Lord Kuchiki lifted his trusting zanpakutō from the stand and clad Senbonzakura to his obi sash before he turned to blow out the lamp in his bedroom.
The sun had yet to rise above the horizon by the time Byakuya walked out of his respective room in his full captain uniform, yet there were already lights coming out of many rooms in the Kuchiki Estate.
"Takeshi," the lord called in a tone that was not any louder than normal yet loud enough to alert the man who was his chamberlain, since after the second his name was called, a man who was around the same age with Byakuya appeared in front of the nobleman, kneeling respectfully.
"You called for me, Kuchiki-sama?"
"Yes," Captain Kuchiki replied. "Kimiko-sama wishes to go to the temple today to listen to Prince Monk's sermon. Since I was assigned to guard around of the Great Hall of the Grand Temple, I cannot escort her myself, so can you accompany her in my place?"
"Certainly, milord," the man replied. "When does she wish to leave the mansion?"
"That, you will have to ask her yourself," Byakuya noted. "By the way, I'd be off duty by five in the afternoon, so tell Kimiko-sama that I will pick her up and escort her back to the mansion if she were to remain at the temple by then."
"Yes, milord, I shall inform her that. Is there anything else I can do for you?"
"No, Takeshi. That will be all. I'll be off now."
With that said, Byakuya headed out of the Kuchiki Manor.
"…hello one, two, three. Ohayo, ichi, ni, san. Hola, uno, dos, tres…"
Renji looked carefully at his captain once that line repeated itself through loudspeakers that were installed outside of the Great Hall where the Sixth Division was assigned to guard, interrupting the normally calm leader of the Sixth Division for the third time since the man tried to give order to his subordinates.
"Should I go over to wherever the control room is and ask Kurotsuchi-fukutaichō to stop?" the lieutenant offered.
If months of serving under Rukia's brother taught him anything, it would be how to tell when the nobleman was riled up underneath his serene mask.
While Byakuya felt his head throbbing and wanted that irritating sound testing to stop, the Captain of the Sixth shook his head.
"Don't waste your time, Renji," said Captain Kuchiki. "The woman only answers to Kurotsuchi Mayuri."
Renji grinned goofily and scratched the back of his neck.
"Oh well, you're right, taichō, but it's better than just standing here and listening to her repeated line, right? I mean, seriously, at the very least she could change her line every once in a while instead of repeating that same thing over and over."
To that comment, Byakuya seemed to be a little less annoyed and a tad more amused.
"At least she uses three different languages instead of one," Byakuya commented, "although that does not mean—"
Byakuya's speech was once again interrupted by the sound that went through the loud speaker; however, this time, it was someone else who spoke.
"Shut it, Nemu, you're giving me a headache with that sound testing of yours! All loudspeakers and microphones are working just fine, so go check something else."
"Certainly, Mayuri-sama…"
Byakuya glanced at the loudspeakers that went silent after broadcasting the voice of the head of the Twelfth Division scolding at his lieutenant. Then Lord Kuchiki turned to his crimson-haired lieutenant.
"I suppose our problem is already solved."
"Yeah, I think so." Renji shook his head wearily. "So what was your order again, taichō?"
Byakuya closed his eyes for a moment as though to get rid of the headache that Nemu's sound testing had caused him earlier.
"Take a team to patrol around the Great Hall again then report back within thirty minutes. The advance team of the Royal Guard should arrive in an hour, so I do not want them to be able to say that we miss anything," said the captain. "Also, arrange more men to watch over the wishing well. When I checked it this morning, there seemed to be more people there than we first anticipated."
"I'll do that right away, sir."
With that said, Renji bowed and left to pass the captain's order.
After having patrolled around the assigned area, Renji led some of his underlings to the wishing well that Byakuya mentioned earlier. He spotted a huge crowd of women by the well, nagging at the others and trying their best to get as close to the well as possible.
