Greetings my friends, we have achieved a new chapter finally. I have to say I have a reason to take double the time than usually: you can't possibbly imagine how it feels to almost make a complete chapter and then realize that there is actually a "massive" plot hole and you rewrite more than half of it xD

Nice job with the story planning eh? *distant claps sounding*

In any case here we are up and running.


25th Heartfire 4E 201

Last night the darkness hung upon us when we arrived in Ivarstead, surrounded by frozen mist. It's a small town with only several buildings around: the biggest one being the Inn, in which we spent a night repacking essentials for the oncoming climb. Multiple times I noted only a few year-around persons living up here if not counting the guard garrison. I've already seen many pilgrims making their way up to the seven thousand steps that rise up the mountain. Comfy little place.

I recall a lot around here and sometimes I've been curiously watching the Shroud Heart barrow. It's the first Nordic ruin we have properly seen during this trip so far but no draugr sightings yet, or a ghost for that matter.

What comes to my injured arm, it's still giving me problems without mentioning the burnt skin trying to peel off. The look is not appealing - without Gair and his potion, it would have been much worse. Believe me, when I say, the stuff includes some pretty nasty ingredients. Some things are better to not know if possible. The burn is now neatly bandaged and I can catch proper sleep without the ache but alas, it'll leave a permanent scar I'm afraid.

In these days my mind keeps wandering away. I've thought a lot how the little boy and his family were doing. After the dragon attack, nothing has been exactly the same. It's a dull feeling that seems to paralyze my thoughts every time I dive into them or address a matter. (not so much chatty are we) Even my usual wit is running dry. More often than not my interests are around the Graybeards, despite how much I want to avoid the subject.

It all seems so close now when we are about the climb the steps. If they know something about how I ended up here, or have a clue how to fix everything that happened, my time in Skyrim would be closing in.
I even hate to admit it to these pages, but the thought is making me feel less happy than before. I wanted to get back home and I still do. I've been injured, in danger, disliked, dragged and forced to fight for my life but then why I'm so uncomfortable?

I watch Gair sitting on the other side around the table with his usual mead mug that is at least his third one. Then there's always the drunken idiot who wants to pick a fight with him until he finally got enough and threw the coward with a piece of a chicken leg. I'm writing and holding in a laugh at all the ridiculousness. You know, things I think I'd learn to miss if I were to go away.


A bitter wind blew across my face when I pulled the wool cloak tighter around my perfectly chilled body.

Gair in the other hand seemed to be fine and marched forward like a freaking tank. Made me question if the problem was actually on me and not on him. A layer of icy snow scrunched and compressed under our boots foreshadowing the oncoming tight minus degrees. The sky cleared on top of us so at least for now it wasn't snowing. The man gave me a look and took a few minutes before opening his mouth.

"You don't happen to be cold, do you?" he pointed towards a curve and we started to climb part of the ancient stairs barely visible under the soil.

"Nope, definitely not"

I was sure he saw me striving against the shivers and I cursed in my mind. We weren't even near the top yet, as I witnessed the areas without snow far behind us. Yet every inch of my soul already tried to send me a long list of wrong direction messages.
"You sure?" He kept pushing. Gair sounded annoyingly convinced and I glanced sharp daggers at him, making up a strong pout.

"Yep, completely sure!"

"...Mhmm'm" the Nord let out a neutralized hum, climbing further on the path.

Something else frozen manifested itself and I'm not talking about the environment. After minutes and minutes of silence, our conversation didn't take us any longer than that. I focused myself to resist the weather and casually kept an eye on the Dragonborn. I knew his communal race brothers were practically born out of snow but seriously: the guy didn't even have a cloak and he seemed to be busy enjoying the views. Which were high by the way. I had a bad feeling in my guts and the sound of nothing in my ears.

Eventually, during the trip, the air became thinner and thinner as we ascended up. I swear, these stairs were the invention of a devil himself. Devil stairs. They forced me to work out, my thighs and calves got the most of the exertion around. After a significant amount of time I got enough and told Gair to stop before I'd disintegrate my muscles.

Out of breath and facing the new heights I haven't used to, I found the nearest flat rock. Wiping the frozen substance away on top, I sat letting out some extra pressure from my lungs to calm down. Meanwhile, my hands massaged those parts that almost cramped while admiring the sights I saw, as scary as they were pretty. A puff of steam from my mouth faded up to the crisp air.

