That Most Heinous of Crimes

By Andrew J. Talon

Disclaimer: I do not and probably never will own Naruto or any other copyrighted works mentioned in this story. I am not writing this for profit.


Andoryuu

Hot springs are a fixture in Japanese culture. It'd be easier to make a list of anime and manga where they don't appear than it would be to make a list where they do. Like trying to imagine an American sitcom that doesn't take place in New York.

Why did I mention that? Well, I wanted to keep in the proper mindset, that of the scientist. Makes it harder to be distracted by emotions... In particular those generated by two very attractive, very stacked, and very naked females sitting on either side of me in a bath.

"Haaa... Isn't this nice, Ando-kun?" Jorougumo asked, stretching quite provocatively. Naruto and Sasuke, sitting across from us, immediately looked elsewhere, covering their noses. Sakura, amusingly enough, did the same thing.

"Yeah! This is grrrreat," Ringumo moaned, sinking deeper into the hot water of Jorougumo's private bath. "Can't believe I didn't become human sooner..."

"Yes, it's very nice," I said.

"Thank you very, very much again, Sakura, Naruto, and Sasuke!" Ringumo said with an almost drunken smile on her face. "This is the best day ever..."

"Er... Um... Jorougumo-sama," Sakura managed. "Um... It's... Ah..."

"Yes, Sakura Haruno?" Jorougumo asked. The pink haired girl steeled her nerves, and managed to look the Spider Queen in the eyes.

"Er... Um... Well... It's just that... Ah... We're used to... Single-sex baths..." She explained.

"Mou? Really?" Jorougumo asked. "You segregate the sexes?"

"Ah, y-yes," Sakura explained.

"Why?" Jorougumo asked.

"Er..."

"It's, um... To avoid embarassment," Naruto supplied. "Like, you know... Perverts and... Stuff."

"Perverts? How do you mean?" Jorougumo asked.

"Ah... Um..."

"It's generally regarded as impolite to have sex in full view of others," I explained with a straight face. Sakura's face flashed bright red.

"S-Sensei!" She squeaked. I shrugged.

"Well, that's the thinking... Plus a lot of other social taboos, it's kind of complicated."

"Mou... Well... We don't have those here," Jorougumo said with a sultry smile. I nodded.

"Well... All the same, if it'll make my students more comfortable..." I put my fingers together in the Tiger seal, and focused my chakra. "Henge."

POOF! A moment later, I was now in Sexy Jutsu form.

"I'll just be in female form," I said in a significantly more feminine voice. Jorougumo blinked, and looked me over. She then reached out and poked my... Chest.

"A full transformation?" She asked, looking delighted. I nodded.

"Yes... Not that dissimilar from what you do, Jorougumo-sama," I explained. I pointed to Naruto. "He invented it... And taught me."

"Really? You can do this?" Jorougumo asked with a smile. Naruto blushed, but pride won the day and he began to speak at length about the invention of his Sexy Jutsu, and the considerable utility it had. I smiled-Even ninja can only stay in the hot springs so long, and as long as Jorougumo and Naruto talked about shapeshifting for the whole time... Which they probably would... I was home free.

"Wow... Bigger than mine," Ringumo said, poking my boobs from the other side. "Do humans like boobs being large?"

"Ask Sasuke about it," I said. Ringumo smiled happily and nodded. She then swam next to Sasuke and sat in his lap, turning his face bright red.

"Ah... Er..."

"Sasuke-kun, do you like large boobs?" Ringumo asked. Sakura seethed, and instinctively pushed Ringumo off Sasuke's lap.

"Ringumo, don't do that! It's not proper!"

"Oh? Why?" The spider-turned-girl asked.

Sakura also blushed bright red, as I marvelled at my genius. Dance my puppets, dance, mwahahahaha!

"Urk!" Jorougumo glomped onto me and smiled warmly into my face.

"So... Naruto-kun tells me that human males enjoy two females together," she purred. "Tell me Ando-kun... Would you be willing to... Indulge me in a little experimentation?"

I blushed bright red, and saw Naruto's bastard fox smile out of the corner of my eyes. Oh, I was going to get him for this...

Sakura, fortunately, came to my rescue.