"Well, there really are many people," Renji mumbled to himself. "Jeez. What is so good about this wishing well anyway?"
"It's believed that if you make a wish then toss a coin into the well and the coin turns head, you will soon meet your soul mate, get married and live happily ever after."
Renji jumped and turned around once he heard a playful feminine voice replying to his question from behind.
"Y-Yoruichi-san! You scared the hell out of me," the lieutenant exclaimed. "How long have you been standing there? And what's with the dress?"
The last question was asked since Yoruichi was not wearing her usual attire that resembled the uniform of the commander-in-chief of the Secret Mobile Corps but instead she was wearing a blue flower-patterned kimono with coral fukuro obi.
"What about it?" Yoruichi returned, looking down at her own dress then back up at Renji's crimson eyes. "Can't a woman dress up every once in a while?"
"Well, yes, but—" Renji scratched his head. While Yoruichi made a good point, it was still weird to see the woman in that womanly dress.
Yoruichi seemed to be able to read the younger man's thought, so she smiled smugly and remarked, "Oh, don't be shy. I know you just want to praise my look, so just say it. I'm beautiful, aren't I?"
Renji swallowed. That was definitely unexpected.
"Um…yes?"
"See? It's not that hard."
The lieutenant of the Sixth Division could only blink before he finally asked, "By the way, what brings you here, Yoruichi-san? I thought you're not on guard duty today."
"Just like every other lady out here, I'm here to make a wish for a good husband," Yoruichi replied in a feigned dreamy tone. "You know, I'm pretty worried lately since I'm still single and all."
Yoruichi put on a fake troubled look and even added a dramatic sigh at the end of her sentence.
Seeing that Renji started to look like he was forced to eat food that he hated, Yoruichi decided to continue, "I even take a lot of coins with me, so I can keep tossing in case I can't get a head at my first try. But it seems I won't be able to get through the crowd to toss my coins anytime soon."
Not only did she claim so, Yoruichi also pulled out a pouch and waved it in front of Renji's face to prove her point.
"Maybe they're doing what you plan to do, Yoruichi-san, keep tossing coins until one turns head," Renji commented. "Though, I really doubt you really wish for a head here."
Yoruichi tilted her head and gave Renji a mock innocent look.
"Why would you even think that?" asked the head of the Shihōin Clan. "I really want to find a good husband and get married. I'm so desperate that I can't wait for anyone to propose and have to send out invitations to hundreds of men to my Swayamvara Ceremony."
Renji looked carefully at Yoruichi. It was not the first time since he met the lady that he wondered if she had taken wrong medicines before she got out of her house.
"Come to think of it, you turned down the invitation, didn't you?"
"Yeah, I did."
"Aw, that's too bad. Why do the young and handsome ones always refuse? So far only old men and crazy men accepted."
"Um…I'm sorry?"
Yoruichi sighed. "And I was planning to slower my pace for you."
To that remark, Renji gave Yoruichi a look that seemed like he was about to die. "You are not serious."
Yoruichi laughed. "Of course not! That was a joke. Don't tell me you've worked under your captain for so long that he manages to drain out all of your sense of humor."
Renji sighed and gave Yoruichi a goofy smile as he rubbed the nape of his neck.
"Yeah, well, that seems to be the case, doesn't it?"
"You're so fun to tease," the lady commented then she frowned slightly. "Well, maybe as much fun as Ichigo, but definitely not as fun as—"
Yoruichi suddenly stopped herself.
"As…?" Renji prompted somewhat curious.
Yoruichi's response was a cryptic smile.
"Anyway, is it really alright for you to be here speaking with me, Renji?" the lady changed the subject. "Aren't you on guard duty today?"
Once again, Renji's eyes were widened; however, this time, it seemed to be because of the dread.
"Oh, shit! Sorry, but I've gotta go now."
"Yes, yes, go ahead," the lady said, waving her hand as though to shoo Renji off. "I don't want to be the reason you get scolded by your captain."
