"Alright. That's it. I'm going to talk to Logan. I don't see why he had to tell me to stay away from Kendall instead of Kendall doing it himself." James said to himself as he looked into the mirror that was in his and Carlos's shared room. The conversation he had with Logan yesterday had yet to leave his mind but the only thing that bothered him about it was that Kendall made Logan talk to him.
The only three in the apartment were Logan, Carlos, and James himself. Katie and Mama Knight had gone out for the day and James, again, didn't know where Kendall was. He wasn't keeping tabs on him anymore.
James made his way down the hall and to Logan and Kendall's shared room where Logan was getting dressed to hang out with Camille, who had been feeling down due to Jo being gone.
"Logan! We need to talk." 'God there's been a lot of talking going on lately.' James couldn't help but realize.
"Sure thing dude. What's up?" Logan asked wondering what his friend wanted to talk about.
James inhaled deeply before starting. "Logan… Why did you talk to me instead of Kendall? Obviously when I left he told you to tell me whatever, so… Why didn't he just tell me? It actually really hurts that he didn't have the decency to tell me himself!" He started
"Uh.. Ja-"
"I'm not done! I feel like he doesn't care about this friendship anymore! I mean, making you talk to me about it instead of himself. It also shows that he's a coward! Too scared to talk to someone who used to be your best friend? Pfft. Honestly."
"J-"
"Still not done!
"James! Listen to me!" James immediately stopped talking, an almost hurt look on his face. "Look… Kendall… He has his reasons, okay?" Logan replied quietly.
"What reason is good enough to do something like this? We aren't in grade school anymore! We're practically adults!" James shouted angrily. His feelings had never been hurt this bad and he wasn't going to pretend like it didn't matter anymore.
"Dude, just stop."
"No! Kendall had no right doing that! We used to be best friends! I mean… I like to think that we still are best friends, but with everything going on… I wouldn't even call us friends anymore. And to have him do that, I just. It fucking hurts! A-a-and he's such a girl! A girl who's too afraid to talk to someone about something so simple!" 'I honestly don't see why Kendall couldn't talk to me himself. I wouldn't have beaten the shit out of him for it or anything. If he wanted to tell me something, he should have just told me. Fuck.'
Carlos sat from the couch watching his friends argue with tears flooding his eyes. Yeah, he could be violent towards them, but he could never be verbally violent towards his friends. And he hated when his friends argued or fought like James and Logan were doing now.
"Guys, stop fighting." The short brunette piped up with a sad expression on his face.
"Carlos, stay out of this. This has nothing to do with you buddy. I mean, tell me this Logan, why couldn't Kendall tell me himself?" James asked angrily getting ready to say something else before letting his friend reply. The three boys quickly snapped their heads towards the bathroom when they heard it swing open and hit the hall with an intense force.
Kendall stood in the doorway with an angry look. "Do you really fucking want to know why I couldn't tell you James?" He shouted, stalking his way over to his friend.
"Yeah, I would really fucking like you to elaborate Kendall." James replied staring his friend down. James was pissed at this point and wasn't going to let anything scare him or stop him from getting Kendall's side of the story.
'This shit ends fucking now.'
