A/N: The usual disclaimers apply guys - not JKR, not making any sort of profit, etc. I just want to thank everyone who has been reading my story, has written me a lovely review or put the story in their favourites or alerts list. It's wonderful to know that my story is enjoyed by others! Also just some quick self promotion - I've started on a new twilight story, so any fans of Stephenie Meyer's series should check out my profile page and follow the links, I would love you forever. As always, please R&R, I love hearing from you all.
...
It's like somebody took my place
I ain't even playing my own game
The rules have changed well I didn't know
There are things in my life I can't control
I feel the chaos around me
A thing I don't try to deny
I'd better learn to accept that
There's a part of my life that will go away
- If I Ever Feel Better, Phoenix
...
Part Two
The night was one of the longest I had ever experienced. I found it hard to concentrate on anything, school work or reading for my own amusement, because I was too worried about Kate. What if she hadn't come back? What would Ben do? How could I help him?
I sighed audibly in frustration and threw my copy of Quidditch through the Ages at the end of my makeshift bed. The cupboard under the stairs wasn't large enough to fit a real one, not that the Dursley's would ever give Harry or I one between us. But over the years we had improvised, and overwhelmingly being under here made me feel connected to Harry, even when he was so far away. I missed that familiar humming in my mind from his, the way he could always make me laugh, and how we could talk about absolutely everything and still have so much more to say. I knew my relationship with my brother was something Ben and Kate understood; being twins meant sharing absolutely everything of yourself with another person, and having this irrevocable connection with someone else, someone who wasn't just a sibling but also your best friend.
Most days it killed me to be without Harry. I hated that I couldn't see him, that there was no reason for him to come home and visit during the holidays, that all I got from him for a year were letters. I wanted to hear his voice and see those green eyes I adored so much. But tonight I was missing Kate as well, because I had grown to love her like you would an older sister. I knew she wasn't always forthcoming, and not just because of her job. It felt like she was holding something back and I only had my guesses as to what that something was. More than anything I was becoming increasingly sure that Kate's job for the Department of Mysteries had more to do with me Harry and I then she was letting on. I mean, Ben and Kate both said that Dumbledore wanted me in Slytherin because he believes Voldemort is still alive, and having me close to his followers could help us get vital information to protect Harry. Because if Voldemort gains his power back, that's what he will do – go after my brother and finish what he started almost ten years ago.
I didn't know enough about what grown up witches and wizards did in their jobs to have even an idea about what Kate could possibly be doing in Surrey. All I had was the feeling in the pit of my stomach telling me that I wasn't being told everything. But I had to trust that Kate would tell me when she could, like Ben had said. Trusting adults has never been something that came easily to me, not until that day I met Ben at the hospital. I can't say exactly that it was one thing or another that made me open up to Ben, but I will remember the look in his eyes for a long time. He looked at me as though I was worth something, as though I was someone other than a sister and a best friend. It was a feeling I had never experienced before, and something I knew was worth pursuing if I wanted any chance of having my own identity in the wizarding world.
It was almost eight thirty when I realised I hadn't eaten since lunch. My stomach growling in protest, I decided to see if there was anything in the fridge I could eat without Vernon noticing. During my perusal the front door opened and I shut the fridge hastily, walking over to the few dishes I had left on the sink earlier. As I put away the last of the glasses Aunt Petunia walked into the kitchen alone. Surprised at her arriving home alone, although I tried my best to hide that fact, I watched as she pulled out the pasta in the fridge.
"Would you like some pasta, Alex?" I wasn't too surprised to hear that my aunt's voice wasn't full of its usual malice. She often found it easier to talk to me than to Harry, especially if Vernon wasn't around. But I was truly surprised he hadn't returned home.
"I would, thankyou." I paused, unsure whether or not to continue. "You were at Mr and Mrs Polkiss' house earlier?" She flinched slightly, but other than that showed no sign that anything was wrong.
"Yes, I was. Vernon decided to stay and talk business with Mr Polkiss, and I needed to come home to organise some things for tomorrow."
It was only as she kept speaking that I noticed the slightly monotonous tone in her voice, and the way her eyes were unfocused and slightly glazed over. I went to say something, anything about this, when I noticed that her hands were fidgeting – repeating their movements meticulously, over and over again. Suddenly my memory was triggered, a distant thought almost making its way into my mind, but I was suddenly passed a bowl of pasta by my peculiar aunt before I could grasp the memory. I sat down at the kitchen table and began to eat, making sure to watch her as I did so. I couldn't be sure of what happened, but considering how I had felt near Mr Polkiss the other week, I was concerned. My aunt seemed unaware of everything going on around her, and it made me feel something for her I rarely had in my ten years, actually worry and sympathy, because she was my family. I had never thought of Vernon as being a part of my heritage of who I was, but Petunia was my mother's sister. And in that moment, watching as she had no idea what was going on, the look of obliviousness on her usually guarded face, I knew I had to take care of her.
I pushed her to finish her pasta, keeping her occupied on the food and casual topics of conversation. She even asked how school was going, which she has never done before and I'm sure will never do again. By the time she had finished dinner, Vernon still wasn't home but that wasn't my concern right now. I helped her to bed, assisting her to change into her nightdress and leaving the door open halfway so I could keep an eye on her. And that's how I spent the night, sitting in my aunt's bedroom door, leaning against the frame and keeping myself away worrying about not only my aunt but also Kate.