"I guess we could take a break then." Said a thoughtful voice behind me while the man folded his arms and approached closer. His unwillingness was there anyway. I wrinkled my nose at him, pretending to be offended.

"I guess, I'm not asking for your opinion.", I huffed and reached out for my bag to take a piece of dried meat to bite. Snack is always a welcomed addition. He made a wry smile that seemed to cut his face in half.

"I guess, I shouldn't expect anything else."

Cool sarcasm, I guess.

Gair drifted on the side to check out his snow-covered boots. Soon it would be too cold to stay in one place but I wanted to take a rest. The Graybeards weren't going to go anywhere. They had time to wait, so I was ready to suffer a few extra minutes in the freezing temperatures when I silently moved my wholesome attention at Gair.

I'm not sure if I am the only one aware of this, but during these continuous hours of climbing, all of our tries for conversation died away. All of it. It's not like we used to talk all the time anyway but when the atmosphere changes, you can't ignore that. Not even a single usual debate happened, which made me uneasy. I didn't like it, no matter how less annoying it would be.

Everything suggested the mountain tried to act as an obstacle I had to cross, in order to return connection with him or what was left of it. Right now Gair just kind of closed himself and be it on purpose or not, I had no idea why.

The placidness of the moment got broken by far away wolf cry, until few others joined in the howl, depicting a sound of threat. When I finished the meat, swallowing the last piece I raised my ass from the cold seat. Took steps to stroll next to the brooding man figure. For the first time in a while, I actually watched him and his calm sight directed somewhere away from here. I followed his mark. The man looked like being deep in thought. Heavy swallow went down my throat as I prepared myself for talking.

"I've had a little bit of curiosity in me recently" I faded the last words and tried to shield myself from the blowing gust on edge of the cliff we stood together. I continued.

"If you remind yourself of the dragon incident that happened the other day..." my thoughts started flowing. "You did a nice job out there but I was wondering since we left, why? Why did we leave so fast."

Turning my body to face him, Gair shifted on his place giving me at last his attention. He waited briefly before answering and during that moment looked at me in the way, that transferred emotion. I only didn't know what kind.

"Why not? What more you think I could have done there?" the man huffed boldly, eying me. "I don't expect you to understand. There are as many reasons as people, but I can tell you something" pause. "What am I?"

The question surprised me a little as my expression turned more into wonder but I went along confused.
"What are you? Umm, you are you maybe?"

"And that means what? What. am. I?"
"The Dragonborn?" The man nodded and signed me to finally continue walking, even tho we kept going on with the discussion one stair at a time.

"If you saw those people at all - acknowledge them for a moment and you realize how much they actually care" the man kept going. "If I hate something, it is pretentious bastards and that's all most of them really are."

Hard words to say. Slight worry passed on to my face.
"...but you are a hero, Gair. You saved them, even if some might have a bit too much to take in at one go. They do have faith in you."

A sudden flash of anger turned on his face out of nowhere as his eyes darkened, narrowing down. It made me thoughtful on my own but I didn't have time to react to his strong voice.

"Is that how you see me? Makes me wonder, how is the difference between you and all those sheep!" the man snapped and tensed his walking after turning around. I caught up with him trying to get back my previous position and slowed Gair down by grabbing his shoulder before he could complain.

"No no, please don't get mad" my words launched themselves behind him. I began to figure out the thought process - Gair's feelings about being a Dragonborn were damaged for one reason or another. Against everything he would've expected, I threw him a tiny smile if not so happy in the first place. The last thing I wanted was to ruin this thing. I was so close.

"You have a burden to carry but I want you to consider that you wouldn't have to carry it alone. You know how people are so they put similar things together and sometimes..."
I had to take a break to breathe as my tone went more hushed than intended.

"Sometimes they forget that even if your soul is the same, your mind is not."

The last part came out falling like a feather. In a way he was right. I haven't been exactly much better than anyone else and the string of shame colored my face. Maybe I had said too much but wishing he'd catch my hidden apologies behind words, I left the topic to hang as we traveled forward in the upcoming snow. The Nord continued his way idler but I was unable to read his face anymore. He gave me nothing.

