Joceline POV
'I can't believe I just ran out like that!' Exhaling as the scent of grass filled the room I faced the wide open, white window, 'Crap, now they all probably think I'm the worst.' Feeling the soft fur blanket underneath me I painfully clenched my fists. The trip I had hoped to have was ruined; from the looks of what I had did back there. I really had tried so hard not to run like a little girl scared, but Tamaki pushed me to it! That's an understatement, it was more of forced me to do it.
Laying down on the sheets I outstretched my limbs trying to get myself to relax. Cooling down sounded like the best, and almost always worked when I was stressed out enough. For the first time in forever I'm feeling like I had at my first flute competition back in freshman year. Although, I shouldn't have ran away like that, and it's killing me inside after seeing them fight like that.
But it was wrong.
I shouldn't have reacted like that after they were so unbelievably kind enough to bring me along, with the request from my snot nosed cousin that is. But I just can't stand to watch people fight so brutal like that and risk hurting themselves to death, and I never have.
"Thats the most stupidest thing I have ever done in my life..." I muttered irritatedly, "and I've done a lot of those."
Tying my long brown hair back tightly into a high pony tail I felt it sway against the back of my red tank top and raise from the ground of the soft, cushioned bed to my waist. I laid back down. The weather was nice, perfect for thinking, and thinking was what I really needed.
My life has been one safe, secure environment from the day I was adopted till the day I left for Japan several months ago. I had no idea what having friends was like, since I didn't count the ones my parents let me have at school as friends, and after a while the thought of meeting new people scared me. I never knew how much I'd cry in my cousins spare room alone from home sickness. Everyone I knew was back home. What was I thinking?
For starters, I didn't know anything about the Japanese language or Japan, and then I on the spot decided to come here on a weeks notice. What was it supposed to do for me? I ended up living with my cousin who despises me and an Aunt and Uncle who hardly speak to my parents.
Looking out the opened window I watched the trail that led to the woods. 'Maybe there I'd find a place to think.'
There came a knock at my door along with two soft, muffled voices. I recognized them immediately as being Tohru and Haruhi's, but I really didn't feel like talking at the moment. It was embarrassing enough, and how could I face them; I didnt have an explanation or anything! My uncomfortableness around people probably isn't what they are looking for anyways. I took a deep breath as the hallway got suddenly silent.
The slightly slid open and Haruhi peeked her curious head in, then silently entered the room as Tohru soon appeared after in the small doorway half hidden behind the wall. Hugging my knees closer in I watched them reluctantly come sit beside me on my bed.
"Joceline?" Tohru quietly squeaked out, worriedly sitting down at my left with Haruhi on my right, "Are you alright?"
'No, I'm not!' My head screamed, as if it were throwing a mini tantrum. Half of me wanted to apologize and give a handful storyline about the whole situation, but the other half wanted to leave it be knowing nothing sounded sensible enough to say out loud.
"Yes, I'm fine." Giving them a tiny, gracious smile I instantly added, "I just needed to be alone for a while."
She looked at me with desperate pleading eyes. I must have offended her. And she jumped startled as a trickle of deep laughters came from down the skinny hallway on the other side of the hot spring. It sounded like the twins and Haru, but still it was hard to make out. Haruhi sent a troublesome glare towards the door then looked calmly back at me.
Was she going to yell at me? With her temper she normally has the idea doesn't sound too far fetched.
"What did Tamaki do to make you so upset?" She nonchalantly asked, then suddenly leaned back as I gasped.
"NOTHING!" I forced out. I crossed my legs slightly on the memory foamed bed. "It wasn't what he did at all...I was just overreacting."
Tohru opened her mouth to say something, and then she quickly shut it again. By the looks of it she had something else deep on her mind and probably didn't want to talk just as much as me. It was nice that they came to look for me, even though it was obvious where I had inexplicably ran off to, so of course I am grateful. Haruhi gently placed her hand on my dry, wrinkled knee.
