Your name is Dirk and you are currently running through town to find the boy who just fucked you.
And, having just been fucked, your ass hurts like a bitch.
So, running through town, you go to where Jake always goes when he's pissed and needs to chill.
He goes to a very loud and very busy Starbucks and sits in the corner.
You spend about twenty minutes looking around town, seeing no sign of Jake in any of them.
Finally, you find one and in the corner, you see someone reading the paper.
Only that someone reading the paper has Jake's favorite hiking boots on and his favorite watch.
You go into the Starbucks and get a Venti iced what-the-fuck-ever and go to the corner to wait.
The gentleman 'reading the paper' does not stir when you come toward him.
You sigh.
"Jake, calm down and please talk to me."
He doesn't show his face but he does give you his hand.
You take it and squeeze it caringly. As much as you try to put on a mask of apathy, to those you care about... you care.
After a moment you realize it's shaking slightly and it's slightly damp.
You grab the top of the newspaper and pull it away, revealing Jake English, not even moving visibly, tears pouring out of his eyes.
Oh shit.
"You know, I've always hated the fact that no matter how upset you are you always cry silently." You say, worry apparent in your eyes.
He looks at you with those dark and dull emerald eyes, glistening with tears, and throws his arms around you.
You pull him off of you and wipe the tears off of his face with your left thumb, and grab his arm, not causing any pain at all (mother-fuck that is the worst thing you could do right now) and drag him back to your apartment.
*************Be the Piece of Shit***********
You are not a piece of shit, but you feel like you are. You are Jake English and you are being escorted back to Dirk's home.
You are placed down on the couch as a pile of blankets and pillows is formed.
Once said pile is formed, you are lifted and put in the center of it.
This whole time you have not stopped crying.
'Such a manly adventurer' you think to yourself.
It is quite a cozy pile, but when Dirk lies in it next to you, you can't bring yourself to look at him.
"Jake." He says sternly. "What's wrong?"
You still can't do it.
You can't look at him.
"Jake." No, you won't look.
"Jake..." He says.
"JAKE!" He shouts.
You choke out a sob.
"W-what...?" You ask, still seeming very interested in the wall behind you.
"Tell me what the fuck is wrong. One minute you are taking me to cloud 9, and the next you're out the door headed for a busy coffee shop."
What the fuck...?
He liked what you did to him?
"B-but... I-I hurt you, Dirk" You sob.
"What are you talking about Jake?" He asks.
"I fucked you like an animal! I hardly prepared you at all! I saw the blood on the shower floor Dirk! I. Fucking. HURT. YOU!"
You try and get up again, try to go to the door, but Dirk is not letting that happen.
You are kicking and screaming now. Dirk is holding you down, arms around you against the pile.
He isn't saying a word.
You continue screaming and crying, Dirk holding you safe.
After a few minutes you've stopped crying and you're basically just shaking.
****************Be Dirk***************
Your name is Dirk and you are holding the most sad person on the planet.
He's stopped kicking and crying, but he's shaking under you.
"You know Jake," you start. He stops and looks at what you think is you.
"I have never known just how messed up you are inside."
You feel the tear on your arm as his hands find your shirt and hold it tight.
"But we'll get this shit sorted out. You got that?" You ask. You wait for him to conclude.
He nods and pulls a stray blanket over himself.
You pull the blanket off of his head and kiss him, sweet and gently.
"You need to know that you're not alone, Jake."
You grabbed a blanket as well and snuggled with him and fell asleep.
You had plans to take care of him already.
Of course you could take care of him.
You know you can take care of him.
You love him.
****************Be Jane************
Your name is Jane and you are staring drop-jawed at your girlfriend Roxy.
3 days ago this was a harmless prank.
12 hours ago this was porn.
And 1 hour ago this turned into something that unearthed problems that the two of you didn't even know about.
You are staring at each other and you both make the decision.
You have to tell the two of them that Roxy caused them to switch bodies, and that the both of you were going to help Dirk in his endeavor to help Jake.
Hey guys!
Thanks to those of you who reviewed (all four of you! yeah!) and don't fear, more is coming.
For those of you who thought this fic was going to be mindless smut the whole time, you were wrong.
This has plot. All the plot. So much plot you don't even know.
So, I have to ask, has my updating been enough to keep you guys entertained? Is one or two chapters *A DAY* enough?
It fucking better be.
Important note!
The genre is going to change from humor/romance to angst/romance.
Just a heads up because there's gonne be a bit less humor in this fic now.
But yeah, share with people, review, and enjoy! ^_^