"See you around, Yoruichi-san."
"Just go already," Yoruichi prompted. "Don't worry about me, I'll just stay here for a little while and see if I'll be able to get past the crowd to make my wish."
Renji gave the lady a quick bow before he rushed back to his post. The noblewoman chuckled at the lieutenant's reaction then she turned to look at the well and wondered if she should really try to get through the crowd of those old maids to make her own wish.
Yoruichi was still by the wishing well when a long convoy of the Crown Prince passed through the gate of the temple and headed towards the Great Hall where the preaching would be held. While the women who had been tossing coins into the well were still there, they were told by the shinigami of the Sixth Division to be quiet and bow down when the Prince's convoy had passed.
It took several minutes for the whole procession to get to the temple, especially since everyone was stopped and asked to leave their weapons outside the Great Hall, for the only person who was allowed to carry any weapon inside was the Crown Prince himself.
Kurotsuchi Mayuri, who was monitoring the whole event through all television screens that he stored at the Twelfth Division's headquarters, gingerly stood up from his chair.
"Hmm…it'd be boring to simply sit here and watch everything," he noted. The blue-haired scientist looked around for a moment and when he couldn't see his artificial daughter anywhere, he called out, "Where are you, Nemu?"
Swiftly, the lieutenant of the Twelfth Division appeared right next to her creator.
"I'm here, Mayuri-sama."
Mayuri glanced at his daughter. "Oh, good. I'm bored of just sitting here monitoring the whole city, so I'm going out for a bit. Can I trust you to take charge of all this?"
"I shall do my best, Mayuri-sama," Nemu replied robotically. "May I ask you where you are heading?"
"Just in town to run some experiment with my new drug," Mayuri said and pulled a small glass bottle that was filled with wine-colored potion out of his sleeve.
"In that case, have a successful experiment, Mayuri-sama."
Mayuri glared at Nemu. "Don't say something stupid. Of course, it would be successful. Have I ever failed at any experiment?"
"No, Mayuri-sama, you have not."
"So don't say that stupid thing next time," Mayuri said. Then he had an evil smile when he looked at the glass bottle in his hand. "This potion will work without fail."
"May I ask you what kind of potion that is, Mayuri-sama? I do not recall giving you a hand with that potion."
"You will know as soon as I'm done with my experiment," said the captain. "Now stop being such a nuisance and do your work already."
The robotic lieutenant bowed and replied impassively, "Yes, Mayuri-sama."
Mayuri rolled his eyes at his daughter's reaction before he finally left the Twelfth Division to "run some experiment."
Yoruichi had a bad feeling in her stomach, though she doubted it had anything with the food she had for breakfast or the fact that it was getting hotter since it was almost noon in Seireitei.
The thought of leaving the wishing well and getting inside the hall to shade from the sun was getting more appealing with every minute that passed by, but the shape-shifter decided to stay put for another while.
That was, until she sensed a malevolent aura coming closer to her direction.
Lady Shihōin instinctively went on guard even though her posture might not have changed much under an untrained eye, so when the blue-haired captain suddenly appeared behind her with a bottle of red potion in his hand, she quickly darted away from him. Although she was slightly curious as to what kind of game Mayuri was playing, she believed it would be safest if she never found out.
Since Yoruichi had used flash-steps and escaped before the crimson liquid could reach her, the fluid was splashed towards the old maids who were making wishes at the well instead.
"Oh my, I missed," Mayuri cried as he realized that he missed his target. "This is very troublesome. Why couldn't that woman just stay put for a second longer?"
Not paying attention to the people that he splashed the potion at by accident, Mayuri searched for Yoruichi with his eyes, and once he finally spotted a flash of the lady's blue kimono, he quickly dashed after her.
Meanwhile, the women at the well were looking around in fury.
"Who splashed that water at—" all of them yelled and then they trailed off at the same time before their eyes suddenly become hazed as if they were spellbound. "Mayuri-sama. Where is my Mayuri-sama?"
