"We had a deal," I finally mumbled back, enjoying the coldness of the pillow- but hating that his hand was still placed on my back. "And I'm not breaking that- the black haired man- Zack, took Sora out," his voice was calm, like he had rehearsed that line over and over while he waited for me to wake up- and he probably did. If you haven't caught on yet- the deal was I wouldn't say anything about him coming around- which was a big no-no, as long as Sora never had to see him, meaning he wasn't allowed around when Sora was around.

"Where's Cloud?" Sure I might have sounded like I hated Cloud earlier, but again- I didn't hate Cloud or Zack, I just didn't like their noses in my business, but anyway, I was genuinely concerned about what happened to Cloud. "He's sleeping…" His voice was eerily calm, "On the couch, knocked right out," his words sounded like they held some secret meaning- but I didn't really think too far into it.

"Why are you here Shuyin?" I sat up, moving away from him, his jaw opened and cranked to the side as his eye brow raised and he stared off into the floor and far wall- his face showing he was clearly annoyed. "Don't call me that." His voice didn't hide his annoyance. "Or what, you're going to hit me?" I laughed out, my own eye brows were raised in question as I watched his face, I was pushing his buttons but I didn't care. "I wouldn't do that to you…" his voice was distant- like he was imagining just beating the hell out of me. "Oh that's right," I laughed out again, "You don't hit people- you just stab them to death." There must have been something seriously wrong with my brain.

His blue eyes shot up to lock with mine, but I really didn't give a shit and the badass mood I was in was written all over my body, after all- what the hell could he do to me? Beat me? Like I didn't already get that from Genesis. Kill me? And reunite me with my mother, sister, and brother, and also make me free from his grasp? Kidnap me and steal me away from Genesis? He didn't have anything on me.

"Just go away," turning back around now, I was tired of dealing with bullshit from everyone- and I really didn't want to see him. "Those boys…" He meant Cloud and Zack, "They're here to try and help you?" I didn't respond so he must have assumed that meant yes, "Why won't you let them help?" his voice was calm, I rolled off the bed and stood up, about to walk into the other room and wake up Cloud. "It doesn't matter why," as my hand wrapped around the door knob his next sentence stopped me, "Is it because you like to get hit?"

Whipping around I looked at him- staring straight into his eyes, "No." my voice was definite. There was no way in hell I enjoyed getting hit and thrown around. He stood up from my bed and walked a few feet to lean against the wall, "You must if you do nothing to stop it…" his voice trailed off and something ticked further in my brain. "What? Because I try to stay here and live the most normal type of life I can live- means I'm some kind of masochist?" I wanted to yell more but I ran out of words- "Why am I so angry right now?" I thought.

He slowly shut his eyes and took a deep breath before popping his eyes open, "That's not what I meant," he started, "What I meant was- you don't want out of this life. You're fine with him beating you around," he shrugged his shoulders and I couldn't help the anger that was rising in me. "What the fuck!" I screamed at him, "Why the hell would you think that? Everyone expects me to want to 'get away' from this life," my own voice was mocking when I repeated their often spoken phrase, "Get away~" Fuming with anger I brought my leg back and full forced kicked my bed, not watching as the top mattress jumped and slid with the left force, I brought my leg back to kick it again, shouting at Shuyin all the while.

"It's not that bad of a fucking life! People just need to go the fuck away and leave me the hell alone!" I brought my leg back one more time but I stopped, me getting angry was just playing into what ever game he was trying to play. "You shouldn't want this life…" his tone was calm as he walked over and sat back down on the bed, and my mouth opened before I could stop it- I quickly bit back and clenched my fists tight. Shaking from it all. Why was I so angry?

Shuyin's voice echoed in my head, "You shouldn't want this life…" I should've responded to that, why didn't I? I don't know why but it kept echoing in my head, over and over and over. "Do I really deserve this?" I thought to myself, my first response was: "No, I deserve worse." That was when I came to the realization. My body stopped shaking, my eyes that had drifted to the floor continued to stare blankly, and even my breathing stopped for a second while I thought to myself, "I do want this life style… In fact- I deserve 10x what Genesis does…" That's why I never tried to leave.