"I was fine with you dropping hints that you had feelings for me or even slightly hitting on me. It fucking creeped me out, but I could deal with it. I wasn't going to let it get in the way of our friendship, because I fucking care about you. But when we kissed and your flirting got worse… I just couldn't take it! And I'm sure you'd like to know why, so here you have it! My fucking life story that I've never told you. After Katie was born… My dad left. He left my mom, divorced her… Didn't want custody of me or Katie. Do you know why he left? He left her for another guy! He left my mom, three month old Katie, myself, and everything for some fucking guy! A guy! I was only seven, I didn't know what the fuck was going on. I just knew that my family or I weren't good enough to suit my father's stupid fucking needs. That was also when my dad left Wisconsin to Minnesota. He fucking moved to get away from my mom and be with that… that… faggot! My faggot father left to be with his faggot boyfriend! My mom was so fucking devastated.. I heard her stay up at nights crying. So, we left Wisconsin as well. We left Wisconsin to Minnesota so my mom could try to get my asshole dad back. So we moved to Minnesota and my mom spends months trying to get my dad back… But it obviously didn't work. After the move we were completely broke, we had to live out of a motel because my mom couldn't get a job and we didn't have any money to move back. No one in my family wanted to help… They thought that we were some kind of embarrassment because of my dad." Tears were now streaming down Kendall's face."A-about half a year later when my dad realized that we weren't leaving Minnesota he left for New York… He didn't want anything to do with us. Do you know what it's like having your dad not want anything to do with you at only seven years old? It fucking hurts. It hurts so fucking bad. It's an unimaginable pain, James. James. It hurts so fucking bad. I didn't know what was wrong with me. My mom constantly stayed up with me at nights when I couldn't stop crying because I thought it was my fault, telling me that it wasn't my fault. I thought that I was a bad son and that that was why he left us for some guy. We haven't talked in ten years…. He hasn't called for Christmas or even my birthday." Kendall was no longer shouting now. His eyes were puffy from crying.
"Ke-"
"That's why I had Logan tell you to leave me alone instead of myself. It's so fucking embarrassing having your dad leave you for another guy."
"But Kendall… We're best friends, you could have told me!" James exclaimed, an almost hopeless expression on his face.
"It's not that easy James! Do you know how embarrassing that is! To have all of that happen to you! Fuck… I just want to go home… I just want to go home when everything was normal, my dad hadn't left us for another guy… When everything was just normal and perfect…"
"Kendall.."
"James… Just shut up, please." Kendall looked as though he was getting mad again.
"Guys! James, Kendall. Please stop fighting. That's all you've been doing." Carlos cut in with a stern tone in his voice. He was done with his friends arguing. Kendall and James looked over at their friend.
"Seriously! James is right, you two are best friends - we're all best friends. Stop fighting! Look, James. You - you are fucking stupid for continuously going after Kendall even though he showed that he doesn't have feelings for you. And Kendall, you're just as fucking stupid. Having that happen really sucks, yeah, but it shouldn't make you so homophobic. And you know, liking guys isn't a bad thing. I mean, look at James. He's made out with tons of guys before and.. Done more things I'm sure, but he's not a bad person is he? And if you ever have feelings for some dude, that's fine! It's not going to turn you into an asshole like your dad. You'll still be the same old Kendall. Please, realize this and stop your stupid arguing. I've had enough of it!" Carlos shouted. "Now, Logan. Would you like to go get some amazing corn dogs with me?" He asked Logan casually as though he hadn't just chewed his other two friends out.
Logan looked around uneasily and nodded. "Uh.. Yeah, sure."
"We're leaving, so you two better make up. Because if I hear or see anymore arguing between you two, I will not hesitate to punch you in the mouth." Carlos stated before leaving 2J with Logan. Both James and Kendall watched their two friends leave in shock. Neither of them had expected Carlos to put his two sense in, nor had they expected him to rant to them.
"Carlos is right…" James said quietly after the two had left, all Kendall could do was look down in shame and nod in agreement."But, I really do have feelings for you Kendall." James blurted. 'Fuuuuuuck, why did I say that? I didn't mean for that to come out! Can I get a rewind button?' James thought to himself with wide eyes. Of course he was thinking it, he just hadn't wanted it to come out of his mouth.
Kendall glared at his friend, God he had a horrible temper. "James! I just told you that I have issues with this, why are you telling me that you love me! Everything is still, and probably always will be, about you! Give me some time to deal with this!"
"K-Kendall! I'm sorry! I didn't…"
"Whatever, James." Kendall stormed out of the apartment leaving James by himself.
'I'm so fucking dumb! That was just so random and… Why did it come out of my mouth! Everything was ready to get back to normal and my big fat mouth and stupid brain had to ruin everything. Fuckfuckfuck.' The tall brunette sat down in a kitchen chair and stuck his head in his folded arms.
