"So, have you ever been in love?"
"Hmm." Sophie smirked at the direction the blonde had managed to take the conversation. "I've really cared about the people I've been with in the past, enough to say I loved them yeah. But I'm not so sure that I have ever really been in love with any of them."
"What do you think the difference is?"
A small frown etched its way on Sophie's face as she thought for a few moments before answering. "I guess I believe that actually being in love with someone is when you care about them more than anyone else you've ever been with, where you want to spend all your time with them, where you can't imagine ever having to be without them, when just thinking about them makes a smile appear on your face and to you they're the most beautiful person in the world and no one else compares. And maybe one of the main signs of being in love is when you're with that person there's nowhere else you'd rather be…"
Sian listened to the brunette intently and couldn't stop the small smile that was tugging at the corners of her mouth.
Sophie cleared her throat realising that the atmosphere had seemed to have grown incredibly charged over the past minute or so and also that she was opening up a lot more about her feelings than she would have liked. "I guess when I think about it I really haven't been in love before, but I suppose if I had I would never have let any of them go so easily. Twenty five and never been in love… Kind of sad right?"
Sian shook her head in response. "No. Actually I think it's romantic." The blonde said as Sophie looked at her and raised her eyebrows. "Well it is." Sian defended. "I mean, maybe you haven't ever been in love yet, but the way you describe it… I think that when you do, that person is going to be very lucky."
Sophie smiled in response and the two of them just sat and looked across the sofa at each other for a while, the room only filled with sound of Eva Cassidy voice quietly playing in the background. Neither of them made any attempt to speak and Sophie was barely managing to keep herself from grabbing the blonde and kissing her before maybe leading her to her bedroom. She'd told herself earlier that day that she wouldn't stop anything from happening between them again, but only if the blonde made the first move. She didn't want to be the one responsible for starting something she knew could only end in her still leaving in the New Year and ultimately resenting herself for it. However, even with that in mind she was still willing the blonde to make a move, for Sian to just simply lean over and press her soft lips against her own, wrap her arms around her neck and tell her she wanted her, and she thought it would happen especially after the kiss at the ice rink, but Sian didn't attempt anything like that. Instead, she broke eye contact with Sophie and reached out for her drink that was sat on the small table next to the end of the sofa.
"So… you're an Eva Cassidy fan then?" she asked, breaking Sophie from her daydreaming.
"What?" she said quickly as she realised the blonde was talking to her. "Oh… yeah, her voice is amazing. She sings with such emotion I never get bored of listening to her."
"I've never really listened to much of her stuff before but it's nice. Her voice is really soothing." Sophie gave a small smile but underneath she was disappointed that the blonde appeared to have given up on making any attempt of making a move on her, even though she knew that was her fault as well. She'd blatantly told her on numerous occasions that it wasn't a good idea for anything to happen between them, that she didn't want to complicate things and she'd even managed to do so moments after managing to remove her hand from between the blonde's legs.
She knew part of the reason she didn't want to take it any further is because she was scared. She'd been in relationships before and had been telling the truth when she'd said that she hadn't been in love with any of them. She had focussed so much on her career the past few years she knew she hadn't given any of them a real chance to make it something more than just a few months of dating. In the back of her mind she always worried that if she invested herself too much in a relationship that she would lose her focus and drive for work and end up messing up everything she'd worked so hard to achieve. But she also believed that there was just something missing each time. Then the blonde had come along and completely turned her world upside down. While she still wanted her career and the opportunity she was getting from moving to the America based office, when she spent time with Sian, it all seemed just a little less important and the only thing she focussed on was the blonde. Each time they had lunch, she wanted nothing more than to sit all afternoon in the blonde's company and not have to return to the office. Each time they went out for dinner or drinks, she wanted to invite Sian back to her apartment and spend the night with her. Each time they talked about any point of time in the future, she didn't want to get the sinking feeling she got in her stomach when she realised she'd be on the other side of the world and wouldn't get to see the other woman's face.
She'd already tried numerous times to distance herself from Sian but each time the thought had entered her mind, the need to be around the blonde had been too much and she'd instead ended up making arrangement for them to go out again.
"You okay?" she heard the blonde ask which broke her from her thoughts again, and as she looked back at Sian she saw her looking at her with a small smile.
"Yeah, I'm fine... just thinking."
"I never had Sophie Webster down as a daydreamer." The blonde smirked. "Well, you look cute when you're… just thinking." She winked.
Sophie felt herself blush as she as she realised that the blonde was probably fully aware that she'd been "just thinking" about her. And that was another thing, the blushing, she never found herself blushing until the blonde came into her life either.