Feeling hands gently grab hold of my outer arms, I was pulled forward slowly, but my mind was in such a haze that I didn't think to fight back, finally I reacted. I wiggled around, trying to get him to let go of me, "Let go," my voice was stern but my muscles barely worked to move his hands off me. He was sitting on my bed still, his lap flat as the corner of the bed met the back of his knees, he continued to pull and I now found myself laying down on the bed.

My face was turned into the outer part of his arm, my chest against his stomach, he held me tight to him. "Let go," I started to mumble, I found that the foundation of my 'badass-ary' wasn't actually there but rather a mirage and the image was already gone with my recent discovery. My breathing kept increasing and I kept fighting, "Shhh… Roxas, it's alright…" he whispers calmly over and over again, and I feel my breath become even more erratic- all I could think about was Leon, and how I was fine getting the shit beat out of me because it was something I accepted as 'My Life', I hated myself in that instant.

I hated all of this.

Unknowingly having fallen asleep my body shot forward to look around my now dark room. Shuyin was nowhere to be seen, I looked to my bedside table- and just as I knew it, there was a folded up piece of paper. Unfolding it I held it up to catch any small remnants of light, squinting my eyes to read the print.

"Roxas,

I look forward to the fulfillment of our deal, only another eleven months~ enjoy your time till then.

X"

I crumpled the note up and threw it across the room, not listening to when it hit the floor. Yeah- I had eleven months till I promised I would run away and live with him… and yeah- I didn't want to. But he said if I didn't he would take Genesis to court and get custody of both Sora and I, and Shuyin treated Sora (in his own way) like Genesis treats me. Sora is just terrified of him and scared of what he will do… and so am I.

Rolling to lay on my back I thought about why Shuyin even showed up. He just wanted to remind me about going to live with him…. I sighed and sat up, most of the pain was gone- it was just a stiffness that I couldn't get rid of all throughout my body. Finding a discarded shirt on the ground, I didn't care- nor could I tell- what was on it, I walked out into the hallway on my way to the living room to realize it was just a black short sleeved shirt with Korn written across the chest in white letters- real simple.

Running my fingers through my hair I pushed my hair forward and to the side- making it even more spiky than it probably was to begin with. In the kitchen I found Zack cooking while Cloud and Sora sat at the kitchen table, talking- with smiles on their faces. Walking over to Zack I turned and leaned my bottom half against the contour, "What're you making?" I asked quietly. Zack had a small smile on his face, "Just some mash potatoes and chicken strips," and like it always was- anything emotional that happened while Cloud and Zack were around could be simply left in the past till Sora or I brought it up.

Zack made Sora and Cloud a plate and then proceeded to hand me one, "No thanks," I said as politely and quietly as possible. "Are you sure?" Zack asked, that smirk still on his face, he didn't want to push the subject and probably risk me walking away again. I smiled back and tried to ignore the pain in my cheek, but it was obvious to them when my body flinched in pain. "But it's Zack's cooking, we haven't had that in soooo long~ and it's sooo good," Sora had a smile on his face and I could tell he was just trying to be nice about wanting me to eat, I didn't respond but instead continued to smile.

Zack took that as an incentive and made me a plate, but before I could even think about grabbing it, before I could think about what to say in response the front door slammed open and in walked Genesis, once he was a few steps inside he froze and looked from Zack to Cloud to me. "What the hell are you doing in my house?" His back straightened and he stood up straight as he basically sized up Zack and Cloud. "Go to your room…" Zack whispered to me as he turned around and faced Genesis completely, Sora walked over to me and pulled on my sleeve, "Don't fucking move." Genesis bit out at Sora and I but Sora continued to pull my sleeve.

