Ladies and Gentlemen, please take your seats and enjoy the following feature presentation. We ask at this time that all elcor in the audience please refrain from pheromone-based communication, as this can upset any vorcha and batarian patrons, and being torn apart violently usually offends.

Normandy Entertainment presents a Good Shepard Production of:

Jim Henson's

Muppet Treasure Island

Samantha Traynor as Jenny Hawkins

Commander Illyria Shepard as Long John Silver

Thane Krios as Captain Abraham Smollet

Zaeed Massani as Mister Samuel Arrow

Garrus Vakarian as Squire Trelawney

EDI as Benjamina Gunn

Urdnot Grunt as Sweetums

Kelly Chambers as Clueless Morgan

Kasumi Goto as the voice of Polly Lobster

Jack as Mad Monty

Jeff Moreau as the Great Gonzo

Professor Mordin Solus as Dr David Livesay

Liara T'Soni as Beaker, Livesay's assistant

Jacob Taylor as Dr Teeth

Samara as Zoot

Ashley Williams as Sgt. Floyd Pepper

Tali'Zorah vas Normandy as Janice

Introducing James Vega as Animal

Kenneth Donnelly and Gabriella Daniels as Statler and Waldorf

Special Guest Starring Admiral Steven Hackett as Billy Bones

And Matriach Aethyta as Mrs Bluberidge

In Memory of Kaidan Alenko


A/N: I hope you have enjoyed this romp into silliness with me, and continue to do so for as long as I can keep finding new and inventive ways to butcher both the Mass Effect characters and widely-loved classics of stage and screen as I mash them into each other at speeds not unlike those achieved by the Large Hadron Collider.

This particular chapter is dedicated to Werepanther33, whose reviews in particular have left me laughing, and gave me the particular inspiration for this chapter.

Also, please leave reviews. The more you give, the more you get!