Hello! If for some reason you missed chapter 6 be sure to go back and read it, or else you'll be really confused.
Arthur and Francis stumbled up the stairs of the run-down apartment building. They were laden with boxes upon boxes of whatever they thought would push Alfred to his breaking point.
"You are really going through with this, mon ami?" Francis asked, breathing heavily.
"Of course I am! I won one million dollars. I want it."
Francis sighed. "What room was it?"
"4G."
But Francis needn't have asked, for the door labeled 4G swung open to reveal a smiling Alfred. "Artie, my honeybumpkin! You're home!"
Arthur stretched his face into an unnatural smile and imitated Ms. Umbridge from Harry Potter as he said "And good to be home, loveytrumples!"
Alfred took the cardboard box from Arthur, Matthew peeking out of the apartment behind him. "Let me get that for you, sugerbear!"
Arthur dug his fingernails into Alfred's hand when he took the box, but kept oozing sweetness as he replied, "Thanks, bunnylumps! You're so strong and kind!"
Matthew was practically chocking on the sarcasm, and moved to the side as the two newly-weds went into their home.
"Oh mon cher~" Francis called. "Wouldn't you like to help me with these boxes?"
"No way in hell."
Inside the apartment, Alfred and Arthur continued their lovey-dovey charade, both wanting to rip the others throat out. Arthur began extracting the items from the boxes, unloading unicorn upon unicorn and placing them in odd places all over the house.
Once he was done, he spread a flowery table cloth over the strange bar-like kitchen table, smoothing out the creases. He was setting up a quilted "HOME is where the HEART lies" picture when a voice dripping venom interrupted him. "Boobookins, what is all of this?"
Arthur turned around and found Alfred's eye twitching. He smiled outwardly.
Arthur: 1
Alfred: 0
"Oh, just to lighten up the place a bit."
Arthur moved into the bathroom and began placing strange things on the shelves (provided by Francis, of course.)
Arthur smiled when he heard Alfred wince and whisper "not the bathroom!"
Once Arthur was finally done antagonizing our American boy, he took a good look around the place. It was small, but that was expected. Arthur knew Alfred didn't have a job. There was a small kitchen that didn't have matching counter-tops and the bathroom directly off from that. The bathroom held only a sink and a toilet, with a very old bear-foot tub rusting in the corner.
There was no real color scheme or design, especially in what Arthur could only label as the 'living room'. It held one patchy plaid couch and a 1980's TV, complete with the antennas.
The first thing Arthur noticed is that the place was filthy. In his haste to torture his new spouse, he had not noticed the old gym clothes, pizza boxes, beer cans, and unidentifiable objects strewn about the room.
Arthur noted a pile of porn magazines by the TV, and for the first time Arthur wondered if Alfred was even gay.
But why should he care?
"Where's the bedroom?" He asked instead.
Alfred smiled, and bowed. "Right this way, ma'am," He said, causing Arthur to snarl.
He walked over to a wardrobe and pulled open the doors.
Arthur had to jump back when a large cot fell out, almost crushing him.
"You have got to be kidding me."
Alfred smirked.
Once night rolled around Francis and Matthew left (they had stayed for the show, but dinner had become dangerous for their well-being.)
Alfred and Arthur were left to face a very awkward situation alone.
After a whole day of fighting, there was no way either of them wanted to be within ten feet of the other, let alone sleep with them.
"Go ahead and take the couch." Alfred murmured, throwing a pillow and blanket at Arthur.
Arthur threw them right back. "No way in hell! You sleep on the couch! The bed is mine!"
Alfred shrugged and walked over to the old monster. "If you insist."
Arthur nodded, turning around. That had gone easier than he expected. He looked down at the bed, and saw why. It was covered in stains from who-knows-where, and there was random items strewn in the sheets. Arthur shuddered.
"It's not too late to switch, sugar." Alfred called from the couch, where he was snuggled comfortably.
"Dream on, you prick." Arthur growled.
Twenty minutes later, Arthur was armed with Lysol and rubber gloves. He was slowly disinfecting the mattress, hoping he could at least sleep on a clean base.
Alfred was chuckling somewhere in the room.
"Shut the bloody fuck up."
I hope my double update was enough to console you from my MIA last night. Thanks to all of you who have reviewed and subscribed!
Sorry for any mistakes, I'm American!
[edit] I have been corrected on the name of the Harry Potter character. MY BRAIN LIES TO ME. LIESSSS.
-Mallory