"Ah... Well, Jorougumo-sama, r-remember the whole, um, impolite thing?" Sakura asked.

"Well... You could go," Jorougumo suggested, looking a little annoyed.

"Eh? Sasuke, what's this thing?" Ringumo asked.

"Wha-ACK! G-Get off!"

"Why?"

"RINGUMO!" Sakura grabbed Ringumo's shoulders, and yanked her away from Sasuke angrily. "Damnit Ringumo, don't do that!"

"... Ohhh..." Ringumo nodded. "I was being 'impolite', wasn't I?"

"You were...?!" Sakura's jaw damn near dropped to the surface of the water. Sasuke's entire body seemed to be burning bright red.

Naruto was laughing his ass off. Jorougumo frowned, and looked back into my eyes. I shrugged.

"There are a lot of... Social nuances to learn, Jorougumo-sama... Maybe when we're all better informed, we can... Try that out?" I smiled. "Besides, I do have a mission to accomplish, don't I?"

"Oh... Very well," Jorougumo sighed.

"Well... I do have my duty. You wouldn't want me to slack off on it, would you?" I asked.

"Of course not!" The Spider Queen smiled warmly. "But I'd like you more if you chose to delay~..."

"Sorry Jorougumo-sama. You know the old saying: 'Duty is heavier than a mountain, death lighter than a feather'," I quoted. Jorougumo blinked.

"I do?"

"... Well, you do now," I offered.

I looked over at the still laughing Naruto, and then back at Ringumo.

"Hey, Gumo-chan. It's not impolite to try something with Naruto, you know."

"It isn't?" Ringumo asked. Sakura, immediately getting my intention, grinned evilly.

"Not in the least... He's an exception to the rules."

"Okay!" Ringumo cheered, as she leaped out of the water and landed on top of the laughing blonde.

"AUGH! RINGUMO!"

"Oooh! Much harder than Sasuke! But I kind of like it! Hey, is this the same thing Sasuke has?"

"I-GAH! DON'T TOUCH THAT! DAMNIT SENSEI!"

I smirked and leaned back against the rock, as Jorougumo slid off my lap and sat next to me, looking confused.

"Have I mentioned I find your people very strange, Ando-kun?" She asked.

"Not lately," I said, as Naruto thrashed frantically underneath a laughing Ringumo.


Naruto

Sensei is a bastard. A total and complete bastard!

I mean, he's sicced Ringumo on me a couple times, but never when she was... Human! And... Naked! And... I... Wow.

I had no idea Hinata looked like that... Ya know, naked...

ARGH! That doesn't take away his-his-how big a bastard he is!

And he used my Sexy Jutsu to do it, too. Oh, I'm going to get him back for this, he is so screwed...

On the other hand, he did get the Bastard... Can't believe Sakura wasn't jealous of Ringumo pouncing on me. Hmph. I mean, I took Sensei's advice to ease up on the asking for dates, play it like Sasuke, but she's just been paying more attention to Sasuke! Sure, negative attention but still...

Anyway, after we finished in the baths, we got dressed and headed back to Jorougumo's throne room. She gave us a big, toothy smile.

"I look forward to your return, Ando-kun," she told our sensei. He nodded and bowed respectfully.

"I look forward to returning soon, Jorougumo-sama," he said in a polite voice. Jorougumo's smile grew, and she looked like she was about to hug him again.

"Ah, Jorougumo-sama?" He tried. Jorougumo stopped, and then pouted.

"Oh... I was just going to give you something to help you on your journey," she whined.

"What?"

She rose, and made a few handseals.

"You see, the Mizugumo may require a few things of you... Things you cannot do as a human," she said. Quicker than any of us could see, she slammed her palm into Sensei's chest. His eyes bugged out... And then turned black.

"Eh?!"

It was kind of like watching Ringumo's transformation into a human in reverse. He sprouted extra legs and arms, his ass grew and lengthened, his mouth and face changed too.

"Oh God," Sakura muttered. Sasuke also looked pale... Well, paler than usual. Me, I reacted the only way I could.

"Cool!"

Standing there, looking a bit confused, was our Sensei as a Jorou Spider. A male, judging by his size and coloring. Though there were differences, of course. His eyes... All eight of them... Had round markings that made it look like he was still wearing glasses. His exoskeleton was the same shade of brown as his hair. And he looked just as nervous as he had before.