"Zack and Cloud will handle it…" Sora's voice was calm as he sat down on the bed and pulled me to sit next to him, I opened my mouth to talk back to him, tell him that it wouldn't be, but he cut me off and started talking again. "They'll handle it," his voice was strong but it didn't reasure me any, my eyes drifted to look at the floor and before I knew it all that could be heard was Genesis shouting and Zack shouting back.

Sora ran his finger through my hair over and over again and it actually did help relax me, but the shouting just made me want to walk out there and tell them all to shut up and go away. Standing up I looked at Sora as he grabbed our bags, "Just in case…" he mumbled, he opened our shared drawer in our shared dresser and pulled out two sets of clothes for him and two sets for me.

"I have school Monday, don't I?" I asked him, a smile on my face as he smiled back at me, a silent dialogue of, "Oh what fun, waking up early," to which Sora responded, "Yupp… share the joy." Pulling on socks and my shoes Sora and I slipped on our hoodies and continued to listen to the shouting. I hated that they were arguing over Sora and I- mostly I.

Genesis was shouting about calling the police and I think the only thing stopping him was knowing he would get in more trouble than either of the other two. On my nightstand I found my buried bottle of pain killers and some bandages, Sora helped me, placing a band-aid under the outer corner of my eye to cover the cut and a giant plaster to cover the dark bruise on my temple. Sitting back on the bed we waited for the shouting to stop, that's when I noticed Sora was almost in tears. "Sora, what's wrong?"

Obviously there was a lot wrong, but I wanted to know why this sudden onslaught of tears arose. "I just… I want a home where we're loved. You know? I'm glad Cloud and Zack are trying to help, but I wish there was nothing wrong they needed to help us with. I want to be able to fall asleep at night and not worry about someone hurting us or even police breaking in…" His voice was feigning calmness.

Pulling him closer to me I rubbed his hair out of his face and held him tight, "It'll be alright Sora… Look at it this way: One day- we'll have our own house- or you'll be in a home with your boyfriend, and everything will be fine… I promise…" I kissed the top of his head, talking to him more- what was really getting to him was all the shouting from Zack and the shouting from Genesis.

"Roxas! Sora! Get the hell out of my house!" Genesis slammed a door shut- the one to his room and before I knew it Sora had his backpack on and was dragging me and my own bag. Zack was sitting on the ground, rubbing his cheek before he stood up quick, I wanted to ask about it but I wanted to get out of the house first. We stood by the road for a good few minutes before Cloud motioned for us to get in his and Zack vehicle.

Climbing in the back I looked at Zack and finally broke the silence, "Are you alright?" He gave his little signature smile and looked more at Cloud than me, "Yeah, I'm alright…" Zack could have easily dodged the punch, but I knew he wasn't looking to fight Genesis, he knew if he dodged it or fought back Genesis wouldn't have stopped. "You guys are welcome to stay with us as long as you want," Cloud finally spoke, looking at us in the review mirror, "But you've already done a whole bunch," I mumbled, we got to their house, which was the same as I remembered it. The house was originally Cloud's, he lived there with his mother and his step father growing up, I wondered if they were still here, "Is it just you two here now?" Sora asked before I could.

"Mom and dad," Cloud began, it was actually his mother and his stepfather, "well… they got in an accident my senior year of high school… they left the place to me, Zack moved in and now it's our place." he shut his door as he climbed out of the vehicle, the rest of us following suit. "Oh… I'm sorry," His parents were really nice- even though his biological father was probably worse than Genesis and died when Cloud was in grade school, Cloud turned out pretty well.

Five seconds in the house and all I could think about was Leon sneaking us over at night to hide away from Genesis was he got beaten up too badly and was afraid he wouldn't be able to protect us. "I'm going to go for a walk," I whispered as I opened the recently shut door and walked down the driveway and onto the sidewalk. "Hey," I turned around to see Cloud walking up behind me, jogging to catch up, "Are you alright?" He asked when he was finally next to me, his shoulders were shrugged up in hopes of keeping his eyes warm from the cold- I knew that because I was doing the same. The cold air was biting at my face and for some reason my clothed knees.