The next morning I realised I had fallen asleep in the early hours, and my aunt was still sleeping soundly. Vernon had not returned home, and I allowed myself a moment to worry about that slightly, before I realised I couldn't do anything about that now. I wasn't sure if she would remember last night at all and she would need breakfast anyway, so I made my way to the kitchen, intent on making something for the both of us. I was cooking bacon, eggs and toast when Petunia woke up.
"You're making breakfast?" I nodded, signalling she should sit.
"It's almost done. Would you like a tea?" She smiled a genuine smile that was rare on her face and I allowed one to grace my own as I served her breakfast. She looked pointedly at the remaining food and I met her gaze, confused.
"You need to eat something before school." I nodded slowly and served myself some food, but it felt dry in my mouth, like I could never chew it enough to swallow. Every part of my body felt tired and sore, and I was beginning to get a headache. Fortunately my aunt was still dazed and didn't notice that I was too worried to finish eating. I dressed quickly for school and left as early as I could, needing to know that Kate was fine, even if my aunt was not. Maybe Ben and Kate could help me figure out what had happened to her last night. The walk to school was quick, and I ended up half running. I halfway there I realised I hadn't packed any lunch for today, and I didn't get around to writing a letter back to Harry. Maybe I would have some time to do that today. But only if Kate was alright first. Only if she could help me.
When I entered the school grounds I ran straight towards the classroom, going past the tree I usually sat underneath in the morning to read, usually a charmed copy of Hogwarts, a History, so the other kids thought I was reading Pride and Prejudice. But I couldn't wait this morning. Panic was starting to set in and I just needed to see Kate, see that she was alive and fine and then I would know everything else would be okay, because she would know what to do. She just needed to be okay.
I burst through the classroom door, and gasped for breath, having ran the majority of the way to school. I almost didn't see Kate laughing at something Ben had said, but I did focus enough to see the both of them turn to look at me, concern in their features.
"I'm okay, Al." Kate said tiredly.
Looking at her closely, I could tell she was indeed fine. I couldn't see any bruises or cuts on her, and other than the fact she looked exhausted I believed her. I smiled widely and hurried across the room, not even thinking before I hugged her tightly. She seemed surprised and stiffened slightly underneath me, but quickly relaxed into the hug and returned it equally. My head lying on her shoulder I sighed easily, finally feeling relaxed. There was something wonderful about this feeling, of being hugged and cared for by someone else. This was the first time I had ever been hugged by someone other than Harry. It felt oddly comforting. Not that hugging Harry didn't comfort me, but that was all I usually had. I never felt like I would be hugged in my life by anyone else, so for this to happen made me feel... hope. That there was this whole future I could have beyond what I ever allowed myself to think of at night when I lied awake in the cupboard under the stairs.
"You look like you haven't slept again." Ben said softly as I held onto Kate. I nodded into her shoulder and she sighed.
"I hope you weren't awake worrying about me all night."
"Not just you," my voice came out muffled, but I knew they could hear me.
"Aunt Petunia came home alone last night and she was all... funny. She was very vacant; eyes glazed and voice slightly monotonous, fidgeting repetitively. She was even nice to me, heat –" I almost mentioned that she heated up the pasta, like it wasn't an every day occurrence by my guardian, and I cut myself off. They didn't need to know that I rarely ate at home.
"She was oddly nice. And Vernon didn't come home at all. She was still acting really weird this morning, and I feel like I should know what these symptoms mean, like I've seen it or read about it, but I just can't think." Ben and Kate had these concerned looks on their faces and I sighed audibly.
"This is about what you're doing here for the Department of Mysteries, isn't it?" I asked point blank at Kate and she nodded.
"Many of Voldemort's followers escaped capture and even identification after his downfall. Many we have tried to track, but there are still a few significant members from the inner circle that we only have vague leads on at best. We tracked two of the worst here to Surrey, and we have to assume that you or Harry are the target."
"How long have they been in Surrey?" It made me sick to think that Harry could have been in danger longer than we even knew anything about Voldemort and his Death Eaters.
"We can't tell for sure..." Kate seemed reluctant to share the thought, and I looked at her, truly looked in her eyes for a moment, and I knew she could tell I had to know this.
"But from the information we used to track them here, it looks as though they've been here at least seven years." I growled in frustration, my headache getting worse.
"Trust me, I know how unacceptable this is, which is why I insisted to be here with you this year. We've known Dumbledore a long time, and known about you for your whole life. I wanted to help him try and fix this, and I needed to make sure you were kept safe." I nodded, satisfied on that front for the moment.
"What about my aunt? Isn't it weird that this is happening at the same time you're off chasing Death Eaters? And Vernon didn't come home. He has never not come home." This time it was Ben that looked at me as though he was about to tell me my cat had died.
"It sounds like someone tried to wipe her memories, but hasn't done so correctly. The most effective memory removal shows no signs for years later, but the fact that Petunia is exhibiting adverse affects means that the caster can't use obliviate very well, or isn't very powerful. Either way, we can't do anything to help her or Vernon just yet, because this could have been done to flush Kate or myself into the open, and until we know what the Death Eaters' plans are, we need to wait. She still has her basic motor functions and memories, so it will only be superficial surface damage that she will recover from completely over time. We're just going to need time."
Time; how much of it did we really have? It's a question I had been asking myself every night for a long time now, and I wish someone, somewhere could give me an answer.