"Aw goddamnit..." He muttered as he held up a leg and examined it. "I am so screwed."

"Look on the bright side," Jorougumo purred. "You make a most handsome spider."

"That's what I'm afraid of," he sighed. "ACK!"

Ringumo had jumped on top of him, still in human form. She wore a big smile.

"Ando-kun, you look great!"

"Great, thanks," he muttered. He looked over at Jorougumo. "So... How do I change back?"

"It will wear off in a few days," Jorougumo said. She smiled. "Think of it as a test of your new Sage status. It is easy to fight in a form you are familiar with, but not as easy as when you are in one alien to you."

"Yes, Jorougumo-sama," our sensei replied. He looked at all of us. "Do they also need to be in Spider form?"

"Yes, but don't worry, I've picked out forms that should be quite suitable for them," she said.

"Eh?! H-Hey, wait a minute!" I protested. "You want us to go around as-as spiders?"

Sasuke shuddered, and began muttering that mantra of his again.

"Of course! It is best to greet the Mizugumo in such forms. They regard it as very respectful," Jorougumo said. "Now... Hold still..."

"But I-!"

She moved, so fast I couldn't even see her. I felt her press her palm into my chest, and I looked down. I could see sealwork decorating her hand as she pulled it away.

That's when I also began to change. Actually, it wasn't too different from my Sexy Jutsu.

... Actually it was very different. Horribly different. Extra legs and eyes and everything...!

"AAAAAHHHHHH!" I screamed, as I transformed quickly. My skeleton seemed to vanish and then reappear on my skin, my head twisted and stretched, my eyes got bigger, and I fell over onto all... Eights.

"EEYAAAAHHH!" Sakura screamed, and Sasuke let out a whimper. On any other occassion, I'd be enjoying him acting like a little bitch, but it was hard to enjoy someone else's horror when you're going through the same thing.

Maybe a minute later, it was over. I held up my arms, and stared intently.

"... Ah... Well..." I looked over at Jorougumo. "What'd you turn me into?"

"I'm glad you asked!" The Spider Queen said happily. Male Jorou Spiders suddenly appeared, holding up mirrors. My mouthparts... Well, I think they formed an expression of horror, but I'm not entirely sure.

I was a spider, all right. A giant spider. I think I was of the same kind as Ookamigumo-A Portia Spider, Sensei called it. They were furry, fast, had good eyesight and were very smart, very sadistic bastards.

So, as far as spiders go, I guess it wasn't too bad... Of course, it was me being turned into a spider, which was still pretty messed up.

"AUGH!" I cried. I scuttled closer, and looked more intently. I held up my forward arms, and got a hold of one tuft of blonde hair. I tugged on it.

"Ow!" Okay... Wasn't dreaming then. Or hallucinating. Or in a genjutsu.

... Well... At least I was still blonde. That was kind of cool.

I turned around, and looked over at my teammates. Sakura was a big, pink, smooth-looking spider that resembled a crab. Her mouthparts were also open in an expression of horror. Sasuke...

I burst out laughing. "HAHAHAHAHAHAHA! HAHAHAHAHAHA!"

"What's so funny?!" Sasuke demanded angrily.

"You-You-HAHAHAAHAHAHAHAHA!" I continued to laugh, hard. He was a black widow spider... A female black widow. How could ANYONE not laugh?

Sasuke looked at his mirror... And he got really, really angry.

"I... A black widow?!" He demanded.

"Their venom is quite potent," Jorougumo said with a smile. "Admittedly, that is not all there is to being a spider..."

"HAHAHAHAHAHAHA!" I continued.

"Shut up, Naruto!" Sakura snarled. Sensei just looked amused. Well, amused for a spider.

"All right, all right... I have had my fun," Jorougumo said. She pressed her hand into Sasuke's face, and he shifted again. This time, I could tell he was a jumping spider like me, with black fur and red eyes. I huffed, but it was probably better for him this way. And us. We wouldn't have to hear him whine about it.

"Better?" Jorougumo asked.

"No," Sasuke replied flatly.

