Chapter 7: Not that Girl
hands touch, eyes meet
Dr. Laghima had been fired. Madame Hou-Ting announced it in the morning during their seminar. Jinora stared, dumbstruck, at the headmistress. "What?" she said in a strangled voice, standing up out of her chair. Kai grabbed her wrist to try to pull her back down, but Jinora wrenched it out of his grasp. "Why?"
"His way of teaching was not found satisfactory," Madame Hou-Ting said in a clipped tone.
"But-"
"Miss Thropp, hold your tongue," Madame Hou-Ting said sternly. "It is not your place to speak about the decisions I make regarding my staff."
Jinora opened her mouth to say something, but Kai grabbed her hand again. "Don't, please," he begged, giving her a hand a tug. She allowed him to pull her back to her seat, fuming. Her bottom lip was trembling and he knew she was close to tears.
Madame Hou-Ting surveyed them, saying, "Go to first period per usual," and then left the room.
Kai knew there was no way they were going to first period. He grabbed his stuff and Jinora's hand. "C'mon," he muttered. "If we go to Dr. Laghima's room maybe we can catch him before he leaves."
Jinora nodded, her eyes unusually bright. "Okay." The lights in the room flickered for a moment - a piece of accidental magic, maybe - but she let Kai lead her out of the room. As soon as the sounds of the students, heading off to their own classes, faded, Jinora shook her head angrily.
"It isn't fair!" she seethed. "It's just because he's an Animal! If we hadn't done that experiment, this wouldn't be happening - how could I be so stupid? This is all my fault -"
"This is not your fault," Kai told her, taking her by the shoulders and forcing her to look him in the eye. "This is not your fault, Jinora. Do you understand me? The way Animals have been getting treated, I didn't think Shiz would fall prey to that. But that's why we did that experiment. Now we have proof and you can bring it to the Wizard, right? All we can do now is go say goodbye, okay?"
Jinora placed a hand over his. "Thank you, Kai." She smiled tearfully at him.
"Anytime," he promised. She gave his hand a squeeze. Unwilling to let go, they both walked to the good professor's office hand-in-hand.
The office itself was nearly empty, holding only a bare desk, Dr. Laghima, and two Ozian officers at his side.
"Halt! Who goes there?" one of the officers barked upon seeing the pair.
"It's alright," Dr. Laghima said, smiling up at Kai and Jinora, "these are just two of my favourite students. I'm assuming they came to say goodbye."
"We did," Jinora said, slowly releasing her hold on Kai's hand to walk over to the Bison. She took one of Dr. Laghima's large paws into her own hands. "And we wanted to thank you. For everything."
"I believe I should be thanking you," Dr. Laghima replied. "Yours was a wonderful class to teach. Thank you so much for sharing with me your thoughts, and essays - no matter how feebly structured," he added, looking over to Kai, who chuckled lightly at the jab. "And, on occasion," he said, this time looking fondly at Jinora, "your lunch. Please give the rest of your class my best."
Jinora couldn't hold back the tears that sprung to her eyes. "I'm so sorry if I got you in trouble. I just wanted to help, I never wanted you to have to leave - "
"Shh, listen to me," he said, wiping away a tear with his free paw. "You have been nothing but a joy to me during my short time as your teacher. You have done nothing wrong, you understand?" Jinora nodded tearfully. "Besides," Dr. Laghima said with a mischievous smile, "even if they can take away my job, they can't keep me from speaking out. And I promise you, I will never stop speaking out."
Jinora smiled, sniffling. "Neither will I."
One of the officers came up behind Dr. Laghima and gripped one of his broad shoulders. "It's time to go."
"Just - one last moment with my dear students?" Dr. Laghima pleaded.
"Come on, Bison," the other officer spat, grabbing Dr. Laghima's other arm and pulling him towards the door.
"Dr. Laghima!" Jinora exclaimed as he was forcefully taken from her. Kai tried to run over and help Dr. Laghima, but was met by a rough shove from the nearest officer.
"They're not telling you the whole story!" Dr. Laghima yelled frantically as he was dragged away through the halls. "Remember that, children! Remember that!" Within a few minutes, they were out of the building.
Jinora turned back to Kai, eyes wide with a mixture of fear, anger, and dread. "Are you alright?" she said worriedly. Kai nodded, rubbing his shoulder.
"...He'll...he'll be fine," Kai said, trembling, his eyes mirroring the emotions in her own.
Jinora laid a hand on his arm, and they both stood in the middle of the hall in bewildered silence. "Who's going to teach history class now?" Jinora said, her voice smaller than Kai had ever heard it.