"Yeah, of course," If he thought I was upset about what happened at the house- oh well, was my thoughts, I'd get over it. "It's… weird… being in my house after so many years isn't it?" his voice was smooth and deep to my ears while my eyes stayed locked on the snow and ice covered sidewalks. "Definitely," I laughed out a little, there was a silence that followed my words and soon I found myself speaking just so there wouldn't be a silence, "The only time Sora or I were over at your house was when Leon dragged us over…"

Cloud gave a sad laugh and was now looking at me, "Is there anywhere else you could stay?" I thought for a bit- of course if I said no I would still be allowed to stay at his house, he just knew it was hard for me to stay there. "I could ask my friend…" "You know his number?" I nodded my head yes and was a bit shocked when Cloud pulled out a cell-phone.

"Hello?" "Hey… is Axel there?" "This is him." he sounded so formal, "Hi, this is Roxas," "Oh, 'ey Rox, waz up?' formality went out the window. "I could be better, but… I was wondering if you were busy?" "Uh… not really, just playing video games," there was a small silence, "Wanna hang out?" I didn't really know how to ask, so he could probably tell that I was a bit nervous. "Yeah, it'll be fine- but Reno has my car, so I won't be able to pick you up," "Alright… well… I'll be there soon then," I hung up the phone and we walked back to the house so I could grab my bag.

"Where you going," "I'm going to go to Axel's…" Sora was looking at me from the couch, the same place he sat down when he arrived- he was nervous about being there too, but Sora would be fine- most the times we came over Sora was passed out anyway, I doubt he remembers much about it. "Is cloud going to drive you?" "I'm going to walk," "Seriously? It's like five miles away…" I shrugged, hoping Cloud couldn't hear Sora- Cloud and Zack had already done so much, besides, it wasn't actually 5 miles, it was more like 3 by road but I would be cutting across lawns- I could be there within the hour.

I hugged Sora goodbye and gave him a copy of Axel's number and told him to call if something happened, then a began walking. Don't worry, nothing happened on the walk. Other than the fact that it was indeed still November and the snow was packed about a foot and a half high and the breeze was not treating me nicely. My hoodie was thin but that's because I would rather freeze than sweat- hey, I'm weird like that.

I don't know when I left Cloud's house but when I got to Axel's I knew it hadn't been that long and I was frozen to a whole new level- way past icicle. Knock, Knock "It's open!" I heard a yell from inside, definitely Axel's, stomping my feet a few good times to get the snow off- trying not to be rude, but what it ended up doing was jolting all of my bruises and making me squeeze my eyes shut. Fuck being polite. Opening the door I jumped inside and as I shut the door behind me I slipped off my shoes and walked further into the familiar house.

"Hello?" "In here," I followed the sound in the direction of Axel's room, "I thought you were playing video games?" I asked as I pushed his bedroom door open, he was laying on his bed holding his phone above his head, "And I thought you said you would be here soon, it's been almost an hour," I shrugged my shoulders, "I walked…" walking gave me enough time to clear my head, to push away the memories and new events and just focus on what was going to happen in the next few minutes- that always made me feel like I could handle everything.

"Holy shit!" I heard Axel shout out, he was being really loud tonight and I think if he kept it up I was going to get a massive headache. "What happened to you?" Oh yeah… "Huh? Nothing…" I shrugged again as I sat on his bed, near his feet, "Nothing my ass! What happened," he started but he must have been able to feel the coldness I was radiating because it looked like a chill ran up his spine and now he was sitting up and the backside of his hand was touching my cheeks, "You feel like an ice cube," he stood up and plugged in his portable heater, aiming it at me as he opened his closet and pulled down a blanket, handing it to me.

"I told you I walked here…" I still couldn't feel my fingers or toes, he seemed to drop it there though as I stood up and wrapped myself in the blanket and sat back down. "So seriously… what happened to your face?" I shrugged my shoulders… "No, you have to give me an answer." his voice was definite and I don't know if I like that, it kind of made me angry, I wanted to yell at him that it was none of his business but I decided to try and be nice.