"Come on Bastard... Think of it as an adventure!" I cried.

"This is not an adventure, this is hell," Sasuke emphasized. I blew the spider equivalent of a raspberry at him... I think I did anyway, it's kind of hard to tell.

"Well... Let's be off then, we're burning daylight," Sensei said. He gave the spider equivalent of a bow to Jorougumo, and turned to scuttle off. He almost made it off the web.

"Come back safely, my wonderful Ando-kun," she purred as she glomped him and dry humped him from behind. I swear, Sensei blushed hard.

"Er, I will, promise," he said. He scuttled off quickly, and the rest of us followed. Well, except for Sakura.

"Sakura-chan?" I tried.

Sakura shuddered, but scuttled after us. Ringumo skipped along, still in human form, with a big smile on her face.

"Oh, this is going to be so much fun!" She enthused.

"And why does she get to stay in human form?" Sasuke demanded.

"Because I'm special, that's why!" Ringumo said, sticking her tongue out.

Sasuke grumbled. Sakura looked resigned.

"Yes you are, Ringumo. Yes you are," Sensei said, as we crossed the bridge into the palace proper.

"So... Um... Does this shape shifting work the same way as with humans?" Sakura finally asked.

"Essentially, yes," Sensei said. "I smelled spider blood in the seal she used. She probably got samples from a few different species to use. She switched them out for each of us."

"I didn't see her do that," Sakura said.

"She did it faster than you could see, probably," Sensei said.

"So, you saw it?" I asked.

"I saw a blur... She isn't the Queen for nothing, you know," Sensei replied.

That was cool, but what I really wanted to do was find out what this spider body of mine could do. So, I tensed my muscles, and jumped.

"WOO!" I cried, as I was now way ahead of the others. "AWESOME!"

I turned around and gave them a spider grin... I think. "This is so cool! Look how far I jumped!"

"Hmph," Sasuke said.

"Ha! You're just jealous because my spider form's way better than yours!" I called back. Sasuke jumped too, and landed right in front of me.

"Yeah?" He asked. I growled back.

"Yeah! First one outside, wins!"

"All right... GO!" He shouted, jumping down the tunnel ahead of me. That cheating bastard!

"YOU CHEATER!" I shouted, and jumped after him. Oh, he wasn't getting away that easy! It didn't matter what form we were in, I was still going to beat that stupid Bastard!


Andoryuu

Okay... Spider-form. Yeah. It's weird. To be honest, I can't really go much more indepth than that for the simple reason you'd kind of have to be there in order to truly appreciate it. Eight legs, eight eyes, your skeleton on the outside, your muscles based on hydraulics rather than leverage... Suffice it to say, it's very, very strange. Even for me.

My students seemed to be adjusting a little easier, though I suspected Naruto's excitement was only because it was temporary. However, him awakening Sasuke's natural competitive spirit seemed to be helping my most broody student to work with it.

Sakura stuck close to me, looking terrified and disgusted. At least Jorougumo's jutsu had allowed for some translation between the two forms-I could read her facial expressions just as well when she was a spider.

"Hey, relax, it's only temporary," I told her as we scuttled down the corridor. Sasuke and Naruto were far up ahead. Jorou Spiders and Crab spiders weren't really built for high speed jumps. Actually, the normal ones couldn't jump at all, but gaining sentience and having access to chakra changed that for most summon spiders.

"I know, but it's still..." She shuddered. Ringumo, walking nearby, looked back at Sakura and smiled.

"Aw... Don't worry, Sakura! You look great, you know!" She sighed. "I'm actually kind of jealous, you have such a nice opisthosoma!"

"A-A what?" Sakura asked.

"She's complimenting you on your ass, Sakura," I explained. Sakura's pedipalps worked in a frenzy, signalling her embarassment.

"SENSEI!"

"What? It's something spiders look for," I said. Ringumo nodded.

"Mmhm!" She patted her own backside. "Thanks to you and Hinata I have a really nice one! Well, for a human anyway..."

"Um... Well... Thanks?" Sakura managed.

We made it out of the palace and outside, on top of the massive tree. The clouds had blocked out the sun, but there didn't seem to be any sign of a storm. Sasuke and Naruto were arguing about who had won their race.