"I guess we'll find out," Kai replied grimly.
sudden silence, sudden heat
Their history class started at the top of the hour, as any other day. Whisperings of Dr. Laghima's release had already circulated through the classroom, and rumours of the new professor were already beginning to make the rounds when the man himself made his noisy entrance into the room, pushing a cart with a drape-covered box-shaped object.
"Good afternoon, students!" The trenchcoat-clad figure flashed a toothy grin at the class, his curly hair sticking out in all directions.
A few reluctant murmurs of "Good morning," bubbled up from the class.
"I'm Professor Varrick, and I'll be taking over for your previous instructor!" the replacement exclaimed, unfazed in his enthusiasm. He stood behind his cart and laid his hand on the draped object. "Now, I've been told that I teach history a little differently. As you students already know, every day, with each tick of the Time Dragon Clock, in every corner of our great Oz, one hears the silence of progress. This is the true meaning of history: driving progress forward! For example," he pulled the drape off the object, which was made entirely of metal looked very much to Jinora like a portable jail cell, "this is called a cage!"
What disturbed Jinora more than the cage itself was what was inside it: a trembling Moose Lion cub, squeaking feebly, too scared to yowl in protest.
"Now, we will be seeing more and more of them in the near future!" Professor Varrick exclaimed. "This remarkable innovation - which I helped in designing, you may be surprised to know," he added with a self-satisfied smirk, "is actually for the animal's own good - "
Jinora shot up from her seat. "If this is for his own good, then why is he trembling?" she demanded. The little Moose Lion looked in her direction, still shivering in the back of its cage. She felt Kai's hand tugging at her sleeve, but she shook him off, refusing to sit down.
Professor Varrick's mustachioed smile twitched a bit. "He's just...excited to be here, that's all," he said, pulling out a pair of tongs and promptly hitting the cage with it. Both the Moose Lion and Jinora flinched at the sound. "Now as I was saying," Professor Varrick continued, "one of the benefits of caging a moose lion while it's young is that it will never, in fact, learn how to speak."
Jinora froze in horror. "...What?"
Professor Varrick ignored her, beckoning the other pupils to gather around the cart. "That's right," he said, "come closer, students!"
She turned to Kai, who was trying his hardest to hide the clear discomfort on his face. "Can you imagine a world where Animals are kept in cages? And never speak?" she whispered, still horrified.
"I don't - " Kai began, but was interrupted by Varrick's loud voice.
"Now, he may seem a bit agitated," he said, "but that's easily remedied!" Eagerly, he pulled out a large syringe.
Kai and Jinora looked at one another urgently. "What should I do?" Jinora asked.
"What can we do?" Kai replied.
Jinora's eyebrows furrowed in determination. "Well, someone has to do...something!" At the last word, a collective cry was heard from the group around the cart. Professor Varrick and the other students had lost control of their limbs, flailing wildly and spinning around the room in a troubled trance. The only unaffected beings in the room were Jinora, Kai, and the little Moose Lion, who was trembling harder than before, but now safe from any syringe.
Kai looked around at the scene unfolding before him, alarmed. "...What's happening?"
Jinora held her head in shock and embarrassment. "I don't know! I...got mad!"
Kai stood up and laid a hand on her shoulder. "Okay, just...stay here. And please, for the love of Oz, don't get mad at me," he said with a half-hearted chuckle. Jinora could only smile in reply as Kai took the cage and led her by the arm out of the room.
hearts leap in a giddy whirl
They ran outside to the grounds, and broke out sprinting to get to the nearest fields. There was a wooded area that lined the end of the school's grounds, and Jinora knew it would be the best place to release the baby Moose Lion.
Jinora undid the latch and pushed the door open. "Come on, little guy," she coaxed softly. The poor thing was still terrified. "We're not going to hurt you."
Kai cautiously reached into the cage, and Jinora was amazed when the Moose Lion allowed himself to be petted. "I've always had a way with animals," he grinned. "Come on, buddy."
Slowly, the Moose Lion crawled out of the cage onto the grass. He licked Jinora's fingers as she too pet his head, and then scampered off to the woods, wagging his tail happily.
"We should get back to class before anyone realizes what's happened," Jinora said, sighing and standing up. The last thing she wanted to was face that horrible, Animal-hating Varrick man.
"Or we could skip," Kai suggested. Jinora arched an eyebrow at him. "Are we really going to learn anything in that class now? Just for today, at least. It's been a rough day."
Jinora offered a hand to help him up, and Kai took it happily. His hand was warm and soft in her own, and Jinora found herself feeling almost disappointed once he left go. Which was absurd. She fought to keep her face neutral as they walked back to the school. Why would she want to hold Kai's hand? It wasn't like she liked touching him, but then she imagined running her hands through his messy hair and her heart sped up.