"I am the only one who can carry that burden" Gair mumbled under his breath and quite sparsely used the tone of his voice. Gave me an unfriendly cue he'd be done talking about the subject.


Wading through the thick layer of snow falling through the skies, we made it forward in the dangerously closed in storm. The weather changes were uncharted in these areas and the distant wailing made a sense of desperation creep upon me.
Throughout traveling, I had lost the track of time, unable to assume how long ago it was we actually started the climb. Menacing clouds gathered all around and the raw breeze tore its way through my clothing.

It reminded me of no matter what I did, the tiny ice particles invaded every extra space that showed skin. That and more.
Seeing straight turned out to be almost impossible or at least challenging during the blizzard. Flying ice bit my cheeks and the cold emitted to my bones as I could barely even walk.

I squeezed my arms near to the rest of my body and tried to convince myself to keep them warm. Useless efforts. Eyelashes heavy from the piling frost, my nose hair seemed to freeze as well when I satisfied the need to breathe. I didn't even know I had nose hair, before storming through the final parts of the mountain. We kept crossing the icy peaks, going towards uphill. Regardless of the cloak flapping behind me, my whole face burned and dried from the biting cold.

After Gair had killed one rampage wolf out of our way, we arrived in an icy pass. In these hours my steamy breath had become superficial this high and even the last enjoyable view disappeared within the storm.

"I'd hate to complain, but how much more do we have to walk!" I grit my teeth, exclaiming through the howling wind and frowned eyebrows at the scenery in front of us. Even Gair had some type of problems proceeding but he pushed forward.

"Just get going!" he snarled and sped up the pace for my downfall. I fought to put more force into my muscles which battled against the humongous snow layers. Fingers on my hands were completely out of feeling. They stopped hurting like hell good ten minutes ago, making me guess melting them would hurt twice as much. Frostbite wasn't a good condition to have.

After a time feeling like forever in the frigid hell and my face wet with melted snowflakes we finally arrived at the last phase of the path. Something huge and dark placed itself up there. Right in this spot, I couldn't tell if it was day or night anymore when the whole nature tied up to be the same shade of gray. The scenery though made me forget the storm.

There was something stopping in the way the building blended into the ground and skies alike.

Above us next to an open cliff there stood a monastery built from ancient mountain stone. The high towers raising on the front and etched stone dragons carved above the giant doors, I let my gaze fall to it in astonishment. At the same moment, it seemed to stand there lonely and peaceful - on the other hand again intimidating and unmoving. Something in this place evoked respect inside me. At last, we had come all the way here, me for my own purposes and he for what I'd be soon finding out. Butterflies tickled the insides of my stomach.

"Come on then! I'm not going to stand here the whole night!" Gair scowled his voice muffled and I let him go up the stairs first, passing the lonely lantern burning behind a wooden supply chest. Without waiting for any invitations he pushed the heavy, metallic door open with huge various creeks. We slipped in from the gap as quickly as possible.

When the entrance closed behind me abruptly everything became silent.

My eardrums had been already used to the sounds of the storm whistling and now standing where I was, only distant drumming could reach here. The only vague thing still reminding me of the journey was my frozen, shaken body conveniently receiving some warmth from the fires burning further ahead. The dark corners of the oncoming hall reeked mysterious vibes.

The Nord turned to face me before we moved anywhere from the entrance. He'd suspiciously check few times that no one happened to be in nearby range and I waited, confronting his eyes.

"Here's the deal girl. The Graybeards won't appreciate outsiders in their monastery, they won't be happy about this but since we know your case is..." He turned to sulk for a second. "...at least unusual I believe they will speak. Regardless your job is to wait here, I'll return with their master." Without leaving me any choice I agreed to this kind of arrangement. After he left walking towards the many corridors on the other side, I took liberties to examine the place.
I needed to focus on something when cold sweat pushed through on my palms. I found myself unable to stop fidgeting with the tips of my hair.

The big hall, decorated with many arcs and Nordic carvings left me a lot of space to look at. I noticed the floor design, etched with familiar patterns and I recalled the twitching feeling I once experienced. When I walked into this place for the first time. Yet I've never been here before.