Those women glared at each other once they heard what the others said. "Who said Mayuri-sama was yours? He is mine. MINE!"
"No, Mayuri-sama is MINE! You'll never get a chance with him!"
The shinigami who guarded the area were about to come in and stop the commotion when all of those women suddenly looked at the direction where the captain of the Twelfth Division had just gone off to.
"There he is!" they all screamed. "Wait for me, my beloved Mayuri-sama!"
With that, all the women who were accidentally splashed with the red potion that Mayuri had carried with him ran after the wicked blue-haired captain while singing his name, leaving the shinigami who were guarding the area to exchange a look and wonder, "What the hell has just happened?"
Since she didn't know where else she should run to, Yoruichi decided to run to the nearest place, which happened to be the Great Hall of the temple, hoping that for some reasons, the twisted soul of Kurotsuchi Mayuri would not be able to get inside a holy ground.
The captain of the Twelfth Division was also hot on her trail, trying to sprinkle the potion at the lady only to miss and splash it on innocent passersby instead.
Since she was too busy looking back to make sure that she left a good distance from Mayuri, Yoruichi didn't realize she had already reached to the Great Hall of the temple until she bumped into the ebony-haired noble whose division was assigned to guard the area.
"Oh, sorry," she said quickly and tried to brush past him into the hall; however, Byakuya moved to block her way.
"Are you carrying any weapon?" he asked as though he didn't notice that she was in a hurry.
"Oh, right, the safety protocol," Yoruichi replied, looking back once again to see if Mayuri was still chasing her. Seeing that, the captain of the Twelfth Division was still far behind, Yoruichi was relaxed enough to reply in a teasing manner, "No, I don't have any weapons with me, but if you don't believe that, feel free to frisk me, Kuchiki-taichō."
Yoruichi opened her arms as a gesture for Byakuya to search her body for concealed weapons.
Byakuya gave the lady a disapproving look before he took half a step back and beckoned at one of his female subordinates to do the task.
"And I was hoping you'd be the one who frisks me," Yoruichi said playfully after the female shinigami quickly searched her body and retreated after finding no hidden weapons.
Ignoring Yoruichi's tease, Byakuya stated blandly, "You may enter."
Glancing at the direction she came from, Yoruichi saw a flash of blue hair and a white robe, so she was no longer in the mood to stay and pester Byakuya. Nodding at the nobleman, Yoruichi quickly went into the Great Hall.
The preaching had already been going on when Yoruichi entered the Great Hall. While she didn't get to the area where Prince Monk was since the Crown Prince was there and many guards were surrounding the place, she could still hear the preaching since the Twelfth Division had installed loudspeakers around the place earlier so that everyone who entered the temple could hear the sermon clearly.
There was still no sign of Mayuri following her in there, so Yoruichi decided she would sit among the people and listen to the preaching. After all, as freaky as he was, Mayuri probably wouldn't dare to perform any stunt in public…
…or would he?
Shoving her pessimism aside, Yoruichi looked around the room for an empty seat to sit down. The Shihōin noble wondered if she would be able to find someone she knew and sat with them for a moment so that she could hide from Mayuri and then leave quietly later.
While she was still searching for someone she could join, the preaching was stopped for lunch break. Some of the people who gathered there also moved from their spots to get some lunch themselves. As a result, Yoruichi spotted a gray-haired woman in a dark purple kimono sitting all alone in the middle of the room.
Recalling who that lady was, the head of the Shihōin family put on a soft smile on her face before she approached to the woman.
"Greeting, Kimiko-dono," Yoruichi said as soon as she was in front of the old lady. "It's been a long time."
The gray-haired woman—now also known as Kimiko—looked up and smiled kindly once she saw the young lady who had greeted her.