A warm turn up of the lips came across her pale face that I didn't even know she could muster. When Tamaki and the others were around it seemed like everyday day she was a little irritated, not that I could blame her, and the happy-go-lucky attitude she has now is the exact opposite. "If something's bothering you, you can tell us." She said, then Tohru smiled big with an excited jump.
"Yeah, Mom always said that it's best to talk about you're feelings before they build up."
"You're mom says that?" I asked.
"Well, she used to back before she died, and it really helped me." Gaping at the smile on her face I nervously gulped. 'Oh great, now I've really done it. How was I supposed to know her mother was dead?' Haruhi gasped too just as shocked as me. Tohru waved her hands around and tried to calm us down, "But it's alright, really, it's been a year so death doesn't bother me."
"I wish I hadn't said anything..." I muttered, wishing I could hug my mother at home right now. I hadn't seen her in a while, and I did miss her, but it wouldn't be right to. "I haven't talked to my mom in a while, and I probably shouldn't be upset when you've been through so much more."
"Oh no, it's al-"
"Then why don't you call her," Haruhi said handing me her cell phone, "international costs aren't that much and I'm sure Hikaru and Kaoru will understand-"
Laughing I politely pushed the phone back at her. 'It's as if she read my mind.' Wind blew lightly into the light, tan-yellow room where we all sat in a small semicircle. Taking a second to breath I felt my muscles relax. If only I had my flute here with me right now, but it's at my cousins house and probably broken with her around.
Gosh, could they understand if I explained it to them? I know that it's not rare to be adopted, and it does happen a lot, but why couldn't my parents have kept it from me until I was on my own and able to handle it? It's not everyday you get a new set of parents. They gave me a weird look.
"I'm fine guys," I insisted again taking in another deep, cleansing breath, "honest."
"If you say so." Haruhi said, then rolled her eyes as one of the boys called her name. "It looks like they need me for something, so I'll be with them if you need anything; okay?"
Tohru decided to leave with her as I nodded. I felt so much more relaxed and at ease. Gazing out my window again I watched the tall grass steadily lean to the left and back again, to the left and back again. The trail was still there which gave me another chance at the idea. With a growing grin I slipped my scarlet flip-flops on and checked to make sure no one was in the hallway.
Stepping over the window frame I inched quietly out of my room, and I hoped no one heard. There was a sharp pain in my foot, and I winced as I tripped the rest of the way out and landed on my side hip. Looking down I grumbled then swiped the wood chips and dirt mix between my skin and rubber off. Good thing no one saw that, or I would have a problem when the splinter was ready to come out.
The cold sting eventually went pouring away, and I continued on down across the open field towards the trail. My phone was on the dresser back in the room but no one would call me within thirty minutes, and that's all I planned on staying outside anyways. Finding the narrow, old dirt path I watched a tiny, clear spider crawl across the ground and held back the urge to scream.
'I hate bugs.'
The path lead to an area behind the great wall of green trees where squirrels had made their homes within trees and hollow logs. A bunny hopped across the road and I giggled to myself. The bunny could easily fit Momiji and Hunny with their personalities.
Sadness over came me, and I shoved my fingers into my tiny pockets. 'Later I'm going to apologize,' I thought roughly kicking a large stone to the side out of my way. A twig snapped from behind me and I flinched. There were probably other animals besides mini mammals, if that's an appropriate term, so I continued on forward. Missing my video games back home I sighed bored out of my mind. Another twig broke and I froze.
"Why did that one sound closer?" I asked myself glancing behind me. Seeing nothing different I took another deep breath and knew I would need desperate therapy after this. Taking a walk sounded so much better back inside my room. "Is anyone there?"
Another thick twig broke from right behind my cold back, and I quickly whirled around aimlessly guarding my pale face. Looking last my long, stretched out fingertips I saw Kyo irritatedly glaring at me like a killer. I let out a frustrated sigh and easily lowered my arms. "Please, don't scare me like that..."