All this as the Dovahkiin of course, but now the place was much more alive. The familiar tight knot made its return in my stomach and I found myself nervously pacing down on my place in front of the open room.
Around five minutes passed and my ears perked themselves when I started to hear footsteps echoing from the corridors I couldn't see. Soon enough expecting my own anxious feelings, I saw first Gair reappearing into my view. Heart skipped a beat.

After him, an old man in layered robes came down the stairs as if they'd been made of clouds. When my eyes met his, I could notice something ancient in them - different from what I had seen when I figured Gairs identity as the Dragonborn.
This type of vibe was calm, a dormant power. As the face of the master depicted that of an elderly person, this wasn't the case of the orbs that stored the tenderness of his knowledge.

He stepped forward, staying in the moderate distance as Gair stood by his side only slightly closer to me. They both drilled their looks on me. It was clear this was all my responsibility to go through since I knew someone else could only speak for me that far. Although now the current displeasure on Arngeirs face was clearly thrown against him.

"You should know Dragonborn that we do not bring strangers to the monastery. What is this, If I may ask?", the younger Nord just laid down his eyes seemingly not offended by the question.

"I'd advice to ask her. In my opinion, whatever she has to say might interest you." without hesitation Arngeir led his immediate attention to my side. He seemed willing to listen but with uncertainty.
"I can not remember many times when other than those worthy have stood inside our halls here. You may call me Master Arngeir." while stopping myself from feeling guilty, he continued with less blaming tone and lowered his head.
"However, you do not stand here for nothing I assume. We do not deal with mundane business going on down there. What is it that you seek from the Graybeards, child? What is this matter that I could possibly take interest in?"

Rare doubting thoughts crossed my head when I felt a spike of unpreparedness strike me but I decided to not give in for it. Making my keen sight roam in both men, I spoke loud enough so they could hear me.

"It is an honor to meet you master Arngeir, my name is Bria." I managed a tiny bow to express my respect. At the same time, I couldn't believe that I actually spoke to a real him, wanting to make the best of it.
"I'm well aware of the customs of the Graybeards and I can convince you about the fact, that I wouldn't be here unless I really had to. The thing is I've come across a need for your help..." I tucked a piece of hair behind my ear. "...or advice. Exactly what do you know about portals, master Arngeir? Portals leading from one universe to other?"

After my question, a small moment of silence fell and somehow I found myself interested in Gairs reactions through this conversation.

"Portals are not strange to our knowledge. The world consists of many planes and layers, but from one universe to other? Whether a thing like that could exist? In theory, it is possible, but unheard of - why would you out of all arrive here to ask such a question for?" Arngeir gently placed his hands together and examined me somewhat curious now.

"For because I fell through one. I didn't exist here until some weeks ago when I accidentally met Gair.." taking confidence in my position I continued

"I come from a place much different than this. A place that shares the knowledge of NĂ­rn through the times, all in books. My only need is to find out how to go back home and I thought, perhaps you could guide me in the right direction. I don't belong in this world but I know more than you could think of."

Type of surprise arose to the face of the Graybeard and I took my liberties to come closer to them. I knew they'd doubt me but when I explained what I needed, the dead-serious face couldn't fail. As much as I saw, even Gair raised his brows in softer, wondering expression.

"I assure you, this is no joke."

Arngeir directed his gestures towards me.
"By the Shor. I have to say this is not an explanation I expected. If it is true, do you have anything to prove that your claim is real? Anything at all?"

I bit my lip while I thought about something.
"Other than my knowledge, I don't have anything more, so ask me anything. Ask me something, that would be impossible for someone like me to know. Like, actually impossible."

"Hmm.." The old man remained silent for a moment until he launched his voice across space. "Tell us the name of our grand master."

A flash of half smile shot from me to the Dragonborn so I could make sure he'd absorb this in. I didn't want him to miss the piece of cake I was about to shoot.

"He's called Paarthurnax and he lives in seclusion, in the highest point of Throat of the World. There is a passage to him in the back yard, protected by icy storm and it can be only opened with a Thu'um to clear the skies."

Conveniently I didn't feel like revealing that he was indeed a dragon, as even Gair shouldn't know this and I guess I wanted to save the surprise. It wasn't the right moment and also I didn't want to get too cocky.
"Was that specific enough?"

After I finished my sentence, even the Dragonborn looked like I'd hit him with a frying pan, hence I believed if he didn't trust my word before, now he had to. There is no way I could have visited High Hrothgar to know any of this, even if I was from here, and the master of the Graybeards turned to his side.