She glanced at him when he wasn't looking. Would his hair be as soft as it looked? She could remember his arms around her - a hug, or during the experiment just a day ago when he had helped her hold the wand - strong and warm, and most importantly, safe.
Jinora felt her face grow hot.
"Jin?" Kai looked at her with concern, and she felt her blush deepen, his attention completely focused on her. "Are you alright?"
"I'm fine, just…" she shrugged, no words coming to mind.
Kai placed a hand on her shoulder, stooping down to look her in the eye. Jinora found herself trying not to look at his lips. "Are you sure? You look a little warm."
"A little tired, I think I'm going to go lie down," she explained, which was partially true. "I'll see you later," she promised, and turned around, her heart racing. For the love of Oz, please no…
"Jinora!" he called as she walked away, but Jinora was half-grateful, half-disappointed he didn't run after her. Somehow, she didn't think this was ordinarily the way best friends felt about each other. She hadn't been sure, seeing as she had never had a best friend before, but…
It was a relief when she reached their dorm room. Kai's side of the room was messy as always, but Jinora was well-practiced at stepping over his various articles of clothing. How did one boy have so many pairs of socks, anyway?
She found her black hat, the one Kai had given her almost three months earlier at the dance, on her desk where it usually was. She picked it up, running her fingers along the hem. Next to it sat the bumblefly comb from her father.
Once, as a child, she had asked her father about her mother. Jinora didn't ask too many questions about her mother - it made her father sad - but he had indulged in her curiosity for once. "She was a kind woman, Jinora," Tenzin had said, smiling wistfully. "Beautiful too, but kind. Good. There wasn't an ounce of wickedness in her, I swear."
"How did you know you loved Mommy?" Jinora had asked.
"Well, it was a different type of love than the one between you and me," Tenzin had explained. "It's the type of love that… that makes you feel like you can fly. The right sort of love, anyway."
"Do you still love Mommy even though she's dead?"
Tenzin had teared up. "Well, yes. Just because someone's gone doesn't mean you stop loving them."
"Do you think Ikki and I will ever love someone like that?" Jinora had asked. Looking back, it was a stupid question, made by an innocent, naive little child that had no idea how the world worked. A child that didn't know that she was an oddity, avoided at all costs and nearly impossible to love.
But her father had still smiled, and scooped her up into his lap. "I hope you both do, someday, Jinora. And I hope whoever it is loves you right back."
As Jinora had grown older, she had realized that his answer was just one made by a loving father that didn't want to disappoint his children, no matter how strange they were. Even Ikki, in all her beauty and grace, was bound to a wheelchair, which often drew more pity than love. She supposed that was why Ikki had opted to continue spending so much time with Otaku; even if she wasn't particularly fond of him, at least he was someone who cared for her for any reason other than pity.
And Jinora? The idea of someone loving her was laughable. Memories of reading about fictional heroines who would find their true love were scattered across her early adolescence, and though it was nice to daydream, she had learned quickly that really, truly hoping for what her books called "true love" was a waste of time for someone like her. Knights in shining armor didn't fall in love with green-skinned girls.
Nor did high-society boys with crooked smiles.
Becoming Kai's friend had been a wonderful accident. Learning how wrong she was about him, and how much they really had in common, had been like falling onto piles of soft cushions. As quickly as her hatred for him and come and gone, their friendship had grown. And here she was, holding the hat he'd given her, realizing just a little too late that beyond that pile of cushions was a void, one that he wouldn't be at the bottom of to catch her.
It was a little soon to tell for sure, but Jinora was too smart to deny what was happening to her any longer: she was falling for her best friend. The foolishness of it made her feel like she was both flying and sinking, and she couldn't tell if she loved it or hated it.
And knowing how foolish it was to feel what she felt for him hurt more than any snide remark or judgmental stare she'd ever received.
don't dream too far, don't lose sight of who you are
The way his heart sank as he watched her leave was a moment of clarity. Like, for the first time, he was truly seeing things for what they were. Like the curtains were being opened on his emotions and everything was too clear for him to ignore.
Kai knew he had a reputation for his conduct with young women. "There's that Kai Upland," his associates back home in Gilliken had always said. "A new girl on his arm every week." And, admittedly, it wasn't entirely untrue; he didn't try to hurt anyone, but he knew he was charming, handsome, and rich, and he supposed the attention that it earned him had been enough for him for a while. Before Jinora, he hadn't been one for elaborate conversation. He'd always been written off as stupid, or lazy or shallow, or some trust-funder riding the coattails of his parents' wealth. Maybe he'd allowed himself to fall into that role. So making any true friends had been more difficult than he supposed it really should have been.
