"I have learned that if you must leave a place that you have lived in and loved and where all your yesteryears are buried deep, leave it any way except a slow way, leave it the fastest way you can. Never turn back and never believe that an hour you remember is a better hour because it is dead. Passed years seem safe ones, vanquished ones, while the future lives in a cloud, formidable from a distance." ~ Beryl Markham

A month had passed since JJ told Hotch she was ready to return to the team. As excited as he was for their missing piece to return, he knew all too well the dangers of returning to the job too soon after a tragedy. In the quiet recess of his own mind, he could admit to not properly mourning the loss of the love of his life Haley. He didn't want that for JJ, she deserved more, and truth be told, so did Will. The Unit Chief told the newest profiler that she would need to be cleared by the Bureau psychologist before she returned to the field.


Life at the new Jareau-LaMontangue-Reid household was suprisingly pleasant. It took awhile, but things settled down and new routines were made. Spencer felt guilty at times for feeling so at home and content.

JJ had been cleared by the Bureau to return to the field and was scheduled to officially go back to work in three days. Luckily, the team was on standby and Spencer was able to spend Friday night at home with JJ and Henry. He was in an awkward place, not Henry's father, but taking on many responsibilities of a parent. In the early weeks when JJ was at her worst, he was responsible for feeding, bathing, entertaining, and taking care of Henry. No longer needing pullups, Spencer could still tell that the young boy didn't entirely understand what it means to be dead.

That evening before going home, he knocked on Hotch's office door.

"Come in" the Unit Chief stated.

"Um, Hi Hotch, do you have a minute?"

"Sure, Reid, what can I help you with?

"It's Henry, Hotch. He's still struggling. I know Jack was a year, 4 months, and 13 days older than Henry was when Haley died, but I was hoping you may be able to give me some advice on how to help him."

Hotch looked at his youngest agent with understanding and pain in his eyes, and motioned for him to sit down.

"I know this is something that JJ would normally do, but she's just coming to terms with Will's death herself."

It wasn't the first conversation Hotch and Spencer had about JJ and Henry over Will's death. It had become such a regular occurrance, Spencer wasn't entirely sure how he would ever make it up to his superior. Hotch on the other hand, marveled at how mature and grown-up Reid was compared to the skinny, self-conscious young genius, he had been just eight years ago.

"Spencer, JJ trusts you with Henry's life and well-being."

It was during this private conversations that Hotch would call him by his real name, Spencer. There was no formality or hierarchy, it was just two friends-no, family.

"I know, I know, but it still seems like I'm overstepping my boundaries. Yet, if I'm being honest with myself I don't care because Henry needs me. All of the childhood grief books are so literal and scientific, it doesn't really help me in real life."

"I understand what you're saying Spencer" Hotch sighed, "When Haley died, one of Jack's pre-school teachers told me about this book City Dog, Country Frog. It explains death and loss to children in ways that they can understand. If you'd like, I'd be happy to let you and JJ borrow it."

"Thank you Hotch, I'd love that."


"Hey Spence, where have you been?" JJ said while she was clearing the table.

"I'm sorry JJ, I stayed after to talk to Hotch."

"About what?"

"Um, Henry."

Stopping what she was doing, she looked at her best friend.

"About?"

Not wanting to upset JJ, the young genius choose his words very carefully.

"Well we both go back to work next week and if there's anything I've learned in the two and a half months I've been staying here with you guys, is that three year olds are very curious. And I just wanted to help Henry cope with things when he goes back to pre-school."

I want to help my godson understand the death of his father.

"I want that too Spence, but Henry is doing a lot better than when it first happened." She couldn't help but feel guilty at how she neglected her own child due to the grief at losing her partner, "I think he's fine" she said defensively.

"I know Jay, but he's still confused." Removing the book from his leather messenger bag, he handed it to JJ.

"Hotch said he read it to Jack after Haley died and it really helped him process the loss of his mother and grieve for her."

Her eyes filled with tears as she held the book to her chest.

"I don't know what we'd do without you Spence" the young mother said as she ran into her best friends arms.

"Death leaves a heartache no one can heal, love leaves a memory no one can steal."

~From a headstone in Ireland