"I totally won!"

"In your dreams, Deadlast! Even as a horrific affront to God I'm still better than you!"

"Fuck you Bastard, I am so much better! After all, I'm the same species as Ookami, and have you ever beaten him?"

"Oh yeah, like you're one to talk! When was the last time you beat him without spamming explosives like a loser?"

"Fuck you, Firebreath!"

"Okay, okay, enough!" I shouted. "Look, we really should get going, and arguing isn't going to get our mission done any sooner."

"So, this does count as a mission?" Naruto asked, switching gears instantly. I did the spider equivalent of a nod.

"Yes, it does... Or rather it will. I think a high level diplomatic mission to a valued ally of Konoha will look favorable on all your records, myself," I said. Sasuke considered it. Sakura looked interested.

"Besides, Jorougumo likes you all. Now, that's quite the honor," I went on. "There are very few humans she does like. And I like her too... Mostly," I muttered. "In any event, this is a great opportunity for all of you, and we need to keep focused. So, don't screw up, all right?"

"You can count on me, Sensei!" Naruto crowed. "Just as long as I get to learn some really cool stuff!"

"Well, when you put it that way... I guess... All right," Sakura said.

"... If I didn't want to go, what would happen?" Sasuke asked.

"You'd stay here as a guest of Jorougumo's until we returned," I replied. Sasuke shuddered.

"... Fine," he said, with a glance at Naruto. After all, if his self-proclaimed rival was going, no way was Sasuke going to miss out. "But this had better be worth it."

"Come on, come on! It's ready!" Ringumo cried from above us. We looked up and saw her climbing up the palace, heading for the very top of the tree.

"Huh? What's ready?" Naruto asked. I scuttled to the wall and began to climb myself.

"It's pretty simple. On foot, it's a week's journey to the Mizugumo's territory," I explained. "But, there's a much faster way to get there."

"What?" Sasuke asked, as he, Naruto and Sakura all followed me up the side of the golden palace.

"Focus your eyes on the tip of the treetop," I advised. "Look very carefully..."

The sun shined through the clouds, and a golden line of silk became visible. It stretched from the top of the tree, far off into the distance.

"Woah..." Naruto muttered.

The top of the palace was a circular chamber, also made out of silk, that was guarded by several Jorou males. Two of them were in what I immediately identified as Indian Sun Spider morphs-Very big, very fast, very nasty forms that were good for combat. They all saluted the moment I came in.

"Andoryuu-sama!"

"Andoryuu-sama!"

I nodded to them, returning the spider version of a salute-Kind of a bow with your fangs extended.

"Gentlemen, good to see you," I said. To be entirely honest, I felt a lot more at ease around Jorou males. Granted, they were no less dangerous than the females but spidery instincts identified them merely as "potential rivals" and not "those who will eat me after sex".

"The line is ready!" One of them reported. "The guys at the Mizugumo station took a lot less time than we thought."

"Thank you," I returned gratefully. I then narrowed all eight of my eyes... Yeah, we'd gotten eye lids too. "Reigumo?"

The male gave me the spider equivalent of a smile. "In the flesh, Andoryuu-sama."

"Hey, how have you been?" I asked happily.

"Good. I'm in charge of the Webline section now," he said proudly. "But I wanted to see you off myself, you see."

"Well of course! I'm sure you'll do well," I said. Reigumo's smile grew.

"Only because of what you taught me."

"Aw, come on, it just comes naturally to you guys," I said modestly. "So, shall we?"

"Of course... And these are your students!" He smiled in turn at them, his eyes resting on Sakura. "Oh... I had heard you had a female, but I was not aware she was so beautiful."

Sakura gaped. Naruto scowled. Sasuke actually smirked.

"Well, um... Thanks... Really... Um, this isn't my usual form," she stuttered.

"No, but it suits you," Reigumo said.

"HEY! COME ON ALREADY!" Ringumo shouted from the top of the sphere. "STOP TAKING UP EVERYONE'S TIME, REIGUMO!"

"Annoying brat," Reigumo muttered.

"I HEARD THAT, BIG BROTHER!"

"Anyway," Reigumo said, "you all know how to travel by webline, right?"