"I can swear to you by the divines Arngeir. I have never told her anything I know about this...this is not my doings" the Nord spoke staring straight at me. The Graybeard nodded, piercing me with his sight as well.
"The most curious thing I have encountered in a long time nor ever. Very wise from you to seek our help, regardless if we can provide it or not." he paused for a second.

"Now you mentioned a portal but of what kind?"

Convincingly I started to explain the statistic of the way I had encountered, a round white mist showing a spectrum of colors. Even talking about the intense, blinding light. Other than that I didn't know anything except the momentary experience of falling.
"Walk with me, both of you." the old man said and waved for us to come forth. We crossed the hall, entering the dark stone corridors. Everywhere I could see hallways and open rooms, meditation places for the monks to use. The whole indoors breathed calm energy from the slumber it bore.

Arngeir led us to a cranky, wooden door that opened itself to a small library. A collection of ancient tomes and scrolls, rested on the shelves and for what I saw, few of them being written with the Dragon tongue. Pieces of dust floated around against the light.

He picked a black old book from the middle, dusting it first before opening.
"Tell me, Bria. Are you aware of what are the stars in our realm?"

"They say, stars would be..." Scratching awkwardly my neck, I thought for the right name which for whatever reason I had a hard time to find "..holes to Aetherius don't they?" confirming my answer, I waited for him to say it.

"Yes. Holes, you could call them permanent ruptures between this world and Aetherius. This is just a hypothesis since we really do not know but due to the light you describe, it could be part of the same realm."

My brains finally kicked in, partially an expression of wonder I felt.
"Only with two ways that is" I gasped. the Graybeard glanced at the Dragonborn like he'd be making a conclusion how he fit in all of this. Then he turned once more to continue the search he made from the tome.

"There have to be powerful forces, someone or something in work to open such a manifest. Or perhaps the opening could be a coincidence, which...I highly doubt. There is not much to go on here."

Arngeir riffled the pages of the old book for a moment, clearly reading until he decided to put it back where it came from. He stated to us that the other Graybeards were already waiting and we had to make our way back to the great hall. I was devastated. Was this it, nothing else? Come on!
Of all this time I didn't hear Gair speaking a word, only his expressions changed from time to time reflecting what he heard. While we left behind the library and closed in on the corridors, Arngeir continued the phrase he hadn't apparently finished before.

"You seem very disappointed. But regardless if it is a coincidence or not, I'm afraid we can't tell you how to open one of them. The only problem I am finding for you, even if you could manage to discover a way back, could very well be the World-Eater."

My guts went sky high with this statement but this time Gair came forward faster than me and he sounded even more blown away than I would've. Not in a good way.
"What? The black dragon? How exactly is he a problem? What does he have anything to do with this?" I saw him crossing his arms in defiance.

"That is, what I'm about to tell you Dragonborn. In ancient times Alduin possessed many powers, even doorways to other realms- to feed, gain power. As the firstborn of Akatosh, he is much more strongly tuned in the currents of time than any other dragon, hence he is capable of sensing changes in it. I'm afraid even if you had access to such a portal, you would risk getting yourself devoured. Stepping straight into his way now, that he has awoken active would be..." His eyes sparkled in a manner that almost seemed amused if I didn't know otherwise. "...foolish"

I swear my brain tissue turned one hundred and eighty degrees into the back of my head right there. I couldn't believe it. I just couldn't. The fact was another that they didn't have a clue how to get me back home but even with a way, a black scary lizard is by any chance about to eat me? How great is that?

For the first moments, I didn't even know how to feel or what to think anymore. I blinked as my mind dropped somewhere between numb and melancholy. Legs took me ahead like an undead, as I grew silent trying to hide my face.

The whole trip I had made so far to here for what? Hell, even climbing the mountain wasn't easy but currently, I couldn't have much time for sentimentality. I saw all the other three Graybeards lined up in the middle of the designed floor pattern. They seemed very receptive but otherwise avoiding my individual presence in the chamber unlike Gairs. I left myself on the stairs out of the way, listening but still very non-focused. I saw only the individual shapes of the people, leaving my mind blank. I wanted to extract myself from this universe, literally and figuratively.

