Grand and large and so beautiful"
Blair felt a sudden urge to cry. She had so many discussions about weddings with Dorota and how, if Dorota ever got married they would plan the wedding. But now that the wedding had taken place- she did not even remember.
"I wish I was there "she said softly.
"You were Miss Blair. You very happy for me"
Something uncurled within her and she felt a huge rush of emotion. Without thinking she threw the phone across the room. It hit the wall and fell with a huge shatter.
"Miss Blair-"Dorota cried
"But I don't remember. I don't remember any of it. Not your wedding- not..."she hiccupped trying to fight down the panic.
Everything had changed. Everything had moved forward- Dorota had a child and a family- Chuck Bass had a girlfriend. God knows what else had changed.
Everyone had walked forward in their life – yet she had stagnated. She was left behind and all the changes were suffocating her, making her feel worthless. She did not want this world- she had wanted the world the way it was before she had closed her eyes- she wanted the world as it was before.
But now it was impossible. It was not possible to catch up now- to subdue this painful struggle. She gasped when she felt Dorota caressing her hair.
"Calm down Miss Blair- Calm down. No use crying"
She took deep breaths.
"It is so hard – How can I start to build my life again when the last three years are lost to me?"
She clutched her maid's hand, feeling like a small child again. Her maternal affection and her whispers calmed her.
"I know it is hard. But you can do it- You can do anything –You are Miss Blair."
Blair looked up and stared at Dorota who gave her a reassuring smile. Slowly she rocked Blair as though she was still the small five years old who used to fall asleep in her arms. The rocking movement lulled her to sleep but as her head hit the pillow one last conscious thought imprinted itself in her mind.
She could do this. She could face this world. She was Blair Waldorf.
A/N: Thank you so much for the review. You will see more of Chuck in the next chapter.