Then...Jinora had come along. With her no-nonsense attitude that later revealed itself to be driven by passion, ambition, and empathy for those on the fringes of society. And, against all odds, she'd befriended him. Made him see himself as more than just a spoiled, lazy rich boy. And made him see the world as more than just his lonely little playground.
Of course the first person that would make him see everything for what it could be would be the first person he'd ever truly fall for.
The revelation somehow wasn't as surprising as he'd thought it would be. Like any other kid, he'd heard stories of how falling in love was like having the world turn on its head, but this just felt like the moment of clarity that came from putting the final piece of the puzzle in its place. Of course, it also felt like soaring, but he supposed his head had been in the clouds long before he'd even realized he had taken off.
It also felt a little like catching his foot in a door. Yes, she was by no means well-liked (unfairly so, he thought, but it was what it was) or praised for her beauty (a crying shame, really; he couldn't believe that no one else had noticed the way her smile brightened up a room or how her brown eyes sparkled when she was happy), she had a way of coming across as angry and unapproachable, and she ranted so much that he used to wonder if she ever let anyone else talk, but she was also brave, strong, smart, and unbelievably kind. Ultimately, she was a much better person than he could honestly say he was.
And that was why the idea of her returning his feelings seemed so ridiculous. She deserved someone that was strong enough to stand beside her. Not someone who'd gone through life so careless and insecure.
He kicked a rock around as he walked, wondering how he'd face her now that he realized just how fond he was of her. Maybe everything could stay the same. Maybe he wouldn't have to humiliate himself in front of the person he had grown to love most.
It was scary, in a way. Kai had never planned ahead, or had any real plans for his future. He hadn't needed them after all, content to float through life on his parents' money, but now… Now he wanted a future with Jinora, as a friend at least, and he knew he'd be content. It was the one thing he knew he wanted. And with Jinora, maybe they could change Oz for the better. Maybe they could bring Dr. Laghima and all the Animals back. Maybe she'd love him.
He stopped in his tracks and released a short, resolute sigh, before turning to go back to his dorm. Yeah, like that would ever happen.
don't remember that rush of joy
Kai didn't see Jinora until later that evening, when she shut the door, kicked off her boots, and collapsed onto her bed.
"Hey," Kai said softly, trying to smile at her nonchalantly.
"Hey," Jinora replied. Then came the first moment of awkward silence between them in a good while.
"So," he tried, "are you...feeling better?"
Jinora nodded in her reclined position. "Yeah. I just needed to clear my head. I visited Ikki and we went to an ice cream shop together. It was nice to see my sister again."
"Oh, yeah!" Kai said, thankful for something to talk about. "How is she doing? I heard she and Otaku were dating."
Jinora snorted and Kai was almost relieved to hear the familiar sound of her scoffing laughter. "It's more like Otaku's trying to date Ikki and she doesn't really know what to do about it, but as rumours go, I guess that one's still not too far off."
Kai chuckled a bit forcefully, and he felt like hitting his head against a wall for how unnatural it sounded. Get it together, Upland. "She doesn't like him?"
"It seems more like she doesn't know how to like him," Jinora said simply. She turned to him with a sad, shy smile. "We Thropp girls have no idea how to do romance."
Kai gulped, thinking of how much he wanted to show her and learn with her, before pushing the thought away and saying, "Well, I hope everything works out with them. I think Otaku really likes her."
"Yeah." There was another awkward silence before Kai allowed himself to fall back onto his own bed.
"Hey, Jinora?" he said, breaking the silence.
"Yeah?" Her voice was soft, low, and gentle, and Kai found himself relaxing into its sound.
He turned his head toward her. "Are you sure you're okay?"
"Yeah," Jinora said, turning onto her side to face him, "why wouldn't I be?"
"Just...checking," Kai said, looking away as he blushed.
"Okay," Jinora said. "And...are you okay?"
"What? Yeah," Kai said, a little too quickly. "It's just been a really long day, you know?"
Jinora hummed in agreement, then rolled over on her back once more. He found himself watching the way her chest rose and fell with each breath, before breaking the silence once more.
"Jinora?" he said.
"Yes, Kai?"
"You know you can tell me anything, right?"
"Of course."
Kai smiled. "Good. I just want you to know that you're my best friend and I care a lot about you. And...I don't want anything to change that."
Jinora turned over to look at him again. Her smile didn't seem to quite reach her eyes, and Kai wondered if he'd managed to say something wrong. "I care about you, too," she said softly. Then, rolling over onto her back once more, she said teasingly and a little more forcefully, "Now go to sleep, dork."
He chuckled and faced the ceiling once more. "Goodnight, Jin."
"Night, Kai." The silence that followed somehow felt emptier than ever.