"First time for my students," I explained. Reigumo nodded.

"All right... Come with me," he said. He scuttled up the sphere, and we followed him. We squeezed through a hole at the top, and emerged in the open air.

The top branch of the tree had been bent and secured into something like the support for a ski lift, and wrapped tightly around it was the line extending far into the distance. Ringumo, now in spider form, was producing silk and wrapping it securely around herself. Reigumo scuttled in front of us, and pulled out a line of his own silk.

"Okay... Just produce some silk, and wrap it around the back and front of your legs. Do not wrap it around your middle, that might get you cut in half," he said, as he demonstrated. "That done, produce some more silk and twist it, like this, and then tie it onto the right side of your harness."

Ringumo, having finished these steps, scuttled over underneath the webline and threw the silk over the line, and tied it to the left side of her harness.

"Then, you get directly under the line, throw it over like so, and tie it to the left side," Reigumo finished. "Only jump off when we say so, not before, got it?"

"So... Does everybody travel like this around here?" Sakura asked.

"Most spiders do," Reigumo said. "However, not many spiders use the Palace station. They usually zip to one of the stations in one of the trees around the Palace."

"Ah," Sakura said.

"Around here, it's the only way to travel," Reigumo said cheerfully. "Andoryuu-sama came up with it."

"Oh no, I just saw what you guys were already doing and I suggested expanding the network," I said. "Come on Reigumo, quit the sucking up."

"Sorry Andoryuu-sama," Reigumo said with a grin. "But Mom told us all to treat you very, very well..."

"Yeah yeah," I sighed. "Well! You heard the guy, my students. Get ready."

"So... How do we make silk?" Naruto asked.

"Hm?" Reigumo asked. "Oh, right, you're humans. Okay... Um..."

"Focus your chakra around your butt, and imagine it squeezing," I suggested. I demonstrated, unbothered by the peculiar feeling. Wasn't any weirder than hydraulic muscles.

"Okay... So... Like thi-AAAAHHHH!" Naruto shot forward, slamming into me as his spinnerets fired with massive force.

"OOF!"

"Ergh... Not exactly," I muttered.

It took a few tries, but everybody figured out how to work their spinnerets without turning them into lethal weapons. It took thirty minutes for them all to learn how to make the right kind of silk though. Finally, we were ready, and standing in a line, harnessed to the very long webline stretching across the forest. We were expected to jump off the edge of the platform. It was rather like parachuting, I reflected.

"Now, we're going to accelerate you by signalling to the other end to give it slack," Reigumo said. "But be careful not to directly touch the line."

"Why not?" Naruto asked.

"The friction is pretty intense at those speeds. You could lose an arm if you're not careful," Reigumo said. Naruto gulped, and nodded.

"Right..."

"Now, when you jump, curl into a ball. It'll minimize the air resistance and keep you from losing anything," Reigumo continued. "Keep your eyes forward-When you see some big red signs, you'll be decellerating so be prepared. Only uncurl when the guys at the other end tell you to, all right?"

"Okay!" Ringumo said.

"Roger," I said.

"All right," Sakura said.

"Got it," Naruto said.

"Hn," replied Sasuke, but he nodded in acknowledgment.

The line slackened, just a little, and then a lot, seemingly dipping beneath the trees.

"Okay... Jump when I say so," Reigumo said. "Three... Two... One... GO!"

Ringumo jumped first. "BLAST OFF!" She cried.

"GO!"

Sakura gulped, but scuttled to the edge. She looked down and shuddered.

"I-I-!"

"Dammit Sakura... Naruto! Give her a push!" I commanded.

"Right!" Naruto called. He jumped forward and headbutted Sakura in her abdomen.

"NARUTOOOOOOOOO!" Sakura bellowed, in a mix of fear and rage.

"GO!"

"YEE HAAAAAAA!" Naruto called, jumping ahead. "WOOOOOOOOOOO!!!"

"... You're all insane," Sasuke muttered.

"GO!"

Sasuke steeled himself, and jumped off the edge too. Reigumo nodded.

"Good luck, Andoryuu-sama!"

"Thanks, Rei," I said.

"GO!"