I felt a piece growing up in my throat.

"So...have you done as I told you to?" the master of the Graybeards addressed Gair, who calmly stood in front. He gave him a deep nod, while I barely heard what would happen next. In this point, I had a feeling I'd gain a piece of information I asked myself long ago if nothing else.

"I did," he answered without any particular emotion, sour as a lemon.

"Without demonstration, your abilities should have grown in proper length by now but this we will find out. I have only one task for you to complete in our tradition. All the others before you have taken the same task and it will end your official training. Go to the tomb of Ustengrav where lies the first founder of the Graybeards, Jurgen Windcaller. Retrieve his horn and bring it here."

"Is this the thing you discussed with me before? As you wish master, but could you explain to me one thing?" Gair tapped the hilt of his sword impatiently.
"Wouldn't it be possible for you to teach me more words of power by yourself. It's not like my enemies wait for me to be ready, as you would put it." Shaking his head Arngeir gave a clear answer.

"Even with your inborn abilities, it would be tremendously dangerous to grow your powers too fast without experience. The most important thing you need to focus now on is the task ahead and nothing else."

He certainly noticed the dislike coming from the younger Nord but stayed his mind as it was. He nodded. "What comes to you both, you may stay a night in here as you are. After that, Gair you know what to do and please if you wouldn't bring any more visitors."

Deep sigh reached me.

I couldn't help but notice that the relationship between Gair and the Graybeards was very not-special. He had respect for them as I'd never seen before but on the other hand he was like a delivery boy for their tasks and Arngeir insisted in perfect preciseness. Although what else could you expect. still, I happened to know Gair hated when people told him what to do and when. Anyway, something there was missing, something that I couldn't point my finger at.

He dismissed himself, dragging me alongside to the end of the back corridors possibly a bit more moody than usual. There were small circle stairs leading down and beneath the floor a room that he pointed to me. I took a fast step ahead, pressing down the old, rusted handle. When entering the simple space I saw a tiny stone table with a drawer and that was pretty much it besides an old carpet.

Not exactly a sleeping beauty style.

It had taken me a while to realize my own tiredness from today. We had been climbing the mountain, the steps and I could swear my legs were in the peak of giving in, now that I came to be in absolute calmness. I had no need to be active hence I should see how well we walk tomorrow, we being me of course.
In over exhausted manners I laid my ass on the bed, just staring somewhere down to nothingness. Remark number one: the Graybeards clearly didn't trust me. While I didn't wonder why there had to be things they weren't telling and this boiled my brains.

Coming all the way here to hear half-truths wasn't in the list of my appreciation, while they wiped away my most of my chances with nothing to replace it with.

I wasn't aware if I actually expected some kind of solution to my problem but now when I finally didn't have any, it all meant very little. As much as I wanted, it became impossible to push back all the feelings I had piled up somewhere inside me. Being occupied all these days with other things always distracted me from the facts, whatever piece of a task had always been there to make sure I didn't. think.

Now I found myself missing my home to be mentioned here. My thoughts reached everything that I had left behind for the first time and fear passed through my troubled mind. A fear that I had forced away for weeks.

I was terrified, that I would never find a way to get back again and now it all sunk in like a Titanic after hitting the iceberg. My iceberg was right here, they didn't have answers for me. No one in this world would have, I was supposed to know that!
Somewhere out there I had a life and one day a portal threw me away from it. Or no, I threw myself away from it - for that place I had disappeared god knows for how long. I painted a picture of police looking for a missing girl who would never turn out. I suppose there are a lot of people like that.

My eyes blinked twice, feeling something wet between my eyelashes as tight force pressed my chest inwards. All the feelings in me went full tornado between sadness, doubt, and anxiousness.
Leaning on my knees with elbows I became vaguely aware from the corner of my eye, how the man stood in the middle of the room watching at me. He had done something with our stuff, placing it around but I had missed the whole moment by drowning myself in it.

"How are you doing?" leading the toned down question at me, Gair slowly placed himself next to me. Sheets ruffled when he sat. I only shook my head a little, biting my lip. "I'm fine, I just.." couldn't find words for it while trying to look okay. I held back tears in the best of my ability. "I was thinking. That's all."

