The Dark Lord Ehwaz

A/N: Yet another installment! Anyone have any ideas? I'm open to them :) R&R!

Ron very much hated being ignored.

He hated this almost as much as corned beef.

But nothing could EVER touch the magnitude of the hatred he felt for (here he shuddered) maroon.

He absently pushed away the first few thoughts he'd been able to string together this week in his thick head, telling himself that the putrid-looking shade of ugly was not the object of hate today.

It was being ignored.

Harry was the Boy-Who-Lived, Hermione was smart and a know-it-all, Fred and George were popular and funny, Percy had been the perfect example of a model student, Bill was a curse-breaker, Charlie worked with dragons, and Ginny was not only the baby in the family— she was the first Weasley girl in ages.

SO not fair.

Ron wasn't really anything. He was a mediocre person, and that had to change! People needed to notice him for something he did, not in connection with someone else!

And Harry was just much too famous for his own good.

All of a sudden, Ron was struck with an idea (he looked around for a Bludger at first; ideas came so rarely he really couldn't remember what they felt like when he got one) — he would become a Dark Lord!

"All hail the Dark Lord Weasley! No… the Dark Lord Ron! That's stupid… the Dark Lord…" Ron looked around the Common Room, his eyes falling upon the open Ancient Runes textbook Hermione had left when grabbing a bite from the kitchens. "That's it! The Dark Lord Ehwaz!"

Clutching his wand tightly, Ron ran off to the Room of Requirement to put his plan into action.


A month later, Ron—oh, he's glaring, watch it— the Dark Lord Ehwaz was ready to make his debut near the lake, where Harry and Hermione were supposed to "study" that night. He snorted. Did Harry really think he was that thick! That evil Boy-Who-Lived was stealing his Hermione!

He snuck out onto the castle grounds, darting behind trees and humming a tune the Room of Requirement would play when he was practicing stealth (ironically, it was some Muggle movie theme song— some moving picture about an impossible mission, whatever).

"There you go, Harry! You've got it!" Ron scowled at the obvious happiness in Hermione's voice— she would certainly learn to respect the Dark Lord Ehwaz!

Finally Ron couldn't stand listening to his two supposedly–best–friends flirt like that, and he jumped out from behind a nearby tree with his wand drawn. Ron bellowed, "Turn around and face the Dark Lord Ehwaz!"

Startled, Harry and Hermione whipped around so fast both of them were hit by Hermione's bush-like hair. Harry took one good look at the so–called "Dark Lord" and dropped his wand, laughing so hard he sank to his knees. Hermione fought hard to keep the huge grin off of her face, her wand shaking from silent laughter.

There stood a masked teenager with a crackly, puberty-ravaged voice, in a stained and threadbare black cloak, wearing the Greek comedy/tragedy theater mask, with the comedy one currently over the boy's face, and angry-looking eyebrows inked onto the flimsy double mask. A ratty pair of combat boots completed the picture, sticking out from underneath the too-short cloak.

Harry was still laughing. "He thinks—he thinks he's a Dark Lord!" he wheezed out, clutching his ribs and massaging them.

The Dark Lord Ehwaz glared, pulling the tragedy mask over his face. "Shut up, filth! How dare you touch her! You should wash your hands before touching such beauty!" This time, Hermione too dissolved into giggles.

"He sounds like my mum! 'Wash your hands before you touch important things!'" Hermione imitated. "Dark Lord Ehwaz! Dark Lord Horse!"

That one caught the Dark Lord Ehwaz off-guard. "What?" he asked, lowering his wand a fraction.

Hermione (of course) instantly stopped laughing and assumed her "I know everything" pose. "Ehwaz is a rune translated to mean horse. It is often confused with Eihwaz, which means yew, which of course is the most powerful tree, magically, in the world. Therefore, Eihwaz is construed as power, as well."

The Dark Lord Ehwaz looked dejected. "Bugger," he said, pulling off the mask to the completely-surprised-and-slightly-horrified looks of his friends. "I fucked up."

Ron never tried to gain attention by becoming a Dark Lord again.

The next time, he decided to prance around the Common Room in a hot pink thong.

Later that night, Ron found out the hard way that Seamus Finnigan's girlfriends were only a front.