And I too jumped, falling fast for the forest floor below. The slight angle adjustment did little to negate the acceleration, and I curled into a ball as I had been told. The forest blurred around me, and I never felt as close to flying as I had right then and there. Even treehopping had little on the sheer speed I felt.

It really was like a roller coaster, and even if my body was different, it still felt like my stomach was falling down ahead of me.

The whole trip took about thirty minutes. Now, to a human, going that fast for that long would be hell, but as a spider I took it without any real problems thanks to my exoskeleton.

The line began to tighten again, and I felt myself slowing down. The red signs were large painted leaves in some of the nearby trees. Already, I could feel the difference in the air. It was more humid, and cooler near the swamps.

The station was in the hollow of another great tree, and was illuminated with lamps. My speed had dropped from around a hundred miles an hour to about five, and then zero as the line I was travelling on became thicker, producing more friction.

"All right, release!" Cried the Jorou spider manning (Spidering?) the station, and by stretching my legs, I was able to break the knots of the harness. I landed easily on the padded floor of the tree hollow, and looked over at my students.

Naruto was energetic, waving all of his front legs and calling out "That was awesome!" "Let's do it again!" and "Dattebayo!"

Sasuke looked stoic, but slightly embarassed. Sakura was a shaking, nervous wreck.

"N-Never again," Sakura muttered.

And Ringumo, of course, was joining Naruto in chanting "Let's do it again!"

I turned and nodded to the station attendant. "Thanks for that," I said.

"Good luck on your mission, Andoryuu-sama," the old spider said, almost gruffly. "You know the way?"

I nodded. He nodded back.

"Take care then," he said.

"All right kids... Come on, time's a wasting," I said. I turned and scuttled out of the tree hollow, going down the trunk. My students and Ringumo followed.

"That... Was the worst thing I have ever done," Sakura shakily said.

"Are you kidding? That was GREAT! Can we do it to get back home, Sensei? Huh? Huh? Can we?" Naruto asked.

"Sure Naruto," I said, as we reached the ground. I looked around, and immiedately recognized the barrier between Jorou Territory and Mizugumo-A river, with a long web and wood bridge across it. Mist rose over the river, obscuring the other end of the crossing.

"Woah... So, that's where we have to go?" Naruto asked. I nodded.

"Mizgumo territory," Sasuke murmured. "Doesn't look inviting."

"It never is," I replied quietly. Nevertheless, I headed forward.

The bridge was wide enough for all of us to walk on it comfortably, and didn't sway in the slightest. The wooden posts that suspended it above the water were decorated in simple pieces of hornet paper, which fluttered in slightest breeze. Add on the lanterns that were sparsely placed and the whole bridge seemed ghostly and ominous.

Which was kind of the point, actually. You see, the river below was moving too fast for spiders to run on, and I hadn't started my students on water walking just yet. And setting up a webline across this distance would be difficult. So the only real way to cross into Mizugumo territory was via this bridge.

Well, that's how they had thought before. They probably thought differently now.

The guards on the other side of the bridge were the first Mizugumo any of my students had gotten a good look at, and Sakura's gasp summed it up. They were big. Dwarfed my current form by at least three times. They wore specially-crafted armor, steel plated shaped to conform to their bodies, protecting their abdomens and their heads (actually called the cephalothorax). Their pedipalps were encased in sharp, metal daggers-Very deadly close range weapons.

"Halt! Who goes there?" One guard called in Japanese.

"Tsume Andoryuu, Spider Sage," I called back. "And party!"

The spiders froze, and I could see the fear in their eyes at my name. I have to admit, I felt a little satisfaction at this. My Other felt a fair amount of guilt.

You are a spider!

Yes, I am… But believe me, I would not make that claim lightly, I returned, in the same language issued.

Further silence.

"What business do you have?" The second guard called.

"I am here to meet with your ruler, as part of the maintaining of friendly relations between all clans of the Spider Realm!" I called back.

The two guards conferred with each other, before one of them ran off quickly. The remaining guard called out to us.

"Follow me!"

I nodded, and took the lead. My students scuttled after me.

"They know you well, huh?" Naruto asked.

"Yes… Very well," I said quietly.