"Oh, Yoruichi-dono, this is such a pleasant surprise. I was just talking to my grandson about you the other night," said the elderly woman. "Would you do me the honor and sit with me?"
"The honor is mine," Yoruichi replied before she gracefully sat down on the place the elderly woman had gesture. "By the way, did you come here all by yourself?"
Kimiko shook her head.
"No. I was accompanied by my grandson's chamberlain, but I told him to leave after he walked me here," the lady replied smilingly. "You see, I don't want to bore him to death by forcing him to stay here and listening to a preaching with an old woman. He should be off somewhere else, doing something more useful."
"But wouldn't that chamberlain be in trouble should your grandson find out that he simply left you here?" asked Yoruichi.
"Do not worry about that, Yoruichi-dono," said Kimiko. "Takeshi was just following my order, so if my grandson was not happy about it, he would have to speak directly to me, though I highly doubt that he would."
Yoruichi laughed quietly.
"I guess you're right. I seem to forget it sometimes that even though your husband is no longer the head of your family, you're still the most influential woman of the Clan Kuchiki."
"Not at all, Yoruichi-dono. I do not have any say in the clan's business, nor do I ever want to," Kimiko noted. "Since I was married to Ginrei-sama, my role in the family has always been a mere housewife, and even after Ginrei-sama's title was passed to Byakuya-sama, my role in the house still hasn't changed much."
Yoruichi gave the older lady an admiring look before she remarked, "You're always such a true lady, Kimiko-dono. As much as I'd like to try, I cannot see myself in that kind of role."
"That's only because we were raised differently," Kimiko said. "I was raised as someone who would spend her life as a housewife, while you were raised as a person who would become a leader of an influential clan. Though, I heard from Byakuya-sama that your clan is searching for the right suitor for you."
"Well, I guess that's one way to put it," Yoruichi replied as her mind suddenly went back to Mayuri and whatever it was that he was trying to do earlier. "I never cease to have a headache since that idea came up."
Lady Kuchiki laughed. "Men are quite troublesome, aren't they?"
"If you want to put it that lightly," Yoruichi mumbled.
"Anyway, have you had lunch yet, Yoruichi-dono?"
Now that lunch was mentioned, Yoruichi suddenly felt hungry since she had spent a lot of energy running away from the creepy captain of the Twelfth Division.
"No, I haven't," the shape-shifter replied truthfully. "Have you, Kimiko-dono?"
"No," the lady replied with a kind tone of voice.
"Do you want me to escort you out to get food or should I just go out and buy you something, Kimiko-dono?"
"Oh, thank you for your kindness, Yoruichi-dono, but that is unnecessary," said Kimiko. "The chef has packed me quite a huge lunch box. In fact, I was just wondering how I'd be able to eat them all by myself. If you haven't had lunch, would you like some onigiri?"
With that, the elderly noblewoman gingerly opened her lunch box and offered some rice balls to Yoruichi.
Since she was hungry to begin with, Yoruichi didn't bother to say no.
"That'd be great, thank you very much, Kimiko-dono."
Lady Kuchiki only smiled warmly at the head of the Shihōin family before she placed that box in front of Yoruichi.
"Please eat as much as you like."
While the two ladies shared their lunch, they could hear some noise on the outside. The usual smiling face of the elderly Kuchiki turned into a small frown as she shook her head disapprovingly.
"People should know better than to start a commotion in a temple, especially in a day like this," the lady commented. "You have just come in, so do you have any idea what is going on out there?"
Yoruichi tilted her head slightly and tried to listen to what the people were yelling, and she could hear a faint "Maaayuuriii, oh, my beloved Maayuurii-saamaa" from the outside.
With a grimace, Yoruichi remarked, "Yes, Kimiko-dono, I believe I do."
And what really went on outside of the Great Hall was that Mayuri finally reached to the Great Hall of the temple with a bunch of women who fell victims to the red potion that the mad scientist sprinkled around during the time he chased the Goddess of Flash trailing him from some distance.