"I slipped on some ice," I shrugged my shoulders again, I had slipped on ice on my way here and I had fallen and it hurt like a bitch, so it technically wasn't lying- it was just changing the subject with out him noticing. He looked at me through the corner of his eyes- suspiciously, before closing his eyes, shaking his head and running his fingers through his hair. With a sigh he dropped it and we had pretty much nothing to talk about. Turning on music kept the silence away- but it was quiet enough so if we talked we would be able to hear each other, "I have a question," I finally said, trying to start a conversation.

"And what's that?" Axel asked as he busied himself with a loose string on the hem of his shirt, "Demyx said he wanted to hang out because Zexion had to work, it's not really that big a deal, but then why was Zexion with us all day?" I didn't understand. Axel smiled for some reason, "Oh, that's because he'd been working straight- every day for the past two weeks, so Demyx asked if I would call in for him," he was smiling at the memory, and I couldn't help but smile too. "Why didn't Demyx just call in for him?" "If Demyx did that then Zexion would be mad at him~ if I did it he would still be mad but I'm not the one dating him," he laughed again.

"How long have they been dating anyway?" I need to introduce Sora to them- just because Sora needs friends and I want him to befriend someone who could understand him, he's never really been able to do that. "Hmmm…" Axel thought as he looked up, the serious look of concentration on his face forced me to try and hide my laughter. "Ever since Zexion moved here I guess…" "Huh?" How could you go out with someone who just moved to town?

"Well… Zexion's really quiet- as you've found out, so when he moved here he didn't really have anyone to talk to, but Demyx was quick to talk for him and was pretty much dragging him around… I don't think Zexion will ever admit it- at least to anyone other than Demyx, but I think he likes having someone like the talkative Demyx around… Zexion moved here when he was in eighth grade- when he was 14, and Demyx was 13" Axel moved around to get comfortable. "They just hung out together since the first day Zexion came here and have been together everyday since." I nodded my understanding.

"You guys all seem pretty close…" "Huh?" Axel opened his eyes to look at me, like he was confused by my question, "Well of course," he continued, "We're friends, that's how friends are supposed to be…" there was a silence and he added on a few more words- as if he was speak directly to me, "We don't have to know everything about each other, because we know if we ever need to talk someone will be there and they wouldn't judge us or be angry at us because they're our friends- which means they're there when we're happy and outgoing but also when we're sad and scared."

There was a silence again, so I chose to break it, "Wow Axel… way to go all poetic on me," I smirked and he laughed, waving his hand at me, "Yeah yeah yeah." we were silent again for a while… "I have a question for you- and it's really personal so you don't have to answer if you don't want to…" he nodded his head for me to continue, "Are you gay?" he shrugged his shoulders, "I don't know," my mouth dropped, "What? How don't you know?" I was smirking again, "Well…" Axel started, nervously, "would you not want to hang out if I was gay?"

"I'm your friend Ax… and like you just said, I'm not going to judge you or be angry with you, you'll still be my friend- it won't change anything…" "Well… then yeah… I'm gay… have you 'figured out' your sexual orientation?" he said in a strange tone, I laughed at his weird joke, "Still don't know…" Again the silence returned and I broke it again, "you want to know what I do know?" he nodded his head, "That I'm fecking cold." Axel laughed at that and I felt less like I was making him depressed.

We talked about random things all night, Reno got home but we still talked and we kept talking at some point I fell asleep though, when I woke up I was sleeping on Axel's bed and the redhead was sleeping next to me, over the blankets, I took it upon myself to climb over him and pull the blankets out from under him before climbing back over him and going back to sleep. I think the redhead was up, because right before I was pulled under into sleep I felt him pull me closer to him.

So I really don't like writing Zexion because my little brother's name is Zax, so I keep typing Zaxion… and just sounds like I'm saying Zack-san xD yeah… anyways… random fact…