The guard paused every few moments to look back at us. Spiders can't really turn their heads to look over their shoulders, so instead he held up his knives to peer into the reflection they offered, like side-view mirrors on a car. Each time, I kept my expression neutral.

The sounds of activity soon hit us, and the lights of a town peered through the mists. We caught sight of other Mizugumo, standing in front of wooden buildings.

"A town…?" Sakura asked. She looked around, probably weirded out at how… Well… Human the architecture looked. It resembled a fairly standard, old school style Japanese town. Paper walls, sloping roofs, sliding doors, the works. The only difference was, of course, that the inhabitants were all giant spiders.

The female Mizugumo were dressed in silken cloaks, of all colors and designs. The males too bore cloaks, most of them black. On the tops of their heads, the males wore tattoos, denoting their status in society. Since they molted to grow, these tattoos changed every time they grew. The Mizugumo valued merit above everything else, and how well you did in a chosen profession determined what kind of tattoos you bore.

The guard led us to a honey shop, and had us sit at a table. We got a lot of looks. The older males and females all stared intently at Ringumo and myself, and I couldn't blame them really. Still, they knew enough to give us our privacy.

"Please, wait here," the guard said, and he headed off into the street and vanished from view.

"Wow… That's nice of them," Naruto commented.

"It's just so it's easier to keep watch over us," I explained.

"That's something I wanted to ask you about, Sensei," Sakura said. "Those guards… They acted really strange when you mentioned your name."

"Like they were afraid," Sasuke said.

"Eh? Well… I guess they were kind of anxious," Naruto said.

"It's because Ando-kun was their greatest enemy during the war," Ringumo piped up.

"Enemy?" My students asked. I sighed, and shot Ringumo a look. She looked a bit sheepish.

"Sorry Ando-kun… I thought they knew… I mean, everybody here knows who Ando-kun is," she said.

"So it's not just the Jorou Spiders?" Naruto asked. "You're famous everywhere?"

"Not everywhere," I said quietly. "Here, well…" I gave the spider equivalent of a shrug. "Here, I'm infamous."

"As what? A great hero?" Naruto asked.

"No… A war criminal," I said flatly.

My students stared in disbelief. I sighed.

"Look… Long story short. When my sensei dropped me in here years back, the Mizugumo were at war."

"With the Jorou Clan?" Sakura asked.

"With everyone," Ringumo said. "They wanted to take over the world."

"Before, they were the superpower, essentially," I explained. "But my sensei directed them to spread their empire all over this world. They were the strongest fighters, the best warriors-Most of the previous Spider Summoners joined their clan when they signed the contract because of this."

"Ando-kun, however, got adopted into our clan when he saved me and my little brothers and sisters from being eaten by some Mizugumo troops," Ringumo explained. "And he led us in combat."

"So, you guys won the war?" Naruto asked. "Sensei's a great general?"

"Mmhm! He taught us how to use our shapeshifting as our greatest weapon!" Ringumo said cheerfully. "It's what let us make the Mizugumo surrender, and sue for peace. It's also what let us become the dominant clan."

"How does that work though?" Naruto asked. "I mean, my Sexy Jutsu's really great, but how does turning into different things let you win a war?"

I looked around under the table, and reached out my legs. Using the claws on the tip of my legs, I carefully picked up a tiny creature crawling in the shadows.

"Know what this is?" I asked.

"It's a mite," Sakura identified. "It's a really tiny arachnid..."

"So, it's like a little tiny spider cousin?" Naruto asked. I nodded.

"Yes... This world is crawling with them. They're everywhere, you can't get away from them. And there are hundreds, if not thousands, of little creatures like them all over every square meter of this world, and ours."

I paused for a second, the sounds of the quiet crowd outside reaching us in the inn. Mizugumo walked by-Mothers with their children, young males boasting of the size of their catches, old males sipping honey on porches, and of course, the warriors keeping watch.

"And at any moment," I resumed, "any of these creatures-Dozens of them-might turn into Jorou warriors. Warrior who then turn into giant sunspiders, scorpions, hornets, frogs, or tarantulas, who then kill you. Slaughter you right in your own home."

I put the mite down on the table. It scuttled about, mindless of our conversation. My students stared long and hard at it. Sasuke was the first to look up.

"No wonder they hate you so much," he said.