The Nord removed his sight from me, guiding it to the same spot I personally tried to murder with mine. "I'm not really fine" a broken whisper left my mouth. There was a second when we glanced at each other.

I heard him take a heavy breath before he started speaking.
"It's funny actually, I was doing some thinking as well on my part" he slowly convinced. "I may not know either how to open mysterious portals, but I might have something else that could help you, or at least get you forward on it."

Without essentially listening to his words, something random happened to me and at the moment my sadness turned to anger. I punched my fist to the mattress so hard it shook my arm.
"Even the Graybeards don't trust me! What is wrong with everyone and everything, I never asked to be in here!" I snapped, refusing to contemplate on it.

Gair wasn't shaken by my sudden mood swing.
"I never asked to be in here either but by whatever will of the gods I am. The Graybeards go only to their extent, they're old men sitting in a monastery! If you lose all hope, you've already lost the battle"

Sulking but listening, I questioned his words and straightened my posture. I took a breath.
"But, how?" were the only distracted words that I could say in this minute. The man gave me a few reassuring taps on my shoulder and showed me a hint from a grin.

"It's simple really if you think about it. We just need to find a way to stop Alduin from doing whatever he's doing."
"We need to?" I stated way less depressed compared to my previous sentences. "What was that, did I hear correctly?"
"Well, I could possibly need some help from a tough girl like you, since you seem to be almost fireproof. Comes handy."

A bunch of unplanned chest laughter burst out of me and I finished it with a smirk that eventually faded away. I discreetly wiped my eyes and still, somehow I saw my attitude lifting up little by little.
"Since you put it that way." I tapped my cheek a couple of times while pretending to think hard. "I guess I could accept, you know. Although there is one condition..."

"I am intrigued to find out what could that possibly be." Gair transferred a glance with me.
"I am so not going to sleep in the same bed with you. You snore like a dragon."

Entertained chuckle snorted from his direction as the Dragonborn made a mischievous face.

"Ooh, so that's the only reason you won't and otherwise you would? Have fun on the floor!" He finished dramatically. "...or better stop me from snoring then"
"Yeah, I'll sing a song and choke you out with this pillow when you sleep" I threw the cushion at him and it bounced from his back to next to the wall. We had a little fun there.

A calm second broke our moment when we ended up a tad happier than before.
Eventually, I let the situation go down and without saying anything else I went to grab the rest of the food. We had gotten new supplies from Ivarstead so no one would have to starve here. I figured the man decided to keep lazy today, so from his usual request I passed him his portion of meat and cheese. Some thoughts occurred in my mind now that the worst situation was over - I was really going to do this.

I had to go along with him and the other side of the full-length plan was, that he actually let me.

Thinking outside the box, I found this adjustment far more pleasant than I'd have imagined. Yet it wasn't alone because he was my only chance of returning. Even the awkwardness back while climbing was gone and with all the bad, shady moments with Gair, I started to like his company. Somewhat. Sometimes obviously. Not always, definitely not always that is crazy, he still annoys the hell out of me. Like that time he stepped on my toes in a cave.

While munching away I picked up my own journal to focus myself at something. I had been writing every day something, some days more and some less. In any case, the whole recording of my own brain activity started to form as a habit that I gladly did.
While fiddling few broken pages here and there, Gair casually started to remove his armor one strap at a time. He went all the way down to take off everything except his pants and the sleeveless, dirty shirt he kept under. After he was done, the man dropped down onto the bed like a Scandinavian hunk.

"You've been hassling around that book for days now. What are you keeping that junk for?" insisting voice asked while Gair - ah so manly - stuck his feet in a cross position. Swallowing a piece I kept my attention down but answered him anyway.

"This junk happens to be something that is quite not your business but I write in it."

"Write what exactly?"

"Stuff! What part of not your business you didn't get?" I rolled my eyes at his tough head, deciding to put away my work for good. After the final time of checking my bandage, I managed to do the similar removal of clothing. The stone room wasn't the warmest, so I turned out more than capable of sleeping with them on. And besides what I said before: we didn't have any other choice but to sleep in one single bed. Unfortunately.

In the positive side the mattress seemed to be larger than normal size for one person. Ignoring the Nord and taking a comfy position, I blew out the candle and placed myself somewhere on the edge, facing emptiness. It was time for a nighty night. Dozing off, One. Two. Three...