"What are you doing out here anyways?" He suddenly shouted making me cautiously lurch back.
'Why does he have to yell every time he speaks?' Brushing a green fallen leaf off my shoulder I straightened my shirt and glanced down at the dirt. Ants were crawling across the road carrying today's findings, or leftovers, and I sighed in disgust. Enjoying nature really wasn't going to happen soon. "Hey!"
"Oh, yeah, sorry... I'm out here because I needed time to think. What about you?"
He ran his fingers through his orange hair which made me think on how many times he had to experiment to get dye color right. "Dammit, I don't know, I was on the roof and-Hey, what's it matter to you?"
"I was just asking..."
"Well, don't ask such irritating questions!" He shouted making my ears drop to the floor.
Kicking at the dry dirt I turned around and continued on my way down the path. If he wants to let off steam, fine, but he can't take it out of me. I have my own thoughts to sort and can't have him yelling in my ear. The wind began to get cold.
I had only been out for a couple of minutes; it couldn't have gotten this cold so soon. 'I left my sweater back at the hot spring.' Folding my arms I tried to ignore the cold wind. My jeans shorts went down to my knees, 'thank god', and the hair on my legs raised up from the forming goosebumps.
"Hey!"
I sighed dropping my arms, "What do you want to yell at me for this time?"
He brought his outstretched arm back in a cringe from my raised voice. Mentally slapping myself I resisted the urge to do so right in front of him.
"Aren't you going to hit me?" He asked quietly looking away. I raised my eyebrows, "What?"
"If you're going to hit me then get it over with!"
"Why would I hit you?" I asked.
"Dammit, never mind, this is stupid!" He shouted before taking off in the opposite direction.
Watching him leave I watched him disappear behind the bushes, and I let out a sigh. That is why I refuse to have guy friends; they're too complicated. Stepping through the bushes I soon came to a little cleared field with tall grass. Watching several birds fly from the trees I smiled and let out a cooling sigh.
'This is just what I needed.' I thought, then sat down to watch the clouds.
I had about another half hour before I was needed back for lunch, and Haruhi or one of the others would come after me if they need me. They probably don't, but that's alright. I'm different and don't need anybody to lean on. That was one of the reasons I left home; to be independent and strong.
Looking around I sighed as a cloud took the shape of a rat, then a dog, and soon I was seeing animals everywhere. It was nice to relax; the feeling of the grass tickling up against my leg, the fresh air, and even the sound of the wind blowing relaxed me. Seeing the sun go behind the clouds I guessed at the time, which seemed to fly by. With twenty minutes to spare I decided to take that time to walk back.
My leg itched from the grass, and when I got back a shower was probably due to get the chiggers off of me. Going towards the house I waded through the bushes and began looking for the trail. 'It was right behind the bushes.' Looking around I saw myself surrounded in bushes.
"Crap!" I cursed under my breath, then looked up at the sun which was so coincidentally placed smack dab in the middle of the blue sky. "Perfect."
Searching for a way through I eased through the bushes while trying not to disturb the wildlife. When I get back I should ask for a map of the place, if they have one anyways. I stepped over a branch, and tripped, then looked past the clearing through the trees.
The trees rustled in the wind above me, but that's when I began to worry. 'What if I get lost and it takes me hours to find my way back?' Twiddling my fingertips I glanced around to see if there was a path anywhere. Even a clearing of trees would help.
"Joceline?" A voice called from several yards away. My eyes lit up.
"Haruhi, I'm over here!" I shouted stumbling over another twig. A spurt of red orange hair came from behind a bush and I groaned.
'It's probably Kyo again.' I thought depressingly.
The rustles of the grass grew louder as the figure appeared from behind a nearby tree. I smiled and ran my fingers nervously through my hair. I wasn't expecting him, and out of everyone it just had to be him. He looked at me and smiled with a tiny hint of worry.
"Joceline, where have you been? We've been looking everywhere for you!"
"Hikaru?"
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