"Wait for us, Mayuuri-sama, we love you sooooooo much!"
Mayuri turned around to look at the old maids that were fighting each other over him and grimaced.
"What a pain! The person I want to test this potion on got away and left me with these stupid specimens," the blue-haired captain sighed and tried to get into the Great Hall where he saw Yoruichi enter earlier.
"Where do you think you're going, Kurotsuchi?"
The question came in a nonchalant tone, and Mayuri put on an irritated look once he saw the man who uttered that line, Kuchiki Byakuya.
"What does it look like?" Mayuri returned. "To the Great Hall, of course. Don't tell me I'm not allowed to do that."
"You're allowed to enter," Byakuya replied, "as soon as you leave all of your weapons here. You, of all people, should know the rule."
Mayuri snorted and looked at the crowd of women that got closer and closer with every second that passed by.
"Fine," Mayuri replied curtly, pulling Ashisogi Jizō out and placed the zanpakutō on the table that was set right next to the door. "So can I get in now?"
Byakuya glanced at Mayuri from head to toe before he remarked, "In your case, I believe that your zanpakutō is not the only kind of weapon you carry, so please leave all drugs, potions and poisons you carry around with you here as well."
"What? Do you think I'd leave my invention to the like of you? Dream on, Kuchiki."
"Then I cannot allow you to enter," Byakuya stated.
"Tch!" Mayuri huffed but quickly dug out everything Byakuya mentioned and placed them carefully on the table. "These things are like my babies, so if I find out that you try to—"
"Do not worry. I can guarantee that no one in my division is stupid or suicidal enough to touch anything that belongs to you."
"Is this all?"
"Sorry, but I must—"
Byakuya didn't have a chance to finish his sentence when the women who were chasing after Mayuri had finally caught up with the captain of the Twelfth Division and suddenly jumped the man without any warning.
Instinctively, Byakuya flash-stepped out of the danger zone before he could be tackled to the ground like Mayuri.
"Mayuri-sama, I've finally caught you!"
"You're so cruel for leaving us behind like that."
"Mayuri-sama, please be my husband."
Although Byakuya thought he was prepared for all kind of emergencies, the scene that was revealed before his eyes still stunned him to the point that he couldn't decide what he should do but watch the scene unfold.
"Help me, Kuchiki!" Mayuri cried as he somehow managed to crawl out of the crowd of women that were trying to get their hands on him.
Byakuya blinked himself out of the temporary stupor then pulled out a small walky-talky.
"Six calling Eleven, Six calling Eleven. We have a situation here. Please send back up, over."
Before Byakuya received a reply from "Eleven," Mayuri struggled out of the holds of those old maids again. This time, he reached for the zanpakutō he had left on the table earlier, and much to Byakuya's surprise, Mayuri stabbed himself with his sword and suddenly liquefied.
"What? Where's Mayuri-sama disappeared to?"
"He must have returned to the Twelfth Division. Let's follow him there."
"Maayuurii-saamaa!"
And with that, those women ran off to the direction of the Twelfth Division without so much as acknowledging the stunned Sixth Division Captain.
Byakuya turned to look at his red-haired subordinate who didn't look any less amazed than he was. "Did you see what I just saw, Renji?"
Renji nodded quickly.
A voice from the radio in Byakuya's hand managed to make them regain their cool once again. "Eleven calling Six. Backup is on the way, over."
Byakuya looked at the radio transmitter in his hand before he pressed a button on the side and replied, "Cancel that. The situation is now under control, though I think Kurotsuchi has just committed suicide…over."
Trial and Error/End
A/N: My, this must be one of the most unorganized chapters I've ever written, which only proves that by the end of this story, I'd be as insane as my beloved Mayuri-sama. I hope the story is still entertaining somewhat, and if you have a few seconds to spare, please let me know what you think even if it's just one line saying that it's funny or that it's plain boring. ~Amaratta.