More time passed.

Moments went forward like a slow forest river with my personal train of thoughts. As much as I tried and as much as my muscles relaxed, I couldn't bring myself to sleep. Even with the exhaustion, I had to be always so close but at the same time so far. The slumber refused to occur. The only thing I could hear on my other side was the calm breathing of the man who definitely had fallen asleep a long time ago.

Frustration tortured my body and for my own interest, I invented a decision out of nowhere. I carefully placed my bare feet on the cold stone and threw away the blanket. This was probably crazy.

As quietly as possible I snuck to get the candle leftovers and quickly throwing my blue tunic on, I made my way in the dark to the door. This one was tricky to get open without making too much noise and sudden sharp creek made me cringe. From outside in the corridor there burned a torch where I lit my candle while finding the stairs up, the same stairs we came down. Steeling my placing memory, I continued with the task on hand now completely alone.

In the middle of the night, High Hrothgar was creepy - didn't have other words for it. Creepy and ghost-like. It's not like there were so many light sources in general but in triple dark everything turned to this shadow festival. The dance of fading light made my guts turn around every time I came across any kind of statue. The tiny candle flickered in the breeze as my light steps made an echo.

While wandering around I almost lost myself in the endless passes until finally, the light hit the correct door. The same wooden door we'd crossed before with Arngeir. Library door.
Turning my gaze around, I listened if I would hear anything outside of normal but when the way seemed to be clear I pulled the handle. Slipping in, the old library opened in front of me and I knew exactly what I was looking for.

Quickly moving in front of the first shelf I started to read through titles and scrolls to figure out which one was the book Arngeir looked up before. I had mentioned before that the Graybeards didn't trust me - even if now I knew about the possible danger, I wanted to take the matters into my own hands.

"Hmm, maybe this one.." I muttered and stood on my toes to reach a compact, gray book with fabric covers. It was less heavy than you'd have expected compared to the size and the pages were yellowish indicating aging. After going through a few pages though, I found out for my disappointment I had grabbed the wrong book. This one had many things written in Dragon tongue instead, which I didn't have time to check up.

Without giving up I continued searching, running my finger across the covers in halfway. I swear I saw it around here.

"The one you are looking for is in the upper shelf"

Araspy voice floated in my ears from the doorway and I spun around in shock. Nearly dropping the candle my whole body jumped, startling myself. Arngeir stood in front of the door, his hands united under the robe and his face motionless. I only stared at him in an unsettling way, realizing I was very much caught in action. Somehow it didn't feel that much bad as I had expected afterward.

"I would advise though, that there won't be anything else interesting for you" he continued stepping completely inside the stone arch confronting me but I refused to be intimidated by him.

"I know you don't exactly fancy me here Arngeir" pressing my lips against one another I straightened my back. He placed his head down with a gleam in his eye corner.

"Stubborn, as I suspected. You're well acquainted with the Dragonborn. Should I also suspect that your impossible knowledge extends far more than only names and places hm? Trust doesn't come by with that." I made a wry expression, approaching the Graybeard few steps as if to make a statement.

"The things I know are not something I should discuss. Besides I am not exactly in need of your trust. But it would make me very annoyed if you happened to keep any information that could possibly help me, so how is it?"

Arngeir raised his hands in defense and against the odds, the other corner of his mouth raised upwards for a second. I clenched my fists together as his eyes seemed darker in the dim lighting.
"Do not take any offense in my words child, as they weren't meant that way. The only advice I'am able to tell you, that by great chances you are yourself the best advisor you may have. Perhaps you know more than any of us - where does it take your conclusions? Perhaps you were meant to arrive here and it is up to you to discover why."

As a response I shook my head, my arms crossed across my chest. Pacing around for a few steps in an impatient manner I gave my all to it.
"Sorry, not sorry but I don't have time for this nonsense. I'm doing what I must"

"Don't we all. That I never doubted" the Graybeard stated, glancing around until the peaceful quietness broke by his word. "As it is time for me to part ways now, you have four hours until dawn. Good night and good luck."
Arngeir made an absent-minded wave and hummed silently before I saw the back of his robes disappear into the embrace of the shadows once more. I was left to stand on my spot shivering, alone and in silence but even more determined than before.

If nothing else I knew I wasn't leaving empty-handed now.