"Are you blushing?" Sian asked.
"No, it's just warm in here." Sophie answered, causing the blonde to smirk even more.
"You are, you're blushing." Sian teased.
"Shut it." Sophie whined as she lifted a cushion and buried her face in it in embarrassment.
"Aww, babe..." Sian giggled as she reached over to take the cushion but the brunette held on to it tightly even though in her stomach butterflies erupted at the sound of the blonde's term of endearment. "Let go, Sophie." Sian sang out with a grin but the brunette only shook her head still refusing to show her face. With her grin widening, Sian quickly pulled the cushion towards her with a forceful tug, the sudden unexpected movement causing Sophie to fall in the same direction and bump into her, quickly putting her hands out to stop herself and ending up hovering over the blonde who couldn't help but laugh.
As she looked down at the laughing woman underneath her who was looking straight back up at her, Sophie couldn't help but also laugh.
"You're stronger than you look." Sophie said teasingly.
"Hey!" Sian responded as she prodded the brunette in the side making her squirm.
"Don't." she laughed but the blonde did it again. "Sian don't, that tickles."
Sian did it again as her laughing got louder and Sophie tried to push herself up to get away but failed as her body collapsed again as she tried to avoid the blonde's fingers against her ribs.
The blonde finally relented and gave Sophie a chance to catch her breath as she leaned up and looked down at the other woman again, noticing how much brighter her eyes seemed to be when she was smiling so much and how gorgeous she was even up so close.
Sophie licked her lips and swallowed hard. She was so close that it would be so easy to just lean in and kiss Sian and she was sure she wouldn't stop her or push her away. She was just inches from what she wanted but something stopped her.
"It's getting late." She stated quietly as she pushed herself up so she was sitting again. "I'll drive you home."
A small frown appeared on Sian's face as she sat up against the end of the sofa. "Erm… sure." She said clearing her throat.
00000
As Sophie pulled up outside the blonde's house, she turned off the engine and angled herself in her seat slightly.
"Today was fun." She said receiving a smile in return.
"It was." Sian replied.
"Do you think maybe you'd want to do something again then?"
Sian let out a small laugh as she smiled at the brunette. "You're a strange one, Sophie Webster."
Sophie gave a small frown. "Why?" she asked.
"You actually have to ask if I want to see you again? I thought I'd made it pretty clear that's what I wanted already."
Sophie opened her mouth to respond but then closed it again as she thought for a few moments before going to respond once more. "I thought that you'd might want to, I just didn't want to assume." Sian smirked at the girl in front of her as Sophie shrugged. "I mean, you could have had a horrible time today and have just pretended to have had fun to be polite."
"Okay, I get the logic but I can tell you now that I definitely had a great time today and I already can't wait to see you again."
Sophie smiled widely getting one in return. She'd had an amazing time with the blonde and as the day had gone on she'd daydreamed more and more about what things could be if she wasn't moving away in just a few weeks.
"So, I'll call you then?" she asked.
Sian smiled and nodded, noticing the brunette glancing down to her lips before back up to meet her eyes. Before she had a chance to say anything, to Sian's surprise, the other girl had already leaned in and pressed their lips together. It didn't take more than a couple of seconds for the blonde to realise, and when she did she ran a hand into the brunette's hair as she kissed her back. As their lips moved together, Sophie rested her hand on Sian's waist.
Sophie pulled out of the kiss but leaned their foreheads together as she evened out her breathing. "I should go." she whispered as she skimmed her thumb over the blonde's hipbone.
The other girl, whose eyes were also still closed, let out a small hum in response. "You sure you don't want to come in… for a drink or something?
Sophie slowly opened her eyes and cleared her throat as she sat back in her seat. "I shouldn't. I have a bunch of meetings tomorrow."
The blonde nodded. "Of course, well next time maybe. I know you're busy and how important your job is."
Sophie's heart dropped a little at Sian's words. It was true that her job was important to her, she'd worked hard to get where she was, but she didn't like the feeling that the blonde thought her work was more important that all other aspects of her life, especially relationships, if what was going on between the two of them could even be classed at that.
Sian undid her seatbelt and opened the door of the car as she stepped out.
"Sian!" Sophie quickly blurted out not wanting the blonde to leave her company with those being the last words.
"Yeah." The blonde said as she exited the car but turn and leaned down to look back in.
"I'll call you tomorrow."
Sian nodded with a smile. "Goodnight Sophie." She said before closing the car door and making her way